Nashville pt. 5

Nashville Night – 5 years ago – pt. 5

Light streams in from the corner of the window pulls me from my deep sleep. I pull the sheet up to my face and relish in how soft they are, then it dawns on me… I'm in a hotel…with an insanely hot man who I spent the entire night naked with. A man that I think I really like.

I roll over so slowly to see Jett fast asleep next to me. He's asleep on his stomach with his arms up around the pillow. His honey-colored hair is a mess and even now I want to run my fingers through it. I outreach my hand but freeze. What the hell am I doing? I need to get out of here.

As much as I'd love to go for another round, I know that will lead me to asking to see him again, and we both made it very clear we only wanted one night. I can't be that girl that after sleeping together they get all clingy.

You'd be asking for his number, Wyla, not a relationship. That's not clingy.

Maybe I could just ask… but what if he says no? Shit. Even the thought feels like a punch to the gut. How could one night lead to so many feelings? We just had sex, really… but even that doesn't feel true.

Yeah, we had mind blowing sex. But I've never connected with anyone in bed like that. Never felt so completely safe and cherished. Granted I don't really have a ton of experience in sex. I know you're shocked that an ex from high school didn't rock my world.

Jett sure did. Jett did a lot of things that I really wanted to do again… with him. He made me feel comfortable and confident to ask for what I wanted. Not to mention the moments in between rounds were just as enjoyable. He makes me laugh, and it sounds cliché but I feel like I've known him for forever.

If I think about too much I can see it all with Jett. I could see the relationship. I could see myself falling in love with him. Easily. If I wasn't kidding myself, I'd be able to admit I've already jumped off that cliff. Maybe Jett did too?

No, we agreed. One night. I can't ask him for more and I sure as shit don't want to be given the ‘thanks but no thanks' speech. No, no way. As much as I'd like to think I'm strong and a rejection from Jett after one night wouldn't hurt like hell, but that' s not the case.

Sneaking out feels like a coward's move but what am I supposed to do? There's no way he wants more from me, I'm sure of it. I don't need to make this more than what it was to him… At least I'll always have the memories of this night.

As quietly as I can, I roll out of the bed, I find my clothes from last night on the floor. Reluctantly take his shirt off, and throw my stained one back on. I forgo fighting the fishnets, wadding them up and shoving them in back pocket. I take one last look at Jett. Fuck, why do I feel like I'm making the wrong decision?

No, Wyla, you're being smart. Him rejecting you will just make you sad. It's better this way, he'll probably wake up and be relieved to find you gone.

I sigh, and walk out the room.

With the click of the door, I feel like I've made a huge mistake.