4. Raven

RAVEN

It’s not a surprise to find Zane, Eldon, and Creed waiting with Leila, all dressed in their uniforms and ready to go. But it is a surprise to see Brax there too. He’s standing closer to the kitchen while everyone else is by the main door, so the distance he’s trying to keep is clear, but the fact that he’s still with us is a relief.

My pink hair is braided, the ends falling between my shoulder blades, but I’ve left my face makeup free. The night looms dark outside the back windows, I have no idea what time it is, and I’m ready to face-plant into my mattress as soon as I get back.

No sooner do I close my bedroom door behind me does Zane rush to my side, clasping my hand with his and heading for the exit without a backward glance at the others. I shiver at the chill in the night air as we step outside, but with the pace Zane has us walking at, I quickly shake it off. Leila appears to my right a moment later, and a swift glance over my shoulder confirms the others are right behind us as we follow the thin crowd of students sullenly heading toward the main academy building.

Zane’s thumb softly strokes over my knuckles, grounding me, but I still have a niggling feeling in my gut because we haven’t had a conversation about what happened and how they feel about it. It’s like a barrier between me and them, and I can’t deny that I want it gone. Yet the fear of rejection claws at my insides, despite my best efforts of exuding the “badass bitch” vibe I’ve wrapped myself in for most of my life.

I try to compartmentalize the irritation, but it still lingers at the edge of my thoughts as we step through the marbled halls and out into the courtyard where they hold all of the gatherings. I manage to cast a glance over my shoulder at Brax as we come to a stop at the back of the crowd, but he’s gazing off into the distance, making it impossible to get a read on him. Eldon catches my attention, and the smile he offers fills me with hope, which only intensifies when the corner of Creed’s mouth tips up too.

The murmurs that fill the air aren’t the usual bubbly type. There’s no giggling, no joking, nothing. Just a whole swarm of worry and fear, and it’s so thick it feels like it’s going to crackle through the air at any moment and zap everyone in the vicinity.

Through the sea of people, my eyes lock on the blue pools that match my own and my back stiffens. His eyebrows furrow as he blinks, almost as if he’s seeing things, and a knot forms in my stomach, but before I can decipher any more of it, Genie appears at his side and steals his attention.

“Are you okay?” Zane murmurs against the shell of my ear, and I nod. The movement is more sluggish than usual, the tiredness seeping through my bones too hard to conceal at this point.

“Students.” One word in greeting from Professor Burton, who appears as a projection in the sky as usual. It’s odd seeing him with the dark background and the stars flickering instead of the light-blue sky we’re used to. “I believe we have everyone in attendance?” His voice continues to echo around us, but the question is aimed at Lyra, who appears on the projection beside him. I haven’t seen her since the first day I arrived, the memory instantly coming back to me.

The last time I saw her, she was in her office with her nose high in the air, a snarl to every word she spoke, fueled by a level of sass that could rival my own. Until she learned who my father was, that is. Then everything changed. Now, she stands to Professor Burton’s right, her hair a little more unruly, chewing on her bottom lip, and a flash of fear in her eyes as she nods back at him.

With that confirmation, Professor Burton turns to look back out over the crowd, all gathered and ready. “Thank you so much for coming together after a devastating turn of events unraveled at Shadowmoor’s outpost this afternoon. I’m sure many of you want to get a good night’s sleep, but it felt imperative that we address the situation as swiftly as possible.”

“It definitely could have waited until morning. I’m exhausted,” Leila whispers, and I chuckle in agreement, thinking the exact same thing.

“For the second and third years that haven’t been caught up to speed yet, the first years were able to take part in an outpost visit to Shadowmoor this afternoon. An attack ensued not long after their arrival. An attack that involved trolls, fireballs, and the faceless Amayans.” Amayans, that’s what they’re called? Putting a name to their not-so-existent faces makes a shiver run down my spine. Gasps ring out around us from the older years clustered in the courtyard, but the first years continue to remain silent, still dwelling on the events that unfolded.

“Where did they come from?” someone asks, but I don’t see who over the throng of students.

“We’re unsure at this time,” Professor Burton advises, and Zane scoffs, mouthing the exact same word that’s floating around in my head too.

Bullshit.

These attacks have been going on at least since I got here, who knows how long prior to that? The entire reason we are here is to train to fight against the enemy in the Great War and protect our realm, yet we don’t seem to know who the enemy is? Definite bullshit. Since I’ve been here, every attack has gotten worse. They can’t really say this was a complete surprise or think we’re dumb enough to accept that.

“Why are they attacking? What’s the purpose behind it all?” Another question comes from the crowd, and the irritation is obvious on Professor Burton’s face.

Fucker.

“As I said, we’re unsure at this time. We will keep everyone updated as needed, but for tonight we are gathered to confirm the lives lost.”

A solemn silence falls over the courtyard. It wasn’t lost on me that he said we’ll be updated when necessary, and not with every little piece of information, as I’m sure others paid close attention to. But he has an uncanny ability to handle the crowd, which includes distracting us with other news, like the death toll from the outpost.

He holds up a scroll of parchment and starts to read names. I almost consider tuning him out, but my frustration with him shouldn’t affect the moment of recognition those lost deserve. So I suck back my own emotions and absorb every name he speaks. My gut clenches when he mentions Finn, but my ears pulse with relief at the fact that he’s not calling out any of our names, especially Brax’s.

By the time he reaches the end, he’s called out twelve names in total. I’m going to assume that doesn’t include any of the people who were stationed there, just the first years caught in the crossfire.

I might not have known any of them personally, except Finn, but it has more of an impact on me in comparison to when I used to watch people fight it out and die in the pits. The grander scale of all this is unfathomable.

“That’s it for tonight. Get some rest. Classes will resume as normal in the morning.” Within a blink of an eye, he’s gone.

It’s official. We’ve been completely strung along and dismissed. I shouldn’t be surprised.

Zane’s hand tightens around mine as Professor Fitch calls out for Leila. She rolls her eyes dramatically, mouthing her apology as she rushes after him through the crowd. Eldon takes the now vacant spot at my side, draping his arm over my shoulders before ushering me with the moving mob of students toward the exit.

The solace I hoped I would feel from finally being able to go to bed is completely tarnished by the sheer lack of information offered. Although, I keep putting one foot in front of the other, accepting that it’s all we’ll get for tonight as we make our way home.

I half expect Sebastian or Genie to make an appearance on our walk back, but it’s a surprisingly uneventful trip and we’re soon closing the front door to the house. The sound of the latch locking allows my body to sag, tiredness weighing heavier on me, but any hope of giving in to my needs is quickly diminished when Creed whirls to a stop in front of me with his finger poised in my direction.

“You need to eat before you pass out.”

I pout, unimpressed with his statement, but my stomach doesn’t get the message because it chooses that exact moment to rumble with need.

“He’s right, Little Bird. Today has been a long day. We all need something, especially if we’re diving straight back into classes in the morning like nothing happened,” Eldon adds, dropping his arm from my shoulders before placing his palm against the small of my back, directing me toward the kitchen.

Zane reluctantly releases my hand and I let Eldon take the lead. My mind is blank as far as what I could have to eat goes, so I decide to open the fridge in hopes of inspiration. Nibbling at my bottom lip, I’m completely aware I’m staring aimlessly at nothing in particular when Brax clears his throat, gaining my attention.

“If your magic is running through your veins now, why aren’t you using it? There’s more to it than just casting your bigger abilities.” He folds his arms over his chest, eyeing me like I must have been lying earlier about what I did, but for the first time since I thought I lost him, realization washes over me.

I’m not a Void. Magic is inside of me.

“I didn’t even think to. Everything has been so crazy. The reality of not having to do such mundane things didn’t register,” I admit, meeting Brax’s stare, which remains just as inquisitive as he assesses me.

“Give it a try,” he urges, but the challenge is clear.

Wetting my bottom lip, I glance around at the others. Zane and Eldon nod eagerly for me to give it a go while Creed continues to glance between Brax and me. Nerves twist in my stomach as vulnerability worms its way up my spine.

I’m out of my element, and as much as I don’t want anyone in the world to see me exposed, the only people I can trust to help me is them.

“I don’t know how.”

“I’ve got you, Dove.” Zane instantly steps up, a reassuring grin on his face as he grabs both of my hands and pulls me over to the dining table. He doesn’t stop until I’m standing behind my chair, where he releases his hold on me. “I’m sure everyone is different, but for me, my magic flows from my core. When I close my eyes and envision it inside of me, there’s like a little amber orb waiting to be explored.”

“You just have to reach in and connect with it, then anything is possible,” Creed adds, and I gulp nervously.

“So I just, what? Connect with my magic, envision what I want to eat, and it will appear?” I’ve lived this life aware of magic around me, but now it feels dubious. I’m sure it’s my nerves that are getting the better of me, but I spent so long hoping for this moment that it still doesn’t feel possible, even now.

“Pretty much,” Eldon encourages, standing beside me in his usual spot. “Watch me.”

He closes his eyes, his tongue peeking out to swipe along his bottom lip for a beat before a pizza appears on the table before him. His gaze is back on mine a moment later and I nod, hesitantly closing my eyes too.

Exhaling slowly, I nervously shake my hands, delving deep into an abyss of the unknown as I try to connect with myself in a way I never have before. At first, I have no fucking clue what I’m doing, but as I try to slow my breathing, a new sense of warmth flickers through me. I can’t sense where it’s coming from or why, but the heat seems to start to coil in my chest and I know I’ve found my way to the hub, or the ball as Zane called it.

Once I acknowledge it, it blossoms even more through every fiber of my being, making my skin tingle as I think of what I want to eat.

Chicken Alfredo.

A chuckle vibrates around me, bringing me back to the present as I blink my eyes open to find pasta, chicken, and alfredo sauce on the table in front of me.

“Maybe next time I’ll remind you that you need to think of the dinnerware for it to go on too,” Eldon muses, and I realize the food is literally on the table with no plate or bowl. Fuck.

“It takes everyone a minute, Raven. You should be proud. Not just because you did your first piece of mundane magic, but you put that look on Brax’s face,” Creed murmurs with a grin.

I follow his line of sight to where Brax stands at the end of the table. The color has gone from his face, his jaw is slack, and the truth flickers in his gaze.

I wasn’t lying, I have magic, and as scary as it is to say, I’m a necromancer.