18. Derek

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Derek

" A ND ANOTHER THING!" Janie roars at me. She's shaking, and at this point, I can't tell if it's her tremors or just her blinding fury. I sit quietly on the couch in the office as she paces in front of me, her cheeks red hot and fists clenched. I pay her no mind, though. I just keep staring at the unopened bag of food in front of me. She brought me lunch. She brought me a special lunch because she knows how I am about fast food. And I talked down to her in a way you wouldn't speak to an ill-behaved dog, let alone someone as amazing as her.

"You ever feel the need to hurt Indy's fucking feelings again, Rowe, you come fucking find me. My dad and Fox let your shit attitude slide, and even I did for a while because I grew up knowing that "Derek is a grouch." But I'll be damned if I ever walk through my shop again and find my employee and my best friend sobbing and needing help to get out of here because of you. Are we understood?"

"Yes," I grunt, continuing to stare at the bag. Janie can say what she wants. None of it will make me feel any worse than I already do.

"Alright, pop," Fox, who has been silently sitting behind the desk while Janie unleashes holy hell on me, finally speaks up. Pop had been our codename at Hel's for when Tony, Janie's late father, would become ten kinds of pissed off, and once Janie started taking over after the old man's passing, she and her temper inherited that nickname. "I think he's got the point."

"I sure as shit hope so because this dark, solitary attitude is done. This mentality that you don't have to treat your family respectfully ends. Now."

"Janie–" Fox interjects, but I wave him off.

"Janie," I sigh as I look from Fox's apologetic gaze to Janie's heated one. I huff out a dry laugh. "I quit." I watch Janie's face fall.

"What?" She breathes and looks from me to Fox. "He… you can't quit?" I shrug.

"Yeah, I can. I liked y'all the best I could, but I'm not going to be forced into being a "family member" or get talked down to like this." Janie furrows her brow.

"Are you serious?" She turns to Fox, "Is he serious?"

"I am," I say firmly. "I treated Indy horribly, and I will rectify that, don't you worry. But I've let you scream at me for an hour now, and I'm done. I need a break. I can't do this anymore, Janie."

"You can't just leave." I feel bad. She sounds rejected, and I hate that because as much as she and I bicker. I do like her. But I'm getting yelled at by her, threatened by Ash, and Indy is constantly here or on my mind, and I need a fucking break, so if that means I have to leave Hel's Ink, it will kill me, but I will.

"I'm sorry, Mama J," I say under my breath before walking out of the office and out the back door for what apparently will be one of the last times.

Me: Indy, please

Me: Indy, I need to talk to you

Me: INDY

Me: Goddamn it! I will find Luca's address and come to you.

Me: You're not at Luca's. He said you haven't been there in days.

Me: Okay, you've left me no choice. I'm calling your brother

Indy: Derek, stop.

I stare at the text message. I've been trying for hours to get her to respond. I had to track down Luca and threaten to beat his face in before he told me Indy said she'd been staying with me again, but that was days ago. I'm emotionally fried; my stress level is through the roof, and she's been staying somewhere that no one knows about, and she's telling me to stop? No. Absolutely fucking not.

Me: Where. Are. You?

Indy: In bed

Me: WHOSE bed, brat?

Indy: Sunnyside Up

"The fucking by-the-hour motel!" I yell as I stop myself from throwing the fucking phone. I put my parked vehicle in drive and peel out of the parking lot of Luca's apartment building before speeding down the road. Sunnyside. She's lying in a bed at the fucking Sunnyside.

I whip into the lot and slam my vehicle into park, watching as the drug dealers and sex workers funnel in and out of the condemnable rooms as the sun sets behind this by-the-hour hellhole. I'm going to kill her. I mean, obviously, there are zero other options. She knits hats for sick kids and dresses up like a princess, and this is where she's staying? I'm so mad I can't see straight. How has no one in her life looked at her and said: "Gee Indy, I know you think everyone is basically good, but you're wrong and aren't going to make it if you keep skipping around like stars float from your ass."

I walk into the filthy lobby that reeks of stale cigarettes, old booze, and some rancid body odor that's trying to churn my stomach. Spotting the greasy man sitting at the front counter, I walk over, trying to ignore the sound my shoes make as they stick to something on the orange-looking floor.

"I'm looking for a girl," I state, and the man snorts before rolling his eyes.

"I supply the rooms, not the whores."

I feel a violent shake run through my body. Beating his face in won't get me any closer to Indy. Though, I would feel a whole hell of a lot better.

"Short, blue eyes, black curly hair, slim," I say through gritted teeth. He smirks, and I get a front-row view of his rotting teeth.

"Ah yeah, she's a popular one. Or she would be if she'd give out her rates. Told her to let me know if she'd like to work out other payment arrangements." I'm killing him. I'm going to find Indy, remove her from this cesspool, and after I've ensured all the grime is scrubbed from her body, I'm coming back here and killing this man.

"She's in room 22. I told her that one isn't usually the best side for the girls, but she said something about the purple door," he mutters, gesturing out the nicotine-stained window. "I told her she'd get further using her mouth to suck cock than to ramble abo—" My fist collides with his filthy face and I nod to myself, realizing my previous assumptions are correct. I feel better now that I've beaten his face in.

Storming out of the office, I stalk across the parking lot, ignoring the calls and whistles from different tenants before walking to the purple door. A sickening thought enters my brain as I go to knock. If she left this fucking door unlocked…

I grip the doorknob and sigh in relief when I'm met with resistance. "Occupied!" I blink in confusion at the horrendous fake male voice coming from the other side of the room. Is she trying to sound intimidating?

"Gonna have to try harder than that, darlin'. Now, open this damn door." I hear her mutter fudge before the door unlocks and opens. Fudge? See, this is my whole fucking point. A drug deal is happening in room 21, and she is saying fudge.

Staring down at Indy, I feel the rage begin to stir all over again. She's too damn innocent and na?ve to be here. She should be back at my house in her bed singing some annoying ass song. Of course, it's my fault she's not there, but that's a guilt I'll beat myself with later.

"What did you bring with you?" I ask briskly as I walk in. The place is gross—there's a weird smell and something wet is rolling off the walls. And is that a cockroach?

"Just my tote." She shrugs. "I was going to order a blanket. Derek! Put me down!" She cries out, hitting my back with her fists as I hoist her over my shoulder, grab her bag, and exit the room.

"I will once we are in my vehicle," I grunt, walking across the parking lot. I tense, and nearly drop her as her fingers go into my armpits, and she starts wiggling them.

"Indy!" I bark out, "S-Stop! I'll drop your ass!"

"That's the point!" She states, continuing to tickle me. I open the door to my Yukon before putting her ass in the passenger seat. Defiant as ever, Indy tries to get back out, and I've had enough. I'm fucking done. I reach out, gripping her jaw with my hand. It's not hard enough to hurt her, but enough to ensure she realizes I'm not playing around.

Leaning in and taking up all the available space, I stare directly into her wide eyes. My voice is low and full of authority as I speak, "You are going to be a good fucking girl. Sit your pretty ass in this goddamn seat and not fucking play with me. Do we understand each other?" I watch as her mouth parts and her pupils dilate, causing my cock to harden. Nope, fucking knock it off, Rowe.

I feel her swallow against my hand as she nods slowly, putting her legs back into the vehicle. "That's my girl," I whisper as I let her go, then shut the door before rounding the front and getting in.

I'm not even sure we've made it three minutes before her nervous chatter starts up. "Where are we going?"

"My house," I mutter, gripping the steering wheel. I can't scream at her. That's not the way to handle this, but fucking hell, what was she thinking?

"I can't stay there." She huffs, and I snort.

"Not up to your obviously high standards? I'm sure I can whip up some bed bugs and shit stains to make it more accommodating."

"I can't stay because of you. You jerk." She mutters the last part. I sigh as I pull into my driveway.

"Indy, I'm sorry for what I said. Really, I am." She stares at me and shakes her head.

"I don't need your apology. I forgave you the moment it happened."

"Well, that makes one of us," I grumble, get out of the driver's seat, and walk around to help her. I unlock the front door and let her into the house.

"I don't want to be here." She says, and I ignore the sting in my chest those words cause.

"Indy I'm so—"

"Stop apologizing!" She snaps, and her tone takes me back. "I don't need your sorry! What I need is for you to leave me alone! I was trying to be nice, and you hurt my feelings, Derek! Really bad. And while I understand and forgive you, it still hurts. And I'm so angry that it hurts because no one is supposed to be able to hurt me, not like this." My brows soften as I look at her.

"Indy, listen, I'm not sorry for what I said, how I said it, absolutely. I don't want to hurt you, ever. It fucking guts me when I do."

"Why?" Her voice is small, but the question is almost too loud. She looks up at me, her eyes glassy and lost.

"Fuck this," I grunt out and close the distance and capture her lips with mine. I hear her squeak in shock, and I'm about to pull back when she wraps her arms around my neck, pulling me closer. This is wrong, so fucking wrong. But I can't stop. I growl out a breath as I feel her lick my bottom lip, and it causes my cock to twitch. I grab a fistful of her raven locks and tug gently, pulling her head to the side as I open my mouth, allowing her to slip her tongue in and explore. My knees nearly give out at the feel of her sweet tongue against mine.

"Indy!" I gasp, breaking the kiss when I feel her hand on my belt buckle. I look at her wild, lust-filled eyes and swollen lips. God, I want her so badly, it's killing me.

"What?" She pants, unbuckling the belt. She goes to run her hand over the front of my jeans, and I grip her wrist, stopping her. If she does that, I will lose all resolve.

"We can't," I say firmly. Or I think I do. I'm not sure, though. It may've come out as a whimper at this point. Jerking her hand away from me, Indy fucking jumps on me. I grip her under her ass, and before I can speak, she's kissing me again, and fucking hell, she tastes too good. I bounce her up to get a better grip, and she lets out an absolutely sinful moan. Breaking the kiss, she leans back, and I watch as she lifts her shirt. Fuck.

"N-No. Indy, stop." I state as I set her back on her feet. I watch as the rejection flashes over her face.

"Wait," I say slowly as she shakes her head.

"It's fine. Not your type, I get it." Those fucking words are going to haunt me for the rest of my fucking life.

"Indyyy…" I groan out. "Come on, it's obvious I was lying when I said that." I gesture to the erection, trying to bust through my jeans. I can't help the inward smirk when I see her do a double take.

"Well, something must be wrong with me." She scoffs, and I can see the embarrassment and rejection all over her face.

"Oh, baby girl," I grab her hand and pull her to me. "There isn't a goddamn thing wrong with you. Never think otherwise." She huffs and looks away.

"It's not you, it's me." She says mockingly. I want to laugh, but the look of rejection on her face is destroying me.

"It is me, Indy. If I wasn't fucked up in the head, do you think I'd say no to you? Really?"

"Yeah, I do!" She snaps, and I watch as a tear falls down her cheek. "Because they all do. Everyone rejects me. I have MS, but you would think I tell them I have the goddamn plague. I've already accepted I'll never have a boyfriend or husband because I won't put my shit on others, despite what you said earlier. But now, I can't even get a casual fuck or make-out session. Perfect, I'll just grow old and die with a shriveled-up vagina and exactly one really shitty sexual encounter."

I stare at her, annoyance coursing through me. "Do not," I state through gritted teeth. "Put me in the same category as those bitches. Your MS doesn't have a goddamn thing to do with this. My god, are you telling me you would actually fuck me if you thought that I felt that way?"

"What does it matter?" she shrugs. "I just wanted to feel wanted, alright. Are you happy? I'm always ‘Indy the fragile doll' or ‘Indy the happy ditz with rainbows shooting out her ass.' Nobody sees me and thinks, ‘Wow, now there's a hot woman.'" She shakes her head. "Just forget it. I don't want to talk anymore." She turns to walk away.

"Indy, you can't just—"

"I don't want to talk!" she shouts, glaring back at me. "You don't want me? Fine. Then don't. Stop fucking talking to me!" She spins on her heel and storms to her room, slamming the door shut in the process. I jump when my phone starts ringing. Normally, I would ignore it. But the ringtone tells me I need to pick it up.

I put the phone to my ear. "Hey, mama," I say while staring down the hallway.

"D," my mom sobs into the phone, and my stomach drops. Oh God, Dad couldn't have died yet. There was still more time. "Son, you know I wouldn't ask unless I need you, but… Baby, I fell and broke my hip."

"Are you alright?" I breathe as I turn around and head to the futon. "Is Ozzy there yet?"

"She couldn't start for a month. Theo is back in Texas and can't get up here. I can't get anyone from an agency out here to help and..." She starts sobbing again, and I squeeze my eyes shut. My mom doesn't ask for help, and she doesn't cry. She is a strong, old-fashion ranch woman, and hearing her break down like this breaks my heart.

"Mama, what do you need?" I ask as I put the phone on speaker to set it down. If I hold it, I will certainly break it.

"D, I don't know, son. I'm bedridden. Your father is unable to move, and your brothers are trying to help, but I don't want them seeing me this way, and none of them can stay long in the house. It's the busy season. I tried calling the agency in the city, but I guess your brother done ran them all out, and that Ozzy girl can't start any sooner." Another sob comes through the phone. "Derek, I'm scared that if they take us to a home, we won't come back."

I run my hands through my beard in frustration. "Okay," I breathe out. "Okay, Mama, I'll figure this out. Give me an hour, and I'll call you back. It's going to be okay."

"I'm so sorry." She cries out, and I fight the burning sensation in my eyes and nose.

"It's okay. I'll call you back. I love you." I hang up the phone and run my hands through my hair before grabbing my coffee table and slamming it to the floor. I stand up and drive my fist into the wall.

"Goddamn it!" I shout, feeling like I can't breathe.

I slide to the ground and rest my head in my hands. How am I going to fix this? I'm going to have to go back to Virginia to help my family until Ozzy can get there. But that isn't going to help with any of the medical shit.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," I whisper over and over into my hands. I jump when I feel the warm touch of Indy's hands on my wrist. Looking up, I watch as she straddles my lap and stares into my eyes.

"Talk to me," she whispers, her hands cupping my face.

"Indy, I'm fine—"

"Are you?" she jerks back. "Well, then."

"Don't." I grab her hips and look into her eyes. "Don't leave… please." I feel her settle back down, and I take an exhausted breath.

"My mom, she broke her hip. She just called, and she needs help. I need to go back to Virginia, and Ozzy can't get out there any sooner, so I'm going to have to try to convince a nurse or someone to come help."

"Well," Indy runs her hand through my hair, and fuck, that's officially the best feeling in the world. I feel myself leaning into her touch, and I'm so overwhelmed at this point that I don't even care. "You have a nurse right here. You wouldn't even have to convince her."

Blinking, I shake my head, "What? Indy, no." I say in shock. Is she insane? "Y-you can't just—"

"Can't just what?" Indy raises a defiant brow. "I'm an adult. I'm very much capable of doing what the fuck ever I want."

"That ranch is forty-five minutes from a hospital. There's no Uber out there. And the house is full of stairs."

She shrugs. "You need help, and I can help."

Groaning in defeat, I lean my head back against the wall. "This is a terrible idea, and Ash will forbid you."

"It's funny that you men actually think you have some sort of say over me and my decisions." I feel her lean in, and her lips brush over mine.

"Damn it," I whimper under my breath. She's killing me.

"Shhh…" she murmurs while pulling my bottom lip into her hot mouth.

"You feel too good," I groan, in near pain, while pulling her closer, but freezing with that sinful tongue tries to slip into my mouth. "Baby girl," I pant, pulling away.

"I know," she sighs while gripping my shoulders to steady herself as she stands, and I could quite literally sob over the loss. "I'm forbidden fruit." She teases, though she has no idea just how right she is about that.

"This isn't like me asking you to help me clean or move. You get that, right?" She laughs as I stand up.

"Yeah, well, if it were, it would be the easiest favor because you have nothing here. Here's the deal, Rowe, I like you." This girl is going to give me a heart attack saying shit like that. "I like you, and despite what an asshole you tend to be toward everyone… including me sometimes. You put my mascara on, beat that guy up, and looked all over the city until you found me in that hotel. And those are just the highlights, so I know you like me too. I'm willing to chalk this kissing thing up to us being overly stressed and probably sexually frustrated. But I'm not going to stop. Whether you like it or not, you're my friend, and I help my friends." I stare at her for a moment in disbelief. I can't believe she's real.

"So, friends?" she asks, sticking her pinky finger out. I give her a small smile and wrap my pinky around hers.

"Friends."