Chapter 19

Doc – One Month Later

I tapmy leg as Snake and Smokey argue about who will attend the meet-up with the Untamed brothers and their women. Neither want their old ladies to have any contact with the Untamed old ladies, because those women are insane—taking a brother's bike and wrecking it was kind of crazy, but that didn't top the women hiring gay male strippers at their clubs.

It got even crazier when a pregnant Violet got between Phil, his old man Cannon, and a stripper who took a liking in Phil.

Tats exploded….

I blink, unable to focus on them and their bickering. I can't seem to focus on anything unless I'm at work. I still haven't heard from Kennedy, and Prue is driving me nuts.

I went to my room here at the club last night to find her fingering herself on my fucking bed. Sniper had to hold me back from dragging the bitch out by her hair, but her words snapped Sniper into action, pulling me away as I got my knife out ready to slit her throat.

If this is how you're going to treat your old lady, then baby, I need to do some emailing!"

I spent two hours in the ring with Tech. He's struggling without Brook, who was attacked, and he went on a rampage to find the fucker who tried to assault her, while his ex, Nina, keeps trying to get his attention.

We both needed an outlet. My eyebrow is busted up, he has a split lip, and I'm ready for another round. Unless I'm at work or doing the books for the club, my mind goes haywire, question after question hitting me.

Did she end things with the guy?

Does she love him?

Is she really coming back?

"For fuck"s sake," Breaker snaps loudly, shutting the two up and snapping me out of my head as he states, "Quinn and I will go in support of our club; her job means she can"t afford to fuck up. Ken will be home then, so she can watch Noah for the first week, and my parents the second. We"ll need a check on Quinn to make sure the ride is safe for her."

Snake and Smokey sigh in relief while I raise a brow at Breaker's comment. Quinn should be fine to ride now, so why would she need to be checked?

Wait, did he just say….

Tats grins and asks, "Not Lola?"

I stare at Breaker, willing him to confirm that he just admitted Kennedy is coming home.

The brothers chuckle, and he shakes his head, "No, definitely not Lola. I still don"t know how they set six snakes loose in the common room. Noah was always scared of them."

I wince. I nearly got bit by one when I walked out of the basement gym and almost stepped right on one.

Snake shudders. "I swear, never a fucking gain. That woman needs supervision."

Breaker chuckles, but his earlier words are still swimming around my head.

Kennedy is coming home, which means he's spoken to her while she's gone radio silent on me. I know Breaker is with Quinn; I know he loves Quinn, but right now, my mind is not in the right fucking place.

Are they…have they been together?

The thought makes me see red and I'm ready to blow as I bark, "When exactly is Kennedy back?"

He's been speaking to her; he gets to hear her fucking voice while I'm here drowning, barely getting any air, and yet he never said anything. He knows why I chose Prue and why I did what I did.

Why in the fuck didn't he tell me she's been answering his calls?

He clears his throat. "She, uh, doesn"t want anyone to know."

I snap, my anger overriding me, "Are you fucking kidding me, Breaker? I told you why I did what I did. Why won"t you tell me when she"s due back so I can finally become whole again?"

I feel like I can't fucking breathe.

He sits forward, sighing, and links his fingers over the oak table.

He says, "She just wants a few days to settle in before the club bombards her. Lucas, everyone around this table is on your side, but I must be on hers."

Is he having a fucking laugh right now?

I growl, "Let me guess, you"re picking her up from the airport?"

He chokes a little, then mutters. "Actually, I"ll be flying out to her, and traveling back in her car."

Some brothers curse, and anger tears at me as I stand angrily. "Does your old lady know about your infatuation with Kennedy? You always wanted her, didn"t you? That"s why you"re not willing to help me? That"s why you fucking hit me, a brother…."

I instantly regret my words, but instead of getting pissed, he laughs, causing Sniper to grip my arm as I lunge for him.

His eyes soften as he states loudly, "What I"m about to say does not leave this fucking room. Do I make myself clear?" He looks around the table, the brothers all gazing at him, confused. At the same time, I try to swallow my anger and the pain that is shooting through me.

I can't do this anymore…I just fucking can't.

Breaker makes eye contact with me, showing concern, and he admits, "Lola only knows because Ken had enough of her shitty behavior, and my old lady knows because, well, she"s my woman, and Tech knows because he"s Tech, he knows all."

I look at him in confusion as Bull, Snake"s dad, states, "We old brothers know as well."

Breaker nods. "They also know."

Snake says, "We promise not to mention anything outside of this room, including to our women. What don"t we know, brother?"

He sighs. "Fuck, she may kill me for this…. Kennedy is my cousin."

What the…. I sit down in shock, my mouth hanging open.

He continues, "My dad…." He looks at my dad. "My birth dad," I smile a little at that, happy that he's giving my dad the title he deserves after all the years. "…and Kennedy"s momma are siblings." Fuck. "When Dad chose the club and Momma, his parents, who were fanatical Christian, disowned him, and so did his sister. Since then, my grandparents have seen the error of their ways…it was just too late. They know Ken and I want nothing to do with them out of respect of my dad, but have given each of us a trust. We haven"t touched it, though I did encourage Ken to spend hers to move out of her momma's. Still, the girl is stubborn and knows as soon as Cora finds out about the money, she"ll demand it."

Sniper cuts in, "Why the secrecy?"

I swallow hard, my guilt eating at me for taking my anger and jealousy over this other guy on Breaker, causing him to reveal a secret he clearly didn't want to.

He sighs, running a hand through his hair. "Her momma hates the club; she"d stuck by her parent"s beliefs. When Dad died, she said it was karma…. Brothers, Ken"s life growing up was hard on her. It"s why she spent most of her time here at the club, staying in my room. Her momma is a bitch and a whore, while her father is an abusive drunk. When she was an infant, my father made a point that she be in our lives, the school helped too, and Ken always knew not to tell her momma. Dad ensured she knew she had a decent family that loved her." He looks at me. "Ken is my cousin, Lucas. You hurt her, so I fucking hurt you; that is how it goes. Her feelings come before yours. Yes, I understand why you did what you did, but you still hurt her. I"m going to put her first. Yes, I will help you as I promised, but she has asked for a few days to settle back in; she"s not stupid, she knows you"re going to go full force. I"ve tried to get in her head about you and your love for her, but you made her the other woman, you lied to her. You have a fucking lot of groveling to do, and you need to tell her why you chose the path you did. There is shit you don"t understand, Lucas, shit I refuse to tell you because it"s not my place, and my loyalty is with Kennedy, my cousin, my sister by heart, plus I have other shit I"m dealing with than your hurt over not knowing when she"s coming home. You need to understand—Noah, Quinn, me, we"re the reason she's coming back here; you need to work on making you the reason."

But I've told her fucking everything, and she still left me a second time. She still chose to go back to New York and cut all contact with me.

How can I become the person for her to return to when she gave up on us, on me?

How can my brother sit there and tell me I make her the other woman, when he knows the full truth, but still acting like I did her dirty?

I tried to protect her while killing myself in the process….

I swallow hard, my emotions taking a toll on me.

He sighs, admitting, "I leave in a week; I"ll give you the address of the place Quinn and I set up for her. That"s all you"re getting."

Pain shoots through me. I told her everything; I showed her my heart with those letters, yet she's still going through Breaker.

She still wants no contact….

I bite my lip and rasp, "I"m sorry, brother, and you can hit me again, I"ll take it," trying to divert everyone from my pain. from the hurt he's just caused me by sticking to his guns, knowing if this was the other way round, he'd have me pinned to the table until I gave him the information he wanted.

He nods with a chuckle as Smokey asks, "What other shit do you have to deal with? Well, except for Kennedy"s momma, but you have us brothers to help you with that bitch." He tilts his head. I raise a brow at Breaker, who looks guilty and nervous as hell. Smoke continues, "You have a beautiful son who has started to thrive again despite his trauma, a woman who loves you and said son enough to jump in front of a bullet for you both, and your cousin is coming home…. What did you do, brother?"

Ah fuck, he has that look, the same one he had when he drove his dad's bike into the school wall after taking it for a joy ride.

My dad sits forward, asking, "Son, I know that look; it"s the same one you gave me and your dad after crashing his bike. What the fuck did you do?"

I snort because, yeah, I fucking called it, and that shit was funny as fuck.

He narrows his eyes at me before clearing his throat, "I uh, well, you see…."

Sniper cuts in, "Aw fuck, brother, what have you done."

He swallows hard and admits, "I, fuck, I didn"t want to lose her again. I-I…."

Bull barks, "Spit it out, brother."

Shit, this is bigger than I thought.

Breaker mutters, "I swapped her birth control pills for vitamins a few months ago, and if my calculations are right, she"s roughly five weeks pregnant…and doesn't know."

My body starts to shake with silent laughter, knowing the fucker is roadkill.

Tats rasps, "Fuck, it"s like a full circle. A bitch traps you, and you decide to trap your old lady."

Okay, yeah, that sounds bad ,and if Ken finds out…he's fucked.

I clear my throat. "Yeah, brother, you"re fucked; never mind your old lady killing you. Just wait until she tells Ken."

He groans, dropping his head, and grumbling, "Ah fuck…." and we all laugh because he's in so much fucking trouble.

I shake my head, my laughter dying as Kennedy comes to mind.

A part of me, a part that dies every day, thinks maybe I need to let her go, but I don't physically know how. I've wanted her for so long; she owns my heart, body, and soul.

I don't know how to let her go, but that's my only solution. She doesn't want me anymore.

I feel like I'm losing everything and can't stop it.

I blink, my thoughts confusing me as the door to church slams open, and Quinn storms in, looking mad as fuck.

Uh oh.

She points at Breaker and shouts, "You mother fucking son of a—"she pauses. "Nope, not saying it, I love your momma."

The brothers try not to smirk as Dad states, "She loves you, too, darling, but now that you"re carrying her second grandchild, she"ll be even happier."

Quinn freezes momentarily as she asks, "Second grandchild?"

Oh shit….

Breaker starts to sweat and asks, "That"s why you"re mad, right?"

She looks at him confused and states, "No, I"m mad because you sold my Fiat, a car I worked my ass for, and swapped it for the truck." I wince. "I"m not…." she looks around the room before looking back at Breaker, "I"m not pregnant, Alex. I"m on the pill, and I had my period…." She stops for a moment, probably thinking when her last period was.

Tech mutters, "Shit."

I tilt my headthough, noticing a glint in her eye, the small tilt of her lip, and bite my bottom lip. She's fucking playing him.

Quinn"s eyes narrow, and she asks coldly, "My period is nearly two weeks late…. Why would Crow think I"m pregnant, Alex?"

He clears his throat. "Well, you, uh, see, I noticed it was late and just happened to mention I think you might be…."

The brother"s wince, but I grin, seeing right through her.

She tilts her head. "I"m on the Pill."

He nods. "But uh, the Pill can sometimes fail."

Fuck, come on, Breaker.I drill my eyes into his head, hoping he can feel them. She's fucking pushing him into a corner.

Quinn places her hands on her hips and states, "Yes, they do…. But you always made sure to come inside me the past few months. Why is that, Alex."

"Fuck," Snake whispers, moving away from the table, along with the other brothers, while I sigh at the idiots.

"Please tell me you did not mess with my birth control to trap me?" she growls.

He boldly states, "It"s not trapping when you are my old lady and the love of my life."

Her face reddens before she screeches,"We"re not even married yet, you jackass, and I wanted to adopt Noah first!"

I smile along with the other brothers, happy she wants Noah, as he asks, "You want to adopt him?"

She replies, "You know damn well I want to, and you know what, jackass, enjoy the couch for the foreseeable and the blue balls, because you are in the fucking doghouse." She looks my way and points. "You meet me in the med clinic; I had drinks with Lola last night, and thanks to that jackass, who I don"t even know if I want to be with anymore, for taking this decision out of my hands. I could have endangered the baby."

I nod, even though I know she's talking out of her ass, as she grabs Sniper"s mug and throws it at Breaker, screaming, and it just misses him.

I chuckle before clearing my throat, then wince, playing the part for Quinn. I state, "I"ll, uh, go after her. Just, fuck, tell Ken I miss her, please, and I"m sorry, brother, for the accusations. I just love her so much, and yeah, good luck."

He nods, and I go after Quinn, trying not to laugh. She smiles as I catch up with her in the common room and give her a side hug as I say, "Good acting," making her laugh and hug me back.

"Should have known you'd see through it. He deserves to sweat."

I nod at her words because she is right; he trapped her.

I say, "I'll keep your secret. Do you need me to do a quick exam?"

She pulls back and smiles. "No, it's okay. Dad did it for me when I figured it out last week."

I give her another nod before kissing her head, then go to Snake's office to wait for him to come out of church, making a split-second decision. I notice Nina staring at the door, making me shake my head while Prue's eyes follow me. Nina was banned from the club but somehow managed to get back in, no thanks to Tech's momma pissing him off. As for Prue, I demanded to have her ass banned after her actions yesterday, but Snake said we need to treat her like she's an old lady, at least until we get that fucking footage. Tech said he has a lead, but I don't know how much more I can take.

Twenty minutes later, I'm sitting on one of Snake's chairs when he, my dad, and Tech walk in. They all stop when they see me.

"Son?" my dad questions with concern.

I clear my throat, running my hand through my hair as I sit forward, and I rasp, "I want in on the job with the Huntsmen MC."

Tech sucks in a breath, Snake's eyes widening, and he says, "Brother, you'll be helping them smoke out rats for about a month; Kennedy is back in only a few weeks."

I give him a smile and rasp, "I'm breaking, Hunter." My father"s jaw clamps shut. "I, fuck, I can't breathe. She's in contact with Breaker, Lola, andSniper, yet with me, she's gone radio silent. I told her everything, I laid all my cards on the table, I gave her every single fucking heartbreaking letter of my time without her, and she wants space from me but has no problem with every other person in this club. I need to leave."

Tech rasps, "You're going to kill Prue, aren't you?"

I nod. "If I don't leave, I will. She ruined my fucking life, and I've had to go along with it. I lost the only fucking thing that mattered to me. I need to leave." I squeeze my eyes shit. "And I don't know if I'll want to come back."

My dad growls, punching the wall as Snake drops his head. Tech nods in understanding, knowing how hard it is when the woman you love refuses any contact.

I need to leave, otherwise, I'm going to break.

"What about work?" my dad asks.

I bite my bottom lip. "I've taken a month"s sabbatical. I never have time off; I always go in when they need me. My PTO has racked up, and they've told me to call if I need more time off."

My dad shakes his head. "You leave, and I know you won't come back, son."

I nod. "But if I stay, I'm going to kill Prue, and this way, her ultimatum will be on hold. It'll buy us time to get the footage. I have to go, Dad."

He shakes his head, hurt shining through his features, and rasps, "Shelly will be upset, Breaker will get pissed, and Kennedy, when she returns, it'll kill her that you've left."

I swallow hard. "Momma will be okay because she has you, Breaker, Lola, Quinn, and Noah, and Kennedy…this is what she's asked for, I'm just giving it to her because, Dad, I can't fucking breathe. I see her and our memories every day, I hear the others talk about their chats with her, and I know I'm going to do something stupid if I don't go. I don't want to give up on her, Dad, I really don't, but she's already given up on me, and I can't fight for us alone anymore, especially when Breaker is on her side despite knowing everything I've done is to protect her."

His eyes tear up, but he nods as Snake shakes his head in denial. His eyes meet mine, and I know he sees my pain. I need this, and he knows it because he soon nods, and plans start to be made, including how to break the news to Momma and Breaker.

Fuck, they are going to be angry.