7. Raven

RAVEN

As if my life couldn’t get any worse right now. I’m sinking in despair on the inside while the world keeps spinning around me, and to top it all off, my freaking parents are coming. I do not need the stress that comes with Abel, and my headache only increases at the thought of seeing Mama too.

She’s going to take one look at me and know. She’ll see the difference I’m feeling inside and there’s going to be nothing I can do about it.

Swiping a hand down my face, I stare at my reflection. The natural light still streams in through my bedroom window, brightening up the room perfectly for me to touch up my makeup. I’ve kept it as natural as possible, wanting to have a layer of protection between me and the world, but I don’t even feel like I look the same.

I’ve read of those times when women look in the mirror, assessing themselves, detailing every part of their appearance, and I realize that, until this very moment, it’s not something I’ve ever done. Yeah, I’ve stared at my reflection, done my hair and makeup, but I’ve never looked deeper than the superficial, taking myself at face value.

It’s typical my brain begs for me to do it now after so much has shifted inside of me. After I tried a little mundane magic last night, I’ve been addicted to trying other little bits, which has left a thrumming feeling in my veins all day. It’s euphoric, and I’m obsessed. But now, when I look into my eyes, they seem deeper, bluer somehow.

Is that because of the secret I carry? The magic in my body? I don’t know, but now that I’ve seen it, I can’t unsee it.

Turning my palms up, I look down at my hands, fully aware of what I did with them yesterday, but now they look exactly as they always have. I think? Shit, I don’t know. I don’t think it helps that I woke in Brax’s arms, the shadows disappearing with his touch, but as day came, his sweet words disappeared with them and his gruff attitude was back in place.

All I want to do is curl up in a ball and hide away from the world while I get my bearings, maybe visit Ari because the longing inside of me has already started. I don’t want to have to people. I’m over it. But I’m also very aware that I don’t really get a say in the matter.

A knock on the door breaks through my musings and I sigh, looking at myself in the mirror once more. The smile I force to my lips falls flatter than my hair on wash day as the door creaks open a second later, and Creed appears in the gap. His own smile instantly drops when he takes me in and he kicks the door shut behind him without pause as he marches across the room.

“Whatever is wrong, tell me. I’ll fix it,” he murmurs, stopping behind me, leaning forward to nuzzle his nose at my neck, and my body instantly relaxes a little.

“Where do I even begin?”

His gaze meets mine in the mirror, a sense of understanding in his onyx pools. This time when my lips tip up, it’s real. Pained, but real.

“Do you want me to go and slay your family so you don’t have to see them tonight?” he offers, sincerity in the tension of his jaw, and I laugh.

“Please. That would at least take one thing off my plate.” He stands tall as if to head for the door, but I grab his arm, holding his wrist and turning to face him. “I’m joking. For now, at least. I feel like there’s enough blood on our hands for a few days, don’t you think?”

“For you, I’d take more.”

Hot. As. Fuck.

I don’t think that was what he was going for, but it has my core alive. Eldon was right; unhinged is definitely my thing.

He’s not exactly saying I accept you and your crazy fucking magic, along with the unforgivable I did yesterday, but it almost sounds like it. There goes my hope, getting ahead of me again.

“If you’re happy to see them, shall we get it over with so we can get back here and talk through whatever else is filling that pretty head of yours?”

I nod as his arm slips from my hold and he reaches for my hand. Lifting me from my seat, he pulls me into his chest, tightly wrapping his arms around me. It takes me a second to relax into the hug, not realizing how much I needed it until now.

One by one, my muscles ease, and it surprises me how tense I actually was, but I’m quickly reminded the second he steps back and I have to prepare for the family gathering. Steeling my spine, I roll my shoulders back, my jaw tensing along with it. Creed notices the shift in me but this time he doesn’t try to ease my concerns.

Uniform is a requirement for the evening. Why? I don’t know, but it feels like another barrier around me, so I’ll take it. Creed’s hand settles at the small of my back, guiding me toward the door, but before we reach it, it’s opened from the other side.

Eldon.

“I thought you knew how to knock?” Creed grunts, making me smirk, but Eldon only grins in response.

“I know a lot of things, doesn’t mean I give a shit.” He winks like I’m supposed to know what that means, but he doesn’t elaborate and I am too worked up to dig deeper.

“Let’s get this shit over with,” Brax states from the front door, Zane standing beside him, and I hum in agreement.

“Let’s.”

* * *

The air isthick as we step into the hall. The layout is the exact same as the night of the gala. Damn, that feels like an eternity ago. Everything was different then. I hadn’t had the joy of my parents removing the hold on my magic or the feel of it running through my veins. It was also the night I got to experience three of the Bishops, a night I wouldn’t give up for anything.

With that reminder in my thoughts, I put one foot in front of the other, heading toward where my parents are already seated with Sebastian cozied up to Abel. The other half of the table is empty, though, and I remember that’s because it was Finn who was seated with us last time. There’s a reason his parents aren’t here tonight. A reason he isn’t here tonight. A casualty of a war we have no idea about.

I feel eyes on me as I cut through the room and I know it’s the Bishops, or at least some of them. The whole way here they were insisting on joining me, but I don’t want my father to see their importance to me. Sebastian may have told him, but it’s different than seeing it, and he doesn’t deserve to see my growing weakness with his own eyes.

My father’s back is to me, Sebastian murmuring in his ear while Mama glances around the room, looking everywhere but in my direction. I come to a stop next to Sebastian, hearing the slightest whisper as they seemingly don’t realize I’m here.

“You told me to make sure something drastic happened to bring out her powers, but…”

“Raven, you’re here,” Mama exclaims, interrupting whatever the fuck I was overhearing. Sebastian’s gaze tilts up with a glare and I want to press him on what he was talking about, my pulse ringing in my ears, but Abel stands, his chair scraping obnoxiously across the wood floor as he calls out my name.

“Raven, we’re so pleased to see you. How are you feeling after… everything?” Abel moves to place his hand on my shoulder and I quickly sidestep him, recoiling at the thought of his touch on me. If he notices my distaste or even cares about it, he doesn’t show it, which is far from a surprise. This man has the power to be oblivious to everything around him except what he deems important at the time.

He doesn’t care if I’m loving and affectionate with him. He just wants to know if my magic has made an appearance. The glimmer in his eyes shows it.

“Abel,” I offer in greeting, continuing to move around the table. Mama opens her arms for a hug, but my earlier worries resurface and I slip down into the seat beside her instead. Too scared that if she touches me, she’ll know.

“I was so worried when I heard the news,” Mama gushes, reaching her hand out, but I don’t move to offer any kind of embrace and she eventually drops her hands into her lap. I don’t miss the glance over her shoulder at my father and Sebastian’s words from moments earlier repeat in my mind.

“You told me to make sure something drastic happened to bring out her powers.”

Was he talking about me?

The way my gut swirls tells me he was. Did Sebastian and my father have a hand in what happened yesterday? I can’t deal with this shit on top of everything else. Why can’t things be more black and white?

“Raven…” Abel’s voice sounds irritated, and when I bring my gaze to his, he nods toward Mama. A silent command to respond to her. What is it he expects me to say?

Clearing my throat, I run my hands over my pleated skirt. “I’m fine, Mama. I’m here, aren’t I?” There, how’s that for some fake response?

Mama’s eyebrows pinch, seeing straight through the façade while Abel leans back in his seat, assessing me with curious eyes.

“Any change since we last saw you?”

“You mean since you violated me?” I quirk a brow, my lips twisting at the vein that instantly throbs at his temple. If he wanted a good, obedient child, he should have remained focused on Sebastian and left me the fuck alone.

“Are you always this dramatic, Raven? As a child, I remember you being so sweet and innocent.” His musing pisses me off, and I can’t tell whether that’s what he was aiming for or not.

Fucker.

“Do you always pull your children from class, pin them down, and let someone mess with their magic?” My blood boils as I snap at him. I hate that I’m giving him a reaction, but it’s impossible not to.

“Raven, please lower your voice. We rushed here to make sure you were okay after the terrible attack. I don’t want to waste what time we have with you arguing,” Mama pleads with tired eyes.

My nostrils flare, my teeth sinking into my tongue to bite back another lashing they deserve. “I’m sorry I can’t give you what you want, but it wasn’t me who made decisions for our family all of those years ago. I’m just dealing with the aftermath of it.” My gaze cuts between them both, not even bothering with Sebastian as I brace my hands on the table and rise. “Now, if all you wanted to see was me alive, you’ve had your fill. Unfortunately, whatever the fuck that was yesterday, I’m still as Void as I was the day before. And I can only assume your presence is to confirm whether I’m still a Void or not, so I’m sorry to disappoint, but I am what I am.”

Before I can take a step away from the table, Mama grabs my arm, halting me in place. Her arms are around my neck in the next breath, a tighter embrace than I ever remember as she squeezes me close. “I love you, sweet Raven. Never forget that. You can lie to them, lie to my face, lie to whoever you want, but I see it, I feel it, I know it.” Bile burns the back of my throat, my heart beating so hard in my chest I’m sure it’s going to burst. “I can see the change in your eyes, a sense of distress like never before. Your secret is safe with me. Take a deep breath, gather yourself, and remember what I said. Follow the sun, destroy the shadows, and survive another dawn.”

She releases me a second later, the truth flashing in her eyes; she definitely knows. I subtly nod in response before dashing from the table without a backward glance. I almost stumble over my own feet as I try to hurry away, but I’m quickly enveloped in strong arms a moment later.

“Where’s my Dove flying off to?”

I sag against Zane, not caring that we’re in a room full of people, as I let my heart calm and the tension ebb a little. “I was escaping my cage,” I murmur back when I can finally focus.

“I’ve got you,” he breathes against my hair, the words barely audible above the growing chatter. I’m not sure how much time passes before he leans back and drapes an arm around my shoulders. “Come and join us for a few minutes before we head out, okay? I’ve already spoken to my father about putting a word in with the administration over parent seating the next time they spring this on us.”

I gape at him in surprise. “You definitely didn’t have to do that.”

“I know,” he says with a shrug, guiding me through the crowd.

“I don’t think I want to put them in anyone else’s vicinity. They’re a lot for me to handle, nevermind them tainting anyone else,” I grumble, and he squeezes my shoulder in support.

“We’ve got you, Dove. Always. The good, the bad, and the ugly.”

His words cause a stir inside of me, but I don’t get long enough to accept them before he brings me to a stop at another table. Eldon sits across from the seat in front of me, his mother to his left and Creed to his right. I take the free chair beside Brax while Zane drops into the seat to my left.

“Your father had to rush out, Zane,” Eldon’s mother explains sympathetically, but Zane quickly waves her off.

“It’s not a problem, Mrs. Rhodes. He warned me already that it might happen. You remember Raven, right?”

“Of course,” she gushes, a wide smile on her face as she takes me in. I do my best to offer her one back, but my head is a mess. “It’s so lovely to see you again, Raven. I spoke to your mother at the last event. She had wonderful things to say about you.”

My smile grows tight at the mention of my mother, but I quickly shake it off. If what she murmured to me is true, I can trust her. I hope.

“She has to, right? She’s my mama.”

Eldon’s mother chuckles at my response, her grin spreading from ear to ear like that’s exactly the kind of response she was expecting. I don’t add that if she had asked my father, he may have told her something else entirely, even though the words hang heavy on my tongue.

“I like your spark, Raven. Even when you were a young girl, you used to light up a room with your wit and presence.” My eyes widen at her remark and my body freezes at the mention of me as a child.

“You knew me as a child?” My voice is softer than I would hope, but she doesn’t seem to notice.

“Of course. Evangeline and I became fast friends when we attended Silvercrest Academy together. We lost contact when you two… went off the grid, but there are pieces of you both that are just as strong now as they were then. Shadowmoor can’t take everything from us now, can it?”

Shaking my head, my shoulders relax as her words soothe me in a way I can’t quite describe. “You’re right. It can’t.” She winks at me, and I can feel the guys all staring in my direction, but I keep my gaze focused on her.

“Eldon tells me Brax is being quieter than usual and he’s trying to bring me in as reinforcements to get our tough guy to break. Do you think it’s necessary too?” She asks, changing the subject, and my gaze whips straight to Brax’s.

I remember last night and how he whispered words into the darkness with no effort at all, only to fall into a pit of silence as he let his body do the talking. I’m certain my cheeks are reddening as I twist my lips.

Brax looks at me with hooded eyes, delving deep into my soul as the question plays on repeat in my head. The sound of someone clearing their throat jolts me and I quickly turn my attention back to Eldon’s mother.

“He’s been talking to me just fine.”

Her gaze flickers from Brax to me a few times before she braces her arms on the table and inches closer. “Bottled up?”

I shrug. “Maybe a little, but he’s a goddamn gargoyle. It’s never going to be easy piercing through his tough exterior, right?”

She chuckles at me again, leaning back and giving Eldon a pointed look. “I think the reinforcements are already there, son. Give him time.”

Eldon glares at that, pushing back at her like Brax isn’t even present, but I don’t hear a single word of it as Brax’s huge hand grips my thigh. His thumb runs back and forth, making my body weep with anticipation as I refuse to look at him.

“Okay, you’ve seen us in the flesh now, you good?” Eldon grumbles, rising to his feet as he looks down at his mother, who continues to grin.

“I’m good.”

“Awesome, because we’ve got other stuff to do,” he states, making his way around the table until he’s standing beside me and offering his hand. The others stand as well and I frown at him in confusion.

“Like what?”

He smirks at me as if it’s obvious, but I clearly haven’t caught on.

“Like you.”