41. Derek

CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

Derek

" D arlin'," I can't help but laugh as I try to help the vibrating woman remove her jeans. She's shaking too hard from her excitement to do it herself. "You gotta let me help you into the wetsuit."

"I'll swim naked with them. I don't care." She squeals as she tries to peek out of the dressing room. I pull her in by the back of her neck and give her a warning look before she finally obeys, removing her pants and shirt to reveal her swimsuit.

"Oh my god," I whisper in adoration as I stare at the purple bikini. The purple bikini that I have photos of her wearing on my phone. My fingers go straight for the strings on her hips, causing her to smack my hand away.

"Derek, bad." She scolds as she bends over to get her wetsuit. Oh my god… yeah, sure, bend that ass over right in front of me, baby girl.

"I'm about to show you bad if you don't straighten back up." She laughs as she throws the wetsuit at me.

"I'm going to need butter or something to slip me into this thing."

"Fuck the penguin thing, I'm about to fuck you here and now," I growl, whirling her around and pressing her against the wall of the dressing room.

"Derek." Things to know about my sweet Indy. She said sex was not a big thing in her life, which might've been true, but since I opened that particular door, she's become the horniest little thing I've ever met. She tried to give me a handjob in the grocery store last week, and I only got her to stop as long as I was willing to get a blowjob on the drive home. It's constant, and I love it, but as horny as this little firecracker is, if I fuck up her chance to swim with those oversized water chickens, she's gonna shut it all down. And that is exactly what I hear in that one simple use of my name.

Letting out a breathy chuckle, I back away. "Alright, I'll grab the butter."

"Look at them!" Indy cries as she holds out her hands in the water as a penguin hovers over them. She pouts out her bottom lip and squishes her eyes shut while letting out a whimper.

"They really love you." Our overly eager-to-be-just-right-there penguin handler, Scott, beams at Indy. "They usually aren't this excited! At least not so many of them!" He laughs, and Indy beams. Oh, he's saying all the right things, the fuckwad.

"They know I'm one of them." Indy breathes out, almost like a song. A fucking weird song because… they're penguins. But fucking hell, her happiness right now is everything, and it's at this moment that I realize that all I want out of life is to continue to get these smiles out of her. Her dimples are on full display, her eyes squinting from how big her grin is and the absolute warmth she is radiating from her happiness. It's like a high, knowing that I made her feel this way, that I made it happen. And I want to do it again and again.

"So," Scott smirks, and here we fucking go. I've been standing here watching this fucker while he waited for just the right moment to swoop in and hit on my girl. "I have to tell you. You have the prettiest smile I think I've ever seen." Indy's face drops and I see the pink creep up her cheeks at his words. There are two ways I can handle this situation. One, I punch his face no less than seventeen times to ensure he will never gaze at her pretty smile again. Or two, I go over and make it known that I'm her boyfriend without using my fists. This entire time, I've been standing back against the pool wall we're in, allowing Indy to have her moment. Honestly, penguins kind of creep me out. Like I said, they're giant water chickens or something. But for her, I'll learn to love them, I guess. But because I've been staying back, I guess old Scottie has figured he can move in on my girl. That ain't happening. Fuck how I feel about PDAs, and fuck my anxiety. I won't let this doofus waggle his eyebrows at my girlfriend one more time.

Deciding for once in my life to fight without fists or insults, I walk up to Indy and slip a hand around her waist as I lean over her shoulder and kiss her cheek. "How's my pretty girl?" I ask huskily and smirk as I feel her body shiver slightly.

"Good!" she beams, looking back at me. "The penguins love me."

I chuckle lightly as I lean in and give her a chaste kiss, causing her to let out a small gasp. "I'm happy you're having fun, baby girl," I murmur before looking up to see Scott's confused expression.

"Oh," he laughs nervously. "I didn't realize you were a couple! I thought you were her dad!" Okay, so I tried fighting without fists. Now, I'm going to have to beat his face in.

"Well," Indy says sweetly as she backs over to me. "Not my dad, but definitely my daddy. Anyway, thanks for this, Mike! I had fun!"

"His name is Scott," I laugh, keeping my voice low as we head to the pool's edge. Indy shrugs as I help her out of the water.

"Eh, he wasn't important enough to remember. Oh my god! This was the most amazing experience of my life! This has been the best day ever!"

It's storming.

Indy and I are in a stunning luxury suite in the expensive fucking hotel with massive panoramic windows, and it's fucking storming.

"Fuck!" Indy cries out as a loud crash of thunder rolls over us, and hail beats against the windows. She lets out a weak whimper as I grab her petite body and pull her to curl against me in the bed.

I watch as she glances at the weather channel on the television from our spot in the king-size bed I've yet to get to fuck her on, and she lets out another cry.

"I need to get in the bathtub." She whispers while pointing at the tornado watch banner flashing across the screen.

"Darlin'," I try to soothe her while running my hand through her hair. "It's just a watch, it's o—" A window-rattling boom of thunder shakes our room, and Indy is up instantly. "Alright, alright," I say calmly, leading her into the bathroom with a pillow and blanket.

"I'm sorry," she says through her tears. "I know it's stupid to you."

"Hush," I grab her by the cheeks and wipe away her tears with the pads of my thumbs. God, this isn't how I wanted our last night here to go. I wanted to tell her my feelings, make love, and fall asleep with her wrapped in my arms. Now, I'm about to crawl into a small tub with her sobbing and shaking from the storm. I throw the pillow in the tub and sit down. Once I'm situated, I grab her and the blanket. Indy curls tightly into me while I stare at the ceiling, wishing I could take her fears away.

"The Emperor Penguin can hold his breath underwater for twenty minutes," I say, breaking the silence and causing her to laugh against my chest.

"I am aware," she says weakly.

"Female penguins also tend to look for bigger males as mates." She nuzzles into me as I speak, while gripping my shirt tightly in the same spot she always does. "And when the female finds the one she wants…"

"She touches his neck," she laughs again. "I'm very knowledgeable on penguin facts, but good to know you read the pamphlets."

"Actually, I looked those facts up back in New Orleans when I had to go without a bed," I admit, and I hear her sharp intake of breath. She moves her head to stare up at me.

"Why?" She has the widest eyes as she stares up at me. I can't tell what emotion they are showing. Nervousness? Fear? Hope?

Taking a breath, I decide that it's now or never. Indy is it. I'll open myself for her, but only her. I can only pray that once I do, she wants me as badly as I want her. "Because you said you liked penguins, and I wanted to make sure to have some penguin facts to give you if you and I needed something to break the ice."

"Derek," she starts, but I interrupt.

"Indy, I'm in love with you." I blurt out and watch in horror as her mouth drops open, and she pushes off me to get up.

"But… what about the deal?" Her brows furrow together. And oh my god, there's no way I've been this clueless. There's no way I've been falling for her, and she hasn't been for me… is there?

"Fuck the deal," I state, sitting up straighter. I would get out of the tub if I thought for one second my body could support me. I have too much anxiety coursing through me right now, so it's best to stay put. "There wasn't a pinky promise, so it wasn't a real agreement anyway." Not even a small smile. I watch as her eyes go distant before looking away.

"Nothing has changed," she whispers as her face looks pained. "I still have MS, I could still relapse, and you don't need that burden." I silence her by putting my hand over her mouth while shaking my head.

"Your MS sucks, Indy, I get that. And it breaks my heart when I see it take something from you. But never, and I mean never, are you a burden. Not to me. Never to me." She rolls her eyes before leaning back from my hand.

"You say that now." She huffs out.

"And I'll say it again in an hour, tomorrow, next month, and next year if need be. However many times I have to remind you until it sticks in your beautiful head. That's how many I'll say, plus one more, because your stubborn ass will need the extra kick." She rolls and presses her lips together, and I know it's to stop her smile.

"Tell me something," I say as I grab her hand, placing it on my thigh where a thick pink scar is hidden under my pajama pants. "What would've happened if I became disabled after the tractor incident?"

She narrows her eyes, and I know it's because talking about the tractor flipping and my hospital stay is a very sore subject for her. "What do you mean?"

"I could've lost my leg," I shrug nonchalantly. "I could've become paralyzed, wheelchair-bound, anything." Running my fingertips over her knuckles, I stare at her crystal blue eyes. "Would you have written me off as a burden, Indy?"

"Of course not." She scoffs as if she's insulted I would even suggest it. "I would never do such a thing."

"So what? You think I'm capable of such a thing?" Her face instantly drops at my words.

"No! Derek, it's different. I don't know what might happen! I could be fine for the next several years, or I might not be able to get out of bed tomorrow. That kind of uncertainty is–"

"Is the same for everyone," I state firmly. "I could've gotten into a wreck on the way home from work. I could've been mauled by penguins today." She giggles softly, and it hits me right in the heart. "The point is, tomorrow isn't guaranteed. Tomorrow, you may wake up feeling great and ready to go back home and start getting back into our routines, or you could wake up and be in too much pain to move. If that's the case, we adapt."

"Adapt?" she repeats while raising a brow, and I nod.

"I will order room service. Yes, I said room service. We will watch all the shows that I hate at your preferred volume, I will massage you and help you bathe, and then I'll pay a handler—not Scott—to bring a penguin up here, so you can pet it in the bed." Tears begin to roll down her soft cheeks as she stares at me in wonder.

"I don't understand."

I laugh softly, "Little darlin', you're my happiness, light, and home. My life is richer just from you touching it. But I'm selfish. I want my life to continue to get richer. I don't want this to end; I can't let it end." Taking a deep breath, I look directly at her.

"So, you can say no, but I'll still be around. I'm not running, and I'm not shutting down anymore Indy. I've stayed quiet and alone for half of my life. I won't do it again. I care about you, and I will fight for us. For as long as it takes."

She stares at me for a long moment, and it causes my already accelerated heart rate to spike up even more. "I'm not going to make this easy," she warns softly, and I instantly relax.

"I would be disappointed if you did." I chuckle as she lays back on my chest.

"I once had an MS Hug so bad I vomited all over my scrubs and the doctor I was doing rounds with." I run my fingers through her curls and lie back against the pillow.

"One time, I flipped a tractor and cut my femoral artery and began bleeding out all over this beautiful girl I had a massive crush on." It's her turn to let out a laugh before she tries to one-up me again.

"One time, I was on my period during an attack and couldn't change my pads myself." Oh, I am so winning this game.

"One time, when I was about eighteen, I tried to show off by riding a bull. I got thrown off, landed on my ass in such a way that every time I moved or sat down for a week after, I would shit myself." It works. Indy lets out the loudest, sweetest laugh ever while raising her hand.

"Okay, you win."

"I love you too," she whispers, and my heart nearly stops. I forgot I was still nervously awaiting her response until now.

"Oh my god," I breathe in relief, wanting to both laugh and cry. "Oh my god, say it again," I beg.

She smiles at me as I place my hand on her neck, "Derek Grumpypants Rowe, I am in love with you, too."

My lips crash against hers in a passionate kiss. She slides her tongue against my lips, causing me to growl as I grant her access. She slips her tongue into my mouth and instantly tangles around mine while my hands get lost in her long locks.

"You're mine," I whisper, almost desperately, as I kiss my way down her neck. "Baby girl, I love you so much. Tell me you're mine. Please, I need to hear it."

"I'm yours," she whines. "And you're mine, right?"

My kisses stop on her collarbone before lifting my head to stare at her. "Sweet Indy, I've always been yours." A whimper escapes her throat as I pull her down for another kiss.

I distinctly hear the rumbling of thunder, but for once, Indy doesn't jump or shake. Instead, she deepens the kiss, and it's now that I'm so thankful for that tornado watch and this tiny ass bathtub.