8. Rin

8

Rin

Tehlmar cracks the whip over Roshan's back, the sharp sound cutting through the air like a slap. I grimace, turning my face away as Roshan groans. The sight and the sound of his pain are unbearable.

Astaghfirullah. My thoughts churn uneasily. Tehlmar's actions paint him as someone unkind, but perhaps I'm overthinking again, as I often do. Roshan stumbles slightly while descending a short ridge, causing the cart to jolt and snapping me out of my thoughts.

Tehlmar jerks the reins roughly, and Roshan lets out an odd braying sound. Before I can protest, Tehlmar reaches for the whip again. This time, I place a hand over him, gently stopping him.

He grunts but lowers the whip, redirecting Roshan to the left at the fork below the ridge. "They are stubborn sometimes, and it doesn't hurt it."

I highly doubt it. "It doesn't mean you need to use violence all the time. He can be trained, you know," I counter and Tehlmar laughs. "What is so funny?"

He guides the reins tighter as we approach the slope. Roshan carefully picks his way down, slow and deliberate. "It seems that your people have strange views about animals. Back home, we use them for work, assisting us on the farms, and to be eaten. Not for treating like a lover."

His words hit like a slap. My jaw tightens, and I look away, swallowing the sting of his remark. I only care for Roshan's well-being, his accusation feels more like an insult than an observation. Like a lover? The nerve of him.

I grind my teeth together, and get distracted, but the biting cold seeps in, drawing my attention to my inadequate clothing. The genali, in their supposed generosity, gave me these thin garments that offer no insulation. I should be grateful to have anything at all, but it's hard not to resent them for this indignity. At least I'm not walking around naked.

Still, a scarf, or a thicker layer would go a long way.

Tehlmar seems to notice that I am chilly. "It is warmer where we are going," he assures, his voice neutral. Warmer than his attitude? He has gotten progressively less warm in his attitude toward me as the journey has gone on and I'm not sure if I can continue to ignore it. My instincts whisper that ignoring it may be unwise.

I thought we shared common ground, both of us captured and displaced on this weird planet. But now I am beginning to question my assumptions. "Where exactly are we going? Is it somewhere without the hunters?" I ask and he chuckles.

The laugh has no mirth in it at all, and it does not reach his eyes. Instead, it feels mocking, dismissive, a sound I know too well.

"You ask a lot of questions, Nasrin, and you are lucky I enjoy answering them."

Before I can respond, he continues. "We are heading toward a dock up north, You'll be safe from the hunters there. "

I cock a confused brow. "The hunters I'm so scared of? Do you not find them distasteful as well?"

He laughs at me, and it is definitely mocking, his face contorting into what I assume must be the equivalent of a sneer.

I cross my arms over my chest, keeping my expression composed. He needs to know I am serious.

He throws his head back in another cruel laugh and his hair blows back from the force of it. "Distasteful, yes. I find them absolutely abhorrent. However, I am not scared of them. They are easy for me to kill."

When he says that, his knuckles tighten menacingly on the reins in his hand, turning them nearly bone-white.

With a grunt, he wraps the reins around his fingers and pulls Roshan onto a path to the right instead of going straight ahead. It is easy, the way he just knows which way to go, almost like he frequents the path.

"You won't have to be scared of them anymore once we reach the dock." he says, his voice calm but firm.

"How do you know about it?" I ask, though I notice how the flex of his jaw betrays his irritation.

He leads us through a dense canopy of wide-leafed trees, the shadows swallowing the daylight once again. "I found out the same way many others find out, by asking the right people the right questions."

Roshan snorts, almost as if disagreeing with him, but the creature keeps walking, probably afraid of being hit again.

I'm struck by how much more human Roshan seems after giving him a name, perhaps, even more so than Tehlmar. But I focus my attention back to my companion and his clipped replies.

His response raises even more questions, ones I want to press. But what's the point? I don't know where north is or how to get back anywhere. I have no idea which place is safe or where to find other people. Most of all, I no longer trust Tehlmar.

If I ever did.

At this point, I'd rather be alone with Roshan than try to understand Tehlmar's sudden shift from savior to something far more unsettling.

Though I'm not sure what good my distrust does to me. I'm no match for him. He's huge.

When we emerge from the shadows, I watch him closely for any signs of strange intentions, but outwardly, everything seems normal.

The forest reflects our shifting moods—it started bright and familiar, but now it's dark and foreboding, the trees crowding together as if conspiring against us.

Tehlmar suddenly turns, his gaze burning into my face for an uncomfortably long time. "On my home planet, journeys like this are deeply interpersonal and are mostly shared by lovers and friends," he says, his tone almost casual.

He looks forward again, steering Roshan down a small but steep, grassy hill, ducking before a tree branch can hit him.

When his eyes flick back to me, I can feel the weight of his gaze shift to my chest. How can I not when he continues to leer at me, his yellow eyes shifting from my face to my cold-hardened nipples? I fold my hands over my chest and pretend to focus on something on the cart's wooden frame.

He just keeps speaking. "I think we would make good friends and even better lovers. Do you not agree?"

The answer jumps out of my mouth before I have the chance to think it through, probably because of years of practice. "I'm not the greatest at making friends."

He laughs, the tinkering melody of his voice floating around us. "Is it because you are afraid of something?"

I turn away, flustered, his words feeling like mockery. My face burns hotter as I stay silent.

"So, am I right?" he adds when I say nothing. "You know, you do not need to be so afraid when you are with me. Not of the genali, not of the braceaaer, not of pregnancy."

He whispers the last part and I whip my head around, unable to hide the shock on my face. "I am not scared of pregnancy. I just am not interested in having a lover," I explain slowly, leaving the sneer in my tone.

"Why would I fear pregnancy with you, though? We are different species." I look down at the dark skin of my hands and his silvery one, trying to imagine what a hybrid between us might look like. The thought disgusts me, and I close my eyes tightly, willing the cursed images away.

Tehlmar clicks his tongue. "It's possible between species, but that's not why I mentioned it."

Ya Allah, is he really going to make me beg for answers because I rejected his appeal? Even if I were going to decide to settle with him or anyone else, I would at least have to know them for longer than a few hours.

I don't know anything about him besides the fact that he rescued me from my doom, and he doesn't know anything about me either. How would it work?

"Then why?" I press on and he lets out a sigh, like my questions are annoying him.

"Genali hunters put contraceptives in slaves to prevent them from bearing children," he says slowly, looking at me out of the corner of his green-eyelash-rimmed yellow eyes as if that should clear up some sort of issue between us.

I try to think of a response, but nothing bubbles up.

My elbow itches, and I scratch it absentmindedly, trying to ignore him. We can't be genetically compatible. I don't believe it. And this conversation has all kinds of weird layers.

Two days ago, if someone had told me my life would take this bizarre turn, I'd have laughed and asked how long they'd spent at the hookah lounge.

Although, come to think of it, there's no way I came from Earth to here in just one day. I shut my mind down before I can make any of the calculations.

We don't ride for much longer when Tehlmar rounds Roshan up around a tall rock, revealing a hollow cave protected by large, weather-beaten tree trunks. He gets down first and wanders inside for a few moments. "It is habitable and safe, and we will not be followed. This is where we will rest."

Too tired to argue, I nod. The cave looks decent and well hidden.

"I am going to gather firewood. It will be a cold night," he announces as he walks away.

A fire? With genali around?

I climb off the cart and move to Roshan's side, shaking my head. My hands move to scratch at his short neck, earning a soft bleat as he nudges me affectionately. His fur tickles my skin, drawing a chuckle from me.

"Stay still, Roshan. Let me get you out of this," I say gently.

The animal is too excited and doesn't listen, but I persist, finally separating him from the cart. When Tehlmar returns with his arms full of sticks, he dumps them inside the cave and collects dry leaves. As he emerges again, he chides me, "Don't spoil the beast with so much affection. It will make it less likely to be obedient,"

I narrow my eyes at him and scratch Roshan's nose. "I think affection makes it more obedient," I argue and I hear Tehlmar scoff as he reenters the cave.

The sound of rocks scraping against each other is followed by a flickering orange flame that brightens up the evening.

It is not dark enough that I cannot see at all, but I have to squint to focus on anything in particular. I hear Tehlmar walking off again, but I am too busy digging into Roshan's fur with my fingers, trying to figure out a way to get the reins off completely.

I lead him closer to the light and continue fiddling while giving him occasional pets to sate his endless need for affection.

As I fiddle with the reins, trying to undo them completely, my fingers brush against a rough edge. A horrified gasp escapes me when I discover a scarred, pitted hole in Roshan's snout, where the rope feeds through. "What did they do to you, poor baby?" I whisper, my heart sinking.

Roshan lets out a soft bleat, his head pressing against me as if answering my question. He's been harmed. The cruelty of it disgusts me. There is no need for such brutal measures. Ever.

Tehlmar reappears with a handful of green leaves. "These will be safe for you to eat," he says.

After a glance at the small bouquet of green leaves in his hands, I shake my head. "I don't think it's worth the risk."

I have had food poisoning from eating strange street food and unwashed fruit before. Having something like that while hiding away or on the run from hunters would be a terrible thing. Of course, I don't tell him all of that as I focus my attention back on Roshan.

The argila is all too happy to be the center of my attention once again, bleating playfully as his rubber teeth scrape against my hand.

I don't mean to ignore Tehlmar, but there are other things running through my mind, like why anyone would need to hurt an animal this way. I have known the argila for less than a day and even I see all the training potential in him and someone else just decided it was okay to put holes in his face?

"It is safe," Tehlmar insists softly, his persistence grating on my nerves. "I know you are afraid of being poisoned."

I heave a sigh and face Tehlmar. "How can you be so sure? We're not even of the same species, Tehlmar. I could die from a single bite of that."

"Why won't you listen to me when I tell you it is not poisonous?"

His voice is raised, and it scratches at my patience. "How do you know, Tehlmar? How do you know?"

"Because I just do," he says in a joking tone, but I have had enough.