5. Rin

5

Rin

The wind blows softly, and my hair flies into my face, brighter than I've ever seen it.

Grabbing onto a few locks, I pull them in front of me and see that it is a stark white, the curls longer and looser. With the shock comes anger, but I bite down on the comments that want to bubble up, my mind still reeling.

As Tehlmar and I move through the trees, my first thought is how the sky looks like a radioactive sunset, with a pale-yellow sun, like something out of a sci-fi movie.

A strained smile stretches across the side of my mouth as I remember that bābā used to really adore the genre. He wanted to be an astronaut as a child but inherited the family's butcher shop and threw away his dreams of traversing space, but he kept the faith alive with stories.

If he were still alive, I'd find a way to make it home just to tell him I left Earth. My smile fades as I think of how much of my life has centered around those few words.

If he were still alive.

My life shrunk to almost nothing because of his death, with people telling me I needed to simply move on. But move on to what? There was no room left to breathe, let alone live.

Now, here I am, with no restrictions on me, an open world and sky. It's terrifying.

I shake my head, frustrated that I'm letting my mind wander, even though it's hard to focus right now. My hand goes to my hair again, and I pull it to eye level. I'm still in shock at its whiteness after twenty-three years of having brown, extremely frizzy curls I never appreciated.

Why was it changed? The desire to cover it surges more than ever.

My mind drifts to my hijab collection, collecting dust on the wooden hangers in my room. What would be more helpful, though, is something to cover my body.

I lost a bit of weight after moving in with my brother, but my thighs are still thick, and my stomach is padded. Although I'm not ashamed of my body, it's not meant to be on display like this for anyone to see. This jumpsuit emphasizes every curve, and I know that if my parents had the displeasure of seeing me in this, they would be appalled.

Tehlmar strides forward, ignoring me. It's almost as if he forgets we're walking together, only remembering periodically when he turns to glance down at me, as if checking that I'm still alive.

I don't mind the silence because it gives me time to process my new reality and figure out how I got here. Not that I've made any progress in understanding that. Everything feels stretched out since eating at the table with Bibi, almost like I've been dreaming. But I know for a fact that I didn't dream those horrifying genali doing something to me.

With a start, I remember the look on her face. She did this to me. A shiver runs down my skin and my heart contracts painfully. Did she… sell me? Then I remember that my brother was there and it feels like a knife inserted through my ribs.

They did. They sold me so I wouldn't be a problem anymore. I didn't have any illusions that my life would be easy, but that is nothing I ever thought possible. And so here I am.

It's hard to breath for several long moments, but I force my mind away from it, concerned that if I let myself feel that betrayal that it'll make the fear harder to contain. That I'll be right back to that cowering child I vowed to never be again.

So, instead, I try to figure out what is going on.

It doesn't take a genius to see that this is some kind of interplanetary trafficking, and I'm not the first woman they have done this to. My head starts to throb again and I palm my temple, wishing I was back home with a bowl of eucalyptus oil.

Or maybe back home, period.

Eager to escape my thoughts, I turn to Tehlmar. "Are there more things like the genali out here?" I ask, stepping over a bramble.

"The genali are everywhere," he responds, "it is hard to avoid them. The braceaaer as well, devious little things."

I gasp. "There's more than one kind?"

A fresh fear settles itself in the pit of my belly and I almost lose my footing.

"Yes, they're the most dangerous species on this planet, aside from me. The genali are technologically advanced and their main targets are females. They abduct them and kill anything in their way unless it has some use to them. This is one of their hunting grounds. "

"They are horrible," I say, recalling the look in the genali's eyes as he leered at me through the glass cage.

"Not many people survive an encounter with them, so count yourself lucky I was there to rescue you."

His words have a gloating edge, and I catch myself judging him through a lens of distaste. It's not the first time he has made reference to his role as my "knight in shining armor," and it's starting to grate on me.

I was there; I saw it all and don't need the reminder.

Mid-thought, I shake my head, chastising myself. I shouldn't think this way about someone who saved my life. Besides, maybe I'm misjudging him because I don't understand his culture?

He continues to speak, and I listen eagerly. "The braceaaer are small, gray-green aliens that—"

I interrupt, "Let me guess, they hate women too?" He makes a chittering sound, then puffs, his shoulders shaking in amusement.

A laugh?

"Yes, they are worse. While the genali abduct females to make profit, the braceaaer capture them for personal use, sometimes to kill without reason. They are quite violent and brutal," he says, his tone making goosebumps rise on my arms.

I push my hair back and look straight ahead, aware of his gaze lingering on me. "I don't remember much from the abduction. I was home with my brother's wife; the next, I was here. It's all a blur." I sigh, reaching out to touch a feathery leaf.

The plants here look so similar, yet different from those on Earth. It's surreal, and I wish that I could truly enjoy it; I've dreamed of seeing more of the world since I was young. But this is far more exotic than I ever dreamed.

"Females can't protect themselves. It is a fact," he says simply.

My hands clench, and I bite back a retort just in time.

"Anyone who treats females that way should be exterminated. I have known males like that," I growl out.

The look on Tehlmar's face is strange—discomfort, maybe—but I can't quite tell.

I swallow my frustration and give him a tight smile. "Knowing their filthy hands tampered with my body makes me feel sick."

A heavy silence falls between us, one I hope lasts a while. Talking to Tehlmar sets off alarms in my head. I'm not sure if it's his choice of words or some deeper instinct, but it leaves me uneasy. Not that I would trust him anyway, but it adds to the confusion and mental strain I'm already feeling.

As we walk across a clearing, his words echo in my mind. It seems there's absolutely nowhere in the galaxy where women are safe.

I wonder if he knows any women who were abducted, but the question feels too personal, so I keep it to myself. There might be other human women on this planet, and I hope we cross our paths, and find a way out of this together. No one should have to live this kind of nightmare alone.

It makes me curious about women's rights in his homeland. If women are such a prize for these aliens and other species know about it, are there any laws to help?

I turn to him. "At this point, I don't think there is any place where females are protected."

He huffs out an inarticulate response, his hair whipping around as he looks both ways, his long ears twitching.

"Are there any laws protecting them on your planet?" I ask in a low voice, but he is already moving faster, crossing over shrubs as I struggle to keep up.

I try to match his pace, but I'm panting and my legs are too short to close the gap.

"Tehlmar," I gasp, heaving. "Wait."

He glances at me, but doesn't slow down. "I recognize this area. There was a cart tied to a tree up ahead."

"Is it still there?"

"No, but there are tracks in the soil," he says, motioning for me to catch up. "If we hurry, I am sure we can find something useful."

I groan under my breath but follow, glancing over my shoulder to check for any hunters following us. Tehlmar looks back, his gaze briefly sweeping over me before he speeds up even more. I feel that strange sensation between my legs again, not arousal, just frustration at his pace that leaves me trailing behind. It's clear I'm in for a long journey with this alien, one I might not enjoy.

Thankfully, this time he pauses, waiting for me to catch up before heading into a small clearing with a long tree downed in the middle. There, the cart and an animal hitched to it come into view.

A long tug of excitement pulls at my heart; I want to run to the creature, but I hesitate, intimidated by its sheer size. I glance at Tehlmar to see if he shares my caution, but he's focused on inspecting the area, slipping behind trees and scanning to ensure we're alone.

I stay where I am, continuing to study the animal.

It is much larger than me and about the size of a draft horse, with beautiful deep-blue fur and wavy brown patterns scattered across it.

I take a few steps closer, relieved that it appears to be asleep.

Its legs remind me of a spider, with knees that jut out beneath as it lays down, three on each side. That's where the resemblance ends, though; its bulky body leads to a short neck tied to the tree with a thick rope halter.

The cart is secured to it with similar ropes, one thick buckle at the bottom, with the rest disappearing into the fur around its face.

Its face is endearing, with a short snout and wide nostrils that flare with every whistled breath it lets out. I'm tempted to reach out and touch it, even as a voice in my mind warns me to be cautious.

Its fuzzy tail, about half the length of a horse's, but shaped more like a dog's, flicks periodically, likely to swat any insects.

Tehlmar heads straight for the animal, and I raised an eyebrow in surprise. Is he really that bold or just arrogant? Approaching a sleeping animal this large could be dangerous, unless he's with it? I stay rooted to the spot, watching as he bends down to inspect it.

The animal stirs, glancing at him sleepily before shutting its eyes and opening its mouth in a wide yawn. The lack of sharp teeth helps me relax a bit.

My heart aches, wondering how long it's been trapped here. "Does it know you?" I ask.

"He's an argila, native to my home world. They're very docile creatures."

I hum a response, relieved that I'm not at risk of being attacked anytime soon. Tehlmar continues to speak as his thin fingers work to untie the knots of the ropes around the tree.

My gaze lowers to the animal's feet, which are gnarled pads of thick brown skin.

"Do you think there are genali nearby? I mean, it feels like a trap to leave a cart in the middle of a clearing like this," I say, a chill creeping up my spine.

I look around, feeling a spike of anxiety, as though we've walked right into an ambush.

"They are not here," he assured me. "Dust has gathered on the cart, there's no slime, and the animal seems smaller than it should be. It's a few cycles without proper food and water. Whoever left it probably doesn't even remember it exists."

Rage replaces my fear as I think of the poor creature, abandoned by its owners after they'd used it and moved on. The similarities between these hunters and some human sits very uncomfortably in my stomach. If it were a book or film, I'd assume they were just a metaphor for evil.

Despite its awkwardly bent knees, the argila is still taller than me and I have to stretch to reach its head. It lets out a soft whine as I touch it, revealing gentle, rubbery teeth that look more like the ribbed baleen of a whale than anything threatening.

Dust motes fly out from its fur and a musky, pleasant scent follows. Nothing like a horse, with a hint of pepper in it that makes my nose twitch.

Lowering my hands, I scratch at its neck, ready to speak, when I feel a sharp twinge in my own neck. Groaning quietly, I turned back to the argila. "Did they hurt you?" I murmur in Farsi. The animal's tail wags a little faster, and it lets out a long, braying sigh of contentment, its skin twitching with delight. It startles me for a moment, but when I look at its face, its eyes are tightly shut and its mouth is open, with the tip of its large black tongue peeking out.

I laugh as its eyes flutter open, skin still twitching, but much more gently now.

"You are so strange," I say to the argila and it bellows in a deep, tuba-like tone before bumping its head to me. I scratch its neck, feeling a surprising sense of comfort with this alien creature, who is sweet and guileless.

My musing ends as the argila nudges against me one last time for attention before crouching slowly in front of me.

Realizing that it wants to graze, I step back and watch it with horror as its knees jut out on either side until they are almost touching the ground as well. It must stay that way for its short, broad neck to reach the grass.

My initial revulsion quickly turns into amusement, and I wish I could communicate with it. I'd probably get clearer answers than from Tehlmar.

The argila, bending low like this, looks straight out of a horror movie, yet it's somehow the cutest thing I have seen. It says a lot about my mental state, but I don't care. My sense of nearly everything was warped the moment I woke up on an alien planet.

If I had come across something like this on Earth, I'd have screamed and run. Now all I want to do is pet it and make sure it's okay. I keep watching the animal as it eats, the rubbery stuff inside its mouth grabbing at the feathery grass. Big, dark lips pulling the blades into its hungry mouth.

It needs a name.

The argila lets out a small hissing bleat and I face it, smiling as a name flashes across my mind.

"Roshan," I murmur under my breath. The argila looks up at me, its warm, bright, beautiful eyes filled with what feels like recognition. I smile softly. "I will call you Roshan because you have brightened my day."

The argila brays joyfully, as if accepting the name, and I repeat it a few times, delighted by its reaction. Encouraged, I step closer, scratching at its neck while babbling nonsense to it, my words a mix of affection and relief. For a moment, it feels like a small, comforting reprieve from everything else.

I let out a soft, wistful sigh, gazing into Roshan's mustard-colored eyes. "It's not our day, is it?"

"Stop startling it. They don't handle surprises well," Tehlmar chides from behind me.

I open my mouth to protest; I hadn't startled Roshan, but before I can say anything, Tehlmar speaks again. His green hair falls forward as he leans down, picking something up from the base of the cart.

"Get into the cart," he says firmly, his voice brooking no argument. "We need to leave before someone else follows the tracks and finds us."