6.

Erasers slowly die because of your mistakes.

Dice

D ICE

“I didn’t realize that doctors still made house calls,” I quipped as I sat down on the edge of the bed. I reached out and straightened the blanket over Cydney’s shoulders before I smiled at her and asked, “I guess it helps that your bestie is a doctor too.”

“It does,” Cydney said without opening her eyes. “It also helps that Roscoe has known me since I was a toddler and lives right around the corner.”

“Did he happen to say how long this will last?” I asked her.

She glanced up at the IV bag and said, “Probably about an hour, I guess.”

“No, I mean the nausea and puking.”

A voice behind me answered, and I turned around to see a beautiful woman who looked just like Cydney leaning against the doorframe. It seemed like she was reading something from her phone when she said, “It could go away tomorrow, or it could last the majority of the pregnancy.”

“Well, that’s just fucking great,” Cydney mumbled. She opened her eyes and looked over at the door before she said, “Hey, Tadpole.”

The woman walked around the bed and crawled in beside Cydney. She snuggled up to her side and asked, “Is there something you want to tell me, Squid?”

“Yeah. I don’t like the blend on the sample leggings I’m wearing. Too much nylon and not enough spandex. The stretch isn't good enough.”

“Is that all?” the woman asked.

“The front pockets are useless. I want to put one on each thigh - not too low and big enough for a cell phone that has a cover.”

“Anything else?” the woman asked, irritation in her voice.

“Yeah. I’m pregnant, and this guy is the father. Kenny, this is my sister, Tad. Tad, Kenny.”

“Where did you come from?” Tad asked.

“She’s the only one who calls me Kenny. My name is Dice,” I said as I stuck my hand out to shake hers.

She stared at it for a second with narrowed eyes and then grasped it with more strength than I thought was necessary as she said, “You didn’t answer my question.”

“I met him in Vegas,” Cydney answered. “Stop acting like you’re all big and tough when you know I can whip your ass with one hand tied behind my back while I’m eating an apple with the other.”

“Yeah,” Tad scoffed. “You really look like you could do some damage.”

“Maybe not right now, but I’ll be back to fighting shape in no time.”

“Such violence,” I quipped. “Do you usually beat the shit out of each other, or is the dehydration making her hallucinate?”

“We’ve been training in Muay Thai since we were kids,” Cydney explained.

“So, yes, we beat the shit out of each other regularly,” Tad said with a smile that looked almost predatory.

“Our mom and Aunt Izzy insisted that all of us learn to defend ourselves from a very young age,” Cydney explained. “Our cousins Frankie and True have been at it since they were kids too.”

“That’s good to know.”

Apparently, Tad was finished with me and looked at her sister when she asked, “Why didn’t you tell me, Squid?”

“I haven’t told anyone yet, but I guess everyone knows now. How did you find out?”

“When you didn’t answer your phone, I looked up your last location and came to find you. I heard the two of you talking as I walked down the hall.”

“I didn’t answer because my phone screen is cracked. When I bent over to puke, it fell out of my pocket and hit the floor. That’s what I meant by the front pockets are useless and there isn’t enough compression in the blend.”

“That’s one way to test the product, I guess.”

“That’s what you do for a living? Product testing?”

“She’s having your baby, and you don’t know what she does for a living?”

“Up until I saw him on TV a few days ago, I didn’t know what he did for a living either,” Cydney explained.

“Neither of you answered my question,” I reminded them.

“Have you ever heard of a company called Glitz?” I shook my head and Tad asked, “What about Glimmer?” I shook my head again, and she asked, “Have you ever heard of Gradient?”

“Yeah. I use their body wash and their lotion every day. As a matter of fact, their unscented moisturizing gel is what I recommend my clients use on their new tattoos.”

“Really?” Tad asked, completely forgetting that she thought she was supposed to be angry at me on behalf of her sister. “What makes you like it for that use? Is it the texture and consistency or . . .”

“So, I’m pregnant,” Cydney interrupted loudly.

“Oh, shit! Yeah! My bad,” Tad said hurriedly before she whispered, “I have questions for later, okay?”

I nodded and asked Cydney, “Is there anything I can do?”

“Two things,” Cydney answered without opening her eyes.

“List ‘em out and I’ll get ‘em done.”

“Hire a lawyer, and then sue the shit out of the condom company so we can afford to raise this baby in style.”

“This is a condom baby?” Tad asked.

“Gracy, sweetheart, do me a favor with that calculator brain of yours.”

“What?”

“Figure out the odds of conception considering that not only did he wear a condom, but I am also on the pill.”

“Damn. Talk about meant to be,” Tad muttered. “I’ll have to get back to you on that.”

“I guess the old saying is bullshit,” I said cheerfully.

“What saying?” Cydney asked.

“Lightning does strike twice.”

“Are you high right now?”

I ignored her question and explained, “I bet everything my father had on twelve and won against all odds, and now, you’re pregnant even though we used two kinds of protection.”

“The condom broke,” she reminded me.

“As did your birth control,” I retorted. When she didn’t reply, I said, “You seem to be feeling a little better.”

“Roscoe gave me a shot to stop the nausea, and the IV is fighting the dehydration. It will all go away, and I’ll be miserable again soon.”

“When it does, just let me know how I can help you. Is there anything I can do right now?”

“Let me sleep,” Cydney whispered before she moved her head back and forth to get situated on the pillow. “Just for a little while.”

“Sleep as long as you need, babe,” I said as I brushed her hair away from her face. “Call out for me if you need something.”

When she didn’t answer, I realized that she must already be sleeping as did her sister. She moved carefully as she got off the bed and then turned around and studied Cydney’s sleeping face for a few seconds before she motioned toward the door. I followed her out into the hall and watched as she gently closed the door.

Suddenly, Tad had me against the wall with her finger poking me in the chest. She glared up at me before she hissed, “She’s gonna say that she’s got this and can do it all on her own, but it’s your job to step up and call her on her bullshit. If you don’t do it, then one of us will, but we’ll never forget we had to step up in your place, do you hear me?”

“Loud and clear.”

“If you’re not gonna stick around for the long haul, then take your ass out of the equation now.”

“I already asked her to marry me.”

“That’s a little extreme,” Tad said in shock. “What did she say?”

“She started puking again.”

“What did you want her to say?”

“I have no idea.”

◆◆◆

“Hello, sweetheart! I’m glad you called. I was wondering if you got there safely.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t call you earlier.”

“Well, in all honesty, I knew that you got there safely because I called Chelle and she told me how to track your phone.”

“She did?”

“I guess we can all see each other since we share the family plan. I have to admit that when I said it would have been nice to have that technology when she and her sisters were teenagers, the way she laughed disturbed me more than a little.”

“I’m pretty sure you’re better off not knowing what they got up to,” I said with a chuckle. “They used to send me letters telling me about some of the shit they pulled, and even I got a little testy.”

“Why didn’t you say something to me? I would have . . .” Debbie’s voice trailed off and she laughed before she said, “Who am I kidding? I wouldn’t have done a damn thing. Jeff, however, would have lost his ever-loving mind.”

“He’s a bigger softie than you give him credit for. The fact that he allowed his three daughters to be pen pals with an inmate like me proves that.”

“We didn’t let them communicate with any other inmates, just you.”

“If you had, then I’d have been the one losing my ever-loving mind.”

“Is everything okay?”

“Why do you ask?”

“There’s something off about your voice. Something’s . . . Hold on.” A few seconds later, my phone beeped, and I saw that Debbie had turned our phone conversation into a FaceTime call. I pressed the button to connect and smiled when I saw her face. “There! That’s better. Now, tell me what’s wrong.”

“How do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“How do you just know? This isn’t the first time you’ve pulled that magic trick on me, and I’ve seen you do it to the girls over and over.”

Debbie shrugged before she said, “I don’t know how it works, I just know it developed over time. It’s a mom thing, I guess.”

“Do you think my life would have turned out differently if I’d grown up with a mom who had that skill?”

“It might have, but then again, maybe what happened was destiny to bring you into our family. I’d like to think that’s the case because I don’t want to imagine what would have happened to us if it had been anyone other than you there that night.”

“Maybe nothing would have happened at all if I’d been different. Maybe . . .”

“And maybe Pluto would still be a planet and they wouldn’t have discontinued my favorite television shows,” Debbie said sarcastically. “It worked out the way it was meant to, just like everything else in life.”

“Rooster said something like that when I was hanging out with him the other day.”

“What did he say?”

“That if it’s meant to be, it will happen.”

“If what is meant to be?”

“I met a woman and then lost track of her.”

“How did you lose track? Did you know her when you were young or . . .”

I shook my head and interrupted Debbie, “No. I met her about a month ago. We didn’t exchange numbers before she left, and I thought I’d never see her again.”

“Well, in this day and age with technology the way it is, it should be easy enough to find her if you try.”

“I found her.” I burst out laughing and said, “It was fate or destiny or whatever you want to call it.”

“What did she say when you found her?”

“She threw up on me.”

“Oh, I bet that went well. Did you give it right back to her?”

“I managed to hold it in,” I answered with a laugh. “Although, I did finally lose it a little bit later.”

“That figures. How someone who has been through all that you have in your life could have such a weak stomach is beyond me. Jeff was almost as bad as you are but he managed to get past it.”

“He was? How did he do that?”

“Parenthood!” Jeff yelled from somewhere outside the frame of the camera. “I was holding Courtney up in the air, and she puked in my mouth. I managed to hold onto her when the old me would have thrown her aside so I could puke up a lung.”

“That was a turning point in his life. He still gets a little green around the gills, but he learned to control himself because it was trial by fire with the girls.”

“I’ve been puked on, pooped on, sneezed on, snotted on, coughed on . . .”

Jeff’s voice trailed off, and I knew he must have walked out of the room. Debbie smiled and said, “Someday, when you have children, it may get easier for you to hold your stomach. Then again, it may not.”

“I guess we’ll see.”

“What was that?” Debbie asked, her brows furrowing as her face got closer to the screen. “What’s that look for?”

“Cydney threw up on me because she’s pregnant.”

I watched Debbie’s face go from worry to confusion to joy in just a few seconds and then braced myself for the explosion I could see coming. At the top of her lungs, she yelled, “Jeff! Kenny’s gonna have a baby!”

“Technically . . .”

“We’re going to be grandparents again!” Debbie squealed as the camera view suddenly showed the ceiling.

Debbie was still squealing when Jeff picked up the phone and smiled at me. “You’re going to be a dad? I didn’t even know you were dating someone seriously, son.”

I took a deep breath and then blew it out, wondering if this is how children from normal families felt when they were afraid they might be disappointing their parents. Finally, I admitted, “It wasn’t a planned event, Jeff. I only knew her for a little bit.”

“How long? Why haven’t you ever mentioned her before?” Debbie asked.

“We met when she came to visit Vegas for the weekend with a friend.”

I could see the light dawn on both of their faces, and then Debbie looked horrified. “You ran into her in Texas? She’s not from Vegas! The baby won’t be . . . She won’t . . . Are you going to . . . What about . . .”

“Deb! Take a deep breath and focus,” Jeff said in that tone of voice only he could get away with.

“If it helps at all, I’ve been thinking about her since that night. There’s something about her that I just couldn’t shake, you know?” When both Jeff and Debbie stared at me like I was off my rocker, I said, “You think I’m crazy, don’t you?”

“What kind of person is she, Kenny?”

“I guess I’m going to find out. I’m here for a week, and then after that, I guess . . . I don’t know what will happen then. I’m not sure how to proceed yet.”

“Get to know her. Even if you aren’t together, you’re going to be connected to this woman for the rest of your life. One thing about parenthood is that it changes everything about what you thought your life would be. It’s not about you anymore, Kenny.”

I nodded at Jeff’s sage advice and then smiled when Debbie, ever the romantic, said, “Get to know her and let her see the man we all love. She won’t have any other choice but to fall in love with you, and then you can bring her home to join our family and I can have another little baby to spoil rotten and send home.”

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, here,” Jeff warned. “From a practical standpoint, I’m going to have to insist that you make sure that you’re the father, first and foremost, and then get some legal groundwork set in place regarding how you’ll care for the baby from a distance if you can’t convince her to come to Vegas. Even if you can, there are still some legalities involved, but Courtney can help you with that, I’m sure.”

“You know how they get.”

“Don’t I ever,” Jeff grumbled.

“Let her see the Kenny we know, not the one that the world assumes you are, and she won’t be able to stop herself from loving you.”

“I don’t know about all that, Deb,” I said, laughing at her earnest look. “I think you’re the only one on the planet who is convinced that I’m Mr. Wonderful.”

“Everyone should see it, and if they knew what I did, they would.”

“Let’s not go there,” I suggested, uncomfortable now. “I just wanted to feel like someone was in my corner, and I knew that if I talked to you, that’s what I would get. I love you guys.”

“Keep your chin up, Kenny. It’s a very lucky man who is surrounded by the love of his children. This is the best thing that will ever happen to you. I promise,” Jeff assured me.

“We’ll see, won’t we?”