Chapter Twelve

CHAPTER TWELVE

IT TOOK SEVERAL hours, but Jack did eventually try to call Donna that night, a couple of times. She sent both calls to voicemail and sank lower into her bubble bath. She'd listen to the messages later.

She replied to multiple texts from her family asking how opening night had gone and promising to come as soon as they were authorized. She responded to Amelia, promising to fill her in more fully in the morning.

And just as she was about to put her phone down to wash her hair, she got an email alert.

Donna—

I have to thank you for helping tonight, and for being a friend to Jack during our break. You don't need to be worried about me. The water really helped, and I'm back on my feet. Just got a little lightheaded is all. Jack was an angel to me, as always.

I think it's so important for all of us in the production to support each other, and I was planning to just watch you guys from the sidelines. But Jack saw me and waved me over, which was such a surprise. I can't believe he showed up on the wrong opening night! But it's a good thing he did, because I don't know what I would have done without him.

You and Amelia should come tomorrow night to return the favor. I think Jack will be there too, just in case I need him. I think I'm fine now, but he's just so concerned. He's going to be the BEST Dad.

Hugs,

Trynn

First of all, Donna wasn't worried about her in the least. Secondly, did Trynn really think a divorce counted as being "on a break"? And thirdly, she didn't believe Trynn's version of events for one second. There's no way Jack waved her over to sit by him. And was that last line a passive-aggressive pregnancy announcement? Donna tried to ignore the pit in her stomach.

She now wished she knew more about Jack's thoughts about his failed marriage. It seemed like an uncomfortable subject, so Donna hadn't pursued it, and he'd been in no hurry to divulge anything. But maybe she'd been misreading the reasons for his discomfort around the topic. Maybe he wasn't feeling betrayed and angry, as she'd assumed. Maybe he was heartbroken and hoping Trynn would change her ways and return to him. Donna had no idea.

Trynn's position, on the other hand, was abundantly clear. And did Donna really want to get involved with a man whose ex was so clearly not ready to let him go? To the point where she may or may not have fake fainted in public just to stir up his sympathy? It seemed a little psycho, and did Donna really need any more drama in her life? (Besides the kind she was trained for?)

Yes, Jack had stirred up a lot of feelings in Donna. She couldn't deny it. And she was grateful. Because at least she'd glimpsed the level of connection that was possible for her. In the future, she wouldn't settle for less. But there wasn't going to be a future with Jack. Donna didn't have it in her to try to compete with someone like Trynn. Especially if there was going to be a baby in the picture.

At the cafe the next day, Donna opted for a completely different vibe to break out of her funk. She needed to embody someone perky and upbeat. And Phoebe from Friends was just the ticket. Too bad she and Betty weren't the same size, because just about anything from her sister's Bohemian wardrobe would have been perfect for a Phoebe costume.

Although Donna did her best with what was available from the warehouse, very few customers figured out who she was from her outfit alone. But they caught on once she started talking. Donna's Phoebe impersonation was spot-on, especially the mannerisms. A couple of men playfully asked if she offered massages on the side, several started singing "Smelly Cat" to her, and one customer called her by Phoebe's fake name, "Regina Phalange." Donna had to have that one explained, which she hoped didn't affect her tip. She hadn't memorized every episode, after all.

All in all, it turned out to be an effective distraction from her muddled thoughts about Jack and Trynn. By the end of her shift, she had almost absorbed some of Phoebe's cheerful optimism. And she really needed to, since she'd spent the day serving alongside Napoleon Dynamite, who said everything with his eyes half closed and his mouth hanging open, and Edward Scissorhands, who barely said anything at all.

Just 10 minutes before closing, the front door chimed, and Donna did rock-paper-scissors with Napoleon and Edward (minus the actual scissors on the hands, of course). After Napoleon lost ("Gosh!") he abruptly ran up front in his moon boots, holding his arms stiff against his sides, only to return a few minutes later.

"He pretty much wants Phoebe," Napoleon muttered, followed by an awkward fist pump and a "Yes!" uttered through his closed teeth. He hadn't fallen out of character once all day. Impressive.

"Me? Ugh."

Edward, with his eyes wide and unblinking and his mouth pursed, nudged her around the corner into the dining room.

There, standing just inside the wall of windows with an armful of roses, was Jack. The same roses from last night, only slightly worse for wear.

Donna's heart instantly lifted, and hope started to bloom on her face, but she willed it back down.

"You forgot something," he said with a hesitant smile, reaching the roses out toward her.

That magnetic force pulled her toward him without her being aware of moving her feet. She took the roses from him.

"Thanks," she said.

They stared at each other.

"I know you're almost closed, but table for…two?"

"Sure," she shrugged, showing him to her favorite booth, the one in the corner with the view all the way down the historic main street.

"Sit with me?" he asked.

"Do you want a menu?"

"Can you just bring us something? Whatever is easy."

"Of course. How hungry are you?"

"Very. Just finished a 10-hour shift."

She hadn't realized he'd been scheduled to work after their almost date last night.

Donna quickly consulted with Napoleon and Edward, promising to finish the closing checklist on her own if they'd take care of the two remaining tables. They sent the cooks home.

Napoleon stared at her, slack-jawed, and gave her a fist bump. Edward raised his eyebrows and didn't say a word.

Donna returned to Jack and slid into the seat across from him in the U-shaped booth.

"Sorry to keep you after hours," Jack said. "It seems you're always closed by the time I'm done signing out my patients."

Donna thought she'd seen him stroll past the windows a couple times. That explained that.

"How was your shift?" she asked

"Fine. I was anxious to talk to you the whole time. I did try to call."

"I know."

She didn't want to admit that she hadn't listened to the voicemails. It made her feel petty.

"I know it doesn't make up for me disappearing," he said. "But I am really sorry. And I understand why you'd rather avoid me."

"Apology accepted," she said. "And I'm sorry I bolted. I just didn't want to hang around while you hovered over your ex-wife."

He cringed.

"Well, when you put it like that, it sounds even worse."

"I mean, she did have a genuine medical emergency," Donna said, then paused. "Didn't she?"

"Yes, she did. But it's understandable why you wouldn't be sure."

Donna waved at Edward and Napoleon as they locked the front door and disappeared into the back, heading toward the employee entrance.

"And I'm sure you're obligated to help," she said.

"Of course," he said. "Even if it's my ex-wife."

"I didn't mean it like that. I know you're the kind of person who would help anyone."

"It's okay. I know what you meant."

"And she's okay now?"

He shrugged and wiggled his hand in the so-so hand gesture.

"She has a pretty serious eating disorder that she refuses to get treatment for," he said.

"Oh!" Donna said. "Sorry to hear that. I didn't mean to pry. Did I just make you violate HIPAA?"

"No, I never was her treating physician," he smiled. "Just my observations from living with her. And it explains why I felt like I had to stick around last night. It was the best opportunity I've had to convince her to try to get some help."

His prior compliments about her willingness to eat in front of him suddenly made more sense.

"That is kind of you, considering…everything," Donna said.

"So you know what happened then?"

"I think so? A friend of a friend worked on Drama Club , so the story did make its way back to me."

"You've probably got the gist of it," he said, running his fingers through his hair. "I'm glad I don't have to tell you. I hate reliving it."

Donna had a flash of a memory of standing behind him in the cafeteria line the day Hudson was born. That had to be right around the time the affair was discovered. No wonder he looked so lost and defeated. She couldn't imagine the depth of that betrayal.

"I don't blame you," Donna said.

"She really wishes I'd forgive her and get back together. Which, yes on the first. She's forgiven. She might have even done me a favor. Not a chance in hell on the second."

Donna laughed in relief. He was not pulling any punches.

"Yeah, she's not being subtle about what she wants," Donna said.

"She thought I went to opening night to try to make her jealous," he said with a roll of his eyes. "I honestly didn't think she'd be there. She's generally not very interested in other people's big nights."

"That sounds about right."

"I mean, one minute I'm watching you praying over everyone in the beauty salon, and the next minute Trynn is next to me, whispering in my ear."

"She told me you saw her and waved her over."

"Hardly," he laughed. "Wait, you've talked to her?"

"She emailed me."

"Emailed you? Why?"

"Oh, you know. To tell me that you two are just on a break, that you'd really meant to go to her opening night instead. And to make sure I knew how very concerned you are about her wellbeing. And drop a hint that she might be pregnant."

"I'm surprised she mentioned that."

"So it's true?" Donna's heart sank into the vinyl seat.

Damn. Damn. Damn.

"I'm afraid it is, which is another reason I was so long last night. Again, not a HIPAA violation, since I'm not her doctor. Plus, she basically told you herself."

"So what are you going to do?" she couldn't hide the dread in her voice.

He looked at her sharply.

"Oh! It's not mine," his whole body sighed to show his overwhelming relief. "According to my extensive training on the human reproductive system and the average length of gestation, there is zero chance that I am the father."

Donna's whole body probably showed her own relief.

"And I respectfully declined her request to do the ‘noble' thing and raise her married former boss's child as if it were my own. But I do sincerely wish her luck in getting the child support she deserves from her partner in crime. And I'm glad she has her parents to lean on."

"The Wegfahrts?"

"You love saying that."

"I do."

Then it hit her, the weight of everything he had just told her.

"As much as she irritates me," Donna said. "I do feel sorry for her. I know she's responsible for all of the decisions that led her to this point. But it's sad to see. And I can't believe she thought you'd go for that insane plan!"

"She lives in a fantasy of her own making. Always has. It took me a ridiculously long time to see it. I wish I could say it's just because I was young. But I was also stupid. And very distracted."

"And she's very beautiful."

"Too beautiful for her own good. And mine."

Ouch, that stung a little, even though it shouldn't. There was clearly no part of him that was still pining over her. But she didn't like the thought of being compared to her, eating disorder and all.

"As much as I'd love to get off this topic as soon as possible," Jack said. "I have to say that I hate how she showed up and ruined your night. You were amazing. You deserved for the whole night to be about you."

Wow, how lovely. As a middle child, Donna wasn't used to anything being all about her.

"It was nice of you to come," Donna said.

"I'd come every night if I could."

"No you wouldn't."

"I would," he insisted.

"But I thought you weren't that into the theater."

"I'm not into non-stop pressure campaigns to go to the theater," he laughed. "When I choose to go on my own terms, I really enjoy it."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Donna said, feigning innocence. "I've never known Trynn to be bossy and controlling."

"You have no idea," he laughed. "And it just so happens that when I suspect someone's trying to control me, it triggers my rebellious streak. Bit of a personality flaw, but at least now you've been warned."

"I'll try not to take that as a challenge," Donna said.

They stared at each other in silence.

"Okay, I have to ask," Donna blurted. "Now that I know you a little better, you and Trynn just…don't make sense to me. Is it okay for me to ask how the heck that even happened?"

"Here's the short version," he sighed. "Our second year of college, my roommate started hanging out with her roommate, and we often tagged along. Trinity was different back then, she seemed kind of lost and insecure. I felt a little bit protective of her, actually. Eventually, we started going out too. Mostly because she was always just…there. And then we never stopped, which is obviously not a good enough reason to get married."

"Relationships must be hard in medical school."

"They're non-existent for a lot of people. In hindsight, the only reason ours lasted as long as it did is because I wouldn't let myself look at it too closely. I didn't have the time, and I was avoiding the hassle of breaking up. Which is also not a good enough reason to get married."

"Makes sense," Donna said. "Thanks for telling me."

"There's obviously more to the story, and I'll tell you the rest sometime. But I can say I learned a lot about myself and what I really want. And if she'd be honest with herself, she'd realize she doesn't want me either, not really. People who are happy with their spouses don't have affairs."

"It must have been awful."

"You wanna know what's truly awful? I was a little bit relieved when I found out, you know after the sting of betrayal died down. But it made my decision crystal clear, and it gave me the nudge I needed to do what I should have done all along."

Donna felt her heart lift.

"And I do feel bad about that, by the way," Jack continued. "We weren't a good match. I knew it all along. And I just followed the path of least resistance rather than do the hard but the right thing much earlier."

"But you must have loved her, at least a little?"

"I had feelings for her, for sure. She was my first…everything. But in the last couple of years, I've seen what real love looks like, over and over again. I've seen people collapse in relief when they arrive at the ER and see that their loved ones are okay. I've been hugged in such extreme gratitude when we've been able to save someone. And I've seen the flip side too. The agony I've seen from a spouse after we lot a patient—it's a mirror image of the depth of their love. It's holy to witness. Sanctifying. And terrifying, too. But what's the alternative? A love so shallow that losing them is no big deal?"

"I want terrifying love," Donna said. "Otherwise, what's the point?"

"I feel the same," he said.

"It's not like there's a pain-free option anyway," she said. "Even if you close your heart off completely, you'll just get hurt in a different way, as your heart wastes away, little by little."

"How'd you get so wise?"

"The theater," Donna said in her best British accent, with a flourish of her hand.

He laughed.

"And well, all these years I've spent in the shallow end of the pool, while everyone I know is diving into the deep end." And as the words came out of her mouth, Donna realized how true they were.

"Why not dive in yourself?"

"I don't know. What if I can't swim?"

"I could teach you."

"You could?"

"I'd like to try."

"I'd like that too."

They smiled at each other, twin bonfires burning in their eyes.

Without realizing it, she'd already waded in deeper than she ever had before. She was treading water, heart racing, as the solid ground receded beneath her.

Quick, she needed a safe subject.

"So, you said you're hungry. What sounds good?"

"Isn't the kitchen closed?"

"Well, the cooks are gone, but I know where everything is. We can make whatever we want."

His eyes lit up and she led him back to the kitchen to rummage around, only barely able to focus on the task at hand.

In the end, they settled on BLTs on sourdough, potato salad made fresh that morning, assorted fresh melon chunks, cranberry-white chocolate cookies, and chamomile tea. She showed him how to balance everything on a serving tray and spotted him all the way to the table.

"Well done," she said as they unloaded the tray. "If you ever need another career to fall back on, I can vouch for you."

"Just don't make me do it in costume," he said. "Wait, who are you supposed to be today?"

"Phoebe Buffay."

"Who?"

"Don't tell me you've never watched Friends ."

"Oh, the one with those Chester and Jimmy guys or whoever?"

Oh boy, she had so much work to do.

"Chandler and Joey," she laughed. "You were probably way too smart to watch tv."

"Nah, I was just more of a Seinfeld guy."

Donna snapped her fingers.

"That's one I haven't thought of! I could come to work as Elaine one day."

"I have to see that," he said, taking a bite of his BLT. "No guarantee I'll be able to keep my hands off you though."

"Deal," she teased through a mouthful of melon, and his eyes seemed to spark in response to her flirting. The intensity of their eye contact sent a delicious heat spiraling through her midsection.

"So Elaine, huh? The gentleman prefers brunettes?" Donna said and immediately wanted to take her words back when she pictured Trynn's dark tresses. Come to think of it, Trynn was petite like Elaine too.

"Lately I'm into blondes," Jack said with a wink that somehow didn't seem smarmy, coming from him. Some guys could not pull off a wink. Jack Gentry could.

"I just always thought she was so cute, even as a kid watching with my parents," he added.

There was that word again.

"Cute? I thought most guys were into ‘beautiful,' or ‘hot', or 'sexy.' Not merely ‘cute.'"

"Not me. I love cute. Cute is my favorite."

"Really?" she leaned forward. "You think cute is better than beautiful?"

"Oh, absolutely. One hundred percent. Every day of the week."

"Okay then, define ‘cute.'"

"Well, to me, ‘cute' is attractive but also fun. Cute doesn't take itself too seriously. You want to cuddle with cute. Laugh with cute. You never get sick of cute. Cute can be silly and even a little dorky sometimes, in an adorable way. Beautiful, on the other hand, puts itself on a pedestal. It's all about being admired and appreciated, but kind of from a distance."

"Interesting," Donna said. "I think I'd rather be cute then."

"Oh, you are," he said. "The cutest."

She grinned in embarrassment.

"Sorry, I wasn't fishing for a compliment," she said.

"I know. If you were, I would have been physically unable to offer you one."

"You rebel, you."

"I'm going to regret telling you about my rebellious streak."

"You probably will."

His grin warmed Donna like the sun. She wanted to capture it in a bottle and carry it around in her pocket.

He scooted an inch toward her.

She scooted an inch toward him.

Then two inches.

Then three.

Then their pinkie fingers brushed against each other. He lifted his and hooked it around hers. Her heart swelled. She could tell from the catch in his breath that his probably did too.

The sun sank further in the horizon, bathing the cafe in golden light. The cafe was silent apart from the hum of the refrigerators and the muffled sounds of traffic outside.

"So what now?" she asked.

"I didn't really think beyond getting here, to be honest."

"That doesn't sound like you."

"It's something new I'm trying. Listening to my heart instead of my head."

"And what is it saying?"

"It's terrified."

"Perfect. Mine is too."

Sitting in the booth in the empty cafe, pinkies still intertwined, he leaned over and kissed her.

This kiss felt different.

Because Donna let herself believe in this kiss.

He'd told her every way he could—in words and in actions—that there was something drawing him to her. In fact, he'd been drawn to many different versions of her, without knowing it. That should tell her something. And she'd felt it too, from that very first electric kiss on the cheek. Who cares if he couldn't explain it? She couldn't either.

Some things didn't need to be explained.

They just needed to be experienced.

And Donna Mary Gable was ready to experience it all.

"Wow," he said when he finally broke away.

She smiled against his lips.

"Wow yourself," she said back.

After being a bridesmaid in four weddings in four years, love was finally in the air for Donna Mary Gable. The middle child. The loud one. The fun one. The blonde one. The curvy one. And as Dr. Jack Gentry loved to remind her, the cute one.

Coming from him, that was a label she could definitely live with.