Chapter 26

CHAPTER 26

SEPTEMBER 10TH, 1666

T he infirmary of the Siren was dark but for the flickering lantern beside the door. Robin and Henri had claimed Old Joe's cabin next to the infirmary as their own, and the pair had long since retired, leaving Rowan to sit at Logan's bedside. Robin had wanted to stay up with his patient, but Rowan sent him to bed with assurances that he'd fetch him if anything changed.

In truth, Rowan knew he wouldn't be able to sleep tonight. He had too much on his mind, and he wanted to be by Logan's side when he woke, even if he had to wait all night. So he sat in silence in the near darkness thinking about how he'd gotten them all into this mess and what they would do next.

He looked down to where he clasped Logan's remaining hand between his own. He didn't know how long he'd been sitting there, but it was late, and exhaustion clung to him like cobwebs.

"Forgive me," he murmured. "I didn't mean to put you in danger."

"You didn't."

Rowan's head snapped up at the sound of Logan's groggy voice.

"You're awake! How are you feeling? Are you in pain? Can I get you anything?" Rowan knew he was talking a mile a minute, but he couldn't seem to stop himself. "I should get Robin."

Logan's hand tightened.

"Stay, please. "

"Sorry, just…does it hurt?"

Logan turned his head away, nestling his cheek against the pillow. Slowly, he raised his arm, ending in a bandaged stump at the wrist. His face showed almost no reaction, but a slow exhale seeped between his parted lips. Carefully, he rested the arm back on the cot and closed his eyes. Rowan remained silent, waiting. Logan's throat bobbed as he swallowed. Maybe the drugs Robin had given him were still in effect, blunting the impact. For this was not the reaction of a man who had just discovered he was missing a hand.

After a long while, Logan turned back to look at him.

"How did this happen?" Logan asked quietly.

"How much do you remember?"

Logan's brow furrowed. "I was doing inventory and John was there. We fought and then… I don't know. Did…did you apologize to me? I remember you saying sorry."

"There was an explosion. John said it was an accident, but he was following Yves's orders to sabotage the Siren so I would stay with him longer." He lowered his head, shame washing over him once again. "We had to amputate your hand. I-I'm so sorry Logan. All of this is my fault. I should never have trusted him."

"You were just going with your gut." Logan cracked a smile at the old joke. He never could stand to see his captain sad.

"My gut was wrong this time. After this, I don't think we can ever come back."

"But it was an accident, wasn't it? They never meant for me to get hurt, did they?"

"That's what they said, but?—"

"But he lied to you. He tried to make you stay when you didn't want to."

"You lost your hand. You could have died ."

"You think I don't understand that?" Logan raised his eyebrows, successfully cowing his captain.

After a moment of silence, Logan asked, "So we're leaving? Are we really never coming back?"

"I don't know. I told Yves I would think on it. I also told him I would let him apologize to you in person if you woke up before we left."

"Well? Send for him then."

A storm raged in the dark, yet within the protective arms of Illusion's cove, the wind did not howl and the rain did not sting. Both the ship and the island slept as dawn approached. Nevertheless, Yves came when called. He sat in the landing boat, back straight as Ga?l rowed them across the dark water. Standing at the rail, Rowan felt a sense of grim satisfaction that the Deep Water Demon had heeded his call despite the rain and the late hour, summoned in the dead of night like a real demon.

The boat drew up, bumping softly against the side of the Siren . Ga?l ascended the ladder first, followed by John, sporting a bruised jaw, then Yves himself.

"Captain." John nodded respectfully to Rowan. Yves remained silent. Neither of them seemed like they had gotten much sleep, if any.

"Logan's awake, and he'll hear your apology before we leave." Rowan's voice sounded extraordinarily cold even to his own ears. He turned his back on them and led them to the infirmary.

Logan was sitting up in bed with Robin by his side. They both looked tired, and Logan had a faint sheen of sweat on his brow. The drug had worn off. And the pain must have been overwhelming. Rowan stayed by the door as Yves and John approached.

John spoke first.

"I'm sorry, Logan." His usually stoic voice was laced with emotion, and he knelt at the side of the cot in contrition. "When you caught me, I shouldn't have fought. I shouldn't have been there in the first place."

To the surprise of everyone present, Logan reached out with his remaining hand and patted John on the head.

"I understand," Logan said. Though his voice was strained with dregs of pain, he was comforting the very man who'd hurt him. Rowan had always thought Logan was too sweet for the life of a pirate. And once again, Logan proved him right.

"You panicked and made a mistake. I never expected to come out of a life like this unscathed. I just hoped it would come from an enemy rather than a friend."

A friend? When had they become friends?

John nodded and stood .

"If we see each other again, I hope I can make it up to you." He turned to Yves. "I'll head back first."

Now it was Yves's turn. The tall captain looked down at the injured man. From his angle, Rowan couldn't see the expression on his face.

"It was my order that caused this, and I take the blame. My actions have hurt you and…" He turned his head slightly over his shoulder as if he wanted to look at Rowan. "Caused great distress to your crew. What I did was selfish and misguided, and I am sorry. Please allow me to pay reparations to you."

Logan's eyebrow quirked up. "If that's the case, consider Robin's indenture paid with my hand, and I would have your word that we will be allowed back to Illusion if we so choose."

"Logan, wait…" Robin began as if to stop him, but Logan silenced him with a look.

"He is free to go, and the Siren 's crew are welcome back at any time."

Logan nodded and slumped back against the pillows.

"He needs to rest now," Robin said. Both captains shuffled out of the room.

In the corridor, Rowan began to make his way up to the deck, but Yves caught his arm.

"Will you return if Logan wants it?" he asked.

"How can we return if I don't know where we are?" Rowan said coolly.

Yves seemed to be keeping his expression carefully blank, restraining whatever emotion he might have been feeling. His grip on Rowan's arm tightened ever so slightly, and he leaned close to Rowan's ear as if they might be overheard.

"I will tell you, and only you, the location of Illusion." Rowan's stomach flipped at Yves's closeness as the taller man whispered the coordinates in his ear. "If you return, wait on the eastern side of the island, and I will come to guide you h—" He'd surely been about to say "home" but stopped himself. "To guide you into the harbor," he amended.

Rowan tugged his arm from Yves's grip. "If we're done here, you should get back." He started down the hall again, but Yves didn't move.

They stared at each other for a moment. The tension in the air was palpable, and Rowan was as confused as ever about where Yves stood in his life now. He wanted Yves to leave him in peace to collect his thoughts. He wanted to go back to his old life and forget this ever happened.

But he wouldn't forget. And he couldn't go back.

"Rowan." Yves's tone was pleading, his usual confidence gone. Replaced with wariness. "Please. Will you allow me to kiss you goodbye?"

Rowan didn't know what he'd been expecting, but it certainly wasn't that.

"How could you ask that after what you've done?" he asked tiredly.

Yves's perfect lips quirked into a sad smile.

"Because I am a selfish man Rowan. Let me have this, and I will never ask you for anything else." But he'd asked for so much already. He took Rowan's hand gently and drew him close. Rowan's lips parted breathlessly, and Yves's eyes sparkled as if daring Rowan to resist his charms. His other hand came up to caress Rowan's cheek. Waiting, Rowan realized, for Rowan to say yes.

"You could have had me for three more days, if you hadn't done this. We could've had more time." He couldn't keep the anguish from his voice. His mind whirled with warring desires. He was still angry. He still wanted to be angry. And he hadn't forgiven Yves, even if Logan had. Rowan was a man who could hold a grudge till his dying breath but… "I'm selfish too."

Rowan rose on his toes and kissed Yves's waiting mouth. Their lips fit together as if they'd always belonged. But unlike the intense passion of their previous encounters, this kiss was soft. Gentle in a way Yves had never been with Rowan, maybe anyone, before.

Before he knew it, Rowan was swept up in it all, and they were stumbling through the door to his cabin. The room where it all began and would now end. He let Yves undress him slowly, reveling in the way Yves's elegant fingers caressed his bare skin. He expected this to be a quick fuck. A release for all his anger and tension. In the back of his mind, he wondered why he was doing this. Why he was giving in to Yves once again .

Yves was tender as he laid Rowan on the bed. He was never like this. There was a good reason he was called the Demon by seafarers and sexual partners alike. So what had gotten into him? Was this really all because Rowan was leaving?

He let Yves's mouth move over his skin slowly, feeling some of the tension, but not the anger, melt away at this familiar yet unfamiliar touch.

Yves took Rowan into his arms. Stroking. Caressing. Their naked bodies pressed together, and Yves's erection throbbed against his thigh. Yves captured Rowan's lips in a prolonged kiss, his touch delicate and almost worshipful. He was treating Rowan's body as something precious and dangerous, with the sort of reverent defiance pirates usually reserved for the sea.

Yves palmed Rowan's cock, his kisses moving down over the fluttering pulse in Rowan's throat. Rowan's hips bucked involuntarily into Yves's hand. Yves's mouth continued to caress his body, licking and sucking, eliciting small gasps.

Yves licked a bead of precum from Rowan's slit. Rowan's moan was almost a whimper as Yves drew his desperate cock into his mouth. Rowan threaded his fingers into Yves's dark silky hair. Yves hummed, his throat vibrating and constricting around Rowan's cock.

Gods, it felt good. Heaven itself could be found inside Yves's beautiful, deceptive mouth. Yves took him deeply. Effortlessly. His tongue flicked over the sensitive underside of Rowan's cock, and Rowan realized he was quickly speeding toward orgasm. Bliss twisted through his body and prickled across his skin. The soft interior of Yves's mouth cradled him in a cloud of euphoria. Yves bobbed his head quicker, taking Rowan in from tip to base with every stroke.

Rowan's control snapped, and he rolled his hips in time with Yves's rhythm. He was so close, fucking into Yves's yielding mouth. The storm outside thrashed through its last death throes as Rowan chased down his release. He didn't care what might come after.

A few more thrusts and he was coming hard down Yves's throat. He gripped the other man's hair tight, holding him with his lips pressed around the base of his cock. Nose nestled in his pubic hair as his cock throbbed out his orgasm.

Yves swallowed it all, waiting patiently for Rowan to release him and rubbing soothing circles into his thighs with his fingers.

Finally spent, the tension fled Rowan's body all at once and he released his hold on Yves's hair. Yves retreated slowly, taking his time. He crawled up to lay next to Rowan, gathering the smaller man into his arms and kissing him softly. The taste of Rowan's cum sat heavy on his tongue. Rowan could still feel Yves's erection pressing to his skin, strained and weeping. He expected Yves to take his own pleasure now. To open him up and fill him as exquisitely as he had earlier that day. But Yves made no move to do so. He just carried on kissing and caressing Rowan's body as if committing it to memory.

Neither of them had spoken a word since that first kiss in the hallway. Neither had broken the spell their bodies were weaving together. And finally Rowan realized this for what it was. A goodbye. A farewell in the only way Yves knew how. Spoken in action instead of words. The actions of a man who thought he'd never see his lover again.

He allowed Yves one more kiss. He savored it. In this moment, his anger didn't exist. In this moment, the hurt of the world was held at bay.

Then he broke the kiss and reality pushed its way through his post-orgasmic haze.

Yves's dark eyes roved over Rowan's expression, searching for meaning. For understanding. Desperate for one last look at him.

Then Yves's arms were no longer around him, and he felt the loss of him like a skipped heartbeat. He wanted to reach out and bring Yves back into his bed. His heart. But morning light was seeping through the spent clouds. The tide was turning, and he still could not forgive him.

Yves dressed without a word, and Rowan did not move to stop him. Yves looked back at him once from the open doorway. Then he was gone.

The Deep Water Demon met his former crew member Ga?l on the rain-slick deck of the Siren . Waiting to bring him back to shore.

"Ready to go?" Ga?l asked.

The Demon dragged Ga?l forward by the front of the shirt.

"Protect the Ghost Hawk with your life. You understand?" His eyes blazed with all the violence of an inferno. "If any harm comes to him, you will answer to me in hell. "

Ga?l's sharp jaw clenched. Then he slowly peeled the Demon's hands from his shirt.

"I no longer answer to you at all," he said calmly, "but I would never let my captain come to harm."

There was nothing more to say between them. Nothing more the Demon could do to protect the man he…he still could not think it. What use was that word when it was already lost?

He allowed himself to be rowed to shore. He stood on the end of the dock in the sunrise as his people gathered behind him to watch the Siren Song depart. The small figure of the Ghost Hawk appeared on deck as the Siren Song rode the tide to the mouth of the harbor and disappeared between the rocks.

John materialized at the Demon's side.

"Are you okay Captain?"

The Demon didn't turn to look at him. His gaze was trained on the passage to the open water, eyes reflecting the red sunrise.

"No," the Deep Water Demon replied. "It is time we returned to the sea."