Chapter Six

Sébastien sat on the blanket, and Remus settled beside him. Whisper had wandered off down the beach near the treeline to nibble grass.

"What changed when you were fifteen?" asked Remus, and Sébastien shrugged, unable to look at him. "You're telling me that after around a year, you suddenly liked being abused?"

"Go fuck yourself." Sébastien's chest ached as he stared ahead at the ocean waves.

"You obviously didn't want to, but you initiated it, and you think you need to feel guilty?"

"You don't come onto your abuser unless you're fucked up."

"I think the answer is in the why. Why did you initiate it?"

"It doesn't fucking matter at this point."

"Yes, it does matter," insisted Remus. "I think you want a reason to blame yourself because your Uncle obviously manipulated you. You know he's in the wrong. You still seem to think you need some kind of reason to torture yourself."

Sébastien carefully drew up his good leg as he kept his gaze on the water. "If you're going to go, just do it, and don't waste time trying to make me feel better."

Remus was probably already thinking of how Sébastien could later sit in his Palace and rot. Except Remus reached over to rub his shoulder, and it felt so damn good, he couldn't quite bring himself to tell Remus to keep his fucking hands to himself.

"I'm not going away. I get the feeling you really like physical affection."

"Wow, I must be the first fairy who thinks a shoulder rub feels good."

Remus didn't stop, and Sébastien grudgingly let him since his fingers seemed to know exactly where to knead the muscles. Remus was silent for a good minute as he quietly thought before speaking.

"This is what I'm guessing from what you've said. Sweet wine was easy for you to drink. He got you drunk on it so you couldn't fight. Later, he threatened you as needed. Whatever to keep you quiet and compliant. He snared you and gave you lots of attention and affection. When you were fifteen, there came a point when he wasn't quite ready to stop, but I guess you also weren't as attractive to him since you were maturing. The affection grew less, and you weren't getting what you wanted elsewhere. You initiated sex so you'd still have the affection. And then, when everything stopped, you were left without it, and you felt abandoned. Now you blame yourself."

Sébastien's face burned. The hugs and cuddles had grown less. They'd always had a price, and he'd paid with no other choice. Mother was no longer around, he'd never get a hug from Enzo again, Remere acted like affection was for girls, and Father said he was too old to be coddled. Corentin had said Sébastien was supposed to be growing up and showing independence, but he'd give his nephew what he needed.

It hadn't mattered if he was still grieving and desperate for someone to hold him and keep him from flying to pieces. The price was there anyway. Only one source of touch remained, and when he realized it might dry up, he'd scrambled to get more out of it.

"If I'm wrong, you can say so," said Remus. "You act like you don't need touch, but I think you do want it pretty badly if it's safe. That doesn't make you disgusting. It just makes your Uncle's manipulation even worse. You didn't initiate it for the sex itself or because you wanted him like that."

"When I did, he was more affectionate later. When he was no longer interested, everything stopped. He pushed me away the last time I tried to hug him, and he hadn't touched me in days. He never did after that."

With no more physical touch and Uncle's sudden coldness in that area, he'd felt shattered like a broken glass tossed in a midden to be forgotten about. Or like a whore who's been used up and is no longer worth looking at.

"So I'm right. You're not messed up or-"

"Does a slave ask to be abused some more?"

"What slave plasters himself against the side of his owner in the dayroom? One who's hoping for some kind of reward or to at least be treated a little less horribly. It's survival. You were a captive in a different way. You weren't getting anything you needed, so you struggled for what you thought you could get. Since he treated you like you were worthless, you see yourself as that. You're not going to scare me off and punish yourself with that too. I know you're not going to suddenly forget everything or heal overnight, but please stop pushing me away or trying to make me view you like your Uncle."

Remus pulled him over so Sébastien leaned against him. His eyes stung, and he tried to think if maybe he deserved more if he could manage it. To freely have touch, hugs, and attention without a nasty price attached at any point…it almost didn't seem real even though Remus kept giving and giving with no demands to pay up.

He also never suddenly grew rough or violent. There was no slapping or grabbing his chin and neck. There was no ordering him to kneel for forgiveness while insinuating how he'd really apologize and pay later. Remus had grabbed him in the entrance hall at Arquous, but it was because any man would grow pissed if someone tried to strike him, and Sébastien had already stabbed him before.

"Maybe you'll believe it later, and you'll stop lashing out at yourself too."

"You should take a ride with a man who is easier." Not with Sébastien who owned enough baggage to break a unicorn's back. "A man you don't have to figure out."

"I don't base my riding partners on how easy they are. I've also seen enough of you inside to know that you're not a lazy monster even though your Uncle wants to paint you as such."

At court, Sébastien knew all emotions would be scrutinized, and he'd been well aware that Uncle spoke of him to others in a careful way to guide their thoughts and image of the Prince. If he pretended too much happiness, that could also be geared toward laziness. If he'd ever allowed himself to do what he sometimes wanted, and that was retreat to his rooms for days at a time so he could curl up in the dark and try to block everything out, that would have been bad too.

Uncle would have told everyone that he didn't know what to do with such a weak nephew. What was the Kingdom supposed to do with a sad King who holed up by himself for days at a time? Blah blah blah.

It also would have involved Uncle coming into his bedroom to try and drag him out, and Sébastien hated him coming in. It didn't matter that they didn't live in Arquous anymore or if Uncle wouldn't touch him sexually with a ten-foot pole.

Anger was safer. It came so easily and couldn't be forced away, so why not use the advantages it brought despite Uncle acting like a monster was about to take the throne in a few years? It was also armor so others didn't try to get too friendly or into his bed. It meant he didn't have to fear someone seeing into the shell. It had also been a way to kill that sick bastard Martin in case he ever pushed his interests too far with a teenager who had nobody to protect him. When Sébastien wasn't steaming pissed, neutrality had been safe enough when appropriate.

Even care for others was judged. He'd felt bad for the woman with the sick baby, so he'd given her a lan. That was wrong. Talking to the little girl who'd been so eager to show off her drawing had also been wrong in Uncle's eyes.

"I've told you not to interact with commoners and dirty children. You made yourself look low. The Prince kneeling for a commoner in front of everyone." Never mind that he'd made Sébastien get on his knees for worse reasons.

He'd just wanted to make her happy and bask on the edge of a child's simple joy for a minute. A joy that didn't come with a price. All she'd wanted was to show the Prince the picture she'd drawn of him. She hadn't expected anything else so he'd given her something in return for that alone. It wasn't like he would have to see her again or worry about them becoming friends, so it had been safe enough to have those couple of minutes. The picture was hidden in his trunk, and he hoped that if he ever got it back, it was still there.

"You said earlier that there's something you want to do. I didn't fully grasp that."

Sébastien pulled back so he could sit up straight and rub his face. "The problem is, I'm not sure if I'm right, and speaking to someone else about things-"

Fuck. Why did life have to be so fucking hard?

He took a deep breath. "When I was fourteen, Father and Remere wanted to go hunting that fall. We have two hunting lodges. One is older, and the other is newer and bigger. The newer one is closer to the Moria border. I refused to go because hunting can be fun, but it's not my favorite thing. The last thing I cared about was chasing after a boar. Father got pissed at me and said I was being a brat."

"Because you didn't want to go hunting?"

"Because I didn't want to join them in an activity they liked. Uncle was being extra nice to me and told Father that maybe I needed a more relaxing holiday instead of boar hunting, and Father brushed him off. Anyway, Uncle decided to take me to the older lodge near Lapinville. That area is loaded with rabbits. I couldn't say no to him."

Sébastien didn't say out loud how Uncle had seen the trip as an opportunity to abuse his nephew whenever he pleased and try a few creative things. The two weeks there had been torture since Uncle had done whatever nearly every night, sometimes in the morning, and often during the day. There hadn't been responsibilities or the need to worry about Father, Remere, or a courtier seeking them out for any reason, so if he'd felt like tying his nephew to the bed for an entire afternoon, he did.

"If we needed that lodge, we sent a note ahead so the local lord would send a few servants over to ready the place and take care of things during our stay. They'd get extra pay. Uncle said they had to go home after dinner because we wouldn't need them, and if his bedroom or the office door was ever shut, they weren't to come in for any reason or disturb him." Sébastien gripped his knee.

Remus made a sound that said he was listening and also pissed and disgusted. The reasoning for Uncle's command was clear.

"He brought a few bottles of pink wine that he'd drugged and stored them in the kitchen. He'd pretty much trained me to do whatever he said, but he liked forcing me to get aroused and drunk once in a while. One of the servants was a Rowland boy of about thirteen. I guess he felt comfortable since I looked younger, and he started talking to me the first day downstairs."

Nulio. Sébastien had thought that if things were different, they would have been friends. He'd already lost all of his old ones, so a boy close to his age simply talking to him like he was a normal person had been a little point of light in the dark. Corentin had found them, asked the boy why he wasn't doing his job, and pointed to some dirt clods on the floor by the entrance. Scared of the King's brother who was more imposing than Sébastien, Nulio had turned red and rushed to sweep.

"Don't talk to servants like equals. You can tell by the way he speaks, he likely isn't even capable of properly reading. Not once did he call you by a title either. Do you like being treated as a country bumpkin by other bumpkins who can't keep the floor clean without being told?"

"Nulio didn't come back the next day and neither did his older brother," Sébastien said after describing the short interaction. "Corentin complained about lazy servants and boys who can't stick with simple jobs. I had to sleep in his room every night. He came up while I was bathing in his privy room and demanded to know where one of the wine bottles was and acted like I'd chugged it. I said I didn't know, and why would I drink a whole bottle of wine during the day? He didn't push the matter, and I guess he assumed it was stolen."

"Did Nulio steal it?" asked Remus.

Sébastien fiddled with the button on his sleeve. "Nulio's brother was a little older than me. Young boys might be tempted to steal alcohol that looks good so they can drink in secret. Perhaps they thought they could get away with it, Corentin would think it was misplaced, and he'd yell at one of the older servants."

"They would have been drugged if so," said Remus.

"Exactly. It didn't occur to me right away, but I think they drank it and realized something was wrong. Why would the Regent bring spiked wine on a trip with his nephew? The guards that came with us went to stay at the lord's home. There was no one else except Corentin and me in that lodge once dinner was over. A man doesn't bring that kind of thing so he can masturbate in private, and if Corentin had planned for a lover to visit him at night, he would have demanded an extra room, drying sheets, snacks to be set out, or something."

"What happened then?"

"Nothing. Nulio and his brother didn't return, and nobody said anything. I'd started to hope they had figured out that it was drugged."

He'd dared to hope. What a mistake. In his mind, the two servants would tell the lord who'd figure out what was happening, come with his guards, bust into the lodge before Uncle could grind more filth into his soul, and kill him. They'd also tell Father and make him magically caring. Afterward, Father would hug Sébastien without being asked and take away all the hurt.

After a few days, he'd been bent over the desk in the small office with Corentin's hand in a chokingly tight grip around his throat to keep him silent. Through the fog of quiet panic and Uncle's heavy breathing near his ear, Sébastien realized no one was ever coming to save him. What a foolish wish. He never dared to hope after that.

Sébastien managed to keep his voice steady. "If we had your army right now, and we went over there, we could fight and win. I'd string Corentin up and watch him choke to death on a long rope. I could explain he's been trying to kill me and lay out the facts so everyone would see there's a solid reason to sentence him to death. My rule might still go all right even if doubters exist."

"You'd have me," said Remus. "I'm not your slave, and I was never exactly what you'd call truly subservient. It's not like you beat me into submission, and I'll now say whatever because you told me to. I could vouch for you. I saw you poisoned firsthand-"

"I know, but there may be doubters, and it's true that I'm an angry person. What if I'm like Quintus? Hm? What if I decided I wanted the throne now and set up an elaborate story to tear down the Regent?"

"If he worked with Quintus, there may be proof, and that could count as something."

"Quintus might be smart enough to have destroyed everything and keep quiet."

"Maybe not. Quintus isn't stupid, but he also wasn't specifically raised to rule. I was. Many know treason took place that night. Don't discount everything yet."

"Corentin could say I came onto him and smear me." Sébastien rested his chin in his hand. "To help my case, I was thinking of finding Nulio. At the time, he lived at the lord's home in Lapinville, and the job was because he and his brother were trying to help their family. Their winery outside of Norraco burned down due to an accident, and while they had all lived, they'd been reduced to poverty. Nulio said his Grandparents were ill, and with the medicine, trying to rebuild the winery…A cousin in Soleil got the brothers the job so they could save their wages. Nulio said the trip had been daunting, but it was the first opportunity to come up, so they'd grabbed it and left home. He told me before Corentin found us."

"I know what you're talking about," said Remus. "Blushing Grapes. They were suffering before the fire because another winery accused them of having bugs and rats. They were doing better before I was betrayed. I never went there, so I can't say if Nulio is there. I imagine he is."

"If I asked Nulio, and he told the truth, that's proof. It would also mean I'd have to admit that my Uncle touched me, and…"

"The people would be far more likely to side with you. You were under eighteen, it was family, and rape isn't permitted for royalty. Even if he says you initiated it and portrays you as a bad guy, he won't look any better."

"That would smear my name."

"No decent adult would say yes to a child. Especially when it's incest."

He had a point there. "It terrifies me. If for some reason, that one bottle of wine was somehow misplaced or lost, then Nulio suspected nothing. Maybe they hated the job and decided to return to Rowland and work closer to home. I don't want to go to someone and..." Sébastien lay back on the blanket to stare at the sky. "This isn't something I tell people."

"From what you said, I think he did know, or perhaps his older brother figured it out. Maybe someone else will come forward too if you speak out." Remus took his hand. "Corentin never married, and you might not have been the first."

Sébastien greatly suspected that, although he'd never heard of anything. Corentin had gone on trips before by himself, so who knew what he'd done? However the Regent had gotten his kicks before, he'd been careful. "Or the last."

"If you want to do this, I'll go with you." Remus lay next to him, not quite touching, and he lifted their clasped hands. "You won't be alone, and I'll be someone else to confirm things that I've seen. We can go before the werewolves and get it over with if you want. Ask him if he took a bottle of wine. If he says no and seems genuine, you don't have to speak further."

Sébastien's heart pounded. "All right."

***

Thank Elira for the ample money Sébastien had in his belt. They certainly couldn't retire elsewhere, change their names, and live easily, but it meant they could have some basic things.

Sébastien's leg felt better the next day, although Remus said not to push it. Whisper carried them into Maxo around noon. They tried to look like humble travelers who happened to have a nice unicorn. Lucky them. Remus grabbed some supplies from a general shop and said they should take advantage of an inn to let Sébastien's leg rest a little more.

The best room at a local inn had an attached privy area behind the screen. Sébastien bathed first and redid the bandage. Remus, who had left to give him privacy, said it might be best if Sébastien remained and sat on the bed instead of standing around in the hall even though his thigh could handle weight. It was better to not push it. A screen blocked off the privy section of the room, so Sébastien agreed and lounged on his bed.

The idea of Remus naked, wet, and only a few away was doing things to him. Bad things. He'd often tried to pretend sexual feelings didn't exist, but he pictured himself in the tub with Remus. He also kept remembering him naked by the beach.

That had an effect on his nether regions to say the least.

"Any chance you can trim hair?" asked Remus.

"If I put a bowl on your head." Sébastien didn't know shit about trimming hair.

Remus paused. "Ahh. I'll pass. It's a bit shaggier than I'd like, but I'll live. I don't want to go to a barber and spend that much time with someone looking at my features."

"I'd advise against that too."

What if Sébastien tried asking him for something more? He'd poured out more than ever the day before, and Remus still treated him the same. A part of Sébastien had trouble comprehending that.

His heart pounded because he knew what he wanted, and while he'd spoiled things for himself before, maybe he wouldn't this time. He'd spent more time with Remus since the ship cabin. Even that night, he'd shocked himself by getting into the bed and asking to be spanked.

"Remus."

"What?"

The spanking had rather relaxed him in a different way that he didn't know how to explain, and honestly, he felt like he needed it. Remus enjoyed giving spankings too.

"If I asked, would you be open to doing something?"

"No."

Sébastien's face grew hot. He was disgusting to Remus. He should have known anyone would think he was, and all that talk yesterday was just that: talk. So much for a ride later, although Sébastien hadn't actually said yes or no to that.

"You just told me stuff yesterday-" started Remus.

Fuck.

"Really private shit that I know you're still struggling with every day. We are not fucking just because you probably think you have to give me sex to keep me around or whatever. That's not how this works."

Oh.

"I'll rub your shoulders if you want, but I think fucking you less than twenty-four hours after you talked about painful memories would be taking advantage."

"I wasn't asking to fuck," said Sébastien. "Or suck."

"Er, I thought you thought that you should or…I'll shut my face."

"I want to try spanking again," Sébastien forced out. "Just that. Nothing else."

The watery noises from the tub paused, and he could practically hear Remus's thoughts clicking in his head: Yes. Yes. Yes. Fuck yes. Wait. What if it's a bad idea?

"Do you feel like you owe me? Is this to keep me around or pay some kind of price you have in your head that you think I expect?"

"No." Sébastien swallowed. "I liked it when you did it. It was relaxing and exciting. I've read naughty books before, so I have some idea of what I like. It's something I've never done with anyone else. You liked spanking me."

Water sloshed in the tub, and he assumed Remus was standing to dry off. "Are you going to tell me to stop if you want to stop?"

"Yes."

"Is there any reason in particular that you want this?"

Because the idea of it made Sébastien's cock threaten to get hard. "Can't I have a kink?"

"I'm checking. If you want to do this, no is kind of hard for you. I think a proper safe word would be better. Pick a word that's easy to remember, and if you say no, stop, or that word, I'll immediately stop."

"I guess red?" Sébastien had heard of red being used before.

Remus came out from behind the divider once he was dressed. "I don't know when you want it."

"Now." Sébastien, sitting against the headboard of his narrow bed, was already at half-mast. Why wait until later?

"How do you want it?"

Side by side on the bed had been easier for his first time, but honestly, his fantasy, helped by the books he'd been secretly reading at thirteen, had involved a big, muscled man bending him over his knee, taking down his trousers, and making him feel like the naughty submissive in the book. The belt had also seemed exciting, not that he was about to go that far yet. A hand was more than enough.

"Over your knee with my trousers pulled down. Not all of the way, but enough to do the job."

Remus raised his eyebrows. "Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"I could put the pillow on my lap and have you over it so there's a barrier between us. I don't want to overwhelm you, and straight over my knee would be more contact than you're used to."

"All right."

"Get up." Remus went across to his bed.

Sébastien's heart picked up as he stood. Remus turned to him and gently cupped his face to give him a light kiss.

"There will be nothing else besides this. No handjobs, blowjobs, or anything else. You can also end it at any time, and if your leg hurts from the position, tell me."

"I will."

"Undo your belt and loosen your trousers."

Sébastien fumbled with his belt as Remus sat and put his pillow over his lap. Since he was sitting far enough back, Sébastien would be able to rest his legs and upper body on the bed itself. Once he'd undone a couple of buttons to loosen the waist enough, he didn't expect Remus to take his arm and push him down over the pillow as if he'd naughty and was getting his rear beaten whether he liked it or not. Pure excitement further stiffened his cock.

"Get comfortable."

He'd heard that commanding tone before when Remus had been training soldiers. It made them pay attention, and Sébastien shifted a little and gripped the blanket. When Remus tugged his trousers down enough to reveal his ass, his cock was like a post.

He still almost couldn't believe he was doing this. Remus ran a finger over his upper ass.

"The tattoos do stretch down." Remus rubbed his cheeks. "You're beautiful."

Sébastien wasn't used to hearing that. Or at least not without a sexual comment following. The first couple of smacks were barely there, and he assumed Remus was giving him time to back out. The next few were more of what he'd expect from a warmup.

"What's your word if you need it?"

"Red." Sébastien was pretty sure his face was red.

Remus kept up a steady, light pace, and Sébastien let his body ease more into the pillow and bed. Even though he was hard, the rhythm was surprisingly relaxing. Remus paused to rub his ass and lower back. Sébastien let out a little sigh and twitched when the next smack had more of a sting to it.

It was what Remus had done before. His ass was likely pinkening. It was warm, and the spanking grew a little forceful.

"You're getting some color." Remus smoothed his palm around. "Are you still okay?"

"Mhm." He was more than okay.

"I expect a proper answer when your trousers are down and you're over my knee."

Dear fucking Elira. Sébastien was pretty sure he'd just leaked pre-cum at the tone and words, and he couldn't quite help moving his hips.

"Yes."

The next strikes packed enough force that Sébastien was pretty sure his ass would be turning red soon. It only excited him more, and since Remus lost the pattern and seemed to be picking at random, he wasn't sure what to expect. Left cheek. Right. Right again. Both. The lack of rhythm made it even better.

He'd never been so painfully aroused. He'd never done anything that truly made him want it so badly either, and the slight movement from each spank made his erect cock rub inside of his drawers and trousers while pushing it against the pillow. If he gripped himself and jerked, it probably wouldn't take long for him to get off. The tip was wet and dripping, and he pressed the back of his hand against his mouth to cover a faint moan.

"Still alright?" Remus gripped one cheek.

"Don't stop," mumbled Sébastien, jerking his hips against the pillow.

"Remember, I expect proper answers. Are you still okay?"

"Yes!"

"What do you want?"

"Spank me. Please." He hadn't quite been able to prevent the words from coming out in nearly a whine.

The rest of the world and his problems might as well have not existed. Remus, the delicious heat on his arse, the smacking sound, and his cock rubbing against the pillow was all there was. And the blanket he was white-knuckle clutching. The stinging heat made the friction more intense, and he was pretty sure he'd need a couple of minutes of privacy because he didn't see how he was going to deal with such an erection by ignoring it.

His balls tightened not that it meant anything. He'd need firmer stimulation than some rubbing on one side. He wanted to groan, curse, and bite as the two sensations demanded all of his attention, and he settled for biting down on the blanket instead. It wasn't nearly as good as when he'd let his fangs sink into Remus's neck. His balls were so tight and-

It was like it all suddenly snapped. Despite the lack of a firm grip on his cock, the orgasm burst, and he jerked his hips as he frantically humped, seeking every bit of friction he could possibly have.

"Don't stop!" he practically screamed through the blanket in his mouth. The garbled words must have made enough sense since Remus continued and gave him a few harder smacks.

It was tension, stinging, and pure ecstasy at once as he pretty much fucked the pillow and came in his drawers and trousers. He had the urge to bite again, so he bit down harder on the blanket, made a sound like a half-scream, and allowed the sensation to shiver through him in waves.

He jerked as it started to ebb, and one last swat came from Remus. Sébastien went limp over his lap, and Remus rubbed his hot asscheeks to soothe the sting.

"Are you done? Did you have enough?"

Sébastien had to pull his fangs from the blanket and make an effort to get the word out. "Y-yes."

Remus gently pulled his trousers up, and shifted him. "Stand up for a second."

Sébastien's legs shook as he stood and held the waist. The cum was warm and wet in his drawers. For a second, he almost expected Remus to appear disgusted or tell him to not do that because cumming so much and loudly wasn't permitted.

None of that was in Remus's face as he moved the pillow. "Do you want to clean up or lay down?"

"Lay." Sébastien didn't think he had the strength to do anything. There was something different about an orgasm where he hadn't been trying to hold back while doing whatever to please the other. Or simply jerking off in privacy to make the urge go away.

"Your eyes are hazy." Remus drew him close on the bed to hold him against his chest. "I wasn't expecting you to cum."

"I didn't think I could do that."

"Have you taken care of yourself in a while?"

"No." Sébastien hadn't cum since before Remus arrived at the Palace.

"That might be partially why."

He realized the main thing that was different: the typical, deep shame he was used to wasn't there.

Remus stroked his hair, and Sébastien was pretty sure he could melt into the bed and sleep for days if allowed. Quite frankly, he didn't give much shit about anything, and the loose feeling in his body was amazing. He breathed in Remus's rose smell and pushed his face into his chest.

"Actually, I like this part better than spanking you, or feeling you cum."

"Mhm?"

"I like feeling you so relaxed against me." Remus rubbed his scalp.

The little tingles were even better than the other night.