CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

KNOX

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“She’s Judge Mill’sdaughter?” I gape at Atlas.

He nods.

“How do you know that?” I ask.

How did I not know that?

Payton told me that her parents were lawyers and were disappointed she didn’t want to continue her legal studies. Hell, now I’m starting to understand why they were putting so much pressure on her.

Not that I agree with it.

Her father’s threat to charge her for her education seems irrational to me. The number of times I’ve considered finding out where they live and storming over there to confront him is in the dozens.

I’ve thought about sending Payton the money or just depositing it into her account.

This is my fault.

Yes, we both did this together, but I was the one with influence. And, while she was wrong about one thing - I did listen - I was so wrapped up in becoming CEO that I didn’t stop to really consider what this would do to her.

I have money.

A lot of fucking money.

In my head, I would always protect her. I just never voiced it.

And I never expected her to walk away from me and tell me I never had to see her again.

Have I accepted that?

No fucking way.

I just don’t know how to move forward and what it is I exactly want.

I don’t date.

I want to keep fucking her.

I want to have her in my bed and make her eggs and soap up her body. I want to dance with her so everyone can see and kiss her lips, telling everyone in the room she is mine.

But I don’t date.

I don’t do relationships.

And I’m not sure if I know what love is.

What if I can’t love her? What if I disappoint her as I’ve done my family? As Dad pointed out, my mother wouldn’t be proud.

I could never be the man he has for my mother. Look at how I’ve already fucked this up.

Payton deserves better.

“I know things,” Atlas replies. “Rumor has it he could sit on the Supreme Court one day.”

“Jesus,” I reply, dropping the weights with a clang.

God, I miss her like crazy and I hate not knowing if she is okay.

She’s not okay, you dick.

Alexandra met with me yesterday to assure me that Payton’s replacement would not be tempted to cross the line - as if it was Payton’s fault, and I’d be happy to hear this.

It just infuriated me.

I tried to change her mind, but she gave me a patronizing look and said, “Knox, if I have to explain why that would be a bad idea, then we do have a problem.”

“The only problem we have, Alexandra, is that you have acted spontaneously and not listened to Payton’s side of the story.”

She leaned back in her chair. “You are wrong. I asked her what had happened, and she refused to say a word. So I fired her.”

I narrowed my eyes.

She didn’t even try to defend herself?

God damn you, Payton.

“And I ask that you refrain from any sexual activity with any of my other staff,” she added. “Replacing people is costly and disruptive to both our organizations.”

This.

This is what my father was talking about. It’s not like I didn’t get it, but hearing it said to my face by a supplier is harsh.

I want to tell her to get out of my office, but Alexandra is right.

I had no right pursuing Payton Mills.

Now I’ve destroyed her life and impacted my own in ways I will come to regret my entire life.

However, Ward was right. I don’t want his job yet. I thought I should. I thought it should be mine. I thought it would be a failure to not be appointed the next CEO or Montgomery Enterprises.

And it cost me the woman I may be falling in love with.

Next week, Ward is announcing that Daxton Phillips will be our new CEO. He will be on a five-year contract.

Then, I’ll decide if I want to take over. If the answer is yes, nothing is stopping me.

“Dad told everyone you withdrew your application,” Atlas tells me.

I sit and stare at him.

“I guess I did.” I wipe my forehead with my towel. “Actions speak louder than words, I guess.”

Atlas swaps places with me and I lift the bar for him.

“You going to tell her?”

“What?”

“Come on. Dude you’re in love with this woman,” Atlas says then lets out an oomph when I drop the weight on him too hard.

“Oops.”

“Fuck you.” He laughs and presses.

“I don’t know. My priorities were fucked up. I was angry at Dad for subjecting me to the interview process. I wanted Payton. I hated that I couldn’t have her.”

“Love.”

“Or the forbidden fruit.” As she once said to me. I need to be really clear on how I feel before acting irrationally.

Atlas sits up. “I’m not buying it. At first I did. But you never lose your cool. Fucking her at the pool was a risk. You knew very well you could get caught.”

I hold my brother’s gaze for a long moment.

“No, you’re wrong. I didn’t give a fuck. I needed to possess her. To show her she was mine,” I say darkly.

“And what are you doing right now? Ignoring her?”

“Working out how to be a better man. One worthy of her,” I reply.

Every time I think about going to her, I imagine myself driving over there, ripping her door off the hinge, and forcing her to want me.

I’m rough.

I’m dominant.

I’m possessive, and she is mine.

That won’t work this time. I know it in every part of my being.

Thank you very much for destroying my life.

I don’t have a plan, but perhaps for once in my life I simply have to just lay my heart out on the line.

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AFTER WORK I head home, shower, have a glass of whisky, then pace the floor practicing what I will say.

So much for winging it.

All day I’ve been distracted and completely useless to everyone.

I threw half my dinner away because I couldn’t stomach it, and now glancing at the clock, I see that it’s already eight.

If she rejects me, then at least I tried. Honestly, I know I don’t deserve her but, fuck that, Payton Mills belongs to me.

I need to fight for her.

She deserves that much.

“You are a Montgomery. Go get your girl,” I say to myself.

I grab my keys and hit the elevator button. The ride down takes forever. The drive to her apartment takes forever. Then I take the stairs, and puffing, I finally knock on her door.

Silence.

A minute passes and I knock again.

Silence.

Fuck, she’s not home. I pull out my phone and call her.

The hell?

I hear her phone ringing inside the apartment.

“Payton!” I call out.

“Go away, Knox,” she replies.

“Were you fucking ignoring me?” I ask, shaking my head.

A lady across the hall opens her door and peers at me. I glare at her, and she goes back inside. I probably look intimidating in my black jeans, boots, blazer, and t-shirt. The only indication of my wealth is the Rolex on my wrist.

I assume.

“Payton! Were you ignoring me?” I growl into the door.

“Yes. Go away, Knox,” she cries.

I frown.

Did she see my car? I parked across the road, so she must have seen me. Damn it. I would be a terrible private investigator.

Still, I’m surprised she isn’t even willing to talk to me.

Should I be?

I lay my hand on the wooden doorframe. “Payton, let me in. We need to talk.”

“We definitely do not. Go home. Leave me alone and do not come back,” she calls through the door. I can hear the sadness in her voice and hate it.

“I’m not leaving,” I say firmly. “I am sorry I haven’t been in touch. I needed time to think things through.”

“Oh, well then... no. Fuck off,” she snaps.

God damn her.

“Payton.” I bang on the door as if that’s going to help. “Open the door.”

Silence.

“I’m not leaving,” I tell her, crossing my arms.

Silence.

Shit.

I pace the hall for five minutes, then ten, then knock a few more times, cursing and demanding she let me in.

“I am not going anywhere, Payton, so you open this fucking door.” I bang with my fist.

Jesus, she is stubborn.

After a few more minutes, I slide down the wall and wait.

She’ll open up.