Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

EMERSYN

“ S ully!” Surprise fountained through me when the familiar figure turned toward us. We’d just arrived at the theater in Miami where I was scheduled for a couple of weeks of performances. It was in part to make up for the dates I’d canceled to go to Europe, and then we’d added more dates to accommodate the demand and to hold onto the theater we’d wanted.

The shift in the schedule only moved some of my down days and the guys were okay with it. It was utterly worth the trade-off. We’d been there for Milo, Lainey, and the others. We succeeded in closing off wounds we hadn’t even realized were there and now…

I shook off that part as Sullivan Donner dropped off the stage and made his way up the aisle to greet me. It was an old opera house-styled theater that boasted seating capacity for up to two thousand people. It wasn’t the largest venue I’d performed in, but damn it was close.

Skipping ahead a little, I threw myself into a hug at Sully. He caught me easily and chuckled.

“Long time no see, Sprite,” he said, giving me a squeeze before he set me on my feet. He flicked his dark eyes over my head to look behind me so I pivoted to hold out a hand toward Vaughn. “Your escort has definitely improved,” Sully commented.

“Be nice,” I told him as Vaughn slid an arm around me. He didn’t tend to loom over the other dancers, even if he was the tallest guy in the room. Where Sully was concerned, he was definitely a whole head above him. Sully was barely two inches taller than me. Another reason I’d always been comfortable with him. “Sully, this is Rome, Vaughn, and Freddie. Vaughn handles all the rigging, and equipment. If he doesn’t sign off on it, it doesn’t happen.”

That was a bit of warning for him because this was his first time meeting my guys. They were all mine and I’d been clear about that when I spoke to him on the phone. I didn’t spend an unnecessary amount of time explaining my personal life to anyone. Sully Donner, however, wasn’t just anyone.

“Rome knows my routines better than I do and when I need a partner for practice or support, he’s my guy. Freddie handles all my backstage security before, during, and after performances. You don’t get into my dressing room or quiet room without getting cleared by him.”

I didn’t miss the flash of surprised pleasure on Freddie’s face at my description. It was true. I never worried about going backstage or resting in between sets. Freddie picked which of the dressing rooms would be mine and he always changed the locks. It was such a thoughtful thing to do and it always reminded me of my first real encounter with Jasper.

At least the one I remembered, when he was changing out the shitty lock on my dressing room at the theater in Braxton Harbor. The security and peace of mind that offered then hadn’t changed now. With that, I pivoted to look at Sully and let Vaughn pull me back a couple of steps to tuck under his arm.

“Guys, this is Sullivan Donner, the choreographer I told you I wanted to bring in. He helped to design some of my bigger set pieces a few years ago and he was always one of my favorite people in the business.” Reminding them didn’t seem like such a bad idea, because all three were stonily silent during my introductions. “Also known as Sully, and he’s graciously agreed to help me punch up some of my older pieces and help me with new ones.”

I wanted fresh challenges, fresh dances, and fresh movements. It was so hard to explain that now that I was mastering my older routines once more, they didn’t feel like they fit as much. If anything, most of them were more ill-fitting than a polyester suit. They were Emersyn, lost and broken girl hiding from her family on the road and in the dance.

They weren’t me . They weren’t the me I’d become, the Hellspawn or Starling or even Boo-Boo. I’d become a Vandal and I wanted my shows to reflect that.

Vaughn extended a hand to Sully. “Dove has told us about you. It’s interesting to meet you, but to be fair, we did a background check too.”

The latter didn’t even surprise me. It would have been far more astonishing if they hadn’t.

Sully raised his brows then gripped Vaughn’s hand easily. “Glad to hear you’re looking after her. I take it, I passed muster.” It wasn’t a question or a joke. But Rome merely shrugged without answering.

Freddie, on the other hand, smirked. “You’re here and you got to hug her.” In other words, if he hadn’t, this conversation wouldn’t even be happening. “Just to be clear, do anything to hurt her and it won’t matter what your background check said.”

Vaughn sighed. “I was going to put it a little more politely.”

“I wasn’t,” Rome said. “Blunt is better.”

“Agreed,” Sully said and a flicker of surprise rippled over the guys’ faces. Well, over Freddie’s and Vaughn’s. “I like to know where I stand.” With that, however, he met each of their gazes individually. “Just to keep us all on the same page, I’m the choreographer and she’s the performer. All final decisions on set pieces will be made by her.”

“With consultation,” I amended before he incited a riot. “Vaughn has to know the equipment demands. Previously, there were near misses and close calls. No one wants those.”

“As long as you are satisfied with that caveat,” Sully said. “Then I can work within it. But you’re asking for some new routines to start training when you’re only four days out from an opening here . That’s a lot of pressure, Sprite.”

I grinned for real this time. “I like that kind of pressure. I need to be pushed again. It’s been a long time since someone pushed me.”

Rome was the closest to pushing when it came to dance and performance. But he didn’t push so much as offer such unwavering support and faith. He didn’t let my fear dissuade him, and his steadfastness kept me from giving into that fear.

If I failed and I fell, I’d get back up again.

He knew it and his knowledge meant I didn’t forget.

But Sully was different. He wouldn’t hold back on his critical appraisal of my abilities and he’d also push me if he thought I was limiting myself.

“Be careful what you ask for,” Sully warned. “I tend to be a bit of an asshole when I train.”

“It’s okay,” I assured him. “I still like you.”

“Fine, then get into some training gear and warm up. We’re going to do some ground runs before we go aerial.”

We hadn’t even begun the bump in yet. “I thought you’d want to review my current shows first…”

He held up his phone. “Been catching up since you called. I already have some ideas. Now, move your ass. We have a limited amount of time to get you at least one new routine before this series of shows opens. No sense in wasting it.”

My mouth popped open a little. I’d just said I wanted to be pushed, but I hadn’t expected him to take me so literally. Snapping my mouth closed, I glanced at Freddie. I didn’t have a dressing room yet.

“I got you, Boo-Boo.” Then he held out a hand to me. Him asking for contact was always a huge thing. I had my own duffel with practice gear in it so I shifted the weight then slid my grip into his. “We’ll be back in fifteen.”

“Make it ten,” Sully said. The shifting temperature made me bite my lower lip even as I trotted along with Freddie toward the stage itself. The guys would be doing a full sweep, but Freddie would get me a dressing room sorted and guard it so I could change without any concerns.

“You’ll take fifteen,” Freddie said over his shoulder. “Or I’ll make it thirty.” He sounded positively smug about it.

“You’re going to make fetch happen, aren’t you?” At my question, Freddie shot me an amused smile.

“You want fetch to happen, Boo-Boo. Then we’ll damn well make fetch happen.” He was so damn serious, it made me giggle. Once we reached backstage, he shifted his grip from my hand. “You got your gun?” The last bit was asked in a low voice.

I patted the holster on my hip that was hidden by Vaughn’s huge sweatshirt. Liam had been working on getting me a carry license and a concealed carry license in every state I could possibly need it. I wasn’t even sure if Florida was on the list yet, but the guys were firm, I was armed at all times unless I was actually on stage or in practice.

Even then, I always had backup.

“Good. Stay behind me.” He took point. The backstage area was quiet, lights on and while there was a crew who worked at the theater, they weren’t going to be working on my equipment or bump-in. We brought our own people. So unsurprisingly, the backstage was mostly empty.

As quiet as it was and decorated in puddles of light from the overheads, a peace rippled over me. I loved the feeling of a theater at all stages of a performance. From now, when it was in resting mode. Then when activity picked up during bump-in and rehearsals, to the night of performances when the energy thrummed through the building.

Freddie led the way down the hall. He had his phone in one hand, but his attention wasn’t on it so much as the doors along the hall. Without consulting for directions, he led me right to the stairs that took us down to a lower level. A blanket of silence enveloped us as we descended.

The stairs opened out into a wider hallway with signs pointing toward different stage access points, including an elevator that would take me right up to the rafters. Freddie inspected each door along the hall, but he angled to put me closer to the elevator. It meant when I came down or went up, I’d be right here.

I liked that. He did a full scan of the hall before he opened the first of the doors and I moved to put my back to the wall next to the door. It let me watch both ways down the hall. It also meant I could warn him if trouble came looking for us.

In the room, Freddie grunted. At his snort, I suppressed another smile. A long sigh accompanied his reappearance. “Don’t like this one. Next.” Three more rooms were inspected, but it was the fifth one we visited that made him happiest. “C’mon in, Boo-Boo.”

I slipped inside to see what had finally met his requirements. There was a sofa, a makeup counter, a separate bathroom and a closet. Pretty standard, well for the headliners. The chorus performers and the supporting players might have to share a room or they had to use one of the bigger makeup areas. Private room or not, they had communal bathrooms.

That used to never bother me. Just like nudity didn’t bother me. Particularly after Eric though, I liked the ability to lock a door and pee in peace. The guys were even more particular. They didn’t pay a lick of attention to any of the dancers walking around in partially dressed or undressed states. But Vaughn didn’t care for them being able to see me, and for Freddie?

Well, for Freddie it wasn’t even a question. He didn’t want to see them and he didn’t want them seeing me. It was just easier for him all the way around. That was worth more to me than all the rest combined.

“I like it,” I said. “Will you make sure they set up my gear in here?”

“Yep,” he said. “You want me to stay or go while you change?” Normally, in an empty theater, he would just step out without asking. He only asked when others were present in the building.

“You are always welcome,” I assured him as I stripped the sweatshirt off. I’d need to take off my gun and holster. Freddie would take it while I performed until my gun safe was brought in with the rest of my equipment. I had a tank top on under the sweatshirt. “Are you okay with staying?”

He scratched at his jaw, then shoved a hand through his hair. The blond locks were getting longer again and I rather liked the length on it. He hadn’t gotten a haircut since we got on the road. Vaughn had and so had Rome, but not Freddie.

“I want to stay,” he admitted and I locked gazes with him in the mirror. A quick frown tightened his brow. “That’s okay, right?”

“Of course it is,” I said, pivoting to face him. “You just—you never tell me when you want something lately. You always have me choose unless it’s really about security.” In those cases, it was never a question for any of us.

“Maybe it’s time some of that changed,” he said and I couldn’t stop my smile. “I don’t know what it will look like, but I want to find out.” The uncertainty in him was still there and I wanted to…

“Can I hug you?” Contact was still on his terms, period.

With a sheepish expression, he opened his arms and met me more than halfway. I crashed into him and wrapped my arms around him tight. He smelled like my shampoo and soap. He’d taken his shower this morning right after me. I loved it when he used my products. It was stupid, but it just let me feel close even when he was holding himself apart.

“I really am trying, Boo-Boo,” he admitted in a low voice.

I fisted his shirt and kept my face pressed to his shoulder. Some things were just easier to address when we couldn’t see each other. Honesty sometimes required anonymity. “You don’t have to do a damn thing you don’t want to do. Ever. The only thing I need from you is for you to be happy.”

“But you want more.” It wasn’t a question. At that, I leaned back and met his troubled gaze. “I know you do.” With care, he raised his hand but he didn’t touch me without me nodding. Then he cupped my cheek so gently it made tears burn in my eyes. “The thing is—I want it too. I want to touch you and have you touch me, so the only things I feel and see are you.”

“If only it were that easy,” I murmured and he let out a long breath. “Of course, I understand. I will always understand it and that’s why in this—it’s about what you want and what you need. You set the tone and you set the pace. I’m good with everything. You want me to get on my knees and let you fuck my mouth while I don’t touch you? I will do that.”

His pupils dilated at the statement and his lips parted.

“You want me to bend over and let you fuck me from behind while I can’t see or touch you—I will do that too. I mean it, Freddie. You touching me is not a bad thing. It will never be a bad thing. So if that’s what you need to do to touch me, my answer will always be yes.”

The stroke of his thumb over my lower lip sent tingles shimmering through my system. “I may take you up on that.”

Oh, my heart bounced at the suggestion.

“I heard that sigh,” he said with a faint grin of his own. The fatness of his pupils betrayed his arousal and there was a hint of a flush to his own cheeks. “I share it…you still have the prettiest pussy I’ve ever seen and ever will see.”

“Thank you. I rather liked your dick the one time I felt it.”

That earned me a dry stare before he started laughing. Then he pressed his forehead to mine. “I adore you, Boo-Boo.”

“That’s cause I’m fetch .”

He laughed harder and gave me a gentle squeeze. After, he steadied me before he stepped back. “While we’re working on this touching thing, I have one more request.”

“Tell me.”

“Teach me to dance?”

I blinked.

“I know you’ll have to touch me when we do that and we’ll have on clothes and stuff, but I’m asking you to push me a little that way. Teach me how to dance with you.”

“Yes,” I whispered. “I’d say we could start right now…”

“I know,” he said, then gave me a slow smile. “You’ll also have kept him waiting thirty-five minutes by the time we get back up there.”

He was so damn pleased with himself, I burst out laughing. “One more hug?”

“How about this?” He dipped his head and pressed his lips to mine. It was a there and then gone again kiss but it sent another cascade of warmth through my system. “I’ll save you a hug for after your first practice with him.”

“That’s definitely something to look forward to!” I hurried to change, because he wasn’t wrong. I was going to have kept Sully waiting and I didn’t even care. What I cared about was that Freddie didn’t take his gaze off me as I changed. “Freddie?”

“Hmm?”

I glanced over my shoulder at him. “I can’t wait to dance with you.”

“Here’s hoping I don’t suck,” he said with a shake of his head.

“You won’t, but you will still have to do one thing for me,” I informed him as I pulled on my leotard. Once I was in it, I pulled my hair back and Freddie eyed me with a hint of apprehension.

“What?”

“You’re going to have to pick your favorite song,” I told him as I pivoted. “Fast. Slow. Hard. Gentle. Rock. Rap. I don’t care what it is, you pick the music and then we’ll dance.”

He blew out a long breath. “I can do that.”

With a grin, I finished pulling on my ballet flats so I didn’t go barefoot all the way through the back. Freddie locked up behind us as I began to half-dance, half-jog down the hall to the stairs. I was a mess of wild energy and as excited as I was to work with Sully again, nothing could top the last thirty minutes.

Nothing.