4. Asmodeus

Az just smirked. "You know, I haven't been topside in ages. This is going to be such fun, I can already tell. After all, Grams has the big dildo around here somewhere."

He thought he heard Gabe mutter, "Fuck," under his breath, but he couldn't be sure, so he just chose to ignore it.

He got up and dusted his butt off. And yup, the guy didn't even really glance at him while he did it. Definitely interesting.

Az had two things on the agenda. One—figure out what turned the guy on, or if he was asexual, what exactly he desired. He'd been summoned, dammit, and he wasn't leaving without seeing some desires fulfilled. The guy had to lust after something. Az would find out exactly what, and then they'd spend an afternoon cuddling or eating or having sex or whatever. It was a matter of pride. He simply wasn't going back to hell to say that he hadn't fulfilled his role. It was ridiculous. The Prince of Lust being totally ineffective at his job? He wouldn't hear the end of it for centuries.

Second item on the agenda was a little more complicated—he needed to figure out why the guy was immune to his powers. It took an Infernal King of the Underworld to get immunity from his gifts, and even then, when he turned it up full notch, they ended up slightly affected by it. They had to consciously make the effort to not be lusty. So for this random human to not be affected? Definitely something that needed investigating.

"So, do you live here? Or will I be crashing with you someplace else?" Az asked innocently. He had to admit the guy was kinda fun to rile up. He reminded Az a little of one his favorite grumpy friends, Minos.

He was not disappointed. "Wha—?" the guy sputtered. "Oh hell no, you are not crashing with me, or doing anything with me! We are sending you back to hell. The end. Done." Some muttering under his breath ensued, and possibly some more cursing as well.

Az just sauntered toward the house, calling back over his shoulder, "Sorry, but you summoned me, so now you're stuck with me. You can't send me back to hell. I can guarantee that your grams can't either, even if she is willing to try, because I'm definitely telling her I haven't sexed you up yet. I have a feeling she'll keep me around." He laughed as he continued walking and got to the back door, opening it and stepping into the kitchen.

He heard Gabe, still muttering, get up and walk toward the house. The kitchen was decorated in a cute farmhouse-style, but the ingredients on the table were… interesting. He saw petrified snowflakes, which were quite exotic, and unless he was mistaken, there were the even rarer finds of angel wing feathers and demon horn shavings.

Grams was obviously quite the impressive spellworker. He looked more closely at some of the labeled bottles. "Tears of broken innocence. Sweat of a virgin being deflowered," he read off.

"Stop!" Gabe snapped from behind him. "I do not want to think about Grams collecting sweat off a virgin while they're being deflowered. Just… ewwww. And I'm suddenly feeling more resentful of her collecting our tears when we were kids." He sighed, then muttered, "We really thought they grew the flowers in the backyard."

Az couldn't help it; he laughed as he turned to face Gabe. "Your grandmother is fantastic. But you haven't told me if we'll be living here, or…" he trailed off, waiting to see Gabe sputter and stew again.

He was not disappointed.

"Nope, nope, nope," Gabe snapped. "You are not coming home with me. Absolutely not."

"Ah, then you'd have me stay here with Grams?" he asked innocently, putting his hand up to his chin and rubbing it. "Hmmm, I wonder if she'll be affected by my sex energy, as you call it. We could have fun with the big dildo." Then Az winked, because he just couldn't help it.

"You're not staying here!" Gabe sputtered.

"Ah, so you'd set me loose on this lovely little town you live in? I have to stay close to my summoner, after all, so I can't leave," Az lied. Technically, he could go back to hell. Technically, he could go wherever he pleased. Gabe seemed to know quite a bit about demons, but Az was betting he didn't know Kings of the Underworld were bound by none of the same laws as lesser demons.

Although Az had to wonder if that was even the case. Gabe and Grams had already done the impossible with the summoning and the circle, so perhaps he was bound to stay close to Gabe. He could feel his ability to return to hell, so he knew that wasn't an issue (perhaps the revocation had allowed that). While topside, however, he couldn't be totally sure he wasn't actually bound to Gabe until he fulfilled his role in being summoned. That was how it worked with lesser demons, after all, and this family seemed able to apply rules to him that shouldn't be applicable.

"Oh dear god, no, you are not running loose in this town. I work here. Teenagers are already sex-minded enough; I cannot have my students any more distracted," Gabe grumped.

"Ah, a teacher? I bet you're the grumpy one that everyone loves anyway," Az mused. "All the girls and half the guys probably lust after you too," Az added.

"Nope, I do not need that thought in my head. They may be teens, but they are children. You will absolutely not be putting any lusty thoughts into the heads of children." Gabe was starting to get worked up, and although Az liked getting under his skin, he could tell the guy was seriously getting pissed off and agitated, which was not the fun kind of grumpy Az was looking for.

"Relax, Gabe. Don't get what I'm sure are your very sexy panties in a twist. I may be a lust demon, but I'm all about consent. It isn't lust on both sides if it isn't consensual, and children are not mature enough to give consent. Besides, teenagers have more than enough lust without me sending any vibes their way. I never interfere with the underaged when it comes to sex."

Az didn't add that sometimes his lust did affect kids and teens, but he focused on the nonsexual in those situations. One of his demons had once been summoned, and he'd gone topside instead because he'd wanted a little vacation. He'd seen a very horny thirteen year old upon arrival and immediately turned off the sex vibes and honed in on what else the kid might lust for. Bill had been utterly fascinated by computers, and he'd ended up creating some game while Az was there to amp up his passion. That was maybe fifty years ago or so, and Az idly wondered if the kid had continued with his passion for computers.

Ah well, no matter. Gabe looked slightly mollified but still aggravated. Much better. "So…." Az stared at Gabe, but Gabe just stared grouchily back.

"If you won't leave me here with Grams, and you don't want me set loose on your town, and I can't go back to hell…" Az trailed off, letting Gabe come to the conclusion on his own.

"Fuck," Gabe muttered. "I guess you are coming home with me. Shit."

Az laughed. "Oh, we'll have fun! Do you have a house? An apartment? Ohh, do you have roommates? Roommates could be so much fun!"

Gabe actually growled. Az just smiled more broadly. What a delightful human! He was so used to humans being all lusty and sex-brained around him. It was sort of fun to get someone who was grouchy and didn't fall into a puddle of horniness and distraction in his presence.

"I live in a converted house with my brother and sister; we each have our own apartments. And so help me god, if you use your sex energy on them, I will dismember you," Gabe threatened.

Az just laughed again. This guy was so delightful!