16. Kat

16

The nerve of that man…

Hours after our unfortunate disagreement, the sun rises, announcing the beginning of a new day. But I'm not ready to move on and let go of yesterday's resentments just yet.

After reliving our argument all night, I'm struggling to forgive Nik for having the audacity to threaten to "do whatever it takes" to keep me safe. As if his judgment of what is good for me is superior to mine. As if I can't be trusted to take care of myself.

It's one thing for Nik to be protective and caring. I've come to accept that's an endearing, albeit at times aggravating, part of his personality. Last night, however, was something else entirely. Nik turned into a possessive and controlling jerk right before my eyes. I can't even begin to imagine what gave him the illusion that I'd ever be this meek and subservient creature he wants me to be. Me, his little submissive girlfriend? I don't think so. I may have given him a chance to be a part of my life, but I pity the man if he seriously believes I'll become nothing more than his other half.

Yesterday, I hesitated before leaving the penthouse without giving him a heads-up. Now, I feel validated that I ultimately decided to do so. His overbearing reaction proves that I was right to sneak out.

Truth be told, I hate to put Nik in a position where he will inevitably struggle to subdue his trust issues. But, at some point, a woman must stop making excuses for grown men and their emotional baggage. At some point, Nik has to take responsibility for his personal shortcomings. He must accept that I'm not something he can own—a prize to be added to his collection. Sooner or later, he has to decide if he trusts me or not. He'll have to choose between keeping his misgivings about who I am or keeping me. I can't make that decision for him.

Besides, everything I'm doing is to ensure our relationship has a future. I know with every fiber of my being that Nik and I have no shot unless I wipe the slate clean. It's why I haven't told him everything yet. Someone has to save Nik from himself. Who else's going to protect him when he's busy protecting me? The ridiculous man is ready to start a war to avenge me, even though I'm completely unharmed.

So when A.J. shared with me a promising lead on the Flame of Mir's location, I jumped at the opportunity to check it out. At least some good news came out of the ordeal. As usual, my friend's intel was worth its weight in gold. Or, in this case, in diamonds. I know now for a fact that the stronzo was stupid enough to keep the Flame of Mir. Even better—I know where he's been hiding it.

After my little surveillance session, I rushed home to Nik, giddy and excited to get started on my plan to rescue his diamond. Of course, once I arrived at the penthouse, I was unpleasantly surprised by his temper tantrum. I retired to the guest room after our fight, feeling like I was falling from cloud nine. I even locked the door. I knew it wouldn't stop Nik if he wanted to come inside, but with any luck, it would at least infuriate him a good deal.

To my great disappointment, it was all for nothing. Nik never even tried to open the door. I would know if he had, since I stayed up most of the night working on my plan for my daring rescue of the Flame of Mir. Truthfully, I also had a feeling that trying to sleep would be a waste of time. My mind couldn't stop replaying all the horrible things Nik and I said to each other. At least I put my restlessness to good use, letting it fuel me to power through my project.

As the first hints of dawn begin to populate the sky, I finally feel satisfied with my plans. I force myself to lie on the massive bed that occupies the guest room and at least try to get some sleep. God knows I'll need all my energy to deal with Nik and the stronzo today.

Just as I start to succumb to exhaustion, my phone rings. With a groan, I pick it up, deliriously thinking for a second that maybe it's Nik, ready to beg me for forgiveness. Why he would call me instead of bursting through the door, I couldn't say. Instead, A.J.'s voice greets me when I hoarsely croak hello.

"Hey, girl! How did it go yesterday?" she asks. In my exhausted state, her cheerful tone sounds like nails against a chalkboard.

"It went great. Thanks again."

"Are you okay? You don't sound like yourself."

"Yeah. Sorry. I'm still half-asleep."

"Did your new boyfriend keep you up all night with his reportedly amazing lovemaking skills?" she asks in a teasing tone.

I scoff. "As if. No, I stayed up working. By myself. Trust me—if I hadn't, the only thing Nik and I would've been busy doing is driving each other crazy. Probably through the break of dawn. And not in a good way."

"Uh-oh. Trouble in paradise? What happened? You were so into him last time we talked."

I sigh. "I still am. God help me. It's just…We had a major fight last night. Long story short, I guess you were right after all. I can't completely let my guard down around him just yet. I need to look out for myself. Don't get me wrong—I'm still hoping for the best. But after last night, I'm a little concerned. Let's just say that his overprotectiveness and his need to be in control of all things—including yours truly—cannot be overstated."

A.J. whistles. "Wow. Damn, Kat. I wish I could say I'm surprised, but knowing his background, how could I be? Still, you know I'm here for you, right? If you need me to come to your rescue, all you have to do is say the word, and I'll be there."

"I know, honey. I know. And I appreciate that—and you—so much. But I'm fine. Really. I think I can handle him. Or at least I hope so. I'm not ready to give up just yet."

"Well, if you change your mind, you know where to find me. In the meantime, maybe I can cheer you up with some good news?"

"Please do," I say, not too proud to beg.

Almost giddy with excitement, A.J. tells me how well her plan to take down the stronzo is going. As his former secretary, Camilla, mentioned, there's hard evidence of his secret. A.J. is close to tracking down the paper trail Camilla reported seeing during her time as his employee. A.J. believes that soon we'll have indisputable proof that the man's been cheating on his wife, even though the poor woman is the reason he became boss of the Italians in the first place.

When A.J. hangs up, I feel cautiously hopeful. Maybe our luck is finally turning around. If that's the case, then there's no better time than the present for me to strike.

I grant myself the luxury of a daydream for a brief moment, mentally visualizing how terribly furious the stronzo will be once he realizes the diamond is gone and there's nothing he can do about it—not anymore. I even picture Nik's astonished expression when I finally present him with the Flame of Mir.

Nik and I will finally be equals. And hopefully, this will allow us to move on and forward. Who knows? Maybe he'll finally realize he can trust me. It might even give us the morale boost we need to power through this ordeal with McGuire—preferably without starting a war among the Seven Families.

It's all wonderful to think about. But until I make it happen—until I actually have the Flame of Mir in my hands—it's just wishful thinking, nothing more. As always, it's up to me to make this dream a reality, and I know I'm up to the task. Unfortunately, I know Nik won't share this belief. After last night, I'd have to be a fool to tell him my plan. Once all is said and done, I'm sure I'll be able to look back at last night and think of Nik's overprotectiveness as cute—and even kind of sexy. But right now, it makes him a liability to my plans to save us all. So telling him about them is out of the question. He is a risk I can't afford.

Above all else, I can't lose him. If he learns what the stronzo has put me through, he'll go after the man without a second thought. I can't allow that to happen under any circumstances. Not while his conflict with McGuire isn't resolved. Besides, this isn't Nik's fight. It's mine and A.J.'s. It's a matter of pride for me that the stronzo's downfall is brought on by my hand or hers. I'm not a damsel in distress, and I don't want Nik to come to my rescue—especially not at great personal cost to himself.

There is no doubt in my mind that Nik will be livid once he learns what I've been keeping from him—let alone the lengths I went to make amends for the harm I caused him. But all will be well once it ends well. Once I'm safely back with the Flame of Mir as an olive branch, I'm positive he'll forgive me. Eventually. Once I give him some sugar. But until then, dealing with him will be no picnic.

Just thinking about how worried and upset he will be until then makes my heart ache. He might be a controlling, possessive jerk at times, but he is my controlling, possessive jerk—and I'll have no other. Despite all his faults, he's also impossibly wonderful and caring—much more often than he's a pain in the ass. The mere idea of bringing him pain and stress makes me sick to my stomach. Still, as always, I know that a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

All this thinking of Nik and pining for him makes it impossible for me to keep my distance for much longer. After our awful fight—and an entire night spent away from him—I suddenly feel an unbearable need to see him again. So, I exit the room to look for him, bracing myself for what I'm sure will be a very non warm welcome.

Surprisingly, he isn't at his office. I walk around the penthouse somewhat aimlessly until I hear signs of life coming from the kitchen. Cautiously, I make my way there. I find Nik leaning against the counter, nursing a steaming coffee mug while not looking any more rested than I do.

"Hi," I quietly say in greeting. Nik nods in reply, and I realize, after a long moment of uncomfortable silence, that's all the answer I'm getting. With a forceful smile plastered on my face, I add, "I've been looking for you."

"Well, here I am," Nik says, moodily. His hair is a mess, and there are dark circles under his eyes. His black cashmere sweater is a wrinkled disaster, and he's never looked scruffier.

"Any news about McGuire?" I ask.

Nik shakes his head no.

I sigh. "I don't suppose you're ready to consider that maybe—just maybe—he is not behind Maxim's murder. And that maybe—just maybe—you should let cooler heads prevail and try to mend fences with him before it's too late."

He shoots me an exasperated and angry look as if he can't believe I'm still thinking about this entirely reasonable and logical possibility. Men—I swear.

"I'll take that as a no," I say under my breath once it's clear Nik won't say anything. I'm aware I've hurt his feelings. But he's hurt mine, too. Once again, I sigh. "Well, don't let it ever be said that I don't know how to take a hint. You don't want me around, and this is, after all, your place. So I'm going out to take care of something important. Don't say I didn't warn you this time."

Nik's impassive, disinterested demeanor is gone in a flash. Directly looking at me for the first time since I entered the kitchen, he narrows his eyes at me. "Where?are you going?" he asks through gritted teeth.

"Out," I say with a smile. "That's all I can say for now."

While taking a deep breath, Nik squeezes his eyes shut before rubbing a hand over his face, clearly struggling to keep his temper in check. His tone is deceptively calm when he speaks to me again. "Kat, unless you need to attend to some sort of life-and-death matter of the utmost importance and urgency, I must insist that you stay here for the time being. At least until McGuire is found."

"As it happens, that's my exact situation, Nik. There's something I need to handle immediately. I'm doing this for us. Trust me."

My emphatic reference to his inability to trust me doesn't go unnoticed. He clenches his jaw so hard I worry for a second that he might crack one of his teeth. "What could be more important or urgent than staying out of danger?" he asks.

I shrug. "I can't tell you. At least not yet. In due time, though, I will. Until then, you'll just have to trust my judgment."

Nik's breathing grows shallow, and his complexion becomes remarkably flushed. Still, he takes a deep breath, seemingly trying to keep his temper under control. "Work with me here. Please," he finally says.

"I'm only telling you I'm going out to avoid another argument, Nik. I don't want you to worry. Once again, please don't mistake what's simply a courtesy on my part with me asking—or needing—your consent to come and go as I please. Which, may I remind you, you told me I didn't need in the first place, back when we first started working together."

I half expect him to lose his cool completely, but he surprises me. "Will you let me come with you at least?" he asks.

"Sorry, no," I say, more gently than he deserves.

With a long-suffering sigh, Nik asks, "Can Dmitri come with you, then?"

I scoff. "Absolutely not. Who's going to babysit him while he's babysitting me?"

"Will you take any of my men with you?" he asks through gritted teeth.

I shake my head no.

"Fine," Nik says loudly, throwing his half-full coffee mug in the sink. I jump at the sound of it breaking against the stainless steel surface. "Have it your way, then."

Before I have time to react, Nik wraps his hands around my waist. The next thing I know, he throws me over his shoulder. I struggle against his hold, but it's pointless. I might as well be trying to bend metal.

"Let me go," I ask, kicking my legs and hitting his back with my closed fists.

Easily subduing my attempts to free myself, Nik marches out of the kitchen, ignoring my protests.

He laughs humorlessly. "Not a chance. If you want to behave like a reckless, unreasonable child, I'll treat you like one. If you insist on showing me I can't afford to trust you, then I have no choice but to respond accordingly."

Nik's long strides make quick work of the penthouse's vast corridors and halls. Before I know what's happening, he drops me on a soft surface. Slightly disoriented, I'm slow to recognize it's his bed.

"Once I've dealt with McGuire, we'll talk," he says, walking towards the door. "You'll stay here until then." He inserts a key into the bedroom door's outside keyhole, and I gasp, horrified.

"Nik, no. Please don't do this. I'm begging you."

My pleas do nothing to move him. Relentless, he isn't dissuaded from locking me away in his bedroom, making me his true prisoner at last.

"I wish I didn't have to," Nik dispassionately says under his breath. "But I just can't trust you not to put yourself in danger. I can't trust you not to leave me. And I can't lose you."

I sob, shaking my head frantically. "If you do this, Nik, there's no turning back. I won't forgive you for this. I can't."

Nik's dark brown eyes—once so dear and familiar—look utterly alien to me as he takes his time studying me. Without another word, he steps outside the room and locks the door, shattering my heart in one move.