Chapter 13

13

NIKKI

T his morning at Fran's Diner, I'm wearing a dark green beanie to cover my hair, which is pulled uncharacteristically into a side braid. With my back to the middle of the room, I'm not recognizable to anyone drifting in or out to grab a quick breakfast.

During my first coffee, the conversation is mostly about the weather, and how desperately we need a proper rain. It almost sounds like people are blaming Gus, the local weather expert, like it's personally his fault.

I can't bring myself to care about the weather right now.

Last night while I tossed and turned on Carson's unbelievably comfortable couch, I allowed a shift to take over my mind and turn my thoughts black. My hope turned to horror. I've had all my rules in place for so long, and I abandoned them just because of the way my stomach flutters when a hot man smiles at me.

So much for being a strong, independent woman. So much for breaking a cycle. The first time anyone truly flirts with me, I give in completely. Terrific.

Okay, it wasn't a total mistake – that was the most unbelievable first time a girl could ever hope for. But I feel like I've been leading Carson on, which isn't fair. He can't really expect me to stay up here in the mountains, and…what? Fall into this impossibly perfect life?

Staring out the window, a proud grandmother walks by pushing a stroller, beaming as she nods to everyone, her heart truly full. Is that what I've been looking for?

Everything is so ridiculously wholesome here. It fills my heart with…I don't know what. I've never put down roots anywhere. But the people who have, it seems to satisfy a part of their soul.

Carson's entire life seems set up to make him happy and comfortable. Which is amazing. The only piece missing was a woman. Then I appear, and…

I know it's completely unfair to compare him to the men my mom, my sister and my friend got mixed up with. He has never done a single thing to control me. Sure, he suggested that we date. Or, ‘not date' at first. He wasn't pushy about it, just playful.

My fingers tap on the table as I realize that playfulness-not-pushiness is one of the things I adore about him. Sure, maybe it's weird that he didn't mention his model car painting hobby, but I'm sure there's a whole bunch of things I haven't told him yet. Not because they're secrets, we just haven't gotten around to it yet.

Everything happened so fast, you know?

By my second coffee, my hand has grabbed a pen and is automatically writing down the gist of the conversation of the women right behind me without even looking at who it is. At first it's just what they want for lunch, and how they one hundred percent deserve to splurge on vanilla hazelnut lattes. Then?—

"Have you heard the news about the middle Dirty boy?" one of them asks.

"Ooh – what's the scoop?"

I pretend to be looking at a car driving by so I can twist and sneak a peek at them. It's two women in their mid-thirties, perhaps. The one in the green sweater spoke first and has a much lower voice than her friend in the floral t-shirt.

"Apparently he's been seen with one of those student girls staying at the pilot's house?—"

"Oh, I've heard that house is absolutely beautiful ," Flowers sighs.

"Me too. That's not the point. Carson Dirty must be at least…what, in his late thirties?"

Thirty-two, I want to correct her, but remain silent.

"And those student girls must be maybe nineteen!"

We're all twenty-one. Not many people are in their last year of college at nineteen. I mean, geez.

"So that's a bit inappropriate," Green Sweater says with a barked laugh. I catch a bit of her reflection in the window as she leans in closer. "But then he's always been a bit…you know. Off. With his mailing strange things all the time."

Flowers blows out a breath. "Well, you know what they say about middle children. Attention-wise, they get lost in the shuffle, and sometimes they turn out odd."

"You want to talk odd, do you know about Shane Dirty?"

"What about him?"

Green Sweater cackles merrily, no longer keeping her voice down. "Total weirdo! He was at the post office constantly as well, mailing all kinds of crazy shit. He used to go on long walkabouts in the forest all alone, as if he were some kind of spiritual guru. Why, I even heard?—"

"That's enough, Janine."

I startle just as much as the other women at the deep, stern voice. Turning, I stare up at the huge, green-eyed man looming over them.

"Why, Josh," Janine says, practically fanning herself. "I haven't seen you in ages."

"I don't like hearing rumors spread about the Dirty family." I stare in amazement as his piercing glare shuts down the two gossiping women in a heartbeat, then trails across the lunch counter of coffee-drinking men. "Shane Dirty was a fine man, and his family has contributed greatly to this town. Let's not have any malicious gossip about them."

"Of course, Josh. I didn't mean…"

He turns on his heel, already walking away to pick up his order.

After he marches out the door, several of the men at the counter shake their heads. I hear one of them mutter, "Those Wolfe boys are a grouchy lot, but they do a lot of good in this town."

There is more muttering and mumbling about how amazing the Wolfe family is, as I try frantically to scribble down as much as I can. The two women behind me are silent with their shoulders slumped, as if they'd just been chewed out by their favorite movie star.

Once the chatter returns to normal, my mind turns as I stare out the window at the tree line in the distance. I knew that the Wolfe and Dirty families went way back. I didn't realize that they were still so close.

Which makes my mind race off in a different direction. I don't know everything about Carson yet. Here I am making assumptions based on other men instead of the incredible man right in front of me.

This makes me not only a bad person, but also a terrible researcher. What I should be doing is maintaining an open mind while gathering all the facts.

Like the fact that I'm pretty sure I'm already accidentally in love with Carson.

Crap.