Chapter Eight

They camped by the river that night and ate bread and dried meat they'd packed. They didn't have cups, and drinking straight from one of the wine bottles worked well. The sound of the river rushing by not far was relaxing, and with Remus telling Sébastien stories, it was a distraction from earlier.

"I heard you were writing a book once," Remus said suddenly.

Sébastien shot him a look. "Who told you that?"

"Maxime mentioned it."

Sébastien shrugged and tried to not focus on the prick of anger in his chest. That stupid thing. What a waste of fucking time. Maxime should have left that out.

"Did you finish it?" asked Remus.

"I finished a draft and started refining it. I gave up."

"I'm curious as to what it was about."

Sébastien hesitated. "It was about elves who were at war. The good King had to go find a full set of magical armor and a sword that pretty much made him invincible so he could cut his way through swathes of enemies without a scratch. The evil King had a maniacal laugh that could be heard for miles."

He still cringed inside when he remembered that part. At thirteen, it had seemed like a great idea to give the big, bad King a loud, wicked cackle so everyone would know just how evil he was.

"That sounds kind of normal for a thirteen-year-old," said Remus.

"The whole thing was a terrible mess."

"You could have fixed it."

"Why bother? I burned it when I was fourteen." Sébastien scooted back a little from their fire since the night was quite warm even with the sun down. "Maxime had no idea what it was about, yet he acted like I was writing the finest piece of literature to ever grace the realm when I first mentioned the book to him. If he'd seen it, he would have said to burn it too."

"Aw, come on."

Sébastien took a swig from the bottle. "I didn't care anymore." He'd stopped caring about a lot of things at fourteen.

Remus rested his chin on his hand. "If writing was something you actually liked, maybe you could get back into it later. I've never written a book before, so I don't have experience with it. You're older, and since you've had more schooling and time to read other books, you could likely write something better."

Sébastien shrugged. It had seemed exciting then, and occasionally, he'd considered trying to write again. He'd always pushed the urge down because it was useless, and the excitement of being thirteen and creating a new world was gone. There was only the real world, and living in it was brutal.

"You seemed more like a nonfiction person to me," said Remus. "That's what was on your shelf for the most part."

"The real world sucks. You might as well get used to it and learn about it so you can try to plan ahead for the worst times." Sébastien gave him the bottle.

"Er, do you actually enjoy reading it, or do you just treat it as some kind of study for life?"

"No, I truly enjoy it. I've always loved reading, and I used to have more fiction. Enzo said my nose was going to be snapped off by a book closing one day."

Remus snorted. "What happened to the fiction books?"

"Some I simply outgrew because they were for kids. The rest, I put in the library. Uncle bought me a bunch at fourteen, and I kept trickling them into the library so I didn't have to look at them. They were rewards. I sold them later."

Remus hesitated. "Rewards?"

Sébastien stared ahead at the dark beyond the circle of light from the fire. "For doing what he wanted. He'd say it was a reward. It was twisted because at the same time, I had to pay for the presents. He used to buy me all kinds of shit. Jeweled bookmarks, belts with gold buckles, silver laces for coats, and cloak pins. I'd keep them out in my room for a bit to make it seem like I was using them, or I'd wear an item a few times. Once I was sure he'd forgotten a gift or wouldn't notice I wasn't wearing it, I'd hide it in a box in my closet so I didn't have to look at it. I planned to toss them later. One day, I decided to keep everything instead."

"For the money?"

"Yeah. I wanted an entirely private stash of money that didn't come from the treasury in case I left on my own to come to Rowland. I slowly sold everything bit by bit, and before we left the Palace, I already had this money belt in the trunk at the bottom." Sébastien gave a bitter semblance of a smile. "Like a fuck you to him to take his worthless shit, turn it into money, and use it against him in a way."

"I'm surprised you could stand to keep the items that long."

"I wanted the small victory for all of his worthless rewards. I was tempted to toss it all down the privy more than once. If I didn't do something right, he'd say I didn't deserve whatever last present he'd given, and I'd be punished."

Remus paused again. "If I ask you something, will you tell me honestly?"

"Maybe."

Remus fidgeted with the bottle. "Are spankings something he did, and you're just not telling me?"

"I can have something I like that doesn't involve him," snapped Sébastien.

"I'm just making sure. I'm sorry."

"That's something I wanted on my own, and you're the only one to ever do it to me," said Sébastien.

"I'm just trying to make sure I don't do anything that's going to remind you of him. Something that might be small to me could be big to you."

Sébastien took the bottle. "You don't seem like the type who enjoys making others cry, and you wouldn't beat me for cumming and not trying harder to hold it back, would you?"

"Fuck no!"

"Then you don't have much to worry about." Sébastien took a drink. "I don't mind if you touch my neck or throat. Don't ever choke me or do anything to cut off my air. Not being able to breathe terrifies me, and I'll panic."

Something in Remus's expression dropped. "When I mentioned gagging you on my cock, I didn't mean it like that. It's not keeping the other from breathing that I like. It's, er, more of the effort they're putting in to get my dick in."

That made sense. It showed they were eager for it, and most men would likely enjoy seeing another who wanted his dick so badly, he'd gag on it. "We're past that day. I'm not mad at you."

"Anything you don't like, tell me if it comes up. I don't care how small it seems."

Sébastien wasn't sure why Remus saying that made him more uncomfortable than asking for his bare ass to be spanked. Perhaps uncomfortable wasn't quite the right word. He wasn't used to anyone stating their intentions and actually giving a fuck about his feelings and wants. Maybe the wine had loosened him up because he couldn't believe he'd poured out a part of himself again.

He'd gotten used to Uncle saying nice things that always had some underlying meaning or were simply bullshit. Remus was like a gift that he didn't know what to do with because it was too good and unexpected.

There truly didn't seem to be any price for saying he wanted or didn't want something, even though his mind said he should look for it because betrayal always lurked.

"We should probably go to sleep," said Sébastien. "Do you want the rest of this or should I cork it?"

"Cork it. I'm done."

"If you want me to be quiet about stuff in the future…"

"No. I just said to tell me whatever you need."

"I mean, if you don't want to hear certain things. The details and…it's likely not fun even if it's only about a box of shit in my closet that I didn't want. It's not a weight you should worry about."

"I'd say keeping everything bottled up isn't always good. You tried to tell Remere before…I think most would eventually want to speak. Shit festers."

Sébastien hadn't expected Remere to do anything, tell Father, or solve anything. The damage had already been done and couldn't be fixed. Uncle had dropped him like a whore, and the lesson remained. No one was going to help him. He'd only wanted to get some part of it out.

Until Remere looked at him like he was a pile of shit, and he realized he couldn't even try to unload a tiny bit with words. He'd regretted it during the next week when Remere had refused to talk to him at all. It had made him feel dirtier than ever.

"Shit does fester."

"You can talk to me anytime." Remus leaned over to kiss his cheek.

***

The safe rhythm almost seemed like it would never end. They passed a village by the river, a fishery, and more miles of space where innocent critters scampered. Occasionally, a bridge spanned the river although they never crossed, and the weather grew warmer as they went.

Summer in Soleil could be hot. Rowland wasn't quite the same. The warmth was heavier, and it was more humid. Remus seemed perfectly fine with it since he'd grown up in such weather. It wasn't quite as hot as Finkin where men often wore skirts, and even women's clothing was different to accommodate the heat. The humidity was enough to make Sébastien start despising the cap he always wore to hide his hair, and he almost longed to be back in Soleil where he wouldn't sweat so much in summer.

They found a nice spot where rocks in the water made a sort of natural pool. Sébastien had sweated through his clothes that afternoon since it had grown cloudy and particularly humid. He wanted to dunk his whole body in the water and not come out until he looked like a prune.

For them each to have a private wash at the edge, the other would go off in the woods. For a decent soak, the other would spend a lot of time looking at the same land, trees, and sky that they'd seen all day. Maybe an occasional wild nalcin or spinky would liven up the landscape. Sébastien didn't feel like it, and he knew Remus, who was digging in his pack, wouldn't either. They could both get in, and he'd done nothing untoward. He didn't even ask if Sébastien wanted another spanking.

"Figures," mumbled Remus. "The damn soap slid all the way to the bottom."

Sébastien watched a spinky with its big round head land and shake out its orange wings before it daintily stepped into the river. Sébastien warred with himself in his brain while it settled like a duck and floated farther away.

Fuck it. Remus had already seen a good deal of him. Remus looked up as Sébastien tossed his shirt to the grass and started undoing his belt.

"Er, I know it's hot. Give me a second, and I'll-"

"You could come in with me if you want instead of waiting."

Remus almost dropped the cake of soap as Sébastien turned to preserve a little modesty and pulled down his drawers and trousers together. Leaving them by his boots, he stepped into the water which nearly felt like ice on his warm skin. The fact he suddenly felt hotter, partly from shame since nudity wasn't something he was used to, didn't help.

Goosebumps erupted as he forced himself in deeper. With the initial shock gone, the cold wasn't so bad. He got in up to his chest and sank to wet his hair and run his fingers through it. When he came up and opened his eyes, Remus was stepping out of his drawers without a single stitch covering the rest of him.

Sébastien hadn't expected him to be getting hard. Or for it to be that large. He'd figured it wasn't small under the tunic on the night of the egg incident because the front of Remus's tunic had been tenting quite a bit. Seeing it out and up was another matter. Dear Elira.

Remus caught him staring. "The cold water will probably make it go down again."

"You put other men to shame," Sébastien dared to say.

"You don't have anything to be ashamed of. I've seen the bulge it makes."

Sébastien's face grew hot again. Could he take that whole thing down his throat? Likely yes since he had no gag reflex. He was sure Remus wouldn't even shove his head down and make him panicky because he couldn't breathe.

Everything about Remus's front was as perfect as the back. The pecs and ridges of his abs. The toned muscles of his hips seemed to make a V and drew the eye down. He must have used the shaving lather that made hair disappear for five years on his chest, stomach, and between his legs. Plenty of people used it, and Sébastien had too because he hated the irksome feel of hair in certain areas, especially in summer.

The water wasn't cold enough to keep Sébastien's cock down. Not with the sight of so much muscle.

Remus walked in until he could bend his legs a little and let the water tickle his chin. There was a safe gap between them so he wasn't going to come over and invade Sébastien's personal space.

He probably wouldn't mind if Sébastien invaded his. He couldn't see so well in the water, and he kept picturing the muscles. What would it be like to rub oil all over them and watch them glisten?

He paddled his way over. The distrust hissed not to do it, and the other side of his head wanted to feel. Remus watched him, not wary, but more curious like he was trying to figure out where things were going so he could follow along.

"Can I?" asked Sébastien.

"You can do whatever you want, and if I don't like something, I'll say so, okay?" Remus took his elbow without drawing him closer.

Sébastien hesitated before he brought himself close enough to get his arms around Remus's neck for support. He almost regretted it when Remus gently put his arms around him because with no clothes, he was vulnerable, and nobody had touched him so fully in years. Remus also had to be feeling his erection brushing against him.

Remus rubbed the middle of his back. "If it's too much, you can tell me to stop. ‘No' always means no. It doesn't matter if we're naked, dressed, or what's happening."

"Mhm." Sébastien tried to ease his body. The rubbing and Remus's hard chest felt good against him.

Remus gently took his arms to put a couple of inches between them. "If I feel like you're unable to answer properly either, and it's too much, I'll put a stop to things."

He'd even expected a proper answer when spanking him instead of just taking a slight hum. If he wasn't careful, it might be easy for a sound to be misconstrued as permission to continue, and if Sébastien wasn't able to say anything like that night in the cabin when replying had suddenly seemed impossible…

"I want to hug you. Rub my shoulders."

Remus chuckled at the demanding tone as he pulled Sébastien in and let them settle with their arms wrapped around each other. He tried to ease his body more because the feeling of Remus against him was good. Beyond good actually. The sensation of another man was supposed to be that way and not bring disgust.

"I absolutely hated that you were so attractive when I first saw you," said Sébastien.

"What?"

"I wanted you to be ugly, not ridiculously muscled and good-looking."

Remus snorted. "I never heard anyone say they wanted me to be ugly."

To Sébastien, Remus had been the spawn of his Father's killer. Seeing his body and having such a surge of lust, something he'd forced down over the years to keep everyone else away, had made him feel like a disgusting traitor to himself.

"I thought you were a little shit," said Remus. "Pretty, but an asshole. Since we're being honest."

Sébastien snorted.

"I don't want to shake the daylights from you anymore."

"That's relieving." Sébastien tried to mimic Remus's actions and rubbed, kneading the well-defined muscles.

"As long as there are no humblers, I'd still like to take a ride with you later."

"That was Eworn's thing for male slaves. Not mine."

"I'm just saying. I'd never heard of such a thing."

Sébastien breathed in his rose smell and for a wild moment, he was tempted to tell Remus to do anything he wanted. Throw him on the bank. Do whatever. Show him that sex was supposed to feel good and not leave him dirty afterward even if he ended up with mud on his knees and hands. He didn't even know what it was like to kiss someone for any longer than he'd done with Remus. Forget getting his cock sucked or anything else.

Even being against someone naked without an expectation looming in the future was foreign to him. He dared to kiss the side of Remus's neck and was rewarded with a faint shudder.

"If you keep doing that-" Remus drew in a breath as Sébastien continued. "My dick's never going down again."

There was a type of power in getting another worked up because he wanted it. Remus squeezed his shoulder, his fingers still working the muscles, and Sébastien had a little moment of glee. He dared to let his fangs graze as the urge to bite grew.

"You're in a sensitive spot where I like being bitten," said Remus.

Sébastien pushed the tips of his fangs in enough to dent the skin before snaking a hand down in the water to feel his pecs and run his fingers over Remus's abs. Pure fucking delight.

The urge was too much. Thank Elira some like being bitten since fanged fairies tended to do it instinctually if they liked the other. It was also something that hadn't been spoiled for him since he'd never done it to anyone else. His fangs pierced the skin, and Remus shuddered again at the tiny pricks. Sébastien wrapped his legs around his waist. The bite, feeling him, and the way the bigger man's muscles rippled against his hand…it wasn't enough.

Remus's hands tightened on his back. As soon as Sébastien pulled out his fangs, Remus took the back of his head in a firm grip and pressed his mouth against Sébastien's.

Before Remus, he hadn't known a kiss could be gentle and commanding at the same time. He unhooked his legs, and reached down. He wanted to know what it was like to grasp a cock purely because he felt like it for a change. Remus moaned against his lips once Sébastien gripped the thick length.

Remus would certainly not be tossing him on the bank so they could burn off the wild fit of lust. Not without oil to ease the way, and they didn't have any of that.

Remus started pushing them toward the bank. Since the demanding kiss was too good, Sébastien couldn't quite get his mouth off of Remus's.

They were suddenly in the mud with Sébastien on his back and partly in shallow water. He wasn't sure what to expect with Remus's bulk so heavy against him, his hard cock brushing Sébastien's, and his knees on either side. He couldn't even figure out if he was supposed to feel afraid. A part screamed yes, and the other side wanted to revel at having such a body against him.

Remus cupped either side of his face as he broke the kiss. "You have no idea how beautiful you are."

Truly, Sébastien tried not to think about it because his looks drew attention he'd rather not have from a bunch of guards and men eager for the prize they thought they could have for nothing. They didn't know there was no prize, and it had already been ripped from him.

Except Remus didn't look at him like he was nothing more than virginity to steal. His lips touched Sébastien's jaw and trailed down. His hands remained gentle like Sébastien could push them off at any time if he wanted, and he remembered that if he wanted this stop, one word was enough. No, red, stop. It didn't matter which because he wouldn't only be heard, he'd be listened to.

No rain had fallen from the dark clouds, and he closed his eyes to block out the sky as he let himself sink into the watery bank.

Remus trailed the kisses down and let go to brace himself with one hand and run the other hand down Sébastien's side. Nobody had ever kissed his chest. Or sucked on his nipples and stroked his waist and hip. Being touched all over like he was some kind of treasure to respect was foreign.

Remus's tongue flicked over Sébastien's nipple, making him twitch. "Do that again…"

Remus lapped at it before he let his teeth nip it. Sébastien's cock couldn't have been harder as Remus moved to the other nipple to tease and lick.

He let the kisses trail so low, Sébastien almost expected to feel them on his cock. Instead, they went back up. All over his abs, his chest, back to his nipples. When Remus kissed his hip, Sébastien strained upward a little.

"Please…" He needed to feel Remus's mouth on him.

"What?" asked Remus.

"Please-just a little-my cock-" Sébastien squeezed his eyes tighter. "I want to know what it's like…"

He almost couldn't believe he'd dared to voice that desire.

Water lapped over Sébastien's hips as Remus held them. A second later, his mouth was around the crown.

"Fuuuck."

Sébastien dug his fingers into the sand desperate for something to hold onto. Remus dragged his tongue along the underside before returning to the head and taking it in his mouth once more. Slowly, he slipped more in while working his tongue around the length.

Sébastien's breathing hitched as he squeezed the sand and forced his hips to stay still. Remus took him down to the root and held it for a few seconds.

Sébastien couldn't quite stay still once Remus set a steady pace. He'd never thought being sucked off would feel that good. The wet pressure was all around, and the tongue kept flicking along the underside of his shaft. Too soon, the pressure built, and he struggled to hold back the impending orgasm out of habit despite Remus's mouth damn near sucking out his soul.

"Wait-" He touched Remus's arm. "I'm about to-"

Remus released his cock, and his breath puffed over the head as he spoke. "It won't bother me if you cum in my mouth. I like that."

He wasn't supposed to make a mess. Uncle had hated it when he grew old enough to properly ejaculate and couldn't always hold it back. It had happened while being spanked because he didn't think he could finish like that in the first place.

With a blowjob, he knew it would happen, and his thoughts tangled. For fuck's sake he wanted to get off with Remus, and he was so close, so painfully aroused, he didn't see how he was supposed to wait for it to calm down. It would feel damn good to let it go and cum with Remus's lips and tongue on his shaft. Except he couldn't quite bring himself to do it.

"I want to cum-just not like that yet." He also didn't know how to explain how wrong it felt to enjoy it so much and cum in Remus's mouth. If he hadn't liked the taste, he didn't see how anyone else could.

Remus tugged him forward to sit up and kiss again. Remus took his hand, placed it around Sébastien's own cock, wrapped his hand over it, and started stroking.

Sébastien wasn't entirely sure what to think about someone helping him masturbate. Maybe he guessed Sébastien barely ever did it himself.

"Is this easier?" Remus mumbled against his lips.

Surprisingly, it was since he didn't have to worry about cumming all over someone's tongue. "Yes."

Remus's warm hand over his controlled the pace. Steady, and enough to get off soon, but not so overwhelming and new, like his mouth had been. He reached for Remus's cock, wanting to give him some of the pleasure too.

"You don't have to."

"I want to."

Remus made a noise against his neck like it was already nearly too much for him as Sébastien stroked him. On his own cock, he felt pre-cum slide down the shaft, and it grew slippy as they both jerked. Remus grew tenser against him, and his fingers tightened over Sébastien's, still controlling the pace and quickening it a little. He couldn't help the small groan as the pressure built.

"Are you going to cum for me?" Remus mumbled, and his breath tickled Sébastien's skin as he made a faint noise of assent.

He pulled his hand out from under Remus's. "Don't stop, and I will."

Remus wrapped his fingers around the Prince's cock and stroked. The point of no return drew closer, and Sébastien jerked Remus faster, wanting him to hit the same point. The constant kissing on his neck made him squeeze his eyes shut as the edge neared. It exploded, and he sucked in a breath before following the urge to bite Remus's neck. He stuttered in his rhythm and stiffened his legs in the water.

"Fuck-" Remus jerked his hips, practically fucking Sébastien's hand. "That's it."

Sébastien sank his fangs deep and tried to regain his rhythm as he twitched in the water. His cum streaked his stomach. More dribbled down the side as he tensed. Remus's other arm kept him up as he remained on his knees.

When he swore again, more cum hit Sébastien's abs. Feeling him tense and shudder, Sébastien dug his fangs, damn near overcome with the urge to bite and make him feel him. Once his orgasm was slowly ebbing, and he opened his eyes to see Remus's shoulder and back muscles flexing. The desire to bite lessened as the last few waves of pleasure trickled away, and they both stilled.

"For Elira's sake, Sébastien," Remus growled against his neck.

Sébastien had the sudden feeling he shouldn't have cum or been so open in his pleasure. He'd been biting and jerking like a damn animal rutting.

He thought Remus would go back in the water so they could get to bathing once he released Sébastien's softening cock. It was over, and that was it. Maybe Sébastien would get a hug after he cleaned himself off and didn't have his own seed all over him too.

"Come here." Remus scooped him up with his hands cupping Sébastien's ass and easily stood.

"Wait-I'm dirty."

Remus hugged him so their chests were together, and Sébastien wrapped his legs around his waist. "You're not dirty."

He didn't seem to care about the mess spread on them, although a good deal had dripped into the water. Sébastien had the sudden thought that Remus was probably strong enough to hold him up, slip his cock in, and fuck him like that.

Remus carried him back into the deeper water. Once it was chest-high, he shifted the Prince and wiped at his stomach.

"See? It comes off easy enough. You'll never be dirty to me." Remus hugged Sébastien close again and rubbed the back of his neck. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah."

He hadn't done anything wrong, and he reminded himself Remus wouldn't be angry that he'd cum. He'd liked it. That's how it was supposed to be, and Remus wouldn't leave him on the bank with the main event over, like a tool that had served its purpose.

Sébastien rested his head on Remus's shoulder and closed his eyes. The rubbing felt so good. This was also how it was supposed to be: both enjoying the limp feeling and the afterglow. Not shame that grew worse with every second. He wouldn't be left with bruises to hide tomorrow. Remus made a faint hum sound as he combed his fingers through Sébastien's damp hair.

Sébastien never thought someone's hands all over him would feel so right.