Chapter Ten

Our walks resumed. I enjoyed our hours of talking, of learning more about Jake, just to get lost in the sheets afterward, mostly in my dorm room.

As my room was the last of the usually deserted wing, and my neighbor was practically living with her boyfriend, there were no people around to hear how I could not control myself.

With Jake, I learned what my body wanted, what it responded to.

* * *

As hard as Jake and Alice tried to be solitary figures, they always shone during our Friday bar nights. It was not only how they looked, both with their otherworldly attractiveness, but how attention and energy collected around them, and with Jake, I was pulled into that spotlight.

And I started shining too. It was easy when Jake's hand was draped around my shoulders.

"I've always told you that you are a diamond," Miranda said, her voice slurring on the edge after her third tequila shot. "But you were in the dark, now Jake is the light, and look how you're glistening."

"To the diamonds," I said, clinking her glass and downing the fourth shot.

After that shot, my vision blurred, the music becoming three-dimensional in my head. It was the last Friday before Thanksgiving, before everyone went home to their families, a painful reminder that I had no place to go.

Jake suggested that he and Alice would stay with me, and that we could have a traditional dinner with turkey and movies. I protested, saying that his parents were waiting for them, but he insisted, reminding me that I was not alone anymore.

But as I watched people talking about their plans to go back home, how they complained about long commutes and needing to see parents and grandparents, I wanted to scream. They all had it, while I had never had it in the first place. Thanksgiving with my Dad always consisted of takeouts and a string of Star Wars movies. And it was my heaven, and then he was gone. A pain sliced my chest as I once again remembered his face, my Dad, who was never equipped to be a parent but managed to make it work, for me.

The fifth shot did it, it dulled the pain, it dimmed everything.

"Whoa, we need to take you home," said Alice, who appeared by my side just as the room was tilting dangerously to the horizontal.

A blink.

I was standing.

A blink.

We were out.

A blink.

I was in the backseat of the Beetle. Jake was driving, and my head was cradled in Alice's lap.

"I miss him so much," I whispered. "And everyone is bitching about how they have to go home, how they must visit their parents. They're idiots. They don't know what they have."

A gentle touch moved my hair away from my face, running down my cheek, Alice. I looked up at her, my muscles barely obeying.

"I'm sorry," she said, barely audible. She looked at me, her eyes kind.

She tucked my hair behind my ear, grazing my neck as I closed my eyes and leaned into her touch.

The car slowed to a stop, tugging me back to reality. Jake turned to us from the driver"s seat and watched Alice's hand lost in my hair. He looked up at her and smiled, hopeful. And I was out.

* * *

I opened my eyes to blinding sunlight, the glare burning my retinas. I was in Jake's bed, wearing my underwear and his shirt. The previous evening was a blurring story of people, diamonds, sadness, and a warm touch. I groaned as I tilted to the side, the alcohol still thrumming through my veins, the walls spinning.

The door frame creaked and the mattress sagged slightly.

"How are you feeling?" Alice asked.

It took a lot of effort to turn my gaze to her. Her blonde locks cascaded down a blue sweater, white leggings hugged her hips, and those eyes watched me carefully.

"You're beautiful," I said simply, my mind and my lips out of sync.

Alice laughed, the sound warming something deep inside me. "Still dizzy," she said, standing up. "I'll be right back."

I managed to sit up when she disappeared down the stairs. The room was breaking into a kaleidoscope of parts … the sun, the walls, the sheets, gray eyes.

She was back with a glass of sparkling liquid.

"It should help," she said and placed a glass in my hand, our fingers grazing. "Drink it."

I did. The fizzy sour water bit my tongue. It felt good.

"Sorry for yesterday, I shouldn"t have had so much to drink," I said.

"It's okay. You were sad and alcohol is famous for numbing sadness," Alice said.

I nodded, taking a few last gulps of the liquid. In the end, it turned syrupy in my mouth. The room started rotating slower, finally taking its usual position.

"Better?" she asked.

"Yes. Where's Jake?"

"He's out for groceries, he wanted to get there early because before Thanksgiving it would all be swept clear in hours. He's planning something magnificent for the day, you know," Alice said.

"You guys should have gone home, to your family."

"We wanted to stay here with you," Alice said and walked to the door.

"We?"

She froze on the threshold, her fingers on the doorframe. Alice turned back and there was something unreadable in her eyes as she studied me.

"Yes, we."

And she was gone.

I stood up; the concoction Alice had given me worked immediately. The acrid taste in my mouth from tequila still lingering, I shuffled to the shower. There was a shelf with my stuff in the bathroom. My towel, toothbrush, face cream, and makeup. I was taking up space in this small house and only then realized that Alice could have been hostile or against me, a woman who spent so much time in her space, in her house. But all Alice ever showed me was kindness, fun, and acceptance.

The mint toothpaste finally dulled the taste of the previous night. And when I climbed into the hot shower, I remembered the soft touch of Alice's fingers on my face. I brushed my cheeks as they warmed slightly.

* * *

On Thanksgiving morning I promised myself I wouldn't sulk. I would be cheerful for the people who stayed for me, who made an effort. We decided to dress up for the day. I picked out my most festive outfit, a black dress that reached my mid-calves and had long sleeves that kept me wonderfully warm even in the freezing weather, light gray tights scattered with sparkling glitter, and dark leather boots. A silver moon pendant glistened in the light as I used a curling iron, following the guidance of a YouTube tutorial. The faded smokey eyes I had been practicing complimented my nose ring. I knew there was something wrong with me when even my most festive outfit was all dark, but it had glitter. Glitter made everything festive.

Jake whistled when he saw me.

"You look hot," he said.

The kiss inside his car deepened just a notch, his hand going up my thigh.

"Yes, okay, turkey, food, Thanksgiving," he said, breaking the kiss. "I need to concentrate on those things."

I chuckled as he drove us to their house. A warm glow spilled from its windows when we rounded the corner. The gloomy gray day outside the car only highlighted how warm and cozy it should be inside.

And it was. When the door opened, the sweet smell of oranges and cinnamon wrapped around me. The walls shone with fairy lights, turning the light inside into a mysterious one. And there was a fairy coming down the stairs, right for us. Alice was wearing a white wrap dress. It brushed the floor as she rushed down the stairs and I prayed she wouldn't trip. The pleats of the dress made it billow festively as she hopped onto the last step. Her blonde hair was in an updo. Crystal freckles were scattered on her cheeks.

She paused on the lowest step, her eyes widening just a little when she saw me. Her fingers tightened on the rail she was holding.

We were yin and yang. She was all white, I was all black, connected by glitter.

Alice walked closer to me, and I smiled, hugging her. She smelled of vanilla and something tropical, and I felt how her heart fluttered against me, just for a second, before I let go.

"Hi," she sighed.

"Do I have to wear something fancy?" Jake groaned.

"Yes," Alice and I said in unison.

"Let me finish with the food and I"ll change," he said, going into the kitchen.

"It feels weird to be so made up," I gestured to my face.

"It suits you," Alice said, blushing. "Not that it's bad when you are without makeup or have straight hair. God, I have to stop talking." She shook her head. "Do you want a drink?"

"Yeah, thanks."

She turned on her heels and strode to the kitchen. Her hands were slightly shaking when she opened the fridge to pull out the bottle of white wine.

I was standing just outside the kitchen when the oven caught my eye.

"Are you going to feed an army?" I exclaimed.

Jake followed my gaze and laughed. "It"s Thanksgiving, we need to be stuffed with turkey," he said.

"And pies," Alice said, pointing to a countertop where three full-size pies were sitting.

"Wow, you really love cooking."

He just smirked in reply, a bowl of salad in his hands.

We sat in the living room, the space filled with the warm glow of fairy lights and candles. Alice's easel was pushed back to the window, her latest still art composition moved into the corner, as the painting was half-finished. Jake didn't change into a tuxedo, but into light pants and a gray shirt. We made a peculiar company. Just the three of us, all nicely dressed, glasses of white wine in our hands, the table covered with food, and the light jazz music playing in the background.

"To a new tradition," I said and raised the glass.

"Hear, hear," Jake said, and the room filled with laughter.

The food melted on my tongue and the wine painted my cheeks pink. I was so thankful to be there, thankful for both of them.

"I have news to share," Alice said, rubbing the back of her neck as a smile tugged at her lips.

She looked at both of us. "I signed up for a freelance platform just a couple of weeks ago, and no one was interested in hiring a person with zero experience and a clean, fresh profile. So, I was losing any hope with all my applications going unanswered," she scrunched her nose in displeasure before continuing.

"Then a company with a vague job description replied, they asked me to show more of my work, then conducted an interview, and they liked my style. That company turned out to be one of the biggest game development companies in the world. They gave me a test task, and a few hours after I completed it, the job offer came," Alice said, her voice excited, beaming.

"They hired me part-time "til I finish university, and if everything goes well, they can offer me a full position afterward. The main thing, the job is remote, the office being in Silicon Valley."

Jake stood up and drew Alice into a huge bear embrace. "I'm so happy for you," he said, squeezing her.

He put her down and she looked at me, beaming.

"You deserve it, Alice. Your art is so intricate and beautiful," I said, and this time she wrapped her hands around me, and I pressed her a bit tighter against myself. "Well done."

"My job is to create characters, secondary at first, but who knows …" she said.

The three of us were standing, and one more glass of wine was downed for the artist.

We ate until we couldn't anymore. They told me weird stories from their Eastern Europe trip, and I laughed when they explained open train cars, where, when you walk down the aisle, you need to dodge smelly feet dangling from the hanging beds. They told me about bars with young people who spoke English and farms where no one knew a word of it. They talked about galleries, about the streets, the old crooked buildings, and the new twenty-story high neighborhoods where people lived packed on top of each other, how they grumbled about their gray streets, while their eyes burned.

The lights dimmed, the candles flickered as we moved to the couch. I dropped my head into Jake's lap and my feet were inches from Alice's thigh. And we watched Star Wars, and I was so warm inside, not from the food, the wine, and not from the light that hugged me, but from the two people who sat by my side.