19. Kuret

19

Kuret

I wouldn't have imagined her ever thanking me for anything, especially not after how our interactions have gone so far. Judging from the look on her face, she didn't expect it either.

I do not know if it is the lack of disgust on her face or her thanks, but I feel like a bit of my honor has been restored. She might trust me a bit more after this.

It will definitely be a different story with the animal, though. I can see its yellow eyes still filled with distrust and anger, staring daggers straight at me. I ignore it. My priority is the female and her safety.

As if to mar the calm sands between us, she turns away from me. "Do you go around wounding innocent people and animals just so you can fix them up and earn their trust?"

I frown and turn to her to insist that I would never do anything like that again, but the look on her face tells me that it is no use trying to change her mind… for now.

A surge of loneliness and regret rises. I have lost everyone I care about. All my friends are gone, just like that. Now, I am left with a female I'm supposed to protect, but I have a feeling she is going to make it very difficult.

My mind's on fire, aching for someone to talk all this through with. Samke's face with those big ears, keeps popping into my mind, then that large manticorid. I need another male to help me make sense of this female. I have so many thoughts in my mind about this place, but I must maintain the proper boundaries as her guard.

It will be a long journey back before I can talk with Thivoll about them. Even then, there is no guarantee he would welcome my friendship, and it hurts my hearts to have yet another reminder of the bonds I have lost.

I realize she is still looking at me with distaste, wondering about my motivations. "No," I reply. "It is a tool I reclaimed from the hunters I killed. I learned how to use it from Ree, a woman like you."

"Yes, you said that. Tell me more about her."

The animal pushes into her a little, causing her to lose her footing.

I reach out a hand to steady her, placing it at the small of her back so she falls on it instead of the ground.

Her protective companion lunges at me, but I dodge it., It snaps at the air and then bare its strange teeth at me.

It doesn't stop snarling at me, even when the woman tries to keep it calm, so I take a step back and start to make a clicking sound, hoping that will work. The same one we use to help calm young males who have just been pushed out of the cloister.

"He has a name," she says, supporting herself with a boulder now instead of the animal.

I can't blame the animal for its attitude, but it needs to stop or she is going to get injured… more injured.

Is it the animal's language she was just speaking? It would explain the loyalty I have seen from this animal, which should be as alien to her as it is to me.

"A name. He told you this?"

"Of course not," she says with a huff in her voice. "I can't talk to animals. I named him."

Once again, I am left feeling foolish. "What did you name him, then?"

Her eyes sparkle with pride as she turns to look at him. "I call him Roshan. It means bright in my native language."

The sparkle leaves her eyes as quickly as it came and I feel sad for her. Perhaps being taken from our homes and everything we used to know is something we can bond over… but, no. She is female.

My stomach feels tight, but I push the thought aside.

"Rooshun," I stammer, wondering why it does not sound like what she said, considering that she is speaking my language.

She lets out a mocking trill. "Roshan, his name is Roshan."

The creature looks round at her, probably wondering why she is calling its name.

I watch her mouth move in hopes that it will help me say the name better. "Rashun."

Her eyes light up again. "Close but not quite. Ro-shan."

She drags out the syllables and I repeat it, getting it right this time.

"Greetings, Roshan. Will you stop trying to bite me now?"

It does not respond or seem threatened by me anymore, simply turning away.

With the animal completely distracted, I turn to face her, still keeping my distance so it doesn't get alarmed and charge at me. "My name is Kuret. What is yours?"

She looks warily at me, as if considering whether or not to trust me with her name. "Nasrin, my name is Nasrin."

Her name is intriguing, and I find myself rolling it around on my tongue—enjoying the way it tastes—before I try saying it out loud. My first attempt at saying her name is horrendous, but I ask her to repeat it.

She does and I try again a few more times, failing every time.

"What's so hard about saying Nasrin?" she mocks and I frown. She seems to delight in mocking me.

Her name is not native to my language and the syllables feel different, especially the last part of the name. It sounds elongated and almost musical when she speaks it, but it translates to something else on my tongue.

If I can't do something so simple, how can she trust me to keep her safe? I must do better.

I go over the name again silently until it sounds close and then try once more. Her name is a pleasant song coming from my mouth this time and I know I have said it the correct way this time. Pride blooms in my chest.

Her eyes widen slightly and the edge of her mouth starts to lift into a smile. I mirror her, but the smile quickly drops off her face, and she pushes her bright hair behind one of her ears, a tiny appendage I wonder how she can even hear with.

Did I do something wrong? Surely I didn't mispronounce her name to that degree. "Have I said it right, or do I need to keep trying?" I ask in an attempt to lighten the very somber mood we seem to be stuck in.

She shakes her head. "No, you finally said it right."

She turns back to me, her voice flat and face set in a displeased scowl. I find myself thinking about how many women's names I knew before I was abducted.

Even as a cloister guardian, I never asked the women their names. I didn't need to know them personally to protect them, and it's not like they would tell me if I did.

The sun has not risen a second time and I know the names of two women now: Ree and Nasrin. I enjoy how Nasrin's name tastes on my tongue, the foreignness of it, and the way the last part comes out as a gentle, melodic whistle. I want to continue to call it out as much as I can.

I like the way it feels in my mouth and I like the way she forces herself not to smile a little every time I say it. Too bad she will find it strange if I begin to repeat her name over and over until I slumber. It is beautiful, like she is.

But I need to stop being strange. I simply want her to like me, as much as I like her name. More, even.

The lustrous black cloth covers most of her, but I can see her smooth brown skin mixed with small silvery patches behind her hands. Her eyes are beautiful, yet strange, with small black circles in the middle of a brilliant white. Nearly as white as her teeth, which I only see when she snarls at me.

Her laugh is a soft tinkering that I have not heard nearly enough of and her voice, at least when she is speaking softly to the animal, is a gentle melody.

I remind myself not to stare too long. My mind and eyes start to wander to the rest of her body as I wonder what the silver patches might look like under her clothes, but I stop myself, recalling how uncomfortable Ree felt when I did it to her.

Instead of just staring, I decide to tell her what I think. "The pattern on your skin is quite unique," I express and her frown deepens.

I point to the hand that is still scratching at her Roshan's fur. I can understand her not noticing such markings as those she had been born with. It would be like me noticing my dark gray skin.

She looks down and squawks, sounding similar to an avoid, and the sound nearly makes me laugh. Her eyes are as wide as sand disks as she stares at her hands, eyes flitting from side to side. The long sleeves of her clothes recede until they are around her elbow and she gasps softly.

I appreciate the thought, but I don't say anything. I'm still being careful, trying not to ruin the mood that seemed to be getting slightly better between us.

She pulls a face that I can't quite discern and her lips move in a wordless chant. I watch her, continuing to appreciate how the silver coloring spreads over her skin in small, strategically placed patches.

Nasrin's chanting gets more audible, but I can't understand the language she is speaking. It is smooth and pretty, with no clicks or whistles like mine, but it sounds worried. Her dark furred brows, such a stark contrast to her white hair, are furrowed and there is no hint of joy on her face.

I must have done something wrong again. Maybe I said something disrespectful to her, which could easily be the case, as I do not have a single idea what her customs are like.

I curse silently and wish I had never mentioned it. Have I insulted her instead of complimenting?

Maybe being unique is not a compliment for her people, so I wrack my brain for some other way to express it to her. "Nasrin," I call out and her head whips around to face me, the worried look still prominent on her face.

I gesture my apologies to her before I speak again. "I am sorry if I disrespected you. I just meant to say that your skin is beautiful."

She still looks horrified when I say it and I feel annoyance creeping up my spine, not at her but at myself. Females have always been confusing to me and it seems I will mess up with them no matter the species. I silently curse my inexperience and lack of tact.

Instead of giving up, I strengthen my resolve to learn. I am not sure how long it will take for Nasrin and I to get to Ree and the others. But in the meantime, I will make sure to learn everything so I don't get an appalled stare from her the next time I try to pay a compliment.