Chapter 28

“He’s a member of the Academy, so we decided it best to hand him over to the head of the board,” Kelevra explained as he helped Madden lower down onto his couch in the boathouse.

After a weeklong stay in the hospital, he was mostly healed, aside from a few lingering bruises. Even his skin where he’d suffered the burns had been saved since he’d been rushed so quickly to the ER. Moving around was still a bit difficult, his limbs a little stiff, but they’d been reassured that would go away on its own with more time.

Madden made a noncommittal sound to let his friend know he’d heard him.

“They’d already expelled him and stripped him of any benefits he’d collected by being a trainee,” Zane continued for Kel. The two of them hovered by the couch as they spoke. “He’s also been charged with several serious crimes, all of which will put him away for at least a decade.”

“I still think he’s lucky to be getting away with his life,” Kelevra drawled, “but since a member of the Satellite was the real target, this seemed like the best way to handle things. The head of the board was highly against the death penalty, despite my prompting.”

“We could cause an accident,” Zane suggested, “if you’d like.”

“Why?” Madden lifted a shoulder in a half-shrug. “I can’t remember it anyway, and according to you all, it was the Butcher’s fault, really.”

“We didn’t say that…”

“No?” He set his elbows on his knees. “He was the real target, I just happened to be in the way. You still haven’t told me what I was even doing on campus that day. I would assume I was there to see you, but that doesn’t explain why I was opening the Butcher’s car.”

Kelevra and Zane shared a look, but before Madden could question it, there was a single knock, and then Great wheeled a bike into the main room.

“This came in for you while you were away,” the racer said, stopping and putting down the kickstand. “I checked it to be sure everything was in order, but no one has ridden it. What do you think?”

“I think…” Madden stood, waving off Zane when he went to help him, and then slowly walked toward the bike, “…it’s green.”

A little darker than mint green, like a muddied pastel.

“I assure you,” Kelevra drawled behind him, seemingly finding humor in this situation, “you made that selection all on your own.”

The bike was the latest model, with gold embellishments that were super flashy and not his usual style. His eyes took it in and then trailed lower, stopping on the burgundy stain on the concrete only a few inches away.

Guest followed his gaze. “Oh, that’s where Eric died. Or maybe,” he tapped his chin, clearly unsure, “it’s where the Butcher shot Canham—the leader of that group that came after you for money.”

“The one that Ives got involved with to get back at Berga?” Madden stated.

“Well, yes.”

“You’re not getting any stupid ideas, are you?” Kelevra asked. “Even if you blame the Butcher, he’s protected. You can’t—”

“Relax.” Madden scowled. “I’m not going to do anything to him.”

“No?”

“Why would I?” He met Kel’s stare. “I hardly know the guy. ”

Kelevra held his gaze for a while and then snorted. “Suit yourself.”

Rebecca had told him all about how he and the Butcher were supposedly dating. She’d gone on and on about how much they cared for one another and how important to Berga Madden was. It’d all pretty much gone in one ear and out the other.

Frankly, Madden didn’t believe her.

And seeing as how he hadn’t seen or heard from the Butcher since that day he’d woken up surrounded by Satellite in the hospital, it was safe to assume he didn’t believe it either.

So why bother?

He didn’t want revenge. He didn’t want anything.

Not remembering meant everything could go back to how it had always been.

“How long did the doctor say you had to wait before you could start riding again?” Great asked, pulling him from his thoughts.

“He needs at least another two full weeks of recovery,” Zane warned, his words more meant for Madden than the other racer.

Madden rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I got it, doc. Chill out, I’m in no shape to do much of anything anyway.”

“Are you hurting anywhere?” he frowned.

“It’s fine.” Madden was done being poked and prodded at. He just wanted to lay down and have some peace and quiet. The hospital visits had been a nonstop revolving door. It was a miracle he’d gotten any sleep and healed at all.

“It’s a shame this has to wait so long to be broken in.” Great ran his palm over the black leather seat of the bike.

“Go ahead and ride it if you want,” he offered.

“What?” he blinked at him, shocked. “You serious?”

“Why not?” Madden scowled at the bike. “I hate that color. I don’t know what I was thinking when I chose it. Momentary lapse in judgement, I guess.”

“Yes,” Kelevra chuckled. “Let’s call it that for now.”

“Call it whatever you fucking want.” Madden motioned for Great to get the bike out of his boathouse. “Have at it. I’m going to shower and then sleep for a week.”

“I’ll let the Academy know you’ll be out for the rest of the month,” Kelevra offered. “Would you like me to stick around and accompany you for a bit?”

“And keep you from Rin?” he clicked his tongue. “No, thanks. I know his brother. The dude is scary. Remind me to stay on the twins’ good side.”

“What about your parents?” Zane asked.

“What about them?” Madden hadn’t seen them once. They’d promised Rebecca that they were canceling their conference on Raf and heading straight back as soon as they’d been informed he’d been severely injured. But they’d never shown. “You know the Odells. As soon as they were told I was awake, they turned the ship around and went back to finish up business.”

He couldn’t even blame them for it. That’s just who they were. If there was anything he was good at, it was accepting people at face value. Life was too short to second guess all the little details.

“I suppose that means there won’t be a family dinner this month,” Kelevra said. “Silver lining.”

“It’s all smoke and mirrors anyway,” Madden stated. “All relationships are.”

“That so?”

“Yeah. Don’t get me wrong, my parents care about us, but they’re strict because they care about the family name more. Those dinners are a complete waste of time. We all just sit around pretending to be interested in the other's lives, when in reality, I’d rather be racing, and Rebecca would rather be binging one of her shows.”

“Sounds a bit jaded,” Zane pointed out. “That’s unlike you.”

“Is it?”

His friend seemed to be considering something for a second before speaking. “The Butcher hasn’t been to class since the explosion.”

“Really? Didn’t you say he was practically unharmed?”

“You don’t sound like you care one way or the other.”

“Why should I?” He rolled his eyes. “Because we supposedly got close in the time I don’t remember?” Madden held out his arms pointedly. “Where is he then? I don’t see him, do you? You’d think a guy would want to stick around his boyfriend if he were hospitalized like I was.”

“Are you upset that he wasn’t?” Kelevra suggested, and Madden laughed.

“No,” he grinned. “I was only making a point. I’m not sure what gave you all the impression that he and I were serious, but clearly, you were mistaken. So, no, I don’t care if he’s been skipping school. I’ve got my own problems to deal with. Like that fucking ugly hoverbike I’m now stuck with. Do either of you want it?”

“Keep it,” Kel told him. “You might change your mind.”

“I won’t.”

He wasn’t exaggerating to get them off his back where the Butcher was concerned. Madden really didn’t want to know where he was or what he was doing. And he didn’t give two shits that Berga hadn’t come back to the hospital to see him. It just made all of this a hell of a lot easier, after all.

No matter what anyone else said to him about the two of them, he was going to trust the actions of the Butcher more. And Berga’s actions? They told him everything he needed to know.

Nothing between them had ever been significant.

Madden wandered over to his fridge and momentarily paused. Usually, it was difficult to find anything in there, which was why he kept most drinks in the mini refrigerator instead, but someone had organized it, and there was water right at the front.

“What’s wrong?” Zane asked.

“Nothing.” He grabbed a bottle and twisted off the cap, tossing it carelessly onto the counter. “Weren’t you guys leaving?”

“Kicking us out?” Kelevra shook his head. “Rude.”

“Ledger should be on his way.” Zane checked his multi-slate, no doubt to find out where the other Retinue member was.

“Why?” Madden tried and failed to hide his irritation. “Look, you guys are great and all, but I really need some time alone.”

“Because you’re heartbroken?” Kelevra teased.

He frowned at him. “No, because I’m exhausted.”

“Still,” Zane said, “you shouldn’t be on your own just yet.”

“Shower. Sleep. Those are the only things on my agenda. I’ll be fine. Go. And call Ledge and tell him not to bother showing. I’m locking the doors behind you and shutting my multi-slate off for the rest of the evening.”

“The doctor said it’s possible your memories could return to you at any given moment,” he reminded. “If or when that happens, it can be very discombobulating.”

Kelevra snorted. “Your abundant vocabulary never ceases to amuse me.”

“I’ll be fine,” Madden insisted, only for Zane to scoff at him .

“You don’t know that.” The med student crossed his arms stubbornly. “You’re missing almost two months, Madden. This isn’t a minor matter. That’s a lot of time. Aren’t you even remotely interested in filling in the blanks?”

“Not really,” he admitted with a shrug. “You’ve all filled in the cliff notes, so who cares if I actually remember anything?” He shooed them toward the large, open roller door. “Go on, and shut that on your way out, thanks.”

“But—”

“Let’s go.” Kelevra hooked an arm through Zane’s and practically dragged him backward toward the exit. “If he says he’s fine, he’s fine. No use babying him.”

“At least let Ledger—”

“Nah,” Madden waved at them, “I’m good.”

It was like he’d been holding his breath the past week, all of the air whooshing out of him as soon as the door was rolled down, blocking him from their view. Madden quickly tapped the button on his multi-slate that would lock both that door and the side one, ensuring no one could walk in on him.

He set the water bottle down and braced himself on the counter, letting his eyes slip shut momentarily.

When the doctor had asked how he was feeling earlier, he’d lied to get out of there sooner. There were still a lot of aches, and the spot at his side where the stitches were already healed over twinged when he made any sudden movements. With their advanced medical technology and his Vital healing, he should have been fine by now, but it was taking his body a lot longer than usual.

The throbbing in his head got worse and he winced and rubbed at his temples. A shower was definitely in order, he hadn’t been fibbing there. The thought of hot water practically had him moaning, and he headed toward the stairs.

It took him a while to make it all the way up them, but he refused to admit defeat and call someone for help.

Damn Butcher.

This was all his fault.

If Madden hadn’t been there that day, none of this would have happened.

He entered his bedroom and went straight for the attached bath, hesitating in the doorway when he spotted two towels hung up instead of the single one that was typically there. His gaze moved to the sink, brow furrowing when he took in a pair of toothbrushes. There was a single strand of pale hair on the counter and he pinched it between his fingers, holding it up to the light with a glower.

It was pastel green.

The same shade as that ugly new bike.

Madden flushed it down the toilet.