Chapter Thirty Noah

Though Danforth's broadcast had taken the heat off him a little, Noah knew the Resistance leaders hadn't forgotten about his error. No one had broached the subject of sending him back to Eremus. Not yet, anyway. But he suspected that a conversation was coming.

For the past two days, Robyn, Madeleine, and Blake had been locked in the office. Ella had told him the trio was trying to work out a way forward now that the leaflet campaign had failed. Noah noticed Ella was doing a superior job of fitting in at the library. The Resistance members trusted her, and she was included in more conversations than Noah.

Instead of actively working as a drudge, Robyn now had him sitting in the hub working his way through a stack of documents with Ella. Maps of the city, lists of the various workplaces, historical documents, the city's laws. Unlike Ella, who had been by turns fascinated and appalled, he had found it difficult to focus on the information.

After rereading the same section of one research paper three times, he tossed it on the desk in frustration.

Ella cocked her head to one side. "You still dwelling on the issue with the water yesterday?"

"Can't help it." He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. "They really don't trust me now. I feel like this," he gestured to the papers, "is my punishment."

"This sort of stuff is just as important as the practical tasks. It's important that we both know the city well."

"I know." He grimaced. "But I've been at it all day. At least you get to do a mixture of both."

It was true. Ella had been taken out into the city that morning, permitted to go shopping, run errands, speak to actual Bellator citizens, whilst he had been downgraded to reading endlessly dull documents with no end in sight.

He understood the reason why. Whilst they were both spies, Ella's role would be quite different. Other Bellator citizens would expect her to talk to them, exchange ideas, act as though she'd lived in the city her whole life. It was important that she prepare for it.

But he needed to prepare too.

"Sorry," he muttered. "But I'm so sick of just… sitting here."

"So I see." Ella pushed back her chair and stood up. "Come on then."

Noah looked up. "Come on where?"

"Let's get you some drudge practice." She gestured to his clothing. "You're still dressed for it."

It was true. He had dressed in the drudge tunic in the hopes that he would be allowed to use it. So far, he had been disappointed.

Ella disappeared inside the kitchen. When she emerged, she was holding two bags of rubbish. "I heard Robyn complaining that no one had taken these out at lunchtime. You do it."

"Without permission?" Noah glanced at the office door. "If they–"

"They'll be in there for hours." Ella waved his concern away. "It's exactly the kind of job a drudge would do." He hesitated. "If you do this well, they'll be pleased with you. They might start to believe in you again."

"But where do I–"

Ella handed the bags to him and beckoned for him to follow her. When she reached the door to the tunnel, he knew where she was heading.

"The tunnel comes out in that shop across the square." She opened the door. "The bins are in the alleyway just beside it. All you'll have to do is walk outside, keep the drudge posture, lift the lid of the bin and throw in the bags, then get back here. Simple!"

He felt a wave of nerves flood over him at the prospect. "Alright." He heard himself agree.

She shot him a nervous smile. "Good luck!"

The bags weren't heavy, but as he walked through the tunnel, Noah felt a trickle of sweat make its way down his spine. Ella was right. It was a small job. One which he felt he should be rehearsing, if they were ever going to use him. But the fact that his actions were unsanctioned by Madeleine made him wonder how sensible he was being.

At the end of the tunnel, he opened the door to the shop's cellar with no issue. Making his way through, he kept his head lowered and prayed he wouldn't meet anyone.

At the top of the stairs, he heard voices coming from his left. The shop was open and presumably filled with customers. Trying not to shudder, he turned right and headed out the door to the alleyway. It was a cold, grey day, the shadows telling him that darkness would soon fall.

The bins were straight ahead. Only a few more steps and he could complete the task and return to the relative safety of the hub. Suppressing the urge to run, he made his way across the space as he knew a drudge would. He lifted the lid of the first bin and heaved the bags inside.

It was already quite full, and he had to compress the existing rubbish to allow his load to fit inside. As he was struggling to close the lid, a wind whipped through the alleyway, lifting some of the bin's lighter contents and scattering them on the ground around him.

His heart racing, Noah bent to pick them up. The alleyway had been spotless when he'd arrived. He had to leave it the same way. But as he collected the papers, he realised they were leaflets. Hundreds of the Resistance leaflets, gathered and dumped. Madeleine was right, Danforth hadn't wasted any time getting rid of them.

He reached for the last one, desperate to get it back inside the bin before he was spotted. Before he could grasp it, the wind whispered through the alley again, whisking the errant paper farther from his grasp. Cursing under his breath, Noah darted after it, but it leapt away for a third time, like a child teasing him. This time, it landed behind the bin.

Wondering how the posture would be affected when a drudge was on all fours, Noah gritted his teeth and dove. At last, his hand closed around the piece of paper. But as he was about to stand up and get rid of the escapees for good, he heard the sound of the shop door opening and closing. Footsteps approached the alleyway.

"Can't be too careful." A strident female voice spoke. "Not with these rebels on the loose."

He tensed. Glancing back down the alleyway, he could see it led nowhere. Surely, the women were just exiting the shop and passing by on their way elsewhere? For now, he would stay where he was.

"Thank goodness the chancellor has acted so quickly." The woman continued, pausing at the end of the alleyway to chat to her companion. "I mean, can you imagine the danger we're in from the bastard males behind this?"

Noah reeled from the words. Clearly, the women of the city believed everything Danforth said. It was a slap in the face, after all the Resistance's hard work. He could understand why Madeleine was so downcast: their efforts to change the Bellator citizens' minds had failed. Not only that, the recent mission had risked the lives of several Resistance members.

The women were passing the end of the alleyway now. He crept closer, desperate to catch more of the conversation before they moved out of earshot.

"As for this Faith Hanlon girl…" The voice was dripping with disdain. "I hope they catch her soon."

Noah was beginning to despise the speaker. Did all Bellator females think like this? Finally, her companion managed to get a word in.

"Poor thing." This voice was softer and lower in pitch. "I wonder what they've done to brainwash her."

"Brainwash?" The first woman scoffed. "I heard a rumour that she went willingly. You know, one of those rebel types…" She let the thought dangle. "I'm not sure she deserves rehabilitation."

"Really?" The softer-voiced woman sounded more sympathetic. "You don't think she could have been manipulated by the men in the forest? She's sixteen." There was a pause. When the strident voice did not respond, Noah could feel her disapproval. Eventually, the woman went on. "But yes, of course, it's worrying. I hope they catch her soon."

Noah couldn't help but feel she had changed her attitude as a result of the first woman's criticism. Being different was difficult. And fear was a powerful thing.

"With every eye in the city looking out for her?" Strident-voice laughed, apparently appeased by the other woman's acquiescence. "Danforth will have her before the week is out. Now I must go. I've a busy day tomorrow."

The women bid their goodbyes and headed off in different directions. It was several minutes before Noah dared to stand up again. Disposing of the leaflets in the bin, he quickly crossed the alleyway and made his way back to the library through the tunnel. Ella was waiting where he had left her.

"Alright?"

He closed the door and headed back to her. "Well, I didn't get caught, if that's what you mean."

"Then what?" she puzzled. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

By the time he had finished telling her about what he'd heard, her face was as serious as his.

"I guess we have to try something else to show the Bellator women."

"But what?"

"I don't know." She shot a glance at the closed office door. "And the length of time they've been in there, well, I'm not sure they do either. But we can't give up now."

As though summoned by their gaze, the door to the office burst open. Robyn strode into the hub, her eyes fixed on Ella.

"Would you come in here please?" She looked more positive than she had all day. "We have news of a possible placement for you.

"Already?" Ella's eyes widened. "How?"

"We have a Resistance member working in the office which assigns government jobs to citizens. Let's just say she's very good at assigning Resistance sympathisers useful roles in places where Madeleine wants them." She turned back to Ella.

"Where will she be working?" Noah asked, then wondered if he should have kept his mouth shut.

But Robyn didn't seem to mind. "The position is in the main government building, Matriarch House. There's been some sickness recently. It's knocked out quite a few of their staff. They need people in their catering section to assist with food preparation, service, and so on." Catching sight of Ella's expression, she softened slightly. "Nothing you can't handle. More importantly, you'll be close enough to Danforth to maybe get your hands on some vital information."

"But where will I sta–" Ella began, but Robyn waved a hand at her.

"That's what Madeleine wants to go through with you. If you'll come and speak to her now, she'll explain everything."

When Ella had disappeared inside the office, Noah turned back to the papers on the table in front of him. But before he could start reading again, there was a noise at the far side of the hub. He glanced up, disappointed to see Diane. When she made a beeline for him, he tensed.

"She's in the library, if you were wondering. Alone."

Noah frowned. "Sorry?"

"Faith." Diane raised her eyebrows.

"Did she say she wanted me to go up there?"

"No." She rolled her eyes. "But she does."

As he entered the library, Noah glanced around, marvelling once again at the magnificent room.

As it had earlier, the scent of the ancient texts washed over him. He could never have imagined so many books in one place. He thought about his ma. Had she ever been here? In the time before she ran away to the forest, had she visited this place? She was a huge lover of books, and the lack of them in Eremus had always been hard on her.

He followed the faint glow of a lamp which led him to a room at the rear of the library. Faith was sitting at a desk, her head bent over a record book of some kind. Unsure whether to call her name or simply approach and let his footsteps announce his presence, Noah paused on the threshold, watching her.

A strand of hair had escaped her ponytail and lay against her cheek. Her brow was furrowed in thought as she ran a finger down the page. She shifted her attention to a second book, glancing between the two, making comparisons. Seemingly frustrated, she brought a hand to her mouth and chewed on a nail.

What was she thinking about?

He was just about to call out to her when she sat up and looked right at him.

"Noah?" She stood up suddenly, one of the volumes slipping out of her hand and falling to the floor. "What are you–?"

He was at her side in seconds. Stooping down, he rescued the dropped book. When he came back up, she was staring at him.

"Diane said…"

"She sent you up here?"

"Yeah."

He held the book out to her. As she took it from him, their fingers brushed against one another. He felt a familiar jolt of electricity and held on to the book, their fingers remaining in contact.

"She knew I needed to be with you." Faith blushed. "Better than I did myself." She paused. "I think she's trying to make up for the other day. When she–"

She broke off, but Noah knew what she was talking about. "I know she didn't mean to get me into trouble. And I should've been more prepared for…" Now it was his turn to blush. "You have that effect on me. I know it. I shouldn't have let it throw me off the way it did."

Breaking their contact, Faith replaced the book on the desk. Then she turned back, reaching for his hand again. "You have the same effect on me."

He stepped closer. "I'm glad I'm here, despite the disaster the other day." He knew as he spoke the words, they were true. "I wanted to join the Resistance. To play my part. To change things." Gently, he circled his arms around her, revelling in the closeness of her body. "But I needed to be with you too."

He felt her relax against him. For a moment they stood there, unmoving. The peace of the library enveloped them. It was bliss, he realised, to be alone with her. To have no one questioning their being together. But it wouldn't last.

When he felt her shiver, he pulled away. "What is it?"

"We came here to make a difference. But our problems seem… insurmountable right now. Sophia's still in the hospital, and we have no way of getting to her. Kemp has been tortured once already – who knows if they'll go back a second time… Now Danforth has Laura, and you might be sent out into the city at any moment…" Jerking away from him, she slammed a fist into her palm. "Everyone I care about is putting themselves in harm's way and I don't seem to be able to do a damn thing to protect them. The one thing Madeleine wanted me to do seems to have had no effect at all."

"You mean the leaflet?" Noah glanced down, not wanting her to catch him in a lie. "I'm sure it's had some impact."

But she wasn't looking at him.

"I doubt it. And now Danforth's declared me public enemy number one, Madeleine's never going to let me out." Faith slumped back into her seat at the table. "I feel so useless! I came back here to rescue Sophia. Everyone talks about sacrificing the needs of the individual for the good of the cause, but I can't help feeling like I'm failing my friend." She brought her hand to her mouth. "Noah, if you could see her… She's not herself. She's clearly suffering. I have to convince Madeleine that Sophia's worth rescuing. But I'm no closer to doing that than when I was stuck in a cave in Eremus."

"I guess you'll have to convince Madeleine you can support the cause in another way." Noah's heart went out to her. He gestured to the books. "What's all this?"

She followed his gaze. "I was doing a little research. Ruth told you about Danforth being Avery's mother?" He nodded. "Well, this is where I found that information. I've been looking over the records ever since."

"What for?"

"Firstly, I wanted to work out if there were any biological connections between myself and the people close to me. You know – Sophia or Diane or Helen…" She flushed. "Or you."

"Woah." Noah glanced down at the columns of information. "I'm in there?"

"You are. Took a bit of finding, but you're definitely there. Not too much information about you, for obvious reasons."

And I'm not–" Noah's heart started beating a little faster. "I mean, we're not–"

"No. Our seed donors definitely had different codes." Her cheeks flushed. "We don't share a father."

He met her gaze. "Well, that's a relief."

"Yes." She looked away. "See here?" She pointed at a column on one of the charts. "The codes indicate the specimen that the seed sample was taken from. So, the father, I suppose, in Eremus terms, at least."

"Is there any indication who these men were?" Noah asked, leaning closer. "Or are they considered so worthless that they don't deserve an identity?"

"I've been looking, but I haven't found anything so far." Faith flipped through the book's pages idly. "They're dead now, though, so I suppose it doesn't really matter."

"I guess not." Noah shrugged, wondering why he cared. "Not tothe Bellator women, anyway."

Catching the bitterness in his tone, she turned. "Don't be like that. I didn't mean–"

"I know."

Not wanting to take his anger out on the wrong person, he moved away from the table, striding to the side of the room which had a window overlooking the street. Faith cared who her father was, or she wouldn't have been up here pouring over the books. But how many of the other Bellator citizens would care? How long would it take them to change the minds of women who'd had it drilled into them that men didn't matter, that men were evil, that men were scum? He thought back to the conversation he'd overheard on the street. The women of Bellator truly did hate and fear all men.

A comfortable-looking sofa lay underneath the window, facing outwards. He ran a finger along the arm, revelling in its softness. He'd never known furniture like this. In Eremus, everything was practical, functional. But here, it was comfortable, even beautiful. And most of the women didn't even appreciate it. The idea of having the time, space, and security to sit here and read a book filled him with an overwhelming sense of envy.

He glanced out of the window, trying to regain the calm he'd felt only minutes before. Outside, the street was empty. The thought of it filled with people, both male and female, all with the same rights, the same opportunities, the same fears and hopes and dreams, seemed impossible. Were they totally na?ve to imagine it could happen?

A movement to his left startled him, and he turned to see Faith at his side. Shoeless, she had moved stealthily, appearing beside him like a mirage.

"Careful," she murmured. "There are regular patrols. The library's supposed to be empty at night. If anyone saw you–"

She stopped speaking as they both spotted the pair of guards at the same time. Approaching from the opposite side of the square, they walked in silence, their gaze roaming from side to side like a pair of prowling tigers.

Panic seized Noah. Grasping hold of Faith's arm, he pulled her down onto the sofa, out of the guards' line of sight. She landed awkwardly on top of him, the air rushing out of her lungs. Clutching his shoulders, she braced herself as though she thought she would fall. Once again, he pulled her close to prevent her from tumbling onto the floor.

For several seconds, they lay together, panting.

"Think they saw us?" Faith's chest rumbled against his as she whispered the words.

He shook his head. "We're okay."

Faith shifted so she lay more comfortably along the inside of the sofa. Relaxing his arms slightly, Noah became aware of how close their bodies were now that the danger was over. From shoulder to hip they aligned, and he could feel every breath she took.

He thought of Ella's new assignment. His own could happen just as quickly. Or he could be sent back to Eremus. There might not be many more chances to be with Faith like this, alone, again.

Bending close, he pressed his lips to hers.