Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

EMERSYN

T he party had lasted well into the night, the pure surprise on Kellan’s face when he arrived at the restaurant had been worth all the secrecy that involved us returning to town in time for the surprise party. Mickey had waited until we said we were there before he went to get Kellan.

“Hey,” Kellan said, his voice low and husky with sleep as he snaked an arm around my middle and pulled me back to him.

It had been late when we got back to the Clubhouse and we’d celebrated until I was yawning so hard I couldn’t see straight. Then Kellan scooped me up and said, birthday privilege and off we went to his room. Curling up with him wrapped around me had been—divine. I’d missed them so much.

“Where are you going?” He nuzzled a kiss to my throat as he tugged me back into him.

“I need to pee,” I told him, a yawn smothering my laughter even as he snuggled me closer.

“It can wait.” The sleepy notes in his voice were endearing, even more, the hint of plaintiveness.

“I wish it could,” I whispered, stroking his forearm. “I will come right back, I promise.”

Another butterfly light kiss to my throat and a huffing complaint. “Hmm…” Then he lifted his head and seemed to be squinting toward his door. “Right, I locked it. Okay. Off you go, pee and come right back.”

He delivered the last line with a swat to my ass and I couldn’t help the giggles that escaped as I rolled off the bed. Kellan was always so in control, so calm, and direct. The demanding petulance was refreshingly sweet.

I hurried into the bathroom, peed, then washed my hands and face before I brushed my teeth real quick. Then grabbed a glass of water to take back out with me. Kellan lay on his back, one arm behind his head like a pillow. The drape of the sheet did nothing to hide his morning wood.

He was shirtless, but I was also wearing one of his shirts and I hadn’t bothered with panties when we got back in here last night. As it was, I enjoyed the way he studied me through half-lowered lids.

“You’re too far away, Sparrow,” he said in a voice still rough from sleep and maybe from laughter. The night before had been amazing. Liam arranged for us to have the whole restaurant to ourselves.

Lainey and Milo had been there. Ezra and Adam showed up a little later, and the only one who hadn’t made it was Bodhi, but Lainey said he was with his brother. Andrea had tagged along and that had made Theo happy. They’d been thick as thieves all night until Andrea had to leave.

“I’ve missed you,” I told him, abandoning the bathroom door to cross to the bed with the glass in hand. I walked up onto the bed on my knees and made my way up to him.

He dropped a hand to my hip as I straddled his hips before I took another drink of the glass of water before I offered it to him. He pushed up and took it before downing a long drink. Then the glass went to the nightstand and his gaze came back to me.

“I missed you too,” he said, tracing his fingers down my cheek. “Seeing you in Prague was almost too much and not enough.”

It had been wonderful to see him there, despite the reasons that had taken us there. “Agreed,” I said, sighing as I leaned my cheek into his hand. “I wanted to spend more time with you… with all of you. There was so much going on and then we were leaving and there was Theo…”

Theo added so much more of a new wrinkle to everything.

“Have I said thank you about him yet?” I covered his hand on my cheek as I gazed into his blue eyes. Even in the dim lighting, it felt like his eyes glowed. Then again, I’d memorized everything about him over the past few years. Everything about all of them.

“For Theo?” Kellan raised his brows as he slid his hands under my shirt to rest against my bare hips. “You don’t have to thank me for that, Sparrow. He’s family.”

The easy acceptance in his voice and his tone made me sigh. “I don’t think he knows what to think about me.”

“He knows you’re his big sister and that you brought your whole show to Prague to save him and the other kids.” Despite his calm certainty, I still frowned. “Right now… He’s struggling with a lot of things. From the way he was raised to his identity to who he can trust. As someone who was once a fourteen year old boy, if I had a big sister like you—I’d have treasured every moment with her.”

“He doesn’t know me though.”

“He wants to know you. That’s as important. He’s not demanding the time with you or trying to get arrested daily for attention.”

I grimaced at the description, but Kellan chuckled.

“Trust me, we’ve all been there. Me. Vaughn. Even Jasper and Freddie.”

The mention of Freddie brought another sigh out of me.

“He’s one of us, Sparrow. Whether he knows it or not. Whether he’s ready to hear it or not, he’s a Vandal. We’ll keep him safe.”

I knew that. I’d known that from the beginning. Stretching down, I brushed my nose to his. “Sorry…”

“If you apologize to me because you’re bringing me what you’re worried about and letting me address it, I’m going to spank that gorgeous ass of yours until it’s shiny and red.”

My cunt clenched along with my thighs at the description. “Well, technically, I wasn’t going to apologize for that.”

“Uh huh.” Amusement populated his voice. “Then what were you saying sorry for?”

Busted. Still, I didn’t mind anything Kellan wanted to do to me. The man held my heart and my soul, and he’d done everything in his power, along with all the other Vandals, to help me reclaim my body and my mind. “For getting distracted from you and going back to sleep.”

His snort was worth the playful tease. He tugged me forward, then wrapped a hand around my nape. “I don’t care if I haven’t seen you for five minutes, five days, five months or five years—though if it’s five years, trust me when I say you and I will have a lot of words about that—if you need to talk to me about anything, Sparrow, I am here for you.”

A true giggle escaped me. “No way would I let it be five years. I don’t even like more than five weeks.”

Personally, the longest we’d done was six weeks, then a week of downtime, then back on the road again.

“The tour has been extended twice now, but this is a longer break.” We hadn’t really had time to discuss this the night before. “The crew is taking a well-earned break. I released the dancers for a month, so they could take their own breaks or do other gigs in the meanwhile, then we’ll meet up back here in Braxton Harbor to train for the next leg.”

“Four weeks?” Kellan’s smile deepened. “That’s a whole month, Sparrow. I like your confidence and I’m glad everyone is here, but I hope you aren’t planning on a lot of sleep.”

That made me laugh harder. The guys always put my care far ahead of their own. I wasn’t concerned. “Good thing for all of you that being back in peak performance means I have loads of energy.”

“Yes,” he said slowly, stroking his hand down to my ass. The shirt had slid up and he took the time to rub one cheek and then the other. It was gentle petting interspersed with deeper massaging squeezes. Once upon a time, even the suggestion of it would trigger me.

The only thing it made me want to do right now was stretch out like a cat. Particularly with his cock firmly set between my thighs, though a sheet still separated us.

“Are you really enjoying your tour, Sparrow?” The quiet question brought my mind to the present and up from where he was touching me.

“I am,” I said slowly. “I told you about making changes, right?”

“Yes,” he said. “I want to hear more about those while you’re here. It’s not just about the silks, but the stage work, and you’re adding more challenges.”

I smiled. Yes, he always listened to every single word. I soaked up the admission to store away for when self-doubt plagued me. “Yes, Rome is going to perform with me. I want to do more partner work again, some of these I can totally do on my own and I’ll be good at them.”

Cocky? Maybe, but I was pushing my own limits and there were a couple of these I had coming up that would give everyone pause. I truly couldn’t wait.

“I need to be pushed out of my comfort zone though,” I confessed. “This isn’t about sex so much as trusting outside of the bedroom, trusting on the stage and in the air.”

“Rome will never hurt you,” Kellan said, not that I needed the assurance.

“I know he won’t. He also knows my routines better than I do sometimes. I worried when he first volunteered that he was only offering because I wanted someone to partner with.”

“But you don’t think that’s the only reason now?” He was drawing circles against my hips while I rested my chin on my forearms. I draped him like his favorite blanket. There was something utterly magnificent about being together like this.

“No, I know it’s not. I think he wants to push himself too. And I get the feeling he wants to perform with me.”

“Good,” Kellan exhaled the word. “He’s been your biggest fan forever. I know he used to watch every single recording, picked up the discs when they were released and more than once, if he got to see you perform, he recorded it himself. He loves to watch you move.”

I knew that. “I love to dance with him too. I’m looking forward to those rehearsals. I just want to make sure it’s not too much, you know?”

“You’ll listen to him,” Kellan said, brushing a stray strand of hair away from my face and tucking it behind my ear. “You’ll look after him the way he looks after you. The two of you have your own language.”

Did we? I frowned.

“It’s like Liam and Rome, the twins always understand each other. I get Rome most of the time and even when I don’t, I’ve learned to just accept him as he is. But you hear everything he doesn’t say.”

“I hear you too…” I didn’t want him to think that I didn’t.

“Shh,” Kellan said, pressing his finger to my lips. “You loving Rome, or any of the other guys, takes nothing away from me. It never has and never will. You share a connection with each of them that is unique and vital. Just like what you share with me is about us and not them.”

I blew out a low breath. “You all matter to me.”

“I know we do,” he assured me before leaning up to press a kiss to my lips. “Now tell me what else is worrying you, because you’re dancing around it Sparrow, and I can’t fix it if you don’t tell me what it is.”

I turned that description over in my head. Was I really dancing around it? As soon as he pointed it out, however, I saw the truth in the sentiment. “Freddie asked me to teach him to dance.”

There were things about each of them that they would never confess to the others. The secrets they confided in me, they were to be protected. Even if they already knew them, just as they shielded me the same way. We needed to trust each other.

“Okay,” Kellan said. “That’s good, right?”

“Yes,” I said swiftly and then added, “But I don’t want him to hurt himself. Before you scold me and tell me I need to support him in making his own decisions, I absolutely plan on it… but I want his lessons to start while we’re here on the break. Somewhere he feels safe and secure.”

“Ah,” Kellan said then began to nod. “You want me to buy you time with the guys?”

“I absolutely want time with all of you. We all need it.” Family time was paramount. “I need to spend some time with Theo, but I don’t want anyone to feel neglected if I focus on Freddie for a bit.”

“Particularly because Freddie is on the road with you.” Kellan nodded again. “I get it, Sparrow. I’ll take care of it.”

Relief spilled through me, easing the tension I hadn’t even realized had knotted me up. “You know I adore all of you.”

“Yes,” he said, giving me another kiss. “I do and so does everyone else. We love Freddie too, and if he’s asking you for what he needs, Sparrow and you’re telling me what you need—then we’ll take care of it.”

I had no idea how much I needed that reassurance before he told me and I kissed him. The pressure of my lips to his wasn’t as much about passion or desire as a fierce declaration of the connection between us.

“Thank you,” I whispered.

“It’s going to be my pleasure,” he told me, and then he flipped us so I was on the bottom and the sheet slipped away. “And yours.” He nibbled another kiss before he paused to raise his head and study me. “Unless there’s anything else you’d like me to fix?”

“Can we get burgers later?”

His laughter was its own reward. “We can get anything you want.” Then his mouth fused to mine and I wrapped my arms around his neck. I had nowhere else I needed or wanted to be.