8. Raven

RAVEN

Eldon doesn’t offer any more details as we make our way back to the house, leaving me just as tightly coiled as I was at the table. The way he holds my hand, shifting between squeezing tighter for a beat and running his thumb over my knuckles, reassures me but still gives me no preparation for what I’m walking into.

Creed’s hand is solid at the small of my back, keeping him just as close, as Brax stomps in front, leading the way, and Zane hovers a step or two behind us.

It should be odd that there are four guys and only one of me, but I think it would break me if any of them demanded that I choose. All that matters is that it’s working for us. They’re not asking me to do anything like that. If anything, they like it even more. The housemate handbook flashes in my mind, combined with Zane’s smart mouth, and I relax at the impending doom tempting to take over me.

Once Eldon has done whatever he needs, I can hopefully talk through everything running through my mind, so I’m not constantly triggered with a bout of worry over where I stand. Casual is usually fine with me, but I can’t deny that this feels like more, and after what I did to Brax… there’s no coming back from that.

We turn down the path that leads to our house and Brax unlocks the door, letting it swing open with a little more force than necessary before heading for the dining table. Everyone else follows him, so I keep in step, murmuring my thanks when Zane holds my chair out for me.

Eldon drags his chair out to my right, dropping down beside me with his usual smirk on his face. “Okay, what is it—”

“Food first,” Creed interjects, and I glare at him. Pity my stomach doesn’t get the memo that we’re mad, though, because it rumbles in agreement a second later. He lifts his eyes, silently begging me to challenge him, but I know when to keep my mouth shut…

When I’m dead.

“I’m beyond stressed with this weird vibe between us. Food can—” Pizza appears in front of me, cutting off my train of thought as I gape down at the deliciousness, drool likely clinging to my chin. Deep dish, extra cheesy, topped high with pepperoni. Fuck. “Fine, food first,” I relent, grabbing a slice. I sink back in my seat, groaning at the good stuff as my eyelids fall closed.

“Now my dick is hard,” Zane grunts, and I peer out of the corner of my eye to find a grin on his face as he makes an exaggerated show of readjusting himself.

Food or dick?

Dick or food?

“You’re distracting her. Let the fucking woman eat so we can go over everything. Then we can think about wet dicks and toe-curling orgasms, okay?” Eldon states, making my core clench at the idea. I can’t find any words, so I hum my agreement and take another bite of pizza.

Thankfully, no one else speaks as we devour the pizzas. I have no control over my hunger and don’t stop until I can’t fit any more in my mouth. The others aren’t far behind me when Zane makes a pile of napkins appear and I clean off my hands, the reminder of Eldon’s announcement rearing its head again.

Turning to face him, I exhale nervously and brace myself. “What is it we need to deal with?”

“You.” I can’t decide whether he just enjoys causing me distress or doesn’t realize that things aren’t as simple as he says.

“Just because you know what you’re thinking doesn’t mean I do, Eldon, and it’s not easy trying to play it cool all the time,” I grumble, leaving myself more vulnerable than I would have liked, but my walls come down so effortlessly in their proximity it’s impossible to stop.

His eyes widen in surprise and he quickly adjusts how he’s sitting so he’s closer to me, our elbows almost touching. “I need to make sure we clear the air and we all know where we stand. We haven’t really had a chance to do that since leaving the outpost, so I think it’s more vital than ever that you understand what you mean to me. Powers or not.”

Well then.

Gulping, I wet my bottom lip. How the fuck am I supposed to be a badass, independent queen when he says shit like that and makes me all gooey on the inside?

“That’s a conversation I’m here for,” Zane adds, while Creed nods and Brax simply stares at me, giving nothing away. Shocker.

“Maybe we need to start off with understanding how Raven’s magic feels to her,” Creed offers, a soft smile on his face as he eyes me across the table, and I nod numbly in response as I try to piece it all together.

“I don’t really know. I just… Brax was just…” I swipe a hand down my face, trying to gather my words instead of rushing to answer. Sighing, I look at the gargoyle in question, his eyes burning into mine as I clear my throat. “I just know that I was petrified, heartbroken, and distraught beyond words. When you were unresponsive, when we couldn’t find your sword, it was all too much. I couldn’t bear to think about you not being here with us. And then my magic just…” I can’t stop saying just, but it’s just… indescribable.

“Can you remember what you did? How it felt?” Brax asks, leaning on the table slightly as he keeps his eyes fixed on me.

I frown, trying to remember, but it’s all a blur, so I shake my head.

“Her hands were on you and she let out the most guttural cry I’ve ever heard. It was like the world stood still… and then your eyes opened,” Eldon explains, my heart racing as he describes the scene, and I can’t imagine how it makes Brax feel. His eyes still bore into mine, not even turning to his friend. Offering me the same reminder from that moment.

One brown. One green.

“You’re a necromancer,” Brax states, the words barely audible over the sudden pounding of my pulse in my ears, but I can’t hide from it anymore.

“I am. I’m a necromancer.” I’ve said it before, but it still feels foreign on my tongue. No matter what, I can’t change this about myself. Whether any of us like it or not, it’s not going to magically disappear.

“How does that make you feel?” Zane asks, running his palm over my thigh, and I turn to look at him.

“I don’t know,” I answer truthfully. “In Shadowmoor, there was no one with this level of magic, not even close. People could barely get by with mundane stuff, never mind…” I wave my hand around, trying to explain, and he nods in understanding. “It’s not something I grew up around. Mama didn’t really use her magic around me at home, and I don’t really remember it from when I was a child. I’ve never met a necromancer. I know it’s against the law to resurrect anyone, and I know I’ve already freaking done that,” I ramble, my emotions clouding my thoughts. “I feel like I’m sinking and it’s frustrating as hell and not who I am at all.”

His hand tightens on my thigh, grounding me without words as he lifts his other hand to my cheek. “I’ll never let you sink, Dove. Not alone, at least. And not because of something as incredible as this.”

“Incredible?” My eyebrows pinch closer together, and he looks at me like I’m crazy.

“You heard me, Raven Hendrix. I wouldn't go all crazy over a girl, give her the housemate handbook and fall fucking hard for her if she wasn't incredible. Magic or not, you’re everything. But I’m not shocked to learn that you’re a badass fucking necromancer, just like you’re a queen at everything else.”

My cheeks feel like they’re on fire, his words mirroring my own earlier, and the steel in his gaze shows me the truth I didn’t realize I needed.

“He’s right, Raven. I know necromancers are usually frowned upon, and what you were able to do, shit, we’ll be eternally grateful for. If there’s any doubt in your mind about our willingness to stay, I’ll eradicate it right fucking now,” Creed chimes in. Zane drops his hand from my face so I can look in his direction and the rawness in his gaze is just as strong as Zane’s was.

“There shouldn’t be any doubt at all,” Eldon states, reaching for my shoulder. “That’s not how this shit goes. We wanted you when you believed you were a Void, and that’s not going to change now that you’re at the complete opposite end of the scale. It also doesn’t change how we feel inside either. I don’t fucking love you more because of it. You’re not a possession or a toy for me to wrangle and use at will. You’re just Raven,” he adds, making my chest squeeze tight and my breathing hollow out.

They’re saying everything I hoped they would but was too scared to hear, and now I don’t know how to process it. I’ve spent the past twenty-four hours lost in a vortex of doom, and they’re tearing it to shreds with just a few words.

A whoosh of air swoops around me, flicking my hair, and I startle when I find myself sitting in Brax’s lap, still nestled between Zane and Eldon. His strong grip on my chin tilts my head to meet his gaze, my heart hammering wildly.

The rest of the table fades away as his stare penetrates my soul. “I haven’t forgotten what you told me on the lake, Shadow. What your parents said to you about your magic. I know that will be playing on your mind.” His words are softer than I’ve ever heard him speak before or I’ll likely ever hear again. “We’re not here to take from you, to use you for your powers, and that’s never going to change, I promise you that. We’re not going to run for the hills either. We’re going to stay right by your side, protecting you just as strongly as you protect us.” He reaches for my hand, lifting it to his chest, and I feel the soft thumping of his heart beating.

I feel what he’s trying to portray without words and my mouth dries. It’s beating because I breathed life into it. It’s beating because I protected him just as they’ll protect me. I nod, unable to find the right words, and he tucks a loose tendril of hair behind my ear as the rest of the guys come back into focus.

“We also need to consider the fact that with this being such a big gift, necromancers are known to struggle with darkness. The power you’ll wield is on another level, and it’s usually one of two, if not three, powers overall,” Creed explains, making my spine stiffen. I gulp. “I know it’s a lot, but if anyone can deal with this, Raven, it’s you.” The reassurance is clear, but I’m scared to take it.

“You have a lot of belief in me,” I murmur, looking at Zane and Eldon, who nod in agreement.

“Why wouldn’t we?” Zane retorts, leaving me speechless. “We’re going to have to work on trying to channel your emotions to help with your power so we can work out what makes you tick,” he adds, and my eyes widen.

“Everybody operates differently. Anger, sadness, happiness, hope, and anything in between,” Eldon states, reaching for my hand. “When you focus on your center, you will start to learn what emotion makes it burn brighter.”

I’m going to need a lie down after all of this information. It’s exactly what I need and overwhelming all at once.

“What is it for you?” I dare to ask.

“Brax is anger, not that you’ll be shocked. Creed is kindness, Zane is happiness and laughter, while I’m connected more with love.”

“How am I even supposed to figure that out?”

“I have a fun way we can figure it out if you trust me,” Zane offers, a telling smirk on his lips as he caresses my cheek with the back of his hand.

“What’s that?”

Brax grunts before anyone can speak and I know that’s the only warning we’re going to get that he’s taking over.

“Outside. Now, Shadow.”