36. Derek

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

Derek

" H ow is she?" Ash's voice causes me to jump and slosh my lukewarm coffee all over my hand. The machine hasn't worked properly once, and I've tried it at least three times. Each time, the coffee is marginally warmer than the time before.

"She's acting fine," I mutter, cleaning up the spill. "Singing, cracking jokes and making the staff fall in love with her. I think the doctor's supposed to be releasing her in the next couple of hours." Thank god, because last night was terrible. I sat in the fucking chair staring at Indy's sleeping form the entire night. I tried my hardest not to. I knew without a doubt if she woke up and caught me, she would scream at me to get my ass out. But I couldn't stop. All I could think about was how I could fix this for her and make it easier.

I've done some reading on MS, but not nearly enough, I'm ashamed to say. I should've been diving into this, knowing the signs and symptoms, finding out the best ways to help her, but I haven't. I've spent so much time trying to avoid considering my feelings for her that I overlooked something so vital. It makes me think of Atlas and how despite him being a fucking moron most of the time, the second he found out about Ren's diabetes, he jumped right in: taking classes, researching how to care for her, what to do to make her life easier. I never thought I'd be thinking about it, but I wish I was more like him in this instance.

"How come Indy isn't in physical therapy?" I ask while Ash and I walk down the hall toward Indy's room. "They mentioned her low Vitamin D levels, and she just shrugged. And I read she should be eating a balanced diet."

Ash lets out an exhausted breath. "Indy has been sick and has given up a lot. So, now that she's on her own, she's rebelling. When she lived with our mom and then in the apartment with me, she had a sleeping schedule, rarely had junk food, and no caffeine unless she snuck it. She worked out, and that included a stepper. The relapse at the shop last year when she had the accident took away her ability to do stairs, including her stepper. I think since then, she's been angry." He pauses while contemplating for a moment. "Well, angry on the inside. Indy did everything right, and she still lost part of her independence. So, in my opinion, she's pissed off. Even if she's smiling. Depression and anxiety are very common in people with MS. It's a shitty disease."

I stare at him as I absorb his words. "What." I cough to clear the frog out of my throat and try to speak again. "What can I do to help her?" Ash's eyes narrow slightly, and he takes a deep breath.

"Virginia, if you hurt her."

"If I hurt her, trust me, I will hand myself over to you."

"I can't believe you are with my happiness and light sister. I feel like I'm being pranked." He grumbles.

"I'm not that bad of a guy. At least I wasn't out there fucking everything with a cunt." I whisper to not draw attention to us. Ash thinks about my words before nodding.

"Very true. Fine, I'll accept that you and my sister are in the Hallmark Disney Channel relationship where all you do is hold hands."

"Well, that's going to be awkward," I say, rubbing the back of my neck. "Because I was about to go in there and make her scream," I smirk and watch Ash's face turn red. I'm about to deliver another comment when a crashing sound from Indy's room gets our attention.

Ash and I rush in to see two nurses trying to coax Indy back into her bed. Indy is sobbing in a corner with blood running down her arm from where she must've ripped her IV out. I watch as another nurse walks in with a vial and syringe.

"No!" I bark out, causing the staff to jump and look at me. I point to the nurse holding the vial. "You're not drugging her. Everyone, calm the fuck down. Stop crowding her."

"Sir," one of the staff walks up. "Your wife is not well right now. A light sedative will—"

"Look at her! She isn't a danger to herself, and she certainly isn't one to you people," I say through gritted teeth. "Back away from her." I look at Indy; her face is pressed into the corner, and I can hear her small cries. I see the blood dripping onto her hospital sock, and I just want to grab her and run away. Slowly, I make my way up to her.

"Hey, darlin'," I say as softly as I can manage. "Baby, I'm gonna touch your back, alright?" I place my hand on her, and she whips around instantly and crashes into my chest. "Shhhh…" I whisper as I wrap my arms around her protectively, finally able to breathe. She's in my arms, and now I know she's safe. If any of these fuckers come near her right now, it will be the last goddamn thing they do.

"I've been banned." She cries against my chest, and I frown before looking at Ash. He shrugs before speaking up.

"Indy, what are you talking about? Banned from where?" She lets out another cry.

"The children's hospital. Liam got my non-profit banned. Derek, he took the kids from me." She wails out, and I feel her knees give out. I pick her up and hold her to me as she sobs.

"W-what? Baby, you said that you knew someone."

"She's been on leave for a month, and her replacement made the call." She sobs out as her body shakes. I guess I'm going to be murdering this fucker after all.

I look over at Ash. He's staring at me, and his black eyes are somehow darker. The only thing keeping Indy happy and it's been ripped from her.

"What happened?" Ash whispers to me in the dark, quiet room. We were supposed to leave earlier, but poor Indy couldn't calm down. Losing those kids, it's like someone ripped her soul out of her. When it was evident she wasn't calming down, Ash and I agreed to allow them to give her medication to relax. I hated agreeing. I have nothing against medication, but I hate how she's unable to wake up now. It's a whole new level of stress.

"She was going on that date," I grumble, pulling Indy's limp body closer as I rest my head back on her pillow. Despite the joy I receive watching Ash squirm, I'm not one to publicly display affection, but I need to be touching her, holding her as close as possible. I've never felt this way before. I've never felt like she may disappear if I can't touch her. I hate it, and I'm addicted to it at the same time. "The dickhead was trying to get a date with the staff while waiting for Indy to show up, and it pissed me off."

"Did you hit him?" Ash rests his ankle over his knee as he leans back in the chair.

"I mean, I almost did," I admit softly before letting out a small chuckle. "It might've been the first time I've ever stopped myself."

"Why did you stop?" His question sends me back to that moment. I was ready to beat that cocksucker's face in, but fucking Indy, she has a way of speaking to me, even when she isn't there.

"Aren't you waiting on your date?" I overhear the waitress laugh as the dickhole, Liam, continues to shamelessly flirt with her in Indy's absence. I would be worried about her tardiness if it weren't for the fact that she texted him, and he has repeatedly mentioned that his girl is running late.

His girl. I nearly broke my beer bottle over his head for that one. I wonder how he would feel knowing his girl had my cock buried inside her tight little pussy, and it was my name she was screaming.

"Ah, she's more of a charity date." My ears perk up at his comment. "Poor girl is kind of an outsider. She's disabled, and I'm just trying to show her a nice night. But maybe afterward…" Liam's voice trails off as my hands slam onto his bar table. I try not to think about the stickiness of the tabletop as I glare down at the man.

"Outside," I growl, "Now."

"Excuse me?" He laughs while looking at the waitress. "Is this your boyfriend?"

"No," I snap before the waitress can answer. "I'm Indy's. Now, I will say this one more time before I break your hands—outside." Liam pales as he gets up and starts for the door. Turning to the waitress, I throw a fifty on the bar. "When a sweet little woman comes in with braids and a really pretty white dress, you haven't seen either of us." I grab a hundred and lay it on top of the fifty. "Understood?" The waitress nods, and I turn to catch up to Liam.

"Oh no, you don't," I grab the man trying to get into his car and whirl him around, slamming him against the door. "You think I'm done with you?" I snarl while grabbing his shirt collar. "Give me one good reason I shouldn't kill you for that comment? How fucking dare you say that about my girl? You call her a charity date? Talk about her illness?" I can't think. I don't remember a time being filled with this level of blinding rage.

"Stop!" He gasps as I wrap my hand around his throat. I cock my fist back, ready to deliver the first of several blows this piece of shit is going to receive, when my eye catches my bracelet on the wrist Liam is currently grasping, trying to get me to loosen my chokehold on him.

"You're not the big bad wolf you make everyone think you are."

"If I stayed back there and allowed that anger and fear to consume me, I wouldn't be who I am today."

"Stop hurting your beautiful hands."

Blinking, I lower my fist and loosen my grip on the cowering man. God, I want to hit him, but I can't. I grip his shirt and shove him back before stepping away. "Never speak to Indy again. You understand me?"

Liam hops into his car, starts the engine, and rolls down the window. "Don't worry, after I'm done, she'll never step foot in that hospital again!"

"Jesus," Ash breathes after I explain the events that night. "I don't blame you though, honestly I would've hit him."

"Surprisingly, that doesn't make me feel any better," I grunt out.

"Derek," Indy's soft voice mumbles as she snuggles closer to me.

"Yeah, darlin'?" She whimpers, and I feel her trying to move her hand.

"Can't… hold you." She's still mostly asleep, and the cracking in her voice breaks my heart. Looking down, I see her trying to squeeze my shirt over my heart. She always grabs the same place when we sleep together. Placing my hand gently over hers, I squeeze our hands softly and relax as she lets out a little sigh.

"She lost her kids because of me," I whisper, the guilt filling me. "If I hadn't…"

"If you hadn't," Ash interrupts, he sounds reluctant to admit whatever he's about to. "Indy could've been hurt. If you heard him saying that shit to the waitress, that means he was going to try and get her to be physical. She would've turned him down, and he would've probably used the hospital as leverage. God only knows what she would've agreed to at that point." I keep my rage down, Ash and I sitting here thinking of worst-case scenarios of an event that didn't happen won't end well.

"I need to get her that job back," I whisper while running my thumb over her knuckles. Her hand is so tiny, curled into mine like a baby bird.

"Derek," Ash's use of my name sends an odd sensation through me. My eyes meet his, and I see the reluctant look on his face. "Do you love her?" Indy whimpers when my hand involuntarily grips hers. Once I am sure she's alright, I turn back to him in a panic.

"Ash," I nearly plead. "I really don't want to have this discussion."

"Yeah, me either."

"Fine, I'll answer if you answer me first. What's wrong with me? I would never cheat or raise a finger to her. I would take care of her without question. I have a well-paying job that allows me the freedom to take time off if she needs me to. So why am I the shitty option?"

"You're not," Ash states softly while looking at Indy's form. "You're exactly the person I would want to love her. You're stable and protective, and you would be able to watch over her. My fear is she's going to get dark after this, and it may tear you two apart. And we are all kind of connected, so it will get awkward when I have to hiss at you in solidarity with my sister."

I give him a snort before shaking my head. "Nah, if she wanted out, she's free to go. But if you think her darkness will push me away, you're wrong. I understand that darkness she's battling, and I would never leave her to suffer through that alone."

"Why? Why would you stay in that hell? And yes, I'm telling you, it will be hell."

"Because," I say softly while looking down at the slumbering, raven-haired beauty. "It's what you do when you're in love."