30. Jett

Chapter 30

There's not much tonight that could possibly make me feel worse than I already do. I disappointed my little girl, my shoulder fucking hurts, and guess what? I get to do it all over again tomorrow.

I unlock the door to the apartment as quietly as possible and drop my duffle bag at the end of the entryway. I don't see Wyla in the living room, it's a little before eleven but considering the time difference from here and Aster Creek, I can't say I'd blame her if she was asleep.

It may be a huge mistake but I sneak down the hallway to Stevie's room. Opening the door—again—as quietly as possible, and I see Stevie is out like a light. Her arms are wrapped tightly around the five blankets she insisted on bringing and her little mouth gapes open.

Her being in a peaceful sleep does actually make me feel the slightest bit better. After closing her door, I head back toward our room. I would love to spend a little time with Wyla tonight, but if she's asleep I'll just big spoon her ass.

I open the door and when I don't immediately see her in the bed I kind of panic. But then I notice the light shining through the blinds of the doors that open to the bedroom balcony.

When I step out, Wyla's now wearing a pair of leggings and being swallowed by one of my hoodies. She lays back on one of the chaise loungers reading a book.

"Hey, Wy."

She jumps a little then smiles that smile I love so damn much. "Hey, you're home. Hope you don't mind that I raided your drawers. I was cold and none of my stuff was warm enough."

I walk over to her and kiss her head. "What's mine is yours, baby."

Wyla sets her book down and slides up on the lounger. "Wanna sit with me?"

I want whatever she wants. I step over to sit behind her then as she lays back on my chest I wrap my arms around her pulling her closer.

I have to fight the urge to tell her I love her again. Just because she didn't say it earlier today doesn't mean I'm going to stop telling her completely, but I don't want to pressure it out of her either .

"How's your shoulder? And don't lie and tell me it doesn't hurt that bad. I know you didn't pick Stevie up earlier for a reason."

I chuckle. "Caught that, did ya?"

"I did." Wyla lays one of her hands on top of mine.

"It's sore but that's to be expected with it being the first time I've pitched that much in a long time. I iced it before I left and I'll see Nick early again tomorrow too."

There's a small beat of silence as we both come to the conclusion that means less time together.

"I'm sorry, Wy. I had y'all come all the way out here, and I don't—"

"Jett, don't apologize." She turns her head back to look at me. "I wanted to come here with you. Even with you playing this week, it's still seeing you more than I would in Aster Creek."

I kiss her forehead, unsure of what to say next.

"Hey, about earlier…" Wyla's voice is soft and quite. "I want you to know that it's not that I don't love you, I—"

"Wy, don't. You don't have to say anything."

Wyla sits up and spins around to face me. "No, listen. I know you've said before that you had years to think of me and I didn't, but that's not true. Yeah, my life was a little more hectic with Stevie but I always thought of you. "

Wyla reaches over to the side table where she laid her book down and grabs a notebook—the notebook. "I have about five of these full of letters to you. It started as a way to relieve my anxieties about being a single mom but after Stevie was born… I don't know, it became a way to make you a part of our lives. Any milestone, event, or bad day we had, I wrote it down for you. I know I can't take back the years of Stevie's life you missed but this might be a good way for you to get a little bit back."

There's a pit in my stomach. I know I have to tell her I saw one of them already. Add this to another reason that I feel like absolute shit. "Wy, I have to tell you something."

Those damn dimples show with her soft smile. "Is it that you already knew about these?"

"I—What? How did you know?" There's a literal ache in my chest feeling like I've betrayed her, but she doesn't even seem upset.

She chuckles softly. "You were busted by Stevie. Every four-year-old is a tattle tale even if they don't mean to be. She ratted you out the next morning before the beach."

"Wyla, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have looked and I should have told you."

"I appreciate that, but it's okay. I knew after the first day together I was going to show them to you, but I've been too scared. It feels like giving you a piece of me." Wyla turns back around laying on my chest. "I'm not afraid of that anymore. It's me and you, right?"

"Me and you, baby girl."