Chapter 12

CHAPTER TWELVE

I collapsed into the chair and rubbed my head.

“Does it ache? Do you feel dizzy?”

The glare I sent Garron’s way quieted him.

“Yes, my head aches. From frustration.”

“I know you can do this, Kellen. You just need to focus your intent.”

“I have been, Garron. It’s not working. I’ve grown a field of useless peas with not a single thorn on them. I can’t do it.”

“You can .”

His insistence crawled under my skin.

“Why are you being so stubborn?” I demanded.

“Why are you? I’ve seen what you can do and know you can do this too.”

“Go away.”

“No.”

Fisting my hands, I shot to my feet. Garron flew backward toward the open door. On his way out, his head hit the threshold with a hollow thunk.

Stunned, I stared at the empty space for a moment before I ran outside and fell to my knees beside him. His eyes were closed, and he wasn’t moving, but he was breathing.

“Kitten?” Brandle asked, slowly standing from his place at the table.

“I lost my temper,” I said, tears streaming down my cheeks. “I didn’t mean it.” My hands clutched at Garron’s shirt, jostling him. “Garron, please. Open your eyes.”

Brandle hurried over and checked Garron’s head.

Garron groaned and opened his eyes. I threw myself on him, crying uncontrollably.

“Shh,” Garron said. “It’s okay. I’m okay.”

“I threw you.”

“You did,” he said, his voice lacking its usual strength. “Help me sit up, Brandle. I think I might be sick.”

Brandle eased Garron into a sitting position. I held Garron’s hand and watched him breathe deeply as I silently berated myself.

“I’m so sorry, Garron.”

He looked at me then gently wiped the tears from my face. “It’s not like you to cry like this.”

It wasn’t. I checked the lid, but it was firmly in place, which only confused me further.

I didn’t cry, and I didn’t lose my temper. Ever. It was too dangerous. Why did I feel so out of control?

Eadric cleared his throat. “Sparrow, have you, perchance, used what I brought you?”

“Brought me?” I echoed, confused until I recalled the extra supply bundle that he’d told me to open later. So much had happened since then that I’d forgotten about it.

“No, I haven’t.”

“Ah,” Brandle said.

“Ah?” I glanced at the rest, but they said nothing.

Garron broke the silence. “I think we should temporarily suspend your studies.”

“Good,” Liam said. “I’ve been waiting for some Kellen time.” He took my hand and coaxed me to my feet. “What would you like to do? Take a bath? Have your hair brushed? Perhaps something to eat?”

“We’ll haul the water,” Darian said, towing Daemon with him before I could answer.

“We’ll get everything ready inside,” Eadric said, nudging Edmund.

“I’ll brew some tea,” Brandle said as he helped Garron to his feet and led him to the table.

Unsure what was happening, I followed and went to sit beside Garron. However, Liam was quick to sit first and tug me into his lap. Irritation scratched at me, and I flashed him a disapproving look.

“Thoughts of holding you again helped me endure the pain,” he said. “Please allow me this.”

The irritation vanished, replaced by guilt. How could I have forgotten all that he suffered to keep me safe? Edmund too.

I twisted to face Liam and apologize. He darted in, stealing a sweet kiss. The press of his lips, combined with the devotion he felt for me, melted any lingering irritation. Cupping his jaw, I kissed him in return. He groaned and deepened the kiss, teasing me with his tongue as his hands smoothed down my back and gripped my hips.

He lifted me, turning me on his lap. My knees touched the bench on each side of him as my weight settled on his hips. He groaned into my mouth, and I felt his hunger. It wrapped around me and became my own, pressing me to kiss him without reservation. To demand more.

His hands tightened on my hips, and he arched into me. The pleasure it sparked became my focus. I ground against him, chasing the sensation our movements created.

Desire flooded me. His. My own. Then Garron’s.

I lifted my mouth, panting. When I would have looked at Garron, Liam caught my face between his gentle hands.

“Stay with me,” he murmured before kissing me hungrily again.

His hands returned to my skirt, slipping beneath to grip my bare thighs, guiding me over his hard length.

I broke away from the kiss and tipped my head back, holding onto his shoulders as I undulated over him.

It wasn’t enough. Frustration began to creep in. I needed more. More kissing. More touching. More of his hunger.

Fingers brushed the back of my neck.

“You are so beautiful, Snow. Take what you need. It’s yours.”

Their desire enveloped me. I sank into it, letting it fill me. Endless desire.

Garron’s hands gripped my sides, steadying me. Liam’s fingers tugged at my lacings, and his mouth closed over my breast through the shift as he guided me over his length again and again. The feel of his teeth on my nipple at the same time Garron nipped my neck sparked an explosion of sensual gratification.

A strangled cry ripped from my throat.

Liam continued his ministrations as waves of pleasure coursed through me and slowly faded. Languid with the residual bliss, I released his shoulders and wrapped my arms around Garron’s neck behind me. He kissed his way along my jaw and claimed my lips in a sweet, tender kiss that spoke of his love.

Liam’s rhythm faltered, and his grip on my hips tightened. His heavy exhale drew me from my daze, and I eased back from Garron’s kiss. Garron met my gaze with a warm smile and pressed his lips to my forehead before releasing me.

I looked down at Liam as he lifted his head from my breast, his gaze hooded and full of adoration.

“Forever with you won’t be long enough, Love,” he said.

My pulse skipped, and a flush started to creep into my face as I realized what I’d done. My gaze lifted to sweep the glade, but the others weren’t present.

“Please tell me you don’t regret that,” Liam said quietly.

I looked down at him again.

“Did I go too far?” he asked. The distress in his gaze helped me set my fear aside.

I shook my head. “I’m struggling with embarrassment,” I admitted. “I liked it. But should I have?”

He hugged me, and my nipple tingled at the press of his cheek. My fingers went to his hair, tangling in the strands to discreetly add to the pressure.

“Like what you like without apology, Snow,” Garron said from behind me.

I looked over my shoulder at him.

“I’m sorry I hurt you.”

“I know. In the future, I will be more mindful of how to demand more of you. How do you feel now?”

“Good,” I admitted, flushing further. “Not angry.”

“How is your well?”

“My well?”

“Our amulets glowed again just before you found your release,” Garron said.

My face flushed scarlet along with his. “I would prefer not to discuss this.”

He nodded and said nothing more.

“The tub is full,” Eadric called from inside the cottage.

Liam stood with me and waited until my dress covered me and I was steady on my feet to hand me over to Garron, who escorted me to the cottage.

When I glanced back, I saw Liam head toward the well. Garron caught my chin and gave me a quick kiss as Brandle left the cottage with the kettle.

“I’m going to help Brandle with the tea. Relax today, Snow. We’ll try again tomorrow.”

He left me at the door with Eadric, who took my hand and led me to the tub.

“I see Liam was helpful,” he said, touching my untied lacings. He had them loose before I knew what he intended. “Arms up, Sparrow. You can heat the water next.”

He lifted the gown off me and left me standing in my shift as he shook it out.

“Do you want me to give this a wash while you wash?” he asked. “Hmm. When did we last wash anything for you?” He gave me a speculative look. “Best to do it all.”

Perhaps I was overly relaxed from what happened with Liam and Garron. Perhaps I was losing what was left of my sense of modesty. Whatever the case, when Eadric tugged my shift over my head, I didn’t resist or get angry. I allowed him to steal every last bit of my covering and toss it toward the door.

His gaze swept over me, and he grinned.

“A laundering for both person and clothing is due. You have a bit of something here.” He touched my reddened nipple. Sensitive from Liam’s ministrations, it immediately pebbled.

“My mistake. Not dirt, then. But I’m certain you’ll find some in the water once you’re done. In you go.”

He took my hand and coaxed me into the water, which I quickly heated. It wasn’t until I was sitting that I saw Edmund standing behind Eadric. He gripped the soap and a cloth in his fisted hands.

My gaze flicked between him and Eadric.

“Allow me to wet your hair first,” Eadric said. “Head forward.”

I obeyed without thought and closed my eyes as the warm water cascaded over my head.

“There we are,” Eadric said.

Fingers tangled into my hair, rubbing the scalp firmly. I knew it was Edmund and tensed.

“Let me have a bit of that soap,” Eadric said.

A moment later, a soapy palm massaged the breast Liam hadn’t kissed. My center clenched pleasantly, and I forgot my tension.

“There. Isn’t that nice?” Eadric asked.

“Yes,” I said.

Edmund continued rubbing the soap through my hair for several more moments as Eadric toyed with my breast, rubbing it deeply then teasing the nipple.

“Time to rinse,” Eadric said. “Close your eyes.”

Water cascaded over my head, and hands squeezed away the excess from my hair.

“Let me get another cloth,” Eadric said. “The sooner she’s clean, the sooner she can relax. Lean back, Sparrow.”

When I would have glanced at Edmund, Eadric caught my chin and kissed my wet nose.

“I like this,” he said. “If I could do everything for you, I would. Give me your hand.”

I lifted my hand from the edge of the tub that I hadn’t realized I’d been gripping. He dipped the cloth he held into the water then smoothed it over each digit. Edmund lifted my other hand, mirroring his brother’s actions down to the kiss that the tip of each finger received once clean. They moved from my hand to my arms. The pressure they used melted away any hesitation, and I closed my eyes and leaned back as I let them have their way. When they moved to my chest, I sighed contentedly. Eadric took great joy in teasingly cleaning my belly button and drew a smile from me.

When he lifted a foot out of the water, I giggled at the sensation of the cloth between my toes. The feel of their hands on my calves caused a contented sigh. That vanished when they washed my thighs. Each swipe of the cloth disappeared under the water and brought them closer to that part no one had ever touched but me.

Anticipation warred with hesitation, making my heart race.

Eadric’s cloth lightly skimmed over that place, and my breath caught.

“Let me get a towel and start drying your hair before you catch a chill,” Eadric said, retreating.

Edmund’s cloth dragged over the spot Eadric’s had. My eyes snapped open, and his hungry gaze captured mine.

“I need to hear you, Trouble. Just for me. Please.” The cloth brushed over me again then disappeared, and his fingers brushed over my dusting of hair.

He touched me gently, exploring. Feeling places I’d only ever touched while washing and not the way he touched me. A small gasp escaped when he parted me and found that place that brought so much pleasure.

“Keep your eyes open, Trouble. I want to see everything.”

I snapped my eyes open, not realizing I’d closed them.

“Good girl.” His finger circled that spot until I was moving my hips under the water. Then he gently plucked at it.

“Eyes, Kellen. Open them.”

I opened them once more but couldn’t seem to focus on anything other than the building tension in my center.

“Please,” I murmured.

“Not her mouth. I want to watch her,” he said a moment before Eadric’s fingers tangled in my hair. He tilted my head and kissed his way along my neck while his other hand found my nipple.

My whimpers filled the cottage. I could feel Edmund’s desire. Its intensity glowed brightly for me. Only me.

“Yes, that’s it,” Edmund said as my hips lifted to demand more.

The tip of his finger brushed my opening. “This is where you want me, isn’t it?” He teased that place while his thumb continued to circle higher. He dipped his fingertip farther in, and I shattered with a scream.

Edmund’s mouth closed over mine, stealing the sound and my air as he kissed me with a savage need. Pulse by pulse, my release ripped through me, gripping the end of his finger. He tore his mouth from mine and caught my chin.

“Look at me, Trouble.”

I fought to open my eyes.

The pressure between my legs increased as he slowly inserted more of his finger. I liked the feeling until the unexpected stab of pain. The lingering pleasure vanished, and I grabbed his arm, stopping him, though I knew it was already too late. He’d claimed what I’d dreamed of giving to him and his brothers.

“Breathe, Sparrow,” Eadric said. “The pain is already fading, isn’t it?”

I turned my head and saw him kneeling beside the tub. He held a towel and the end of my hair.

“Trust us. We’re trying not to hurt you,” he said. “Would you like a kiss?”

I nodded and tipped my head to welcome his gentle kiss. While his lips were on mine, Edmund moved the finger inside of me. It didn’t send another stab of pain through me, but it didn’t feel as nice as it had before, either.

When he withdrew, I sagged in relief.

Eadric drew back and smiled at me. “Better?” he asked.

“Yes.” I glanced at Edmund with a frown. “That hurt.”

Then I saw his finger coated with blood.

My eyes went wide, and I shot to my feet. Pink water ran from between my legs.

“Breathe, Sparrow. You’re not hurt. I think it’s your monthlies. The bundle I brought has everything you need. The tea Brandle brewed will help with any discomfort.”

Embarrassment consumed me. I grabbed the towel from Eadric and pressed it to my front, hiding what I could of my nakedness.

“Leave. Please.” I barely managed to speak the strangled words.

Edmund stood slowly. I could feel his gaze on me but refused to look at him.

“Please,” I begged.

“You’re beautiful, Sparrow. It’s not easy to leave you, especially when we know we’ve upset you. Perhaps if we knew that you still held us in a kind regard…”

I closed my eyes. “Thank you for helping me with my bath. It was very nice. Please leave so I can make peace with my embarrassment. I will join you when I’m finished.”

Lips brushed mine. Edmund’s.

“Liam is right,” he whispered as he set his forehead to mine. “Forever wouldn’t be long enough with you.”

They left, and I sank to my knees in the water. I cleaned it with a thought then washed again. The blood returned when I stood once more, and I knew what Eadric had said was true.

My monthlies. Had it truly been so long since I’d arrived?

I opened the bundle and found what I needed—the cloths and the ties to hold them in place around my hips. After I’d secured them, I dressed in a clean gown and looked at the door while toying with the comb in my hand.

Leaving Eloise had been the hardest thing I’d ever done in my life. But living in the glade with these men might soon surpass that torment. I pressed the back of my free hand to my hot cheek and took a calming breath.

The cool mask of indifference that I’d used for so long easily slipped into place, and I strode for the door only to stop at the last moment. Edmund’s demand to look at him so he could see what I was feeling rose to mind. He wouldn’t want my indifference. Not now. Not after what he’d?—

I looked down at the comb I held, knowing that they wouldn’t allow me to hide in the cottage for much longer. Then berated myself for my foolishness. If I couldn’t overcome embarrassment and face the seven men who I knew cared for me–and who I cared for in return–what hope did I have of facing Maeve?

“I liked it, and I have nothing to apologize for,” I said softly to myself. And Eadric had been knowledgeable enough about monthlies to purchase what I needed. Why should I feel embarrassed about anything that had transpired when neither man had seemed affronted while bathing me?

After another calming breath, I opened the door and strode into the yard.

“I need a hug and someone to brush my hair,” I said.

Daemon dashed for me, catching me up in his arms and spinning me around as he held me tight. I clutched the comb and his shoulders.

“Ease up, you fool,” Darian said. “She’ll vomit if you continue.”

Daemon stopped and carried me with his arms around my waist to the table where he settled me sideways on his lap so Darian could work the comb through my hair.

“Hand over the tea, Brandle,” Daemon said.

Coddled in Daemon’s arms, I sipped the tea Brandle had brewed and tried to relax as Darian freed the tangles from my strands.

“How are you feeling?” Daemon asked. “Does anything hurt?”

I shook my head.

“Good. Good.” He hugged me a little closer and kissed my temple. “I’m glad Edmund didn’t go too far. He’s not easy to cuff.”

I flushed at what Daemon was inferring but didn’t duck my head. Instead, I looked at Edmund.

“My mother warned me that losing my maidenhead would be painful.” My face heated further. “It hurt less than I’d anticipated. Thank you for showing me the pleasure that could be found with a man before the pain.”

His lips twitched as he studied me. “If I’d taken it the usual way, it would have been more painful. I wanted to spare you that.”

“Thank you.”

“I don’t believe I’ve ever heard a maid thank a man for taking her maidenhead before,” Eadric said.

“You’ll likely never hear it again,” Darian said. He combed my hair away from my neck and kissed the exposed skin. “You’re too sweet for the likes of us, Princess.”

“Shut your mouth,” Daemon said with a glare at his twin. “She’s perfect for us.”

I shook my head at them, not enough to dislodge Darian’s roaming lips, though.

“Are you hungry?” Garron asked.

“A little,” I admitted.

That sent them into a flurry of activity. I watched them mill some flour to make me honeyed biscuits and found myself handed over to Brandle, who acted as my cushion while Eadric fed me. Then, Edmund braided my hair.

They were attentive, amusing, and, most importantly, thoroughly distracting. I fell asleep between Brandle and Darian and woke on Brandle’s bare chest.

“Good morning,” he said. “We have a bath ready for you.”

I nodded but didn’t move to get off of him.

“Will it always be like this?” I asked. “Sharing me. Taking turns caring for me.”

“Would you rather only spend time with us individually?” he asked.

I thought about it and shook my head. “No. I see how each of you yearns for my attention. If I only focused on one of you at a time, the others would feel left out.”

“I asked what you preferred,” Brandle said.

Lifting my head, I met his gaze. “I like everyone’s attention.”

“I sense hesitation.”

“What I did with Garron and Liam didn’t feel wrong. If felt…right. As did my time with Eadric and Edmund.”

Brandled studied me, then said, “Pairs are good, but the idea of more overwhelms you.”

I nodded.

“We already guessed as much,” he said. “We can respect your privacy, Kitten. You choose who to keep in your company.”

I arched a brow at him, and he chuckled.

“We will always vie for you, Kitten. The final choice is yours.”

Content, I rested my cheek on his chest once more.

“Is anyone disappointed that Edmund took my maidenhead yesterday?” I asked.

“Just when I believe there is nothing you can do to surprise me, you show me how wrong I am.” He smoothed his hand over my hair. “Disappointed? No. Relieved. Happy. Filled with anticipation.”

I lifted my head again and rested my chin on his chest.

“Why relieved?” I asked, choosing not to address the other emotions.

“None of us wanted to be the one to hurt you, Kitten. It breaks our hearts to see you suffer even the smallest amount.”

“But not Edmund.”

“Edmund is braver than the rest of us. He knew a little pain now would spare you suffering later. Are you truly okay? No lingering pain?”

“I haven’t moved yet, Brandle. Don’t be impatient.”

He chuckled and smoothed a hand down my back the way I liked.

“And how are you feeling otherwise?”

I knew he meant my mood, and I felt guilty for having lost control the day before.

“Is Garron okay?” I asked.

“He is,” he said. “A small lump on the back of his head. Something Edmund’s given him before to no lasting effect.”

“I want to try again.”

“Throwing him?” Brandle asked with a laugh. “Darian and Daemon will approve.”

“Of course not. I meant the spell we were working on. Will he be willing?”

“I think that’s a question you should ask him. Are you ready for your bath?”

I rolled off Brandle in answer and stood. The light cramping in my middle had me wrinkling my nose. Eloise’s monthlies passed without fanfare. Mine, while more agreeable than most, liked to make itself known.

After Brandle put on his shirt, he wrapped me in my cloak and carried me to the privy. When he returned me to the cottage, Darian and Daemon were already waiting inside.

Both bowed deeply to me.

“We will be serving as your attendants today, m’lady,” Daemon said.

He whisked me away from Brandle and stripped me of my shift before I could blink. I swatted his hand when he tried to untie the strings.

“No attendants,” I said.

Darian—the deviant man—untied the strings from behind me and kissed my shoulder.

“Darian, you can’t simply?—”

He swept me up and placed me in the cold water. I sputtered at the chill engulfing me.

“Heat it quickly, Princess,” he said.

I bared my teeth at him even as steam rose around me.

“She looks upset,” he said to his brother. “It’s our duty to bring a smile to her lips.”

“No, it isn’t,” I said, stealing the cloth from him and wetting it. “I can wash myself, thank you very much.”

Daemon knelt beside the tub and gave me a pleading look.

“We have been waiting for you for as long as any of us can remember, Lamb—the woman who will set us free. We’ve dreamed of the day that we would be able to care for you. Please don’t take this from us.”

His pleas softened my resistance. “Daemon, be reasonable. I have my monthlies. Let me wash in peace.”

“Exactly so! Do you think we haven’t prepared for this? Allow us to prove we know how to care for you at all times.”

“And we’ll bring you the peace you need so you can calmly study with Garron,” Darian added.

When I looked at him, his shirt was off and he held another washing cloth.

“Shall I start with your feet?”