Chapter Eighteen

I'd made a colossal ass out of myself not once but twice today.

Before I could do any more damage to myself and to Ansel and Edward, I'd run up to my room and tore off all the clothing I'd worn to that damned mountain. After turning on the hot water, I wrapped my arms around my torso and tried to hold myself and my tears in. Shifters had enhanced hearing, I'd heard, and I was going to do anything I could not to let them hear me fall apart.

I got in and it wasn't long before I sat on the marble floor of the shower and pulled my knees up to my chest. Hot water poured down from all eight showerheads, creating a boundary between me and the world.

What a fool I'd been. Crying and shaking at the top of that mountain like a pathetic, weak little girl.

Of course, Ansel and Edward had come to my rescue right away. Their presence put me at ease and scared the life out of me at the same time.

I'd known them only two days, and they'd shown me more love and protection than I'd known my whole life.

The hole that would be in my heart when they sent me away could never be filled by another person.

The connection to them came so naturally and with such ease it shook me to the core. From what I knew, love wasn't like that. It had to be earned and it shut off as easily as a light bulb. It ran hot and cold. It took you on an emotional roller coaster.

Ansel and Edward were nothing like that. They were steady and calm. There were no speed bumps but the ones I caused.

I'd ruined everything.

But that's what I set out to do, right? Push them away. Make them not want me around.

Benji was right. I'd created a wall around myself but also wanted someone to hold me and love me—but I'd made all of that impossible.

I'd never tell Benji he was right.

I forced myself out of the shower after washing the day from my skin and hair. I dressed in my most comfortable outfit since I was probably headed to the airport in the next few hours if not minutes.

But halfway down the stairs, I heard Ansel and Edward talking. And I heard my name.

I braced myself for my exit as my heart pounded between my temples.

"We have to give her time," Edward said. I would know their voices in a screaming crowd.

"She can have all the time in the world as long as she stays here. I won't be able to handle her leaving us, Ed."

My knees buckled. My ass landed on a stair but, thankfully, it didn't make much of a noise. I covered my mouth with my hand as tears built up in my eyes. They wanted me to stay? After that freak-out? After everything I'd done to push them away.

"We're going to beg if we have to," Edward answered with a strong resolve in his tone. My chest constricted hearing it.

I leaned on the banister for support. These two strong, intelligent, caring men were willing to beg me to stay?

"What she said in the car," Ansel stated. "Gods, no wonder she doesn't trust anyone. They have caused her some major damage. I already love her. I won't see any more pain come to her."

Edward growled. Growled like the grizzly bear he was inside. "We'll never let anyone hurt her again, that is, if she gives us another chance."

All of the shit I'd put them through, and they were wondering if I would give them another chance?

I forced my legs to work and made my way down the stairs and headed into the living room. My throat swelled as I tried to make words happen.

"You still want me?" I somehow choked out, though it sounded like a whine and ended with me breaking out into sobs.

Ansel got up from the couch and stopped right in front of me. "You're breaking my heart, female. Will you let me hold you?"

I nodded and melted into his embrace. He picked me up and held me close before returning to the couch where Edward pulled me onto his lap and brought me to rest against his chest. They let me cry for a while before I sat up and wiped away my tears.

"Look at me, Monroe." Ansel's voice tugged at my chest.

I met his gaze. "How can you want me to stay when all I've done is push you two away?"

"We don't see it that way. We see a strong and caring female who feels like she has to protect herself from others because the ones she trusted to love her didn't take care of her heart. I don't know half of what you've been through with your family and other men, but it's no wonder you have shut yourself off."

Edward took my chin in his hand and turned my face toward him. "We're going to be here as long as it takes for you to learn to trust us. We already love you. I know that's fast on human terms but it doesn't make it less true."

"But I freaked out," I said.

"So what? We have all freaked out and screamed and said things we didn't mean along the way. Actually, you were well in control."

"Sure. If you hadn't been there to help me, I'd still be there, frozen in place. And since it's cold up there, probably frozen to the stairs."

"Everyone has things that scare them. That's just life. You said a lot of good things too."

I scoffed. "Like what?"

Ansel took my hand. "You wouldn't be worried about having your heart broken if you weren't already invested, Monroe. We have waited a lifetime for you, and we're never going to do anything to jeopardize that. Will you stay with us? Let us prove ourselves to you."

"I'm scared," I admitted, leaning forward to rest against Edward's chest again. His heartbeat soothed me.

Ansel kissed my temple and then my cheek. "I know. It's okay to be scared. Sometimes fear is telling us that we're going in the right direction."

I shut my eyes tight, letting the last of the tears fall. "Okay," I whispered.

Ansel and Edward both breathed out sighs of relief. Edward hugged me tightly, and Ansel joined in. I felt safe in their arms. Protected. Secure. All the things I longed for were wrapped up in these two bears.