Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

I can’t believe this, but things don’t actually look up. They leap up. They soar up. They are positively hurled up into the glittering sky.

Okay, maybe that’s kind of dramatic. But is it really? Somehow, within just one day, it feels like things have completely changed for me, and it’s all thanks to Liam sticking to his word. Today, when we’re told to go into our groups and work on our projects, I get the now-familiar feeling of my stomach lurching and my chest tightening, making it harder to breathe. I hate these sessions so much. I hate Jonas’s obnoxious I’m-in-charge-of-this attitude and Peishan’s indifference and Liam’s silence. But as we put our books away, Liam meets my eye and gives me the tiniest nod. The tightness in my chest loosens, just a little.

“Great news, guys,” Jonas says. “That illustrator I was telling you about agreed to illustrate our game’s cover!”

What the hell? I stare at him. There’s so much wrong with his statement I don’t even know where to begin. Have I zoned out so much over the past few days that I’ve completely missed all the stupid crap Jonas has been up to?

“Hang on, what illustrator?” I say. “Are we even supposed to hire professional illustrators? Doesn’t that kind of go against the whole point of a school project?”

Jonas rolls his eyes and keeps talking, as though I haven’t said anything. “He costs quite a bit, like three thousand US dollars, but it’s fine, guys, don’t worry about it, I’ve got it covered.”

“Actually,” Liam says, straightening up in his seat, “Kiki made a good point. First off, I don’t think we’re supposed to be hiring anyone. We’re supposed to do everything ourselves.”

“Dude,” Jonas groans. “Come on, this is gonna count toward our final grades. It’s not the time to be all virtuous and shit, okay?”

“Who’s the artist?” Peishan says.

Jonas brightens up and turns on his iPad. “You guys are gonna freak out when you see his work. He did the concept art for the latest Tomb Raider, and Metal Gear Solid, and…”

The more he talks, the more I want to groan, because I know the character designs for these games, and the female characters are known for—

“See?” Jonas says, holding up his iPad. And yep, just as I thought, it’s a collage of illustrations of female characters with melon-sized boobs and tiny waists, dressed in outfits so tight that I wonder how they move without everything squeaking.

I can’t help snorting. “Seriously, Jonas? I mean, this is worse even than what I was expecting, and trust me, my expectations were already at rock bottom.”

“Gamers have a very specific art style, okay, Crazy Kiki?” Jonas snaps. “Just because you don’t understand it—”

“Um, actually, I don’t like them either,” Liam says. “They’re too…I don’t think the school would approve. And can we cool it with the whole ‘Crazy Kiki’ thing?”

Golden light floods my chest, flowing all the way down my arms, warming my cheeks. I thought that I didn’t need anyone standing up for me. And I don’t; I’m more than able to stand up for myself. But still, when Liam tells Jonas to back off from the “Crazy Kiki” thing, I feel as though he’s just reached down into a very dark tunnel and pulled me out. I try not to stare at Liam, but I’ll admit it, it’s a challenge.

“Obviously, we would ask him to tone it down for our project, make it more school-appropriate,” Jonas says slowly, as though we’re particularly stupid, completely ignoring the “Crazy Kiki” comment.

“Why not just do it ourselves to begin with, so we don’t have to mess around with this…this mess?” I say.

Jonas narrows his eyes at me. “Oh, you can draw this well, can you?”

Admittedly, ignoring the humongous boobs and hyper-arched backs, this artist is gifted. His drawings are well-rendered, light and shadow painted on meaningfully to bring them to life. I mean, he’s a pro. There’s no way I would be able to draw as well as he does.

“That’s the point: none of us are pros,” Liam says. “What you’re proposing is actually cheating, and I’m not prepared to risk flunking the whole project because you don’t want to do the work.”

Oooh, snap.

“Yeah, I don’t really wanna cheat either,” Peishan mutters. “Sorry, but if anyone ever found out, we’d be expelled.”

“They won’t find out unless one of you squeals,” Jonas hisses.

“Oh, shut up, Jonas. And your design sucks, okay? All of this?” I gesture at the collage of cartoon women. “It’s all really sexist, and I’m over it. Vote to scrap it all and start over?”

“Aye,” Liam says immediately, raising his hand. “Agreed, it’s sexist and I have faith we can come up with something better.”

There’s a moment of shocked silence. Everything inside me is fighting against meeting Peishan’s eye, but when I finally do, I see that there’s some sort of internal battle raging behind her placid features. Liam looks at her and nods, and Peishan’s features soften. Sighing, she nods. “Aye. I agree, I’d like us to come up with something that’s less…booby.”

Oh my god. I can’t believe it. It’s as though golden light is spearing down into me, bringing everything back to life. I smirk at Jonas. “The ayes have it. We’re starting over.”

Okay, so maybe that was somewhat obnoxious, but hey, can anyone blame me?

Jonas snaps his mouth shut and looks like he’s grinding his teeth for a moment. Then he forces a smile. “Sure, okay. Whatever you guys want. I’m a team player.” Like hell he is. In school and on Warfront Heroes, I know he’s the opposite of a team player. But it doesn’t even matter, because there are three of us and only one of him.

When the recess bell goes off, I automatically start heading for the library. A few steps outside of the classroom, I sense a presence next to me. I look up and do a double take, because Liam is walking beside me. He smiles at me and my insides go all gooey. God, I thought Liam was cute before, but after what just happened in class, he’s gone from cute to absolutely edible, and I’m not prepared to deal with it.

“This is not the way to the canteen,” I say.

Liam nods slowly. “Believe it or not, after spending the last ten years here, I’m aware of that.”

“So why are you headed this way? Are you following me? Is this a Joe Goldberg situation?”

Liam raises his eyebrows. “Okay, first of all, I’ve been going to the library during break a lot longer than you have. Second of all, are you kidding me? I am not setting foot in the canteen after that showdown with Jonas.”

“Are you scared?” I tease.

“Uh, yeah? I was practically shitting my pants back there.”

I’m so caught off guard by his honesty that I double over laughing.

“Like you weren’t scared too?” Liam cries.

“I very definitely was. I mean, I of all people know what Jonas is capable of. I just—” I take a breath between laughter. “I guess I was expecting you to be, like, ‘I am man, I not scared of anything.’ ”

“Oh, right.” Liam puffs out his chest. “Well, obviously I am very manly and not scared of anything. Except privileged billionaires who can make my life a living hell. And cockroaches.”

“Cockroaches?” I shake my head in disbelief. “You realize we live in Jakarta? The big durian? I see a roach literally every day.”

Liam shrugs, his cheeks turning adorably pink. “They creep me out, what can I say?”

“Fair enough. I—”

“Ci Kiki!”

“Oh god,” I hiss, “don’t move!”

“Are you hiding behind me?” Liam says.

“Don’t move, I said!”

“Ci Kiki!” Eleanor Roosevelt calls out again, and this time, she sounds closer.

“You know we can see you hiding behind the hot guy,” Sarah Jessica Parker says flatly.

“Thank you,” Liam says.

With a sigh, I slink out from behind Liam’s back (noting for a second how broad his shoulders are). “Hey, girls. How’s it going?”

“We should be asking you that,” Eleanor Roosevelt cries. “We’ve sent you fourteen messages in total, and you’ve ignored every single one of them.”

“According to the contract you signed, you are obligated to check in with us after each Lil’ Aunties date to give a detailed report of the date.”

My mouth falls open. I gape at them, then at Liam, who’s openly staring at us, and back at them. “It’s not really—uh—I’ll update you later.”

“Are you two loan sharks?” Liam says.

Eleanor Roosevelt frowns at him. “What? Obviously, we’re entrepreneurs.”

“Pretty sure that’s what loan sharks call themselves nowadays too. I’m just saying, I’m getting a somewhat threatening vibe from you.”

“Thank you.” Eleanor Roosevelt preens.

“It’s not a compliment,” I say, but it seems that I’ve been forgotten for the moment, because suddenly Eleanor Roosevelt and Sarah Jessica’s attention is riveted on Liam. Sensing their interest, Liam takes a hesitant step back.

“What’s your name?” Eleanor Roosevelt asks.

“Uh. Liam?”

“Year Eleven?” Sarah Jessica says.

“Um, yes?”

They exchange a look and nod. “Okay, you’re in.”

“In what, exactly?”

“In our highly sought-after matchmaking program,” Eleanor Roosevelt says. “Congratulations. We do have a waiting list, but since you’re such a fine specimen of a Year Eleven boy, we’ll let you in. I’ll forward the contract and NDA to you by the end of the workday.”

“An NDA?”

“It stands for nondisclosure agreement,” Sarah Jessica says.

“I was going to ask why you need me to sign an NDA,” Liam says, “but you know what? A matchmaking service that requires an NDA sounds like exactly the kind of thing I would regret not joining.”

We all gape at him. “You might want to think it through first,” I whisper to him.

“We do not condone slander,” Sarah Jessica says, narrowing her eyes at me.

Eleanor Roosevelt nods. “Yeah, Ci Kiki, I love you, but slander is an actionable offense. And you should be actively marketing our product, given you have shares in the company.”

I pinch the bridge of my nose. These kids, I swear.

“I’m in,” Liam says with way too much confidence.

Eleanor Roosevelt and Sarah Jessica grin at each other. Their grins say: Ha, what a sucker. Poor Liam has no idea what he’s in for.

But then an idea surfaces. Maybe I could use this to my advantage. I could—hmm—ah! I could help fill out Liam’s Lil’ Aunties profile, which would give me the chance to find out just who it is he has a crush on. Mwahaha!

“I’ll help you,” I blurt out. They all stare at me. “Um, you guys are right. I have a vested interest in the company. I’ll help you fill out your profile. That’ll expedite the process.” I give the world’s most innocent smile to the girls.

Both Eleanor Roosevelt and Sarah Jessica look somewhat dubious, but then Eleanor Roosevelt shrugs and says, “Okay. Make sure he signs the NDA before you start building his profile, though.”

These kids are way too into their NDA. “Just out of curiosity,” Liam says, “how many profiles do you have in your database?”

At this, Eleanor Roosevelt and Sarah Jessica look shifty-eyed. “Only a handful,” Eleanor Roosevelt says.

One corner of Liam’s mouth crooks up into a small smile. He looks utterly adorable. “Only a handful, huh? But you two are confident that you’ll be able to find me a perfect match within such a small pool?”

The shifty looks intensify. “Never you mind that,” Eleanor Roosevelt says cryptically.

“Eleanor Roosevelt, can I just remind you that George asked me to keep you out of trouble?” I say.

Both Eleanor Roosevelt and Sarah Jessica give me this look, like, Who are you kidding, lady? and I can’t say I blame them. Pretty sure that nobody, not even a seasoned CIA agent or marine captain, could keep these two out of trouble.

Sarah Jessica pats my arm. “The less you know, the better. Plausible deniability.”

“Oh for god’s sake,” I groan. “It was awful, okay? He took one look at me and noped out of there because he didn’t want to go on a date with, and I quote, ‘Crazy Kiki.’ And that’s that. Date over.”

Eleanor Roosevelt and Sarah Jessica Parker look so horrified that, for a second, I actually feel bad for them. They look so young and innocent, and though they knew that the date hadn’t gone well, they probably had no idea just how badly it had gone.

“That’s so messed up,” Liam says.

“Did Jeremiah not tell you that part?” I say in a gentler voice.

The girls shake their heads. “He only said that we should’ve told him who the date was going to be with,” Eleanor Roosevelt says.

“And then he quit the service,” Sarah Jessica adds.

“He quit? In your texts, you made it sound like you kicked him out,” I say.

The two girls look down guiltily at their feet. But of course, since this is Eleanor Roosevelt we’re talking about, the guilt doesn’t keep her down for long. In the next moment, she grins up at me and says, “But don’t you worry, Ci, we’ll make it up to you.”

Sarah Jessica nods.

“Uh, no need, I’m totally fine. I think it’s better if I lie low….”

“I insist,” Eleanor Roosevelt says, beaming. “Don’t you worry about a thing. We’ve got it all under control.”

And with that, they march off, leaving Liam and me gaping after them.

“What just happened?” Liam says. “Why do I feel like I’ve just been drafted into something bordering on illegal?”

I bite back my smile. “You’re probably not way off there.”

Liam nods slowly. “Should I be scared?”

“Yes,” I say without hesitation, then I can’t help but laugh, and it feels good to laugh in school. To laugh non-ironically, to laugh and have it be not about laughing to hide my hurt or sadness or shame. To laugh purely because I find the situation funny. To laugh with…a friend. It hits me then how long it’s been since I could laugh like this with someone at school.

That was the first day of change. The next project meeting we have, Liam and Peishan start speaking up more. What about a puzzle game? Or a gentle farming game? Or, sure, an FPS, but one that’s meant for everyone and not just for a very specific subsection of the audience? Jonas becomes increasingly quiet and more sullen, and while his grumpy silence makes things somewhat awkward, I’m really good at ignoring his presence.

Even though the change is great, I still retain my nickname of Crazy Kiki. I guess it’ll take more than just our little group changing its dynamics to get rid of the nickname, but you know what? I can live with it.

---

A handful of days go by, and Liam and I no longer feel the need to spend recess hiding away in the library. We start going to the canteen for food, where Liam slurps at his soto ayam. I’m not sure how he makes eating chicken soup noisily adorable. “Argh.” He looks down in dismay at the yellow spatters on his shirt.

I can’t help but laugh. In addition to being kind of a noisy eater, he’s also really messy. At the end of every meal, his plate or bowl is surrounded by little spatters of food, which he’s considerate enough to clean up. He glances at my clean eating space and goes, “How do you manage that?” and it’s so cute I could just die.

“I came prepared.” I whip out a packet of baby wipes and hand one to him.

“Thanks.” Liam scrubs at his uniform, and the stains get wider.

“No, not like that.” I grab the wipe from him and dab at his shirt. “See, gently, like this, so you’re not spreading the stain everywhere.”

It strikes me then that I’m touching him. With my hands. My hands, which are on his body.

My head explodes like a watermelon. Or at least that’s what it feels like. And now that I’ve realized this, I can’t unperceive it. My hands! Are on his chest! I can feel his pecs! Ooh, his pecs. They are very…pec-y. My tongue darts out and licks my dry lips. It’s official: I am a pervert. I jerk back as though touching him has burned me. I can’t even look him in the eye. My fingertips are tingling where they touched his pecs. I give him the wipe and mutter something like “I think you get the gist.”

Liam takes it from me, his fingers brushing the back of my hand, leaving a tingling line, and dabs at his shirt.

All right, time for me to start Operation Find Out Who’s Liam’s Crush. I clear my throat. “So Eleanor Roosevelt told me that you’ve signed the contract and NDA for the Lil’ Aunties?”

“Oh yeah.” Liam shakes his head. “I really wasn’t expecting a twenty-page contract. I showed it to my dad, who’s a lawyer, and he was very impressed. And concerned. But I assured him it was for a good cause.”

I have to bite back my smile at the image of Liam convincing his dad to let him join Lil’ Aunties. “So now that you’re officially in, we should start building your profile.”

“Okay,” Liam says easily. He pushes his bowl aside and leans forward, resting his elbows on the table. Surely, he must know how irresistible he is. He must.

I take out my phone so I can take notes. Also so I have something else to stare at besides Liam’s annoyingly handsome face. “Okay, first question: What are you looking for in an SO?”

He shrugs. Is it just me or do his eyes seem to soften as he looks at me? It feels like he’s looking at an old friend. There’s a soft, familiar comfort in his expression, and I wonder if he’s going to realize that I am Dudebro10. “Someone who’s into the same stuff I am, I guess.”

“Warfront Heroes?” The moment the words fall out of my mouth, I wish I could grab them and cram them back inside.

He smiles. “Yeah, I would love to play with my girlfriend.”

Oh my god. The thought of playing together with Liam, and not as Dudebro10 but as his girlfriend, fries my insides to a crisp. I would kill to do that. Oh yeah.

“Girl gamer, got it.” It meeee, my insides squeak. “Anything else?”

“I mean, I’m into making breads, but that’s a me-thing, so I don’t feel the need to be doing that with anyone else. Would be great if she’s into eating them, though.” He takes a sip of his drink. “I would love to be able to bake for her.”

My muscles all turn into goo. This is impossible. A guy who wants to bake for his girlfriend? I want to shake my fist at the universe and scream, What are you doing to me? I nod and make a big show of typing everything on my phone. “I think you’re going to be quite popular.”

“Really? I don’t know, my breads might actually suck.”

“Oh, right.” Somehow, I never even gave that any thought as a possibility.

“What about you? You must’ve gotten the same questionnaire?”

“I didn’t, actually. I guess because Eleanor Roosevelt knows me already. She knows most of the stuff I’m into.”

“Like what?” Liam says.

“Uh…” Like Warfront Heroes!! my mind yells. But no. I can’t possibly say that to him. He’s going to ask me all sorts of awkward questions, like my gamer tag. “Like hanging out with my friends.” God, that sounds so meh. “And…” Do I really not have any hobbies other than Warfront Heroes and hanging out with Cassie and Sharlot? Good grief. “Anyway, let’s focus on your profile. What would be your ideal date?”

Liam thinks for a bit. “Exploring a new place together—maybe it’s a new hiking trail or a new restaurant.”

“Pretty run-of-the-mill stuff,” I say with an eyeroll.

“Excuse me? Are you saying I’m boring?”

“No, it’s just the kind of answer anyone would give, isn’t it.”

He makes a mock-offended face. “Nuh-uh! The part about the places being unknown is the rare bit. Not many people like to explore, you know. My dad is always, like, ‘Let’s just go to the restaurant we already know has good food.’ Which is how we’ve ended up going to the same place every weekend for the last five years.”

“True, I guess. Okay, adventurous. I’ll give you that. Ooh, have you hiked up to the waterfalls at Sentul?”

“Yes! I love it there. I’ve been wanting to hike up Mount Bro—”

“Mount Bromo?” I squeak. “Yes, me too!”

“Okay, we’ve got to go over summer break.”

He says this so casually that I know it’s just a throwaway comment. By the time recess is over, he will have forgotten this, but I won’t, and gah, Universe, why must you torture me so?

Just then, Liam’s school-sanctioned iPad, which he’s put on the seat next to him, boops. So do a few other iPads around the canteen. He picks it up with a quizzical look. “Well, that’s interesting.”

“What is it?”

He turns the iPad to face me and points to an icon. I recognize it as the Lil’ Aunties icon. “That wasn’t there before,” he muses.

I look around the canteen and see that those who have brought their iPads here are looking very confusedly at their screens, pointing and murmuring.

“What the hell is Lil’ Aunties?” someone says.

“Is this spam?”

“Don’t open it, it’s gotta be a scam.”

My iPad is back at my classroom, so I have no idea if the Lil’ Aunties app has mysteriously appeared on it as well, but it seems a safe bet that it has. I think back to our last interaction with Eleanor Roosevelt and Sarah Jessica and how they so cryptically said not to worry about their not having a large enough pool of profiles to matchmake. “Oh god,” I groan. So this was their plan all along, to hack into the school-issued iPads and force every machine to download their app.

Liam’s expression is torn between disbelief and admiration. “Did those kids just do what I think they did?”

I nod glumly, thinking of how disappointed George Clooney will be when he finds out that I’ve failed so completely at keeping Eleanor Roosevelt in check.

Liam slides the iPad to the middle of the table so we can both see the screen. He taps on the Lil’ Aunties icon, and a notice appears:

Welcome to the Lil’ Aunties Know Best matchmaking service! This is for COOL PEOPLE only. If you are an uncool snitch, then simply do nothing and the app will be uninstalled in under one minute. If you are COOL and AWESOME, please scroll down to read our terms and conditions. Clicking Agree means you are legally bound by our contract and NDA. If you break our NDA, we will know. Join to find your soulmate today!

Liam and I look at each other, and the utter disbelief on his face makes me burst out laughing. I mean, oh my god,Eleanor Roosevelt! What has she done? Even as we sit there cracking up, another notice appears. It says: “App will be uninstalled in ten seconds unless you click Agree.”

Our eyes meet once more, and an unspoken agreement crosses between us. Liam taps Agree. The app opens to an empty profile page. He raises an eyebrow at me. “I mean…gotta admire their entrepreneurial spirit, right?”

“How much you wanna bet they’ve installed some spyware in the app as well?” I say dryly.

“Oh, totally. I would be disappointed if they haven’t thought to do that.”

---

I wasn’t sure what I expected would happen after Eleanor Roosevelt and Sarah Jessica’s stunt. Part of me feared that people would report it to the teachers and they’d get dragged to Principal Lin’s office by their ears. Or that they’d become the laughingstock of the school. Or something else equally dire.

But what actually happens is…nothing. People talk about it, some roll their eyes, others laugh and join, but most seem to assume it’s spam and immediately delete it from their iPad. And no one tells the teachers, at least that I know of. I guess even in a school as strict as Xingfa, it doesn’t pay to be known as a snitch. By the time recess is over and we all shuffle back to our respective classrooms, it seems as though the Lil’ Aunties app has been largely forgotten.

In the car on my way home from school, I open the app. After clicking Agree, I fill out my profile page as quickly as I can and enter it into the system. I was expecting the app to load a directory of profiles for me to swipe through, but instead, I get a message that says: “Thank you for filling out your profile! All our members are kept strictly confidential. Matches are made at our discretion. You will be notified once we identify the perfect match for you.”

Ah. Okay, that makes sense. If everyone knew who’s on the app, it’d be way too easy for someone to snitch. This way, most people won’t know who’s joined or who’s running the app. Genius. Despite myself, I’m having to hold back my laughter. Amazing how Eleanor Roosevelt and Sarah Jessica really have thought of everything.

The rest of the day passes peacefully, but my peace is short lived, because that evening, Sourdawg asks Dudebro:

Oh, Liam. What I wouldn’t give to meet up with you in person and come clean to you. My hands open and close as I try to come up with a viable excuse for not meeting up in person.

Oh no. Not creepy. But I’m just going through a lot of stuff right now

Sourdawg:Oh, shit. I’m sorry to hear that. Anything I can help with?

Dudebro10:No, it’s just some family stuff

Sourdawg:Do you wanna talk abt it?

I’m so overcome by guilt that I feel compelled to give him something that holds at least a shred of truth.

It’s just…I’m having a lot of resentment toward my parents for sending me to this fucking school

Dudebro10:Sorry, I know that makes me sound like a total douche

Sourdawg:No, not at all. I have a lot of resentment toward my parents too. I’ve been doing a lot of work on it with my therapist. Do you want me to share some of what I’ve learned?

Guilt pinches harder. Liam is opening up about his secrets, because he thinks I’m someone else. This is so wrong. I should tell him to stop.

Dudebro10: Sure

Sourdawg:Okay, so, like, first off, it’s rly important to have an open line of communication with your parents. You can start off with the parent you trust more. For me, that’s my dad, obviously. And it’s going to be rly hard to begin with, but it gets easier. Obviously, like, your parents have to be receptive to it. You need to identify, like, your triggers and when you feel defensive and try to avoid them or acknowledge them. I used to get into these huge fights with my dad, and I finally realized that I was just feeling rly vulnerable and that I should tell him that I’m feeling that way. Since I did, he’s been a lot more open when we talk. Does that make sense? Sorry, I kinda wrote a whole essay there, lol

Dudebro10:No, that makes perfect sense

I can’t imagine having an open conversation with Papi or Mami, though. I’m just so mad at them, and no doubt they’d just dig their heels in and insist on what an amazing school Xingfa is and how I can’t possibly be having a bad time there because it’s so amazing.

Yeah, anyway. Things have been improving a lot lately. In school, I mean. At home it’s still pretty hectic

Sourdawg::(

Dudebro10:What about you? How’s everything at sch?

Sourdawg:Remember that grumpy chick I told you abt?

Dudebro10:The one sitting next to you? Yeah

Sourdawg:She’s pretty cool, actually. Heh, because of her, I had to join this, like, matchmaking thing, so I’m abt to go on plenty of dates

Dudebro10:Haha, that sounds cool

Is it just me or does Liam sound a tad too excited about being set up with other people?

Yeah. I’ll be really impressed if I’m matched with someone who’s a good fit

Okay, so he is excited about being set up with other girls. Of course it would’ve been too good to be true if he were into me.