Chapter 26

Berga knocked on the professor's door before entering, pausing when he spotted Sila Varun standing behind the professor’s desk and the room otherwise empty. “Where is Professor Delmar?”

The two of them had agreed to lunch off campus today, mostly because Bay had been interested in learning how Berga was doing. Oddly, he’d been looking forward to the discussion, happy to share that his condition had vastly improved ever since he’d made the conscious decision to be with Madden.

Dating, it seemed, was weirdly good for him. It was nice knowing there was someone there he could always rely on. The fact it was someone outside of the Brumal actually made it better even, something he hadn’t predicted.

Perhaps he should be more nervous about how content he was dating the Mad King, Flix’s warnings always on the outskirts of his mind, but…He wasn’t. For the first time in a long time, Bega didn’t feel trapped by his past or anxious over his future. He was living in the present, and that alone had a million weights seemingly lifting off his shoulders.

“Out.” Sila didn’t glance up from the tablet he was scrolling through as though he’d already suspected who’d just walked in. He'd be in trouble if it’d been anyone other than Berga. Students weren’t allowed to snoop through their teacher's things, and it was so obvious the device he was currently holding belonged to Bay that it was almost eye-roll-worthy.

“I had a scheduled meeting with him.” Berga checked the time on his multi-slate. He was only two minutes early.

“He’s aware.”

“I’ll wait then.”

“You do that.”

Despite the fact he was dating Berga’s friend, the two of them hadn’t spent much time together, not to mention time alone. He tipped his head and inspected the younger man, but since it was just the two of them, Sila wasn’t putting on the mask he donned for the outside world.

“How are you doing?” Berga asked, stilling when Sila chuckled.

“Sorry, it’s just,” he set the device down, “small talk? Really?”

“Should we stand here in silence then?”

“I’m sure we can find something to discuss,” Sila said. “Some shared interest.”

“If you want to talk about Bay, there’s no need to beat around the bush.”

Sila smirked at him. “Why? Do you want to talk about your boyfriend, Butcher?”

“With you?” He shook his head. “Not especially.”

“Ouch. That kind of hurts my feelings.”

“Don’t lie.”

“Why not?” Sila rested his hands on the desk and leaned forward as though conspiratorially. “Oh, is that particular skill reserved for you?”

“I don’t lie.”

“Twisting the truth is a form of dishonesty,” he stated.

“Is it?” On some level, Berga obviously knew that. “I’m a rather upfront person.”

“That’s the thing about people who are seemingly always honest though,” Sila said. “It makes telling a lie every now and again that much easier for them to get away with.”

“There is a point to this discussion, I imagine?” Because if not, Berga had better things to do.

Sila rounded the desk and perched on the edge, crossing his arms. “Relax, your secret is safe with me.”

“I don’t know what you’re referring to.”

“Your new toy.”

“I don’t follow.”

“If you’re worried I’ll tell Bay if you admit it, don’t be. Do you really think he didn’t figure it out all on his own? How else would I know? We tell each other everything.”

Berga’s spine stiffened. “He wouldn’t talk about me to anyone.”

“It’s amazing what you can ring from a guy after forcing them to ride your cock for twelve hours straight.” Sila shrugged like it was no big deal. “You don’t have to feel bad for him. The professor liked every second of it.”

He should go. Whether or not Bay was venting about him to his boyfriend, details of their sex life were of no interest to Berga. He’d either wait in the hall or call and reschedule, it was pointless to linger here.

“Going to keep denying it?” Sila asked, stopping him when he took a single step toward the door.

Berga sighed. “I don’t owe you anything.”

“That’s true,” he agreed. “I guess I’m just curious how far I can push you before you try to do to me what you did to Madden Odell. ”

His expression twisted into one of disgust. “That would never happen.”

“Why? I’m not murder-worthy?”

“If that’s what you think you know,” he drawled. “You’re wrong. I’ve never intended to harm him, let alone kill him.”

Sila nodded as if he believed him. “Just pet his hair, maybe pluck out his eyes. I noticed the earrings he’s been wearing lately. Aren’t those the ones you bought with Bay a few months ago? What did you say in the shop that day?” He tapped his bottom lip. “They reminded you of something you always wanted to feel in the palm of your hand but couldn’t have, isn’t that it?”

“You don’t want to be playing this game with me.” Berga felt the first stirrings of annoyance untangle within him and he glared at Sila.

“Because you’re so much better at it?” He wagged a finger. “While it’s true you’re skilled at omitting important details, that doesn’t change the fact you aren’t the manipulative sort, Berga.

“You don’t consider gifting my lover a pair of earrings that remind me of his eyes manipulative? Interesting.” Not really.

“Earrings you’ve had for a while,” he corrected. “Did you tell him that part? Or did you pass them off like they were shiny and new?”

“They were new.” It’d only been like three months since he’d purchased them, and he’d never worn them himself. They’d sat in a drawer by his bedside all this time, hidden away and only taken out after a particularly stressful day. And even then, Berga had merely run his thumb over the sleek surface before snapping the velvet box closed.

“Does he know how long you’ve been thinking about him?” Sila noticeably switched tactics, and though Berga didn’t understand why, he went along with it. “How long you’ve wanted him?”

“I didn’t want him.” That would imply Berga had sat around pinning for the Mad King since they were children, which wasn’t the case. He’d developed an odd fascination with the guy’s hair and his eyes, that was it. A fascination he’d been denied the chance to explore because his friends were concerned he’d take things too far and accidentally harm the Retinue member.

He’d proven them wrong though, hadn’t he?

He would never hurt Madden.

“It was simply a test then,” Sila said. “Was finding out the texture of his hair really that important to you?”

“Yes.” Because it’d reminded him too much of the blood stains in Beryl’s that day she’d died. The way the crimson had dyed her brown hair and made it almost maroon in appearance. Her hair had been wet and sticky, a sensation he still had nightmares about on occasion. It’d completely erased any past memory he’d had of her hair before, even though he knew he used to help comb and braid it for practice.

He'd wanted that back. Those sensations. Wanted to a redo of sorts, and part of himself had been convinced he could achieve that if only he could touch Madden’s.

“And, asking never occurred to you?” Sila grunted. “Of course not.”

“It seemed illogical to assume a man I had very little to do with would allow me to run my fingers over his scalp,” Berga admitted.

“See, this is where you stop being fun, Butcher. Your intelligence often hinders you instead of helping you when it comes to social interactions. You don’t know how to twist people to your liking.”

“I get that you’re an expert at it,” he stated dryly, “but I still don’t understand the point of this conversation. What does it matter to you how Madden and I started?”

“Relax,” he held up a palm. “I’m not trying to crouch on your territory. No matter the means with which you went about it, you won.”

“How so?”

“You wanted to possess him from the beginning.”

“No. I just wanted an answer to an infuriating question. That’s all.” Things were never supposed to make it this far. He’d tried to stop it from happening, even, had resisted this pull toward the Mad King. Doing so had been a waste of energy.

“Ah,” Sila’s eye sparkled with mischief Berga didn’t quit understand, “so you were planning on tossing him aside once you’d satiated your curiosity?”

“Yes.” Initially, that had been the plan. Finally scratch the terrible itch that was Madden Odell and put the whole thing behind him where it belonged.

“Oops.” The younger man suddenly covered his mouth, but he couldn’t hide his maniacal glee. “That was meant to be kept a secret, wasn’t it? But then, we’ve both already established I’m a liar. Did you really think I’d hold true to my word about keeping your secrets safe?”

Berga frowned, not understanding, until he heard something shift behind him. He turned, and the world seemed to grind to a halt the second he locked eyes with a set of inky black ones. “Madden.”

When had he arrived?! Berga hadn’t heard the door open, let alone someone enter, not that the Mad King had made it very far into the room.

“What,” Madden clenched the hand he still had on the door handle around the metal, “is he talking about, Butcher?”

“Oh,” Sila said before Berga could get a word out, “just about how he pretended to be drugged so he could trick you into bed with him.”

“That’s not true!” Berga denied. He’d felt the same effects from Impression as Madden had that night.

Sila cocked his head, but he never lost that smug look. “I wasn’t sure about it before, but now I am. Let me correct myself, Madden. We were talking about how the Butcher pretended to be accidentally drugged so he could trick you into bed with him. There. Is that more accurate, Be’tessi ?”

There. That was why he was doing all of this.

Sila had always hated that Berga used that old term when speaking with Bay. He’d complained it made them sound too close, still not satisfied even after Bay had pointed out he was allowed to refer to Berga as such since Berga was older than him.

“Do not call me that,” he practically growled, putting the pieces together in a way that had him seeing red.

“Darn,” Sila blinked at him in mock innocence, “are we not friends anymore?”

“What’s going on?” Bay appeared behind Madden, easing his way past him to enter the room. He frowned when he took them all in, no doubt sensing the tension in the air. As soon as he noted Berga’s expression, he turned on his boyfriend. “What the hell did you do?”

“Nothing, I’m only hel—”

“Madden!” Berga watched as the Mad king spun on his heels and stormed off, racing after him. He’d deal with Sila later, right now stopping Madden was more important than anything else. “Wait!”

They were almost the same height with the same leg length, yet the other man managed to be a hell of a lot quicker on his feet. He ignored Berga as he hurried down the long halls and then out of the building entirely.

Berga kept calling out to him anyway, practically bulldozing into other students in his haste. They were drawing a lot of attention, partially because he was so obviously chasing after him, but also due to the fact Madden had arrived shirtless. He’d be annoyed about that, about the free show he was putting on for all the onlookers if Berga wasn’t so worried about being misunderstood.

Depending on where Madden had walked in on their conversation, many of the things he’d said to Sila could easily be misinterpreted.

Sila, the absolute asshole, was correct. Berga’s need to always be blunt did interfere with his interactions with others. If he hadn’t been so focused on the facts and their order, he might have seen what the younger man was trying to do. He would have certainly started at the end instead of the beginning if nothing else.

“Let me explain.” It was like talking to a wall. A large, moving, wall.

It wasn’t until they were halfway across the parking lot that he finally got close enough to reach out and grab Madden’s arm, twisting him around so he was forced to acknowledge his presence.

“Let me explain,” he pleaded again, clinging onto Madden’s bare arm when he tried to pull away and shake him off. “It’s not what it sounded like, I promise!”

“Promise?” Madden snorted. “That’s rich coming from you.”

“What do you mean?”

“According to what I just heard, none of your promises are legitimate, Butcher. They never were.”

“No, that’s not…” He desperately shook his head, noticing that Madden had parked his bike close to his hovercar. Berga pointed at his vehicle. “Let’s sit down, please. Hear me out. It really isn’t wh at it sounded like. I didn’t—”

Madden finally got free but stopped at the driver's side of Berga’s car instead of hopping straight onto his bike and driving off. “Not what it sounded like? Look me in the eye, Butcher, and tell me you didn’t come to the boathouse that night with the intention to drug me?”

“I…” Couldn’t say that. “Yes, that part is true, but—”

“Were you even drugged?”

“Yes!” He bobbed his head, not even caring that he must look like a desperate loon. When he reached for Madden’s hand, the man pulled away. “I was on Impression.”

“Did you take it on purpose?” Madden held his gaze steady with his own, and it was impossible to miss the swirling mixture of anger and hurt in his dark eyes. “Have you been playing with me this entire time?”

“No, I mean, yes, but no!” Those questions had different answers and he struggled to respond.

“And these?” Madden tugged on one of his earlobes. “What is this, Berga?”

“I didn’t lie,” he said. “They reminded me of you.”

“You came to the boathouse to take advantage of me that night,” Madden accused. “I bet you were counting on the fact that I’m the easygoing one, weren’t you? You figured I’d roll over and forgive and forget even if you slipped me an aphrodisiac and—”

“I just wanted to touch your hair!” he yelled, realizing how absolutely insane he sounded. “I know I’m crazy. I know—”

“You never wanted me.” Madden removed the earrings. “You’ve never thought of me as a person, let alone a partner. You were just going to take what you wanted and then walk away like nothing even happened.”

“That isn’t true,” he insisted. “Yes, it started out that way, but—”

“Take these back.” He held out his hand, clutching the earrings in a tight fist.

“No,” Berga shook his head. “What are you doing?”

“What I should have done from the beginning,” he said bitterly. “Chasing after you was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made. Take them. We’re done.”

Berga refused.

“Damn it.” Madden grabbed his wrist and hit the buttons on his multi-slate that would unlock his car doors. As soon as they heard the distinct click of the locks, he flung Berga away from himself as though burned by him.

As though he was absolutely disgusted by the thought of touching him.

“I really was nothing but another experiment to you.” Madden reached for the driver's side door handle. “You—”

Berga suddenly found himself lying on his back, staring up at the cloudless gray sky with blurry vision. Before there was pain, there was confusion as his mind struggled to figure out what had happened, but he hissed and grabbed at his shoulder when he sat up.

His car was on fire.

“Madden!” His injured arm was forgotten as he flung himself forward, landing over the Mad King’s body. He dragged him away from the burning vehicle, covering him when there was another loud pop and crackle that flung bits of debris all over.

There was shouting in the distance, but sounded very far away, and it wasn’t until a group of people rushed by him to put out the fire that he realized it was because his ear drums were messed up.

“Wake up!” He shook Madden, clutching him close and inspecting the various injuries.

And there were many.

Madden had been standing right in the way of the explosion and had taken the brunt of the attack. It didn’t help that he was shirtless, leaving himself without even that one extra layer of protection. There were major burns all over his back, as though he’d somehow managed to turn away from the impact just before the bomb had actually gone off.

Shards of glass from the window had embedded themselves into his right side and over his shoulder, and there was a thick piece of metal protruding from just above his left hip. It was thin and had pierced through skin, but had mostly avoided bone, which meant it could have damaged his internal organs instead .

There was so much blood.

If something wasn’t done quick, he would most likely die.

It was like a switch went off in Berga’s head.

Carefully, he settled Madden down on the ground and searched his own pockets. A few of the vials had broken in his fall, but Berga barely noticed the glass that stabbed through his thighs. He pulled out one with a maroon cap and made a sound of relief. It was dangerous to put all those open wounds on the dirty ground but…

Berga rolled Madden over onto his back, wincing at the thought of how much that would hurt if the man were conscious. Then he pressed two fingers to the side of his throat, feeling for a pulse.

Which wasn’t there.

“No, no, no.” Berga popped the top of the vial and brought it to Madden’s lips, pouring all the contents into his mouth. As soon as he was sure it’d gone in, he started chest compressions, slipping into CPR just as someone dropped to their knees on the other side of the Mad King’s body.

“What do I do?” Sila genuinely asked.

“Do you know CPR?”

He nodded and got into position. “Tell me when to switch, and I’ll take over.”

“Okay, right,” Berga pulled back, “now!”

Sila started up where he left off, giving Berga the chance to turn his attention to the massive, wound in Madden’s side. He had to staunch the bleeding but couldn’t trust removing the metal bar .

He tore off his lab coat and pressed against the injury, panic brewing as red began to seep through and stain the material. “He needs to be taken to the hospital!”

“I’ve already called,” Bay reassured. He’d been standing nearby with a bunch of other staff and students.

“They’ll take too long.” Flix pushed through the crowd. “Put him in my hovercar! We’ll take him straight there!”

“Can he be moved?” Berga asked Sila.

The younger man finished up a rescue breath and then checked. “There’s a pulse, but it’s weak.”

“Get him in the car and sit back there with him,” Flix suggested.

Berga nodded his head. “Drive closer.”

His best friend was right. If they waited for the ambulance, Madden would bleed out. This was their best chance.

He caught Sila’s gaze and warned, “I can’t lose him.”

“I’ll help you,” Sila swore.

They had Madden loaded into Flix’s car in less than three minutes.