Chapter 14

14

Percy

T he morning came way too quickly. I wanted to stay snuggled in Ben's arms, but I did have a business to run. Tammy Sue could do a lot, but the baking was mainly me. She could make the cookies and cupcakes, but everything else required me to be there.

Ben was so warm. Pressed up against his hard body was my new happy place, but this was what it was, right? I couldn't begin to think that this was a forever kind of thing, no matter what sweet words he might say. He didn't live here. Sure, it wasn't really that far, but it was still a very long distance. One night was not a real future, and I needed to screw my head on straight. If I didn't, I would start imagining us adopting two kids and going to Little League games together.

It would be so easy to fall into that fantasy.

I had wanted it for so long. I was now here, and it felt too easy. He looked at me – he touched me like it mattered. When would the other shoe drop? Where was the event that would change everything once again? I watched way too many movies. I just wanted to snuggle closer. But I couldn't. I had a business that I couldn't ignore.

It would be too easy to fall.

It was early, and I slipped out of his bed as carefully as I could. He shifted as I scooted out of his arms and curled into a ball. I didn't want to wake him. If I did, I didn't see how I could pull myself away. One glance from him, and I would want to feel him inside me again. I was already late, but I so wanted him to turn over and hold out his hand for me to slide back into bed with him.

I had baking to do and a life I had to get back on track. Nothing could be put before saving my business, not just from the corporation that wanted to buy it but from running it into the ground myself. I had purchased the oven by digging deep into my savings, and I knew that hurt. I had stolen from myself over and over again to keep the bakery running, and I couldn't continue down that path for much longer. Something had to shift.

No matter how much I wanted to stay safely in his arms, this was not something that he could help with. I slipped my clothes back on and was glad that we showered last night before we went to bed. I couldn't kiss him goodbye because I wasn't sure I could even say those words to him.

It would be too easy to fall?

I had already tripped.

I made sure my keys and wallet hadn't fallen out of my pants as I slid them on. I had to scrounge around to even find my t-shirt, and I carefully opened the door and shut it quietly behind me.

It was better this way, even if it did feel like sneaking out. He'd understand when he realized I did have to go to work. But sleeping in his arms had felt safer than I had thought it would. We fit well together. It had just taken time for our pieces to harden for it to happen. We were now adults and whole individuals who knew who they were and what they wanted. I was still in shock that it was me he wanted. The world had shifted.

It would be too easy to fall. But I hoped he would catch me or we would fall together.

Life was weird.

But the idea of him was intoxicating.

I walked over to the bakery about an hour later than usual. Tammy Sue was already there, and I heard her banging around in the back as she tried to bake whatever she was struggling with. Cookies, probably.

"Hi," I grinned as I walked into our kitchen.

"That is definitely a walk of shame. I think you have a clean t-shirt in the back room," she giggled. "Did you have a good night?"

"It was good." I couldn't stop myself from grinning. The feeling of him was still within my body like an electric current that had no end.

"You somehow look even hornier. How the hell is that possible?"

"You're hilarious." I slid on my apron and walked over to wash my hands in the sink.

"I have Evelyn's cookies already boxed up. So… Who did you do last night?"

"Why does Evelyn insist on coming before we're even open? We really should tell her that she needs to pick them up the day before."

"Evelyn's gonna Evelyn. You can't change a tiger's stripes, hon. Now stop trying to change the subject and tell me about that dick." She cackled happily. She was enjoying this way too much.

"You are so crass."

"And you love it. Did you stay over at his place, or did you go to yours? I thought it was just going to be coffee."

"We went to Lover's Butte, and he brought coffee with us."

"Then he got into your butt?" She made a very dirty gesture of penetration with her finger, and I could feel the heat of my blush.

"Maybe I got into his."

"Please you have always been a total bottom. You were born that way."

"I'm totally verse." I lied.

"I'm sure that you are. So… How was it?"

"The Earth shook, okay? Is that what you want to hear?"

"I actually wanted pictures, but I'll take what I can get. It's so weird that he's here, and he's not a fucking dick. Well, I mean, you did fuck his dick, but he's not an actual walking and talking dick slash asshole any longer. My pun got away from me. I hate when that happens."

"No, he's not the same. He's like he used to be, I guess. Better? I mean, I hope we all are, right?" I was falling… and I was starting to feel ok about it.

"Hmm… Some of us only grew. We didn't have to change." She leaned against the counter and giggled. "What would you do if Tim walked in here right now and confessed his love for you? I mean, when it rains, it pours, right?"

"Tim is… Can I just have this, please? Tim is sweet, and if he did fall madly in love with me – nothing else mattered the moment Ben said hello, and you know it." I pulled the mixer over so I could start, but baking didn't quite have the joy today, knowing that Ben was still asleep in his room and that I had left him there.

"Tim is straight and has a lot of baggage. I should fuck him just to be able to throw it in Pam's fucking face. Maybe I'll be the kid's new mommy."

"You are sick." I grabbed the flour and a measuring cup.

"But you love me. What does that say about you?"

"That I'm the kind of guy who jumped in Ben's bed once I accepted his apology."

"And that's because?"

I shot her a dirty glance. "Are you trying to get me to say I'm a ho? Because you know that isn't true."

"Nope. Just that your horniness got the best of you. You should have been fucking other people so you could make good decisions. A throbbing cock always leads to bad decisions. Make them work for that, honey."

"You're gonna make a great new mommy for Tim's kids." I laughed, feeling lighter than I had in a long time. "You think it's a mistake?"

"What I think doesn't really matter." She held up her finger to stop me from responding. "But I wouldn't call it a mistake. I mean, it's just sex. But I also know you, and you've had a massive thing for him even when he was an asshole. I just don't want to see you get hurt when he leaves again. He will leave again, you know. He has a job and a life about four hours from here with traffic. I just want to make sure you're keeping your head on straight."

I hung my head and felt my shoulders slump. "I'm… not, I don't think. It's hard not to, you know? He's here, and he wants me. I think he really cares for me, and I know that it's… maybe stupid and too fast, but I don't think I can stop myself."

"I just love you, Perce. Trust me, I, of all people, know how you've always felt for him. But… I guess that's all. Have fun."

"And you'll be here to pick up my pieces if it comes to that?" I whispered.

"Always. So, was his cock small? People who are assholes usually have small dicks. That's what I've always heard, anyway."

"Either he isn't an asshole, or that was a lie because it was…"

A loud bang came from the locked front door.

"Fuck you, Evelyn. I was finally getting to the good part." She walked over to the door that separated our kitchen from the front of the shop and turned back to me. "You're not mad at me for saying that, are you?"

"Mad at you for being concerned about your best friend? No, of course not." I grinned.

Another bang on the door.

"Dammit, Evelyn! I'm coming!" She walked out to let Evelyn in, and everything she said washed over me. He would leave. He had to, didn't he? Was this just a quick fling that got it out of our systems? An exorcism of our past so we could finally look towards a future, even if it might not be with each other? God, it was depressing. All I wanted was to run back to his room, throw myself in his arms, and lock the door behind us – safe together and away from the real world. We couldn't exist that way, though.

Reality was way overrated.

"I have to get these cookies. All of the ladies of the auxiliary would be depressed if I didn't bring them. They are huge fans of this bakery." Evelyn's voice carried all the way to our kitchen. I walked out to the front and waved at her. She may be a little crazy or extra, but she was a dependable customer who came every week for the same order.

"Hello, Percy. The girls are huge fans of your snickerdoodles. I know you don't usually carry them in the store very often, but I always appreciate you making them for me. They go perfect with our tea." She beamed at me happily.

"What is the group that you belong to, Evelyn?" I swear that Tammy Sue got off on Evelyn's stories. The name of her group changed every week or two as if she couldn't remember what she had previously told us.

"Oh, honey, you know what group! It's the Blue Hat Ladies Auxiliary down by Chico. We get together and travel around to see plays and concerts – the fine arts, you know. We are a charitable organization that gives hundreds of thousands of dollars a year to the arts and artists that we love." Her eyes darted around the store. "I think I'll grab a loaf of that bread, too, if you don't mind."

"Do you help bakers?" I huffed. "Because this one is very needy."

"We should. This place is one of my favorites in Foggy Basin. Your mother always helped me with these same cookies. Yours are even better than hers, Percy, and that is saying something. We're all so glad that you're back."

"Are there any other ladies here in town who're a part of the group? You don't drive all the way there yourself, do you?" Tammy asked. We had all seen Evelyn behind the wheel, and it was not pretty.

"I'm fine, and no, there are no other art aficionados in this town. It's a very lonely thing to know you are a one-of-a-kind in a town full of plebians." She giggled. "When I started the organization forty years ago, I had no idea it would grow into the size it is now. There are hundreds of blue hat ladies in California alone." She ran her hands over her silvery gray hair and giggled. "You look tired, honey. You're working too hard."

"Oh, it's not work that made Percy so tired. He had a date last night." Tammy Sue teased.

"Oh, did he, now. Was it that sweet boy Ezra from Beauty and the Boutique? I always thought you two would be adorable together. Of course, I don't know if he's a bottom or not." She put her hand over her mouth and giggled.

"Evelyn, I am shocked that you know anything about that." Tammy Sue burst out into a cackle.

"Please. When you've been around as long as I have, you learn quite a few things. I was actually at the uprising in Modesto when a brick got thrown through a window at a gay bar. I think Judy Garland was performing that night."

"Stonewall?" Tammy Sue looked over at me and grinned.

"No. I don't think the walls were made of stone. I've always been a supporter of the gays. So, was it Ezra?" She asked hurriedly.

"No, it was definitely not Ezra. It was Ben Fitzgerald. He's visiting for a while." Tammy Sue answered quickly and stuck her tongue out at me. "The secret is out!"

Evelyn's eyes grew wide. "Quarterback Ben? Nancy's boy? Oh, he's not here visiting. He's working."

"What do you mean he's working."

"Oh, you poor thing. He works for that resort who's trying to buy the land from the city. I was told by Reuben, you know, our mailman, that Susie over at the Dress Emporium told him that Ben was here to try to get the businesses to sell to his company. Didn't he tell you that? He wants you to sell the bakery to them. That's why he's in town."

"I… I have to…" I turned and walked back into the kitchen. The world had stopped spinning, and my thoughts were like lead.

"Did I say something wrong? Tell him to call Ezra. I always thought they'd be so cute together. Thanks for the cookies, Percy."

I heard Tammy Sue shut the door. A few seconds later, she was walking into the kitchen and stood there with her arms crossed. "Do you think that what she said is true?"

"Do you?" I mumbled, feeling like the world's biggest fucking loser.

"I don't know. I mean, it's Evelyn, and she's batshit crazy. I mean, the Blue Hat Society and Judy Garland in Modesto at a gay bar… Crazy. But… I mean, it could make sense. Maybe? He's here. I could run over to Susie's when she opens and ask. Do you want me to?"

"No. I think it's best if I just ask him, don't you? It can't be. He hasn't said one thing to me about it." I turned and picked up a ball of dough that Tammy Sue had begun working on.

"He works for some kind of architecture firm or something, right? What was it he said he did?"

"He works for… Oh, God, Tammy Sue." I could feel the tears building up in my eyes. "I might have slept with the enemy. I'm fucking Julia Roberts, and that movie did not end well."

She quickly closed the gap between us, and as soon as her arms wrapped around me, I sobbed onto her shoulder. I knew it was true, even if I had heard it from Evelyn. She knew most of the gossip around here since she was the town's busybody.

"It was too good to be true. He was using me to get close to me. He was going to try to get me to sell, wasn't he?"

"I don't know, babe. But we'll soon find out."