Chapter 3

CHAPTERTHREE

Henley kept taking subtle peeks at Finn as he drove her and Jasna back to their apartment. Her appointment with the former POW had gone long, and afterward, Drake and the other Refuge owners had encouraged her to stay for dinner. Robert, their resident chef, had outdone himself by making several different casseroles—vegetarian, taco, gluten free, low fat, and a potato, bacon, and noodle one, as well.

She’d checked on Jasna, who was sleeping hard at the time. As deeply asleep as she was, nothing short of a bomb would wake her. Henley had assured Finn that it was okay to leave her where she was while they grabbed something to eat, but he’d refused to leave her alone in the barn.

His insistence on making sure he was nearby “just in case” was…

She didn’t know what it was. Surprising, at the very least, since he’d just met her daughter today. Heartwarming for sure. Henley had always had the responsibility of looking after Jasna by herself. Even if it was only for today, it felt good that someone else seemed to be just as worried for her daughter.

So she’d gone back up to the lodge, loaded up two plates, and took them to the barn. There was no way she was going to leave Finn out there alone, looking after her daughter, while she sat inside and ate.

They had dinner together in the loft, where Melba and the goats couldn’t get to them and beg for food. And it had been…nice. Finn didn’t talk a lot, but he did tell her that Jasna had loved meeting Melba. He also broke the news that it looked like the battery in her CRV was shot and she’d need a new one. He volunteered to take her and Jasna home, stop and get a battery, install it, then get her car back to her apartment, so she could get to work in the morning.

She usually spent the mornings at her office in town, where she worked with three other psychologists, before going to The Refuge in the afternoons. At first, the job with the guests at the retreat had simply been for extra money. But a couple of years in, she found she enjoyed it much more than her other job. It wasn’t that she didn’t like helping the residents of Los Alamos, but…she’d actually had a couple clients who’d scared her a bit and were beyond her abilities to help. That sucked to admit, but it was true. And unlike at The Refuge, her Los Alamos practice didn’t have several burly men who could assist if a patient got out of hand.

Now Finn was doing her yet another favor before spending who knew how much time working on her car to make sure she had transportation. She’d gotten better over the years at accepting help, but this seemed like…more. Most people wouldn’t go this far out of their way to help her. They might call a tow truck or an Uber, but they wouldn’t go to the lengths Finn was.

Did she dare wonder if it meant he might be loosening up around her? That maybe, just maybe, he saw her as more than simply a Refuge employee? She didn’t know, but she could hope.

“Are you sure Jasna’s okay?” he asked as they neared her apartment complex.

“Yeah. She’s always been like this. When she gets sick—which is rare—she sleeps hard at first, and then wakes up almost as good as new. It’s kind of annoying really.” She grinned as she said that last bit. But when Finn didn’t seem to relax even a little, she got serious. “I’ll check in on her a few times throughout the night and take her temperature. If it goes up, or if she keeps throwing up, I’ll bring her to the urgent care clinic in town. But I’m fairly sure this is just that twenty-four-hour bug that’s going around her school.”

Finn nodded, still looking concerned.

“Thank you,” Henley told him.

“For what?” he asked.

For what? Was this man for real? “Well, for looking after her today. And not wanting to leave her alone even though she would’ve been fine. For figuring out what was wrong with my car, for driving us home, and for fixing my CRV and bringing it into town. But most of all, for caring about Jasna. I can’t remember a time when anyone other than me, and maybe my neighbor, truly cared.”

“She’s a good kid,” Finn said with a shrug, ignoring all the other things she’d thanked him for.

“She is,” Henley agreed.

“What do you do in the summers with her?”

Henley frowned. “Meaning?”

“When you’re working…you said you wouldn’t leave her alone, so I’m assuming when she’s not in school, she’s not hanging out at your apartment by herself, waiting for you to get home.”

“Oh! Of course not. For the last few years, she’s either been going to a daily kind of camp for kids, or Mrs. Singleton has watched her. Now she’s too old for the day camps she’s gone to in the past. There are a few others for older kids that I’m considering.”

“What does she think of the camp idea?” Finn asked.

Henley was thrilled he was voluntarily conversing so much, and she vaguely wondered at the sudden change as she wrinkled her nose at the question. “She’s not a big fan, since she’s more of a loner. But she’s also a good kid and knows it’s worrying me, so she hasn’t complained too much.”

“Hmm.”

Henley didn’t know what that noncommittal noise meant, but she didn’t have time to ask as they were pulling into the parking area of her apartment complex.

“I really do appreciate you driving us around,” Henley said again.

Finn nodded and climbed out of the truck.

Henley wasn’t really surprised he wasn’t a big fan of being thanked, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t going to do it. She got out on her side and went to open the back door, but found that Finn was already there. He was reaching in for Jasna and somehow managed to pick her up without waking her.

“She really is out, isn’t she?” Finn asked with a small smile on his face.

“Yup. She’s always been like that, even as a baby. But it can take her a while to go down, especially if she’s hyped-up about something.”

His lips twitched as they walked toward the building. “Like when she gets to meet Melba for the first time?”

Henley chuckled. “Yup. Like that.”

Her apartment was on the second floor, and Henley was impressed by how easily Finn carried her daughter up the stairs. She unlocked her door and held it open. “Her room is the last one on the left down the hall,” she told him.

She followed behind him as he carried Jasna to her bedroom. He placed her carefully down on the bed and ran a hand through his hair as he straightened. Then he nodded at her and left her to put her daughter to bed.

It didn’t take long. Henley managed to get Jasna’s clothes off and get her into her nightgown. She left to find a bowl to put next to her bed, just in case…and found Finn pacing her apartment.

“Oh, I thought you’d left,” she blurted.

“I wouldn’t leave without making sure you’re good,” he told her with a frown.

Henley’s heart lurched at his consideration. “We’re good,” she assured him.

“Your daughter’s room is the master,” he said next.

Frowning, Henley said, “It is.”

“Why? Why didn’t you take the bigger bedroom for yourself?”

Henley shrugged. “I don’t need a lot of space. I’m fine in the smaller room. I’m only in there to sleep. I’d rather Jasna have more space for her toys and books.”

Finn stared at her for so long, Henley felt uncomfortable.

“What?” she asked a little harsher than she’d meant to.

“Nothing. I think it’s…nice.”

Henley managed not to wince. Nice. Ugh. That wasn’t the adjective she wanted this man to use when he thought about her. She forced herself to smile. She was tired. It had been a long day, and if Finn was going to stop at the store to get a battery for her car, install it, and bring her car back to town, he probably needed to get going. “When you get here with my car, let me know and I’ll come down and get the keys,” she told him.

But Finn shook his head. “No. It’s going to be late. You need your sleep.”

“Then how will I get my key? Will you leave it in the car? Under the mat or something?”

“No way. That’s a good way for it to get stolen. Text me when you’re up in the morning, and I’ll swing by and drop it off.”

Henley frowned. “No, Finn. I can’t ask you to do that. I know barn work starts early. It’s bad enough you’ll have to come back tonight. Just let me know when you’re here later and I can come down.”

“It’s not a big deal. I have to come into town and pick up some feed and hay in the morning anyway.”

Henley couldn’t read him. She had no idea if he’d just made up that errand or not.

“Besides,” he added belatedly. “I wouldn’t mind seeing Jasna and making sure she’s okay.”

This man was such a good person. “Okay,” she said quietly.

“Okay,” he agreed. “You have my number. If anything comes up, give me a yell. And if she’s not well enough to go to school tomorrow, you can bring her to The Refuge again if you want.”

She was going to cry again. But she managed to keep the tears at bay. Barely. “Thanks.”

Finn nodded and turned for the door. For a second, Henley had a fantasy that he’d step toward her, put his finger under her chin, tip her head up and kiss her. But this was real life. And while Finn definitely hadn’t been his usual closed-off self since coming to her rescue, it was a bit early for him to be declaring his undying love and kissing her silly.

“Lock this behind me,” he said firmly.

Henley wanted to roll her eyes and tell him of course she was going to lock her door once he left, but instead she merely nodded.

Finn paused in her doorway for a long moment, then turned and walked out.

Taking a deep breath, Henley locked the deadbolt, put the chain on, and made sure the doohickey on the knob was turned before heading toward the bathroom in the hallway. She was dead tired, but wired at the same time.

Things between her and Finn had changed today, but she wasn’t sure if it was in a way that would lead to something more than friendship or not. Either way, she’d take it. She respected and liked Finn Matlick. And the fact that he didn’t merely tolerate her daughter, but genuinely seemed to like and care about her, was a huge bonus.

* * *

Tonka took a deep breath before he started his truck and headed for the automotive shop. It had taken everything in him not to pull Henley into his arms before he’d left. He probably would’ve freaked her out if he’d tried. He’d kept his attraction to her under wraps for years. But one day in her company, seeing the love she and her daughter had for each other, and he already knew he could no longer keep his distance.

All the reasons why he should stay away tried to creep in. She was a psychologist and would eventually try to psychoanalyze him. She’d want to “fix” him, and he wasn’t sure he could be fixed. She was basically an employee. She had a kid.

But no matter how hard he tried to tell himself things between them wouldn’t work out, he couldn’t stop thinking about her.

Henley was a damn good psychologist. He’d seen her in action with the guests. She was able to make even the most reluctant guest relax and open up. She seemed to like animals, something that was important to Tonka. She was protective, which he approved of, and she’d done a hell of a job raising Jasna by herself. She was considerate, hardworking, and on top of all that…the woman was sexy as hell.

Her long brown hair was always slightly mussed by the end of the day, and Tonka constantly wanted to smooth it back from her face. She was petite, almost a foot shorter than he was, but with her friendly, outgoing personality, she seemed larger than life. Her hazel eyes sparkled with humor and affection, but he also saw pain there.

Just thinking about what had happened when she was around Jasna’s age made his muscles tighten.

He’d heard the story a few times while sitting in on her group sessions at the lodge. Her parents were Native American, and she was alone at home with her mom on the reservation one evening when two men had broken in and attacked her mother. Henley had hidden under her bed right before the men burst into the room, dragging her mom with them. They’d raped and stabbed her, all while Henley had hidden under the bed, terrified out of her mind that she’d be next. They’d left without finding her, but Henley had been so traumatized, she hadn’t spoken for five years.

Her dad had never gotten over what happened, and the day after she’d turned eighteen, he’d been killed in a knife fight—that he started—at the casino where he worked.

Henley had experienced severe trauma, and he suspected that was a large part of what made her such a good psychologist. She could empathize with her clients on a level many doctors couldn’t, and they probably felt as if she truly understood what they were going through, especially when she shared her past traumas.

Tonka couldn’t deny a part of him felt the same way.

He’d actually looked up her case, wanting to find the men who’d killed her mom and make sure they paid for what they’d done. They’d both been arrested and had died while behind bars. They wouldn’t ever be a problem for Henley or Jasna, which was a huge relief to Tonka.

He didn’t know what the future held, but he knew he could no longer stay away from Henley. He had no idea if he’d be able to work through the shit in his head to have a healthy relationship…but he wanted to try.

Feeling lighter than he had in years, now that he’d finally made that admission to himself, Tonka pulled into the parking lot of the auto store. Pipe had already said he’d help change the battery out in Henley’s car and drive him back to town to drop it off.

There was no need to leave the car in her parking lot tonight, since Henley would be asleep and he wasn’t leaving the keys. But he had a feeling most people—beyond her neighbor—didn’t offer to help the single mother very often. This was something he could do to show her that he didn’t mind going out of his way for her.

He appreciated even more that his friend didn’t pry into what was going on between him and Henley. For all Pipe knew, he was simply helping out one of their employees.

Then again, Pipe wasn’t stupid. Tonka had never gone out of his way to help any of their employees. He couldn’t keep his interest in Henley a secret for long. But he didn’t really want to.

Like everything else in his life, once he put his mind to something, he was one hundred percent committed. It had been the same with the Coast Guard and becoming a dog handler. And investing in The Refuge, making it a safe place for abused, neglected, and unwanted animals as well as people.

Feeling better than he had in a very long time, Tonka entered the store and made a beeline for the batteries. Henley had seemed surprised he was as concerned about her and Jasna as he was—but she hadn’t seen anything yet. She’d had a tough life, and he wanted to do everything in his power to make the struggles she’d been through seem like nothing but a bad memory.

* * *

Christian Dekker crouched in the fort in the woods behind his house and watched with cold detachment as a squirrel slowly bled to death in the trap he’d set. He’d found the creature as he’d approached the crude wooden shelter he’d built when he was twelve, dragging it inside so he could watch it die.

All his life, he’d been fascinated with death. He couldn’t remember how old he was the first time he’d seen a dead animal in the road…maybe six or so. He’d snuck out of the house later to examine the carcass.

He was different. He knew it. His parents knew it. His sister knew it. But Christian didn’t care. About anything, really. He didn’t care about his family, or making friends. School was stupid. The boys in his class were pussies. The girls were sluts. The teachers didn’t give a shit about teaching, all they cared about was a paycheck and doing as little as possible for it.

When he was just eight, he realized how much pleasure he got from scaring people. It satisfied some need deep within him. He’d hidden in his little sister’s room and jumped out of her closet. Her scream had sent goose bumps down his spine…in a good way.

He craved that exciting thrill, and ever since, he’d done everything he could to feel it again and again. Each time, his antics getting darker.

Killing the neighbor’s cat and putting it on their doorstep.

Lighting the field behind the school on fire and watching the kids freak, thinking the school was going to burn down.

Sneaking into his parents’ room and standing next to their bed, stark naked, not moving an inch, until they woke up and saw him there, staring at them.

He took the knives in the kitchen to scare his parents, leaving them to wonder what he might do with them. Sat precariously on the roof of the house…locked his sister outside at night.

The fear of others filled a gaping hole inside him.

When he was twelve, his parents had brought him to a therapist. At first he opened up to her willingly, sharing his darkest thoughts. But he quickly began to feel she was just like all the other adults he’d met in his life…simply pretending to listen. Being nice to him to get a paycheck. So he’d changed tactics and started fucking with the woman. In one session, he’d tell her everything she wanted to know, no matter how disturbing, and the next time, he’d pretend he hadn’t told her anything at all. As if he had no idea what she was talking about.

It was the day he realized he’d gotten under his therapist’s skin that helped Christian understand the amount of power he had over others. Scaring them was one thing…but making them alter their behavior, change their habits and routines just to avoid being around him, was a unique thrill all on its own.

He was disappointed when he’d shown up for a session one day, only to find out he had a new therapist. A guy. The woman had given up on him, just like his parents had. It pissed him off then, and he was still angry about it now.

Christian hated not having control over his own life—and she was just one more person in a long line who’d taken some of his control away. And before dumping him, the bitch even suggested he be locked away “for his own safety”! It wasn’t a betrayal he’d ever forget.

He lived to manipulate people. Loved scaring them so much they’d do anything to avoid him. But a therapist was different. She was paid to put up with his shit. She should’ve had no choice but to continue their sessions. Just like his parents had no choice…

He was well aware that his parents were scared of him. Of what he might do. They locked their bedroom door now, and had long since moved his room to the basement so he wasn’t near his sister. Which suited Christian just fine. He snuck out of the house every night and did whatever he wanted.

As the years passed, Christian found that his need to scare people only got more pervasive. The fear and helplessness in an animal’s eyes when it knew it was dying was thrilling, like a drug. The control Christian felt in those moments was overwhelming and exciting.

Although killing squirrels wasn’t as fun anymore, he wouldn’t pass up the chance to see this one die. The creature in his trap struggled, desperate to get away, to live. But neither of those things was going to happen. Christian was in control.

The thing died way too quickly for his liking, and he threw the carcass out of his fort impatiently. He wanted more. He’d recently found a stray dog that he’d befriended then tortured for a week before slitting its throat. Finding new ways to kill cats was getting boring.

No. Christian’s next target was the donkey that lived in a field down from the high school. He wanted to know if killing something so big was more satisfying than the animals he’d tortured in the past.

He had a feeling it would be.

And he wouldn’t stop there.

Couldn’t.

A plan had been forming in his mind for a couple years now. Everyone he knew in Los Alamos was scared of him and smart enough to stay away. He was going to leave this shitty town and head down to Albuquerque. Make a fresh start.

But before he left, he wanted to make a statement.

He could kill his parents and sister, but that would be too predictable and everyone would suspect him. He wanted a challenge. He needed to strike where it was least expected.

And Christian knew just where that was. He had a score to settle.

In order to make sure his plan went off without a hitch, he needed to study his target. Decide exactly where and how to strike. What would make the most impact.

Doctor McClure had been the first person he’d ever wanted to impress. When she asked about his thoughts and deeds, delving into his mind, he’d stupidly thought she cared about him. Understood him. But she’d betrayed him just like everyone else. She’d pawned him off on one of her co-workers. A mealymouthed asshole who flinched every time Christian so much as shifted in the chair opposite him.

It had been a couple of years since he’d refused to go to any more therapy sessions, but he’d never forgotten the woman who’d given up on him without hesitation. She’d pay for that.

She was his target.

Christian could almost taste the fear she’d feel while he toyed with her. But he needed to be smart. Not let her know she was being followed or watched. He’d figure out her routine, wait for the perfect moment, then strike hard and fast.

A chuckle left his lips, and Christian felt a rush of anticipation he hadn’t experienced in a long time. First the donkey. Then the doctor. Then he’d head to the city and go down in history as the most fearsome serial killer the country had ever seen.

He couldn’t wait.