Capitulum XVI

A hand covered my mouth, muffling my scream before it could form properly. The familiar scent didn't even register until I was halfway across the stable area. It relaxed me only a little because it wasn't entirely good news.

As we passed school officials holding lanterns flanked by the Thylacines, I stayed silent. Kazak and Malak's heads followed us, their snouts twitching. But they didn't even break stride before returning their attention ahead.

I scanned the space for Rigel, but Professor Faun's grip on my face limited my range of motion. I expected him to carry me to the Iudex dorm, but instead, he looped behind the cathedral.

When I mumbled a question through his fingers, he hushed me as we walked through the darkness. He had to support most of my weight since my foot wasn't attached.

Oh shit. My foot .

I could feel my cane clicking against me in his arms but not the foot.

My stomach dropped. It wouldn't matter he'd swooped in to save me if they found my limb at the scene of the crime.

An outbuilding came into view. I'd never registered its existence since it was tucked so far away from the rest of campus.

He shoved my cane into my hand and pushed me inside before slipping in after me. It was pitch black, and I reached out for something to balance on while Professor Faun searched for a light. My hand landed on a cold human shoulder, and I lurched away, only managing a surprised wheeze as I scrambled across the cold floor.

A warm light flickered on in the corner, and I found Professor Faun setting a lantern on a hook protruding from the wall. I was about to warn him about the other trespasser, but when I flipped around, I discovered a dummy hanging from the ceiling.

"What the hell is this?" I asked.

"Storage," he explained, nodding toward a spare desk in the corner.

I limped over to it, pushing myself up onto the table top. "Is there a reason you didn't take me back to my room?"

I didn't even have to see his face to know he was angry. Without looking at me, he stooped in front of the dummy and twisted its foot until it came off with a loud pop.

"You needed a temporary foot," he said coolly. "This is just going to have to work for now."

"What if they find the real one?" I asked, tipping my head to see if he would meet my eye.

"Then, you better start crafting your lie now."

When I tried to kick him playfully in the shin, his face remained unmoved as he kneeled before me.

He took a steadying breath. "Do I want to know what you were doing tonight?"

"Probably not."

He rolled up the cuff of my pant leg, making all the hairs on my legs stand on end. "Is there anything I will be able to do to convince you to stop acting like a child?"

"Easy there, Professor. Are you sure you want to call me that?"

"Agnes, this is serious."

"I know it is, which is why I won't let you people push everything under the rug. This school acts like it cares about us, but the second anything happens, the only thing they do is scramble to cover it up."

"This isn't Earth, Agnes. There is nothing in place to save you if you screw up. It's up to you to take care of yourself."

I scoffed.

"Well, that doesn't mean I need to stick my head in the sand and just let people get kidnapped."

"Why are you suddenly so concerned with Lindy? I wasn't aware that you two were close."

"You think I'm the type of person to only care about people I like?"

"I think you're reasonable enough not to take the risks you have for someone you were indifferent toward." His eyes flicked up, and he stared at me from under his lashes as his hands continued to move against my leg. "Though, I must admit, reasonable is an adjective I'm struggling to attribute to you these days."

"What are you trying to say?"

His hands stilled, fingers hovering maddeningly over my skin.

"Is it for him?"

In shock, I barked out a laugh. "Are you jealous, Faun?"

"Do not call me Faun." His voice was dagger sharp. I subconsciously leaned away from him, but his fingers tightened around my leg. When he spoke again, he was straining to keep his voice neutral. "You can't get used to calling me by only my name."

I shook my head in bewilderment. "Fine. Are you jealous, Professor ?"

"I just want to understand your motives."

"He's my friend."

"That man is no friend to you," he scoffed. "Do you think he would bother with you if you didn't have something to offer him?"

"He's not forcing me to do anything."

"He doesn't have to."

"F — Professor, I don't have anyone else."

"Do you think that your isolation doesn't directly benefit him? Did it never occur to you that he's done this on purpose?"

I shook my head. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"Then, what is it that indebts you to his whims so much? That makes you so willing to throw everything away for an errand that would only benefit him?"

"I'm not . . ."

"I care about you so much I can barely think about anything else, yet you're willing to disregard everything I say just for him."

"He's the only one who understands," I sighed, realizing I had no choice but to tell him. "He's the only one who knows ."

Based on his wilting expression, I didn't need to elaborate. He slumped forward, forehead coming to rest against my knee.

"I had to know," I whispered after the long draw of silence between us.

His head whipped up, strands of hair flopping lazily around his eyes. "Do you feel better? Have things improved? Or have you isolated yourself from your only friends and begun engaging in self-destructive behaviors?"

"You know very well why what happened to Lindy would matter to me."

"So, I take it she's read her history as well?"

"Yes, and then something from this campus hurt her, and you're all covering it up."

He pressed his lips to my knee. "Why didn't you listen to me? Your life here was good. Why wasn't it enough for you?"

In a way, I understood what he meant. I didn't exactly feel better for knowing the truth but, in fact, worse.

"Being ignorant wasn't exactly a walk in the park."

He sighed, and my stomach twisted with the realization that I'd disappointed him.

"So, this is how he got you," he whispered, as if to himself.

"He didn't get me." I rolled my eyes. "I'm sorry to tell you, but you're allowing jealousy to cloud your judgment."

He shook his head, looking up at me from under his lashes. "There are things you don't know about him, Agnes."

"Yes, yes, I get it. He's a self-serving asshole. I'm not completely up my own ass."

"Then, please, enlighten me. What is the appeal?" He waited a few seconds for my response. "Is this some kind of strange maternal drive? You have to take care of someone because your daughter—?"

"Don't you dare." I put up a hand to stop him. "And for your information, I like him because he treats me like I have a brain, which is more than you can say."

"I'm sorry I've made you feel that way," he amended quickly, shaking his head. "Regardless of your reason, Agnes, you don't know who you're dealing with."

I snorted in disbelief, saying, "I think I know him a little better than you do."

"That is true," he said, words strained. "I suppose I haven't kissed him."

"That's not what I mean, and you know it." I rolled my eyes. "I was obviously just trying to piss you off. He didn't even care."

He laughed, the sound rough and cold. "He seemed to care when I found you tonight."

"Give me a break."

"I guess I'm not surprised. That's just something else he can use to indebt you to him. It's the logical next step."

"It's not like that!"

"Then, what is it like, Agnes? You weren't exactly running away from him."

Anger swelled in my chest. Gritting my teeth, I knotted my fingers into the collar of his shirt and yanked up until we were nose to nose.

"First of all, Professor, you do not own me. If I had the genuine urge to fuck anyone on this side of hell, it would be none of your fucking business. Especially since you had no qualms about doing so yourself at the first possible opportunity."

His hands shot to my waist, pulling me against him. My legs shifted to either side of his ribs as he brought me against his chest.

"You genuinely believe it was so easy for me to touch someone else? That all other flesh hasn't turned to sandpaper under my fingertips because of you?"

His hands came up, slipping under my sweater to touch the bare skin of my back. Despite myself, my flimsy resolve vaporized in the heat between us. My grip on his collar loosened, and he pressed his face against my stomach, breathing in hard like he was taking in my scent. Then his fingers curled, his nails digging into my skin.

"Please stop me," he breathed.

While my body screamed to press him closer to feel every possible inch of him against me, I was still angry at the implication that I could truly want anyone else.

So, I brought my hands to his face and leaned in to kiss him. It was only a light kiss, and when I pulled away, I whispered, "If you insist."

Then I yanked, feeling the wet squelch as his head separated from his body in my hands.

He gasped in surprise as I held his head out in front of me, unable to contain my smile. "See? I stopped you."

But then, surprisingly, he smiled in return.

His hands, still on my waist, were suddenly yanking me up and off the tabletop. I gasped, accidentally dropping his head as he flipped me around and pressed his body to mine. The edge of the table bit into my hips as he pushed himself hard against me. His hands came around, and one fumbled with the button of my pants. Once it was free, he yanked the zipper askew, and his fingers trailed down the exposed valley between my hips and slipped into my panties.

As I gasped, his other hand came up and covered my mouth, holding me in place as his fingers dipped into me. My hands wrapped around the arm, keeping me upright. I only had one full leg, and it was feeling weak.

Desperately, I moved against him. But just as I was approaching release, he removed his hand. I was about to protest until he pulled my pants down.

His hand left my mouth, coming down to the top of my shoulder to bend me forward. When he pushed inside of me, my moan mingled with his from somewhere on the floor.

His hands went to my hips, guiding me against his roughly. This caused the table to shudder and creak, and we leaned into it for leverage.

One of his hands came up, pressing me down until my chest met the tabletop. He left his hand there, fingers weaving into the roots of my hair as he brought me back hard on him.

It was rougher than before yet more sure, unafraid. Desperation thrummed in every thrust.

When he was done, he collapsed onto my back, and for a moment, neither of us moved.

His ragged breaths ghosted against my skin. Then he gently pulled away as he righted himself behind me.

I did the same, pushing myself back to standing and redoing my pants.

As I threaded the button on my fly, his arms snaked around me. This time, he was gentle, clutching me to him. He must have found his head because his lips grazed the valley below my ear.

"Still jealous?" I breathed.

He exhaled a laugh against my throat. "I never admitted to that."

"Sure you didn't."

His arms tightened. "Please, if you won't try and preserve yourself for my benefit, at least do it for yourself."

"I know what I'm doing."

He sighed, pressing his forehead into my hair. "That's what I was afraid you'd say."

"What do you even like about me?" I asked. "Surely my sex appeal isn't quite so mind-boggling as to overshadow all your qualms with my personality."

"Actually, in a vacuum, I find your savior complex and lack of respect for rule or authority to be quite endearing. Unfortunately, I do not appreciate such qualities making you a danger to yourself. Or the people who weaponize said qualities for their own benefit." He shook his head. "It is a terrible fate to care for someone more than they care for themselves."

"Have you considered that we just have different priorities?"

"Oh, that much is very clear," he said with a dry laugh.

"It probably won't matter. Once they discover I snuck out, maybe they'll just expel Rigel and me, though I doubt you're too worried about his fate."

"That's true. His expulsion would really only benefit me."

"You're not supposed to think of your students on those terms."

"I'm also not supposed to imagine them naked, but it seems I'm breaking all the rules these days." He grabbed the plastic dummy foot from where it landed and began working to affix it once more. "Why didn't you tell me you'd read your history? I could have—"

"Didn't you get the memo, Professor?" I asked, rolling my eyes. "We don't tell each other important things. It's practically a style of foreplay at this point."

"If I thought knowing your history would do you any good, I would have made it happen."

Annoyingly, I believed him, even if it still felt like a betrayal. I yearned for the days when I lived in ignorant bliss, despite how awful that reality made me feel.

"Do you know what happened to Lindy?" I asked, my voice a whisper.

He tied off the ribbon around my leg, securing the fake foot in place.

When he answered, he met my eyes. "Not exactly, but I can guarantee that if it has something to do with your roles in the afterlife and Last Hope, there is nothing you can do about it."

"What if I'm next?"

He got to his feet, cupping my cheeks and kissing me hard on the forehead. "Then, they'll have to take me first."