22. Indy

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

Indy

" C ome homeeeeee!" Janie whines from one of the four panels on the group video chat. The other three are filled with Stevie, Ren, and Sunday's faces.

"I miss you guys, too. I think Ozzy will be able to get down here a little sooner than she thought, but I'm still a couple of weeks out." I sigh as I rub my tired face. I'm beyond frustrated and exhausted in every sense of the word. Emotionally. Physically. Psychologically. Sexually…

I've been here for a week, and Derek is so hot and cold with me that for the last two days, I've tried to avoid him at all costs. I thought we connected after our night under the stars, but now I don't know. Yeah, things got a little, okay, a lot heated in the lake. My god, listening to his sounds of pleasure while I got him off and the way his hand so expertly played me…

I saw his regret the moment we got out of the lake, and I knew that if we got back into that truck, the rest of this stay would be a disaster. When I saw that shooting star, I felt like it was a sign. Never did I foresee him and I staying out there on that dock and looking up at the stars, talking about nothing really but also everything. I told him about growing up, being a nurse, and I talked to him about my not bucket list." He told me about his life here, his short stint as a bull rider, and his desire to see the Northern Lights while staying in a yurt. I don't know why, but him talking about a dream of his made him seem more human and in that moment, I thought that maybe, with him, I would be willing to try. To allow a connection that isn't strictly platonic. That is until we got back into the house at nearly sunrise. We snuck in, and I went to shower and freshen up before starting breakfast. But by the time he and I reunited in the kitchen, it was like the night had never happened. And he's been ignoring me since.

Thankfully, my remission seems to be in full swing, and I feel okay regarding pain and stiffness. So all I need help with is the stairs. I try to plan my trips up and down whenever Derek's brothers are around though, which I would assume he dislikes, but he's not saying anything.

"Is Derek coming back to Hel's?" Janie asks, breaking me out of my thoughts. How long have I been zoned out? I see the nervousness etched on her pretty face and give her a sympathetic smile.

"I haven't talked to him about it," I say softly. "But don't worry, I'm sure he is." I watch as her bottom lip wobbles.

"Tell him," she inhales, trying not to let out a sob. "Tell him I'm so sorry. I'm a fucking dick, and I miss his face."

"Indy—" Derek's voice causes me to look toward the door. "Oh, hi, ladies." He gives a small wave, and his face falls. "Janie? Why are you crying?" Janie covers her mouth and turns off her camera, and I groan.

"I'll text you girls later. Love you." I hang up the video call before spinning back to Derek.

"I'm sorry Indy. I didn't mean for you to hang up. My mom needs help and won't let me do it."

"It's alright," I smile as I slowly stand up. "I can talk to them later."

"Why's Janie crying?" He follows me out of the room, and I let out a sigh.

"Well, she's a little upset about how you two ended things." I watch his jaw tighten as he lifts me up in his arms to take me up the stairs.

"She'll be alright," he mutters, and I shove off him, feeling annoyed by his cold attitude.

"Fuck Indy," he grunts while setting me on the step. "You tryin' to make us both fall?"

"I didn't ask you to carry me. You shouldn't just assume you can come and pick me up whenever you want."

"Are you serious? Girl, I'm taking you upstairs like I always do! What bug crawled up your little ass today?"

"Don't ‘girl' me!" I snap, poking his chest. "You aren't my father! You don't get to scold me like that!" Derek rolls his eyes as he tenses his jaw.

"Fine," he grits out. "Indiana, would you allow me the honor of carrying your royal ass up these stairs so I can get on with my day?"

Oh, look at that,

My darkness whispers.

Indy's becoming a burden here, too.

"I–" I flinch at the crack in my throat, and my darkness laughs at me. "I'll go up myself, thank you," I state firmly.

"Stop being a brat," he mutters while leaning in to grab me.

"You stop being a dick!" I yell and shove him. He doesn't move, but I stumble and start to go down the stairs.

"Indy!" Derek gasps as he grabs me with one arm while gripping the banister with the other as he falls on his butt with a loud grunt, and me landing on top of him.

"Are you alright?" We manage out at nearly the same time. Derek doesn't answer and I know it's because he's waiting for my response.

"I'm not hurt, are you?"

"I'll be fine," He grunts, and I look to see his back hit the edge of the steps. "Can I just take you upstairs without any more of this? Please?"

"Okay," I say, my voice small as I stand and allow him to lift me. I note the wincing, and I feel so terrible. I had a tantrum, and he got hurt.

Derek sets me down at the top of the stairs and doesn't wait a second before turning around and marching back downstairs. Taking a breath, I put on my best face and tap on the door.

"Good afternoon," I smile as I walk in. Dorothy beams at me, no doubt ready to get up and start moving. Morris rolls his eyes before looking back at the television.

"Good afternoon, Indy." Dorothy beams as I move her walker over to place it in front of her. "You're looking tired, sweetheart. Are you getting sleep?"

I chuckle. "Some. Insomnia kind of goes with the MS sometimes."

"You gonna rely on someone to carry you the rest of your life?" Morris huffs out, and I bite the inside of my cheek to distract myself. That one hit an already raw nerve.

"Well, hopefully, I can find a place with no stairs when I return home." I smile as I get under Dorothy's arm and help her stand, thankful once again that I've been having so many yellow days. I love it when I get to wear my yellow bracelet. A lot of times, I have it on for a few hours up to a day. This is the third day it's been on. Which is amazing, considering I just started my period. Usually, I am in considerably more pain during my time of the month.

"Ah yes," Morris grumbles. "That makes sense. Avoid the situation. That's the problem with you kids; you never find a real solution. Just avoidance. Just like our Derek, divorces his wife, leaves the state, and shuts down completely." I blink and look between Morris and Dorothy.

Wow, that was a little harsh.

"Morris!" Dorothy hisses at her husband while gripping tightly to the handles of her walker. "Come on, dear, I need to get out of here before I lose what's left of my mind."

I continue to walk back and forth on the long landing that overlooks the living area downstairs as Dorothy continues to pepper me with question after question. I don't mind, though. It's nice having someone interested in getting to know me.

"You must have a big heart," she says through labored breaths. "To do what you do for those sick babies. And then to just drop your life and come here because we need help? There is a throne waiting for you in heaven, baby."

Laughing lightly, I shake my head. "Nah, I think a throne is pushing it." I continue to watch her movements, though she seems sturdier than I am. "You're healing nicely. Very quickly. I think once the physical therapy starts tomorrow, you'll be healed in no time."

Dorothy lets out a winded laugh. "Ain't got the time to be down. This ranch can only run for so long without a woman behind the wheel. Rowe men are known for their hard work, hard heads, and big tempers. If a woman ain't around to remind them they aren't a bunch of wild animals, they will return to communicating in grunts and growls."

I can't help the laugh that escapes me at her comment. With her strong, tall build and long, grey hair, Dorothy looks like a force to be reckoned with. You can tell she's spent her life wrangling oversized men and animals.

Once I've helped Dorothy with her exercises and gotten her back into bed, I clean up and give her and Morris their respective medications before heading to the steps. Sighing, I grab my phone and go to call Derek, but I see Carter walking in.

"Carter! Can you help me?" I ask sheepishly. Carter jogs up the stairs and lifts me into his arms.

"Can I ask you something?" He says, and I cringe, fearing what he could want to know, but nod my consent. "Why don't you use a cane to get up and down the stairs?"

"Well," I let out a breath, relieved it wasn't something inappropriate. "I have in the past, but you need to have arm strength, and mine has been weakening recently. So, I try to avoid steps if possible. Which I've only had to do for the last year. Before that, I was a lot stronger. I could take steps, dance, practice yoga, and all that. I didn't bounce back as well this time." I mutter the last part as we reach the landing. Carter goes to set me down just as Derek walks in. I watch his brown eyes narrow.

"What the fuck?" He grunts, walking over to us.

"What?" Carter laughs. "I'm helping the beautiful angel down the steps."

Derek shoves Carter away and glares down at me. I match his heated look, raising a brow. "Do we have a problem?" I ask, crossing my arms over my chest. Derek blinks, and his expression softens.

"No. Are you busy?" His question throws me.

"Uhm, no? Why? What's up?" I watch him rub the back of his neck as he looks away. Is he nervous?

"I'm gonna go to town. Do you wanna go with me?" I give him a small smile and nod.

"Yeah! Let me change real quick." I pat his chest and head toward my room, hoping that maybe this is an olive branch he's extending and he will stop being such a butthead to me. But even if it's not, it's the perfect opportunity for me to apologize to him for my tantrum on the steps.