Chapter 2

Two

Minos growled, his form beginning to expand. Did his Adam just say the name of that awful human who had broken his soulmate's heart? Minos would rip him limb from limb; he would tear out his heart and feed it the hellhounds; he would drown him in the lake of lava; he would do all those things over and over and over—

"Hey big guy, maybe calm down a bit, hmm?" Adam said, patting his chest.

He looked down at Adam, who was looking at him adoringly. And maybe he was squeezing his soulmate a bit tightly, but Adam wasn't complaining.

He looked over to see the lesser demon cowering in fear, and yes, of course, Tim hadn't reacted so well. There were lots of human bodily fluids all over the floor and plenty of whimpering and cowering to go along with it.

Adam patted him again, saying, "Let's head back into Limbo to decide what to do before there's more of a mess to clean up."

Minos certainly couldn't look at that mortal and hold onto his composure, so he sighed and ducked through the doorway back into Limbo, his size already shrinking down to something resembling normal.

Once he wasn't staring at the pitiful excuse for a soul anymore, he looked down at Adam, who was staring up at him.

"My soul, are you alright?" he asked. It must have come as quite a shock to run into his ex in what he thought of as a safe place.

Heads would roll for that.

"Calm down, big guy. I'm fine. Surprised, sure, but I'm not distraught. Tim is a dick and I was over him a long time ago. You cured me of any lingering insecurities he left me with," Adam assured Minos, leaning up to kiss him. "I'm actually sort of curious what he's been up to, to be honest, and how he ended up in your judgment chamber."

Minos grunted at that, because he was quite curious about that himself. Now that he was no longer overcome with a burning desire to decapitate Adam's ex, he realized a few things.

First, Tim was not a soul who should be in judgment. He was an asshole, but Minos had not sensed the evil in him necessary for a placement in hell.

Second, and perhaps more important—Tim wasn't technically dead.

He now understood the leadership team's confusion. What did you do with a living mortal soul in the afterlife?

He made his way back through Limbo and found Cutie and Scowly right where he'd left them. He could barely address them by name without laughing, but he knew if he offended them that his sassy little human would not be pleased. Adam could give hell and punishment with the best of them, but when he decided he liked someone, he was just as fierce, and for whatever reason, these two were now firmly in the people we like category.

Minos didn't like many, so he let Adam decide who belonged in that category. It worked out best that way.

Unfortunately, Cutie and Scowly were not alone.

"Darling! Who are these treasures you've been hiding from me?" Pandora purred. She was in full flirt mode, although Minos wanted to tell her not to bother. Usually leadership team members were completely uninterested in anything outside of their jobs, including sex.

When Pandora rested her hand on Cutie's chest, however, he looked totally uncomfortable. Scowly reached over and removed her hand, scowling at her. Pandora merely raised an eyebrow. Cutie then moved closer to Scowly, and their wings rubbed up against each other.

Interesting. Very interesting.

He glanced down at Adam, who was staring up at him with a knowing look. Yes—there was something there. He raised his eyebrows. Should they encourage something between two leadership team members?

Adam raised his eyebrow in response, then smirked and patted Minos's chest. Yes, they should encourage something between those two, because that would totally be fun as far as Adam was concerned.

Minos gave a bit of a shrug. He supposed it couldn't hurt, and it might actually diminish the corporate drone feeling of the leadership team. He smirked a bit then, because he also knew his Adam was a total sucker for romances.

"You know, it's really creepy how I can tell you two are having an entire conversation in looks and gestures while the rest of us have no idea what's going on," Pandora said drily.

Minos looked up at her then. "We need someplace private to talk," he responded.

Next thing he knew, there was an empty booth right behind him.

"Girl, you have gotten scary good at dealing with Limbo," Adam gushed.

"Yes, well, ever since the incident"—she glared at Cutie and Scowly—"I've been working hard on manipulating things here. It's been quite enlightening."

Scowly scowled and said, "That was not our decision. Cutie wasn't even in that meeting."

Pandora looked perplexed for a moment. "Cutie?" she asked.

"Oh my gosh, Pandora! I named them! That's Cutie, and that's Scowly!" Adam gushed, pointing to each of them. "Isn't it fantastic! I have naming powers! And since I named them, I have adopted them and shall care for them and they shall be mine forever and ever!"

Pandora, pain in the ass that she was, squealed. "That's perfect! We now have our own leadership team people! They can be like our spies and we can use them for the forces of good… or evil… or whatever we're in the mood for at the moment. Such fun!"

Minos sighed. "They are not spies," he muttered. Adam started to talk, and Minos interrupted him, saying, "Nor are they puppies."

Adam pouted a bit at that, and Pandora looked unconvinced. Cutie and Scowly just looked confused. Poor things. They had no idea what they were in for with these two.

With that, Minos slid into the booth while still holding Adam, Pandora followed, and Cutie and Scowly continued to stand there and look confused.

"Sit," Minos commanded. They both slid into the booth quickly, and Minos noticed they were pressed hip to hip, shoulder to shoulder, wing to wing.

"Not puppies," Pandora murmured quietly, shaking her head while Adam giggled.

Alright, maybe his commands were a bit… short. And something you would say to a dog.

"At least they're housebroken," Minos murmured, causing Adam to snort.

Adam composed himself, though, and got down to business. "Ok, you two—we are totally not blaming you, because I know you said this was some overzealous demon, but how the hell is my ex sitting in Minos's judgment room?"

Ah yes, they had said that. Minos had forgotten that.

"One of your demons was trying to sneak him to you, Minos, although we got the impression it wasn't solely his idea. The leadership team got notification as soon as a mortal soul entered the afterlife, however, and they took control over the soul, only then they had no idea what to do with it," Cutie stated.

Minos supposed he would need to have a talk with his demons, although he was sure they were bringing him Adam's ex to torture, and he couldn't really blame their sentiment. They all adored Adam, and some of them had heard stories about his ex. Their hearts had certainly been in the right place; it wasn't their fault the leadership team had caught them before they'd been able to hand over Tim.

"Well, it seems clear that a little revenge is in order," Pandora huffed. "This was the man who ruined Adam's life. He actually caused Adam's death! He's also a complete asshole. I'm sure we can fix that whole still alive thing quite easily."

Minos grunted agreement.

Unfortunately, it was like Pandora's words had conjured up the demon in charge of such things, because he heard a voice boom out, "Bruh! Did I hear something about revenge?"

Minos and Adam turned to see Arioch striding toward their booth. Adam squealed in delight (Arioch was also one of those people we like, according to Adam), but Minos simply scowled.

"I'm quite capable of coming up with dismemberment techniques without your input," he told Ari stiffly.

"Aww, dude, no worries! I won't cramp your style! I'm all about torture, and I know you're a master at it, but sometimes revenge is about more than torture," he drawled, sliding in next to Cutie and Scowly, who both looked like they were totally at a loss as to what to do with the appearance of another Infernal King of the Underworld.

"Hmmm, yes, you do have a point. Physical torture is all well and good, but mental anguish can be far superior. Perhaps a mix of both?" Minos responded.

"Dude, absolutely! Best to mix the two for maximum revenge!" Ari said.

A voice then chimed in, "Punishment isn't truly effective unless it redeems the soul and makes them sorry for their action."

Of course Kushiel was here. Minos barely refrained from rolling his eyes, because this was yet another one of those people we like. Unfortunately, there were quite a few of them.

"The gang is almost all here! Only Asmodeus is missing!" Adam squealed in delight.

Yes, they hadn't seen Az since he'd been summoned topside. Minos wondered if perhaps they ought to check on him. After this was taken care of, of course.

Kushiel squeezed in next to Arioch, and Cutie and Scowly gave each other a look.

"Perhaps we should leave you all to decide…" Cutie began, but Ari cut him off, throwing an arm around him. When Scowly scowled at that, Ari simply extended his arm to grab Scowly and pull him in, too, smooshing him up against Cutie's side with Ari's arm holding onto both of them.

"Nonsense, dudes! You can totally help plan it all out!" Ari boomed.

Kushiel looked at both of them speculatively, and Minos could only imagine his surprise at an angel and demon cuddled up together. Then again, Kushiel was an angel who was hanging out with a bunch of demons in Limbo.

"Hmmm," Kushiel muttered, looking at Minos and Adam.

"I know, right? So much fun!" Adam replied, actually rubbing his hands together. "And," he added, shooting a look at Ari and Minos, "much more fun than talk of dismemberment and torture."

"Aw, bruh, come on now. We heard the afterlife gossip, and your ex totally needs some revenge coming down on him. He's a total douche," Ari insisted.

Minos nodded in agreement. Time to start plotting. Cutie and Scowly could wait until after Tim suffered. He leaned forward, ready to detail some rather horrific punishments for the asshole who had hurt his soulmate.