25. Kuret

25

Kuret

Nasrin stands her ground and my heart swells with pride as the brute darts toward her. I take my time to line up a throw before sending the knife hurtling into his head.

It falls to the ground soundlessly, a small distance from Nasrin. Its blood reminds me of her former companion's hair, and I feel elation starting to erupt in the pit of my stomach.

Both of my hearts are thumping violently in my ears and I can feel patterns flickering across my face, but I keep my face stoic.

I won't make the same mistake I made when I first met her.

Nasrin is shaking as her eyes go from the creature to me. I must be a sight, holding onto the large plant behind me for support, blood dripping from the hand holding the thing's knife.

I just killed something in front of her and both hearts ache as I wait to find out if she will leave now.

The pain from the spear still lodged in my thigh is radiating through me. I move to a more comfortable position to catch my breath. I make sure my eyes keep scanning around us in case there are more of those deceptively weak-looking aliens.

I have a feeling that even if there are, they would not want to face the same fate as their friend, but I've been reckless enough as it is. If only Samke was here with me… but no, I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

Roshan makes a sound that snaps my attention to him and when I look to make sure he is not hurt, I find Nasrin holding tightly onto him.

Her eyes are still stuck to the dead body of the creature, and I am torn between celebrating my kill and asking her whether she is still going to leave.

I do neither.

I can still hear her threats echoing through my brain, the rage and fear in her eyes as she stated how quickly she would walk out if I was violent like I was before. I cannot help but wonder if the only reason she has not left is because she is still paralyzed by fear.

I want to celebrate my victory and roar triumphantly from the mountaintops, but I know how she feels about bloodshed and I would rather not make her uncomfortable, so instead I sit quietly and pull the spear out of my thigh with a wince.

Although I made no promises, I really did intend to keep my hands blood-free until I reunited her with Ree. The night had different plans.

"You're bleeding."

I barely hear her whisper with how hard my hearts are beating but I am sure I would be able to pick up the sound of her voice anywhere now. I look down at the source of pain in my leg and swallow thickly.

"Yes, but it will heal."

She scoffs and circles around the dead body to sit a short distance from me, visibly shuddering when she looks at it.

We sit beside each other in silence for a moment before she pushes away the hand that is doing a terrible job of covering up the wound. "It looks bad," she says. I want to argue with her, but her piercing gaze makes me keep my mouth shut.

"We will have to patch it up to avoid infection," she concludes and I slide my pouch out from behind me, opening it up to pull out the tools that I think we will need.

Nasrin lets out a dry, throaty sound that I decode as some kind of laugh when I look up at her face. "You slept without a shirt but left your weapons close," she notes and I make a sound of agreement.

"For times like these," I say and she smiles shakily.

I pull out the spray canister and stitching device Ree used on me earlier when she patched me up and pass them to Nasrin.

Her hands are shaking when she reaches out to grab it and guilt envelopes me like a thick blanket. I should not have let her come that close to danger. I was complacent in my efforts at guarding Nasrin; that's the only explanation for it.

I curse myself silently. How I long for the high walls of a cloister.

She gets up and grabs a water bottle from the bag of supplies and waits for me to stretch my leg out.

I do so and clench my jaws firmly together when she pours the water and then sprays the liquid on my leg. It burns, but I grind my teeth and look at the wall of the cave.

She reaches her hands out again. "Now your hand."

Nasrin quickly patches me up, washes my blood off her hands with the remaining water, and sits down again—this time a little farther away. I don't mind it at all. She can sit as far from me as she likes, as long as she doesn't leave.

I wouldn't even blame her. She had only one request, and that was no more violence. If I had stayed vigilant, I wouldn't have given that creature a chance to strike.

It would have been dead well out of her sight. I'm still not sure how I didn't hear it, or that I was so confident in our position that I decided it was safe to sleep.

Stupid and reckless.

Roshan has moved close now, his eyes still staring at the dead creature, fear evident in them. Clearly he can't always be trusted to protect her.

I've never had to work alone before. I have always had my brothers to rely on, and we made certain that no woman had to defend herself. I can't provide that for Nasrin. In fact, I think I will need to start teaching her how to protect herself.

If she'll even let me.

I am not sure she understood when I explained that I don't have control over whether or not I kill, as there will always be enemies but I am glad she is not gone yet.

"I'm glad we took the cart. I can't walk far with this inconvenience," I mutter to myself as I stare at the wound.

We will need to get moving soon, but my injured leg will slow me down and leave me almost completely incapable of protecting Nasrin and Roshan.

They are both injured and have no way of protecting themselves and I let myself get a leg and a hand wound. The worst possible locations.

"I think I know what that was," Nasrin says as her hand absentmindedly strokes at Roshan.

I look at her questioningly and notice that Roshan has its eyes on me, staring at my wound.

"A braceaaer. They're hunters, like the genali. Tehlmar told me about something that is stronger than it looks."

Being reminded of that male makes my marks flair.

Roshan gets up from where he is pressed beside her and wanders to where I am. He holds my gaze for a long moment before settling beside me, not touching, just hovering.

"I thought he hated me," I say and her shoulders jerk up and down.

Her face is more relaxed. "I thought so too, but he did just see you defend us."

I place a tentative touch on the nose of the animal, and it leans its face into my hand, taking me by surprise. "You must be right. He's a smart animal."

Nasrin's eyes light up and her brown-pink lips stretch into a smile.

I've only seen her direct it at the animal, not me, and now I know why Roshan bleats at her and pushes in for pets. She's as beautiful as the rising sun. I want her to always have a smile on her face when she looks at me.

I'm still enjoying the glow of it when she turns back to Roshan.

"He is the smartest ever."

She keeps on talking about the animal, and before it would have made me jealous, but now I have some hope that she will some day give me the same regard.

Hopefully, I'll do less bleating than Roshan, but I'm not too proud to do what must be done.

If she had not told me herself, I would have been convinced that they came from the same planet and had been together most of their lives. It makes me feel a lot better knowing that Roshan has warmed up to me, almost like I am a part of the loving relationship they have.

I know that I will not be fully a part of what they have, as we will have to separate when they unite with Ree, but I am willing to enjoy the affection while I have it.

After she is done doting on Roshan, Nasrin looks up at the sky. "No sign of dawn yet?"

"The days seem to be abnormally long and the nights must be the same," I tell her. "We should start heading out before we gain more attention or this blood attracts predators."

We glance at the dead braceaaer and then at each other, a strained silence falling on us. "We will have to go a different way than I planned, and you will need a weapon."

She shakes her head with vigor, her long white hair whipping against her face. "No. I understand why you have to do it, but I don't want to. I… I can't."

Her hands are shaking now and once again I wonder why she is so opposed to protecting herself with a weapon when she just used a rock as one.

It makes no sense.

"I understand that, but I am injured. If we come across something more dangerous and I am killed, you will have to protect yourself. You cannot do that without a weapon."

She's still shaking her head and I remember how she looks at the blue beast. "Roshan needs protection, Nasrin. Use a weapon or you put him at risk."

She closes her eyes, then lets out a long breath. She scrambles over to the dead alien, like she has to move fast before she can change her mind.

After a retching sound, she pushes him over. "What?" she says, her voice confused. "He has a gun , Kuret."

"A what?"

"Oh, that didn't translate," she tells me as she wipes green blood off of her hands, her face screwed up into an expression of what I assume is disgust. "It's a weapon that kills from afar by… well, that doesn't matter right now. It makes no sense why he was fighting you like he was. He could have killed you from way over there with this thing."

I look to where she is pointing, confused. He doesn't have a spear or bow.

It doesn't matter. "Whatever that is, you need it. Take that and the knife."

She turns to me, her eyes wide. She's shaking harder now. "Kuret… I'm… I can't. I'm afraid of guns ."

The need to comfort her rises up, but I push it back down. "Do you want Roshan to die, Nasrin?"

I don't let her continue with her argument as I lift myself up into a standing position and move toward the corpse. He has a dagger better suited to our hands than the ones I took from the genali hunters and I pluck it from his body and hand it to her.

"I will do my best to make sure you never need to use it," I promise her.

She gazes uncomfortably at the weapon before taking it from me and putting it away. "Alright then. Let's get out of here before something else shows up."

She pulls an odd-looking metal device toward her, treating it like a wild animal that is about to bite.

There's liquid building in her eyes now. I don't know what it means, but I know I have to keep pushing. I open my mouth to say more, but she starts speaking.

"You're right. If they have guns here, then if we don't use them too, we're going to die. I can teach you how to use it, Kuret, though I hate them and would prefer to never even touch one."

"If we find another one, then yes, you can teach me. That one is yours. Also, I know you won't like that I say this, but you need to also learn how to use a knife. Not right now, I will need to heal a bit more first but consider it."

She swallows hard but doesn't argue with me and I take that as a good sign. With a grunt, I push myself to my feet again, sucking in air through my teeth in pain.

The wound isn't as bad as I expect, and there is less pain. Strange.

I strip the body of anything else useful, pleased to find another kit with the tools Ree showed me how to use, plus more of the disgusting rations. After hooking Roshan up to the cart, she fills up the empty bottles by the stream and loads them into the cart before climbing in herself.

It is slow progress, but we move toward another cave. As much as I would like to simply move quickly through the night back toward Ree, I don't think we will make it with me injured and Nasrin unable to defend herself.