Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

ROME

S tarling’s laugh filled the air with a music all of her own. The songs I’d asked them to cue up were based on one of her favorite playlists. We’d had to replace a number of the CDs after the attack on the clubhouse. I didn’t mind so much, it let me involve her in the musical selection and now I knew all of her favorites.

Since then, we’d added to the collection. The current piece was one she’d discovered a few months earlier. After, she’d downloaded and listened to every single song by the group. I didn’t mind it so much, but her attention to it, and subsequent licensing for the current show had earned the Wolfe Pack top spots and more fans.

The jet board twirled as I spun us up and then down again. The current setting wouldn’t take us above twenty feet over the pool. The water was deep enough to cushion any possible fall. While I could go faster once we were on open water, speed wasn’t the goal.

Flying was Starling’s joy. It had been her escape, then it had become her prison—a gilded cage where her wings had been clipped and jesses tied to shackle her in place. Those were all gone now and this tour was about recapturing her joy.

Remaking it.

Rebuilding.

Whatever it took. If she needed a year or ten, she would get it and find every piece she needed. I spun us around as she laughed and then lifted her. It took concentration to balance the shifting center of gravity. I’d practiced every single day this week. Two hours a day while she’d been hard at work in her rehearsals.

The distraction helped. She wanted different. What pleased me more than anything was the way she relaxed into my grip as I raised her up. When her gaze latched onto mine, I said, “Fly.”

Bracing her strength with my own, I was ready when she elongated her legs until she was holding herself almost horizontal. Then I did another spin and laughter spilled out of her.

Her hug was everything. Then she tilted her head back and trusted me to balance her as she went loose like one of her own silks.

The shift in her muscles told me when she was ready and I braced her with a grip on her waist as she planted a hand on my shoulder. She released me with the other arm and we soared over the water with her body curved like one of the doves Vaughn named her after.

For the next hour, we played. She twisted and writhed around me like I was her silk and I kept us airborne. A deep satisfaction filled me at the laughter erupting from her as we wound our way over the water.

Our audience was a handful of techs who were just keeping an eye on the equipment and a pair of security guards hired to keep people out of the pool area. This surprise had been created for her and her alone.

Another laugh escaped her as I held her arms and let her spin out floating on the air and then she was wrapping her arms around me again to close the distance.

“I love this,” she promised, a golden light in her deep brown eyes that made them look lit from behind. Even better, her smile reflected in her voice and her words. There was a effervescence that had been missing over the past few weeks.

“Yes?” I confirmed, slowing the pattern from spinning to more like skating over the air. The swish from side to side reminded me of Liam on a skateboard.

“Absolutely.” She punctuated the promise with a kiss. “Thank you.”

She never had to thank me, but I nodded. Liam told me once that people needed to express their gratitude and it was important to let them. Ms. Stephanie always stressed manners and they were important to Jasper.

It wasn’t something I needed to think about with Starling. Sometimes, she understood without the words at all. Other times, the words brought her comfort. “You’re welcome. I wanted to make you smile.”

“Mission accomplished.” The sigh in her voice could have carried a lot of different meanings. I just trusted her earlier smiles and the words themselves. Starling didn’t lie to me. She might tell me she didn’t want to talk about something, but she didn’t lie.

“Good.”

“I want to learn how to do this though,” she said, then glanced down at my feet in their boots. “I can’t believe you got lessons.”

“You said you liked it.” She’d watched the video so many times. “It would be different.”

“It is different, it’s flying on water and I love it. Can you imagine if we were both on the boards?”

I turned the idea over in my head. “Yes,” I said eventually. “But I couldn’t hold you like this.”

“That is definitely a con,” she agreed. “But I’m also imagining the way we could chase and play…like when you and Liam were tossing me back and forth that day and I was trying to fly again.”

She’d trusted us even when she hadn’t trusted herself. So the idea had merit.

“Maybe we do both,” I told her. “You learn to jet board too. Then we can do both types.”

“Oh!” Her expression brightened. “Yes. Might take us time.”

“We have time,” I promised. “We will make the time too.”

“Can we waltz on the water?”

“Yes.” We could do anything she wanted. I turned us back toward the tech supervising. “Second playlist.”

He gave me a thumbs up as I took her left hand in my right and settled my left on her hip. She smiled up at me and then the music changed. It was another instrumental she’d been considering for her show, and based off a song she adored from Torched.

I followed the beats of the music, swishing back and forth over the water in a twist. When I did a spin, she kicked up her legs and floated before landing perfectly back in place.

More than once, I spun her out like I would let her go to spin away. It took muscle control from both of us, but she never faltered. We spent another hour on the water and we tested so many dances. Most were just fun, but others had her looking thoughtful.

“Maybe,” she said after we’d returned to the ground and I was removing my boots. The air around her was positively electric. “Maybe we look at putting together some elemental numbers for a future show? Even if we never perform them for anyone other than us?”

Once I was out of the boots, I studied her. “Do you want to perform them or just play?”

“Play is important.”

I nodded. It was. She paused when the tech came over to take the fly board. He also handed me a card. “For future lessons. Or set up.” Another nod, then I shook his hand before pulling away, to hold out my hand to Starling.

She clasped mine easily and there was a skip to her step as we headed back inside. They would be opening the lagoon soon to the other guests.

“Not everything needs to be about performing,” she admitted as we made our way through the hotel and across the lobby. We had another couple of hours before Vaughn and Freddie would be back.

It was pizzas, beer, and movies night to cap her day off. They would have finished set up and inspection. The final dress rehearsals would be over the next couple of days and then opening.

“I know that,” she continued as we stepped out into the sunshine again. Her hat had slid down while we danced on the water. I paused to set it back on her head again. “I mean, I know that in here.” She tapped the side of her head. “But my heart still feels like everything should be about the performance.”

Not seeing the problem yet, I guided her toward the boardwalk. When she focused on one of the carts, I followed her glance and then guided her toward the ice cream vendor. She was allowed to have treats.

Her happy little bounce when we got there told me it was the right choice. I let her inspect the offerings. “Can I get a double scoop on a cone of chocolate and strawberry?” When she glanced at me, I nodded and just held up two fingers to the vendor.

He scooped out hers first, then mine. I paid for it and passed her the cone. When she tipped hers to me, I frowned.

“An ice cream toast,” she informed me. “Just tap our scoops together.”

I touched mine to hers and she grinned again. Then we headed back in the direction of our hotel, hand in hand, while we enjoyed the ice cream. She seemed focused on devouring hers, but I didn’t think she was wholly thinking about the ice cream.

“Anyway,” she said, chasing a melting drop of strawberry up from the chocolate with her tongue. “Like I was saying, I know in my head not everything is about the performance. This tour has been amazing, but it’s been missing something…”

I waited for her to work it out.

“Before, the tours were always about getting away from Uncle Fuckbucket and not going home. Don’t get me wrong, I loved performing, but I just didn’t want to be around him.”

“You never have to be again.”

Another quick smile chased the shadows from her eyes as she glanced at me. “I know. I’m glad.”

So was I. Maybe we should have made it hurt more. I wanted him gone though. I wanted to erase him thoroughly from Starling’s life.

“But I don’t want to escape home now,” she said. “Home is with all of you and I love the performing—or maybe I should love it more than I am.” She frowned. “It’s kind of jumbled.”

“Is that why you wanted to learn new sets?”

“Yes,” she said, then shook her head. “And no. Sorry.” She made a face. “I think I’m making it more complicated than it is. I love performing, but I don’t know that I’ve ever been allowed to just love it and not need it desperately.”

I could understand that. “What do you want to do?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I called Sully because I thought that I needed more challenging routines. It took me a while to master the old ones, but I don’t?—”

When she cut herself off, I waited and just worked on my ice cream. We were walking slowly back to the hotel. The breeze from the water cooled the hot sun, but it was hardly chilly. The brightness made for vibrant colors everywhere, but they didn’t stand out the way they did in the harbor.

We passed more art, but Starling wasn’t looking at it as much as she was studying her ice cream cone. That was the problem with some of the works. They were bright colors, but they blended here. Too much light saturated the paint and it lost some impact. There was a stark black and white cartoon done along one side of the beach wall.

That intrigued me because it stood out.

“I want to push myself,” she said, then looked up at me. “I want to take more risks with the dances.”

“Then we take more risks.” I touched my ice cream to the tip of her nose. It left a strawberry smear and I used my finger to wipe it off. She caught my hand and licked the ice cream from my fingers. “But we do it safely.”

“Yes, or Vaughn will be cross.” She scraped her teeth over her lower lip. “But pushing it means, pushing boundaries and taking risks means actually risking the falls to master the new skills.”

He’d be far more than cross. “I’ll talk to him.”

We could still make it safe.

“You don’t mind?”

“Why would I mind?” I wanted her to be happy. She couldn’t see herself when she flew. I could. Flying made her happier than she knew, but she didn’t trust it yet.

She trusted us and that was enough. She needed to trust herself and she was learning to do that.

“Because I make things complicated,” she said and I tilted my head.

“No,” I said. “You don’t. The past makes it complicated. Vaughn makes it solvable. You make it beautiful.”

“Thank you.”

This time, I did ask, “What for?”

“For being you. You’re—you make me believe everything is possible.”

“I like being me,” I said. “Liam’s terrible at it, but I’m not bad at being him.”

For a moment, I could feel her staring at me and when I smiled, she burst out laughing.