8. Holly

8

HOLLY

H olly pushed open the door to the gym, the scent of fresh sweat and determination hitting her as she walked in. It was early, but the gym was already buzzing with activity. She couldn’t believe how many people woke up this early to work out. She guessed it had much to do with living in one of the hippest neighborhoods in L.A. She needed this time to herself, so she felt slightly disappointed when she first saw the crowd. A hard workout would do her a world of good. She needed to clear her mind and push away the whirlwind of emotions that had been tearing at her since her mother had walked in on her and Deborah.

As she made her way to the weight section, she spotted Cam. She didn’t know Cam all that well but had chatted with her a few times down at the Indigo Lounge. Cam was in the middle of a set, her muscles rippling under the strain. Holly admired Cam’s dedication and discipline and crossed her fingers that if she worked hard, she might look half as ripped in a couple of months. She approached, waiting until Cam finished her last rep.

“Hey there, Cam,” Holly said, trying to sound casual, although if she was honest with herself, she felt slightly intimidated by the gym bunny.

Cam set the weights down and turned to Holly, a playful grin spreading across her face. “Well, well, if it isn’t Ms. Holly Morgan! What brings you here so early?”

“Huh? Oh, I get it. So, you know about me and Deborah. Very funny. You’re a real card, Cam.”

“Sorry. What is your name anyway? Bloom? Did your mom change her name when she got married? Why don’t I know that already? Nah, she’s too much of a feminist, right? I can’t see our Esme Bloom as an Esme Hartley. Although the name Hartley could get you a long way in this town, let me tell you. You should change your name. Holly Hartley. It has a nice ring to it.”

“Are you fucking high or something? Why would I take Nora’s name? She married my mom, is all. She didn’t fucking adopt me.”

“Well, she can adopt me anytime she likes,” Cam laughed. “You’re lucky. I’d love a stepmom like that one. The things I’d do to her. Stepmom action has always been my go-to on Lezhub, you know?”

“Eww. Gross. What the fuck, Cam?”

“Come on! I know you’re into it! Deborah? Seriously? What, she must be like 30… 40 years older than you, right?”

Holly sighed, running a hand through her hair. “Listen up. I don’t have time for this. I came here because I needed to clear my head. It’s been a rough few days.”

Cam raised an eyebrow. “Oh? Do tell. Debs likes it rough, does she? I can’t remember. I don’t think we’ve banged. I can’t be too sure, though. Some nights down at the Indigo can get pretty wild. I wake up with memory gaps.”

“You haven’t banged.”

“Okay. Fair enough.”

Holly hesitated for a moment before diving in. Cam was annoying, yet likeable. “You must know my mom caught us in the act, right? Well, we’d just finished, but still… ”

Cam’s eyes widened slightly, but she quickly masked her surprise. “Lucky you! I can picture your mom’s face! Fuck me! Imagine if she walked in when you were elbow-deep in her BFF. Anyway, go on.”

Holly took a deep breath and explained everything—the start of her relationship with Deborah, how the affair had become more than just a couple of hook-ups, the confrontation with her mother, and the tangled mess of emotions she was now dealing with. Cam listened intently, her expression softening with understanding.

“Wow, Holly. That’s kind of a lot, right? And I can tell you’re not dealing,” Cam said when Holly finished. She leaned in a little closer, a mischievous glint in her eye. “You know, I’m always here if you ever need to talk more. Or, you know, we could take this to the showers and continue our conversation there.”

Holly’s jaw dropped in shock, and she vigorously shook her head. “Cam, do you just go about our business all day flirting with everyone you meet?”

Cam grinned. “Guilty as charged. But seriously, I know you’ve only been back in the States recently, so if you need a friend, I could be there for you. Just platonically. I hear you. You’re falling head-over-heels in love with Ms. Debs, who, I have to admit, is quite the hottie, so I don’t blame you. She has the ass of a goddess.”

“That’s enough, Cam. Drop it.”

“Sorry. I’m always on the campaign trail, you see?”

“Really? You’re in politics?”

“I’m single-handedly trying to MAQA.”

“And that means what exactly?”

“Make American Queer Again. Okay, so it never was, but I won’t let that get in the way of a good joke, right?”

“It wasn’t that great a joke.”

“I think you’re just on a downer. You’re ruining my vibe, Hols. I pick up a lot of women at this gym. So push off, would you? I’ll catch you at the bar later. Or my offer still stands for the shower because I’m not the type to hold a grudge.”

Holly politely declined. “I’ll pass on the shower chat. Besides, this place has individual cubicles. It’s an expensive gym, remember?”

Cam laughed. “Alright, keep it real, Holly. Just know you’re not alone. If you don’t want to hang out, you’ll find plenty of people to talk to down at Indigo. Don’t be a stranger, right? ”

Holly felt a bit lighter after talking to Cam. She also could see that Cam’s flirty, confident bravado was all just a front covering up some deep, underlying insecurities.

She got in her workout, pushing her body until her muscles burned and her mind was blank. But the clarity was fleeting. As soon as she left the gym, the weight of the situation crashed back down on her.

Back at her apartment, Holly decided to cook herself a meal, hoping the familiar routine would offer some comfort. She chopped vegetables with practiced precision, her mind wandering back to Deborah with every swipe of the blade. The pain in Deborah’s eyes and her fear and vulnerability haunted Holly.

As she moved a pan of oil to the stove, a sudden searing pain shot through her hand. She had misjudged and touched the hot pan. She hissed, pulling her hand back and running it under cold water. The pain was sharp and immediate, a blatant contrast to the inner turmoil she had been feeling.

And in that moment, she realized something. Physical pain was straightforward. It hurt, but it was easy to understand and easy to manage. At worst, you took a trip to the hospital, right? Emotional pain, though, was a whole different story. She had lived a relatively easy life, shielded from deep emotional suffering. Her mom had always taken great care of her. But Deborah—Deborah had been through hell. Her divorce, the public scrutiny, the betrayal—those scars were sure to run deep, and all Holly was doing was adding to that suffering.

I’m such a shit. Why can’t I leave the woman alone? Maybe I’ve pushed her too hard?

Feeling a surge of determination, Holly knew she had to make things right. She needed to show Deborah that she understood and was willing to help her face her fears and insecurities.

Just then, her phone beeped. It was a Whatsup message from her mom.

CALL ME.

Jeez? Capitals? Boomer much? Holly thought to herself.

She decided it was better to call her than face her mother’s wrath later.

“Hi, Mom. How are things? You wanted me to call. Is it something urgent?”

Esme’s voice was thick with emotion. “Holly, honey, I’m so glad you called back so quickly. Thank you. It’s… it’s Nora. We had a huge fight. I’m talking HUGE. This never happens to us. Well, hardly ever, right? I can’t remember the last time we fought. She’s not like that. We only just got married. What hope do we have if we’re having huge fights this soon? Isn’t this supposed to be our honeymoon period? She hasn’t even got time to go on a honeymoon—but here she is, plenty of time to come at me now! It’s unbelievable.”

Holly’s heart sank. “What happened exactly? Slow down, Mom. You’re talking at a gazillion miles an hour right now.”

“It’s about you and Deborah,” Esme said, her voice breaking. “Nora is worried about how it might affect her business. There have been some funny calls from her clients this morning, and… she thinks your relationship might be the cause of it.”

Holly clenched her fist, trying to keep her anger in check. “Mom, that’s ridiculous. There’s just no way that can be true. You only found out about us yesterday. Our relationship has nothing to do with Nora’s business. How would her clients even know?”

“I have no idea.”

“I think you do. I mean, Cam knew. I bumped into her at the gym this morning. It’s a great place, by the way. Thanks for the membership, Mom. Anyway, this Cam chick knew all about me and Deborah. How come?”

“I know, sweetheart. I was crying on the yacht last night. I was in shock. You have to understand, baby. People overheard me, and you know how these things spread like wildfire. But Nora… She’s been under a lot of stress, and it all came out tonight. She said some awful things, and I-I couldn’t take it.”

Holly could hear the tears in her mother’s voice, and it broke her heart. “Mom, I’m so sorry. This is all so unfair to you. None of this is your fault. Maybe I’ve been selfish. It must have come as a shock to you last night. I’m sorry if I was rude. I can be impulsive sometimes. And rude.”

Esme sniffled. “I just don’t know what to do, Holly. I love you, and I want you to be happy. But Nora… she’s my wife, and I must also consider her feelings. She was furious.”

“At the same time, Mom… I can’t help who I develop feelings for. I didn’t mean for Nora to get caught up in all this. Didn’t she have a thought for me? I’m her wife’s daughter. I might be falling in love. Seriously, Mom, how many millions—bi llions—will be enough for that woman? I’m seeing huge red flags here.”

Holly took a deep breath. “Mom, you have to stand up for what’s right. Our relationship isn’t something to be ashamed of. Deborah and I are really into each other, and we deserve to be happy. Nora may need to rethink her priorities if she can’t accept that. She’s part of this family now and should know better.”

Esme was silent for a moment. “You’re right, Holly. I know you’re right. It’s just so hard.”

“I know, Mom. But you guys will work it out. I know it. Was this over the phone?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, you’ll just have to wait until she gets home tonight and talk it through over dinner. It’ll be fine.”

Esme sighed. “I hope so, honey. I do.”

Holly felt a surge of protective anger. “Mom, you have to take care of yourself too. Don’t let Nora’s stress become a burden you have to carry. I get the impression she puts her job first sometimes.”

“I guess that’s true. But then, so do I.”

“Sure. But my relationship, whoever I choose to be with, shouldn’t be the cause of such pain. ”

“I’ll try to calm her down, Holly,” Esme muttered quietly. “I’ll talk to her again. But she can be such a stubborn piece of work.”

“Yes, I know,” Holly said. “But remember, family comes first—always.”

“But you just said she was family.”

“Technically, yes. But she needs to start acting like it.”

“I guess so, sweetheart,” Esme whispered. “You know I want you to be happy. This came out of the blue, honey. I think we’re all having a hard time dealing with it.”

“I know, Mom. And I want you to be happy too. Let’s find a way to figure it out.”

Esme’s voice was a mix of relief and lingering worry. “Okay, Holly. I’ll talk to you later. I love you.”

Holly decided to make her way to Deborah’s apartment later that evening, her heart pounding with anticipation and anxiety. Deborah answered the door, looking surprised but not unwelcoming.

“Holly,” Deborah said softly. “What are you doing here? Did we have plans? I’ve been so stressed; I must have forgotten. You’ll never believe what happened to me today. My PA, my personal fucking assistant, called me a cradle snatcher. A cradle snatcher! At least, I think that’s what she said. She was supposed to be getting coffee for everyone in the meeting. She was taking orders, and I swear I heard her whisper it under her breath just as she walked past my chair. Now, I know she’s good friends with Ruby. I don’t think you know Ruby. Maybe you do. She’s always down at the Indigo, sitting with the same espresso for hours on end. She’s a writer. Or a wannabe writer. Or something. Actually, I really like her. Or I liked her, at least. But she’s good friends with Mel, my assistant. I don’t know why they’re friends. They have zilch in common. Mel’s all about hair and makeup. I swear to God, I’ve caught her on that TokTok thing the youngsters are all on so many times; it’s unreal. Anyway, I’m pretty sure she must have been talking because?—”

“God, Deborah! Listen to yourself! You’re actually ranting right now. Do you hear yourself? You sound like my mom. Is that what they taught you at that college of yours? Were you on the debate team? I bet once you start, you don’t stop monologuing for, like, 40 minutes, and it’s fucking nuts! Also, it’s TikTok. How can you not know that? Aren’t you, like, in charge of the fucking Internet or something?”

“I’m so sorry. No, just a streaming service. I don’t have much to do with the Internet.”

Although she tried to hold it in, Holly couldn’t help but laugh. “I came here because I needed to see you,” Holly replied. “Can we talk?”

Deborah nodded and led Holly to the kitchen. As Deborah began making coffee, Holly sat at the table, gathering her thoughts.

“I’m sorry,” Holly started, her voice trembling slightly. “I didn’t really understand what you were going through. I was so caught up in my own feelings that I didn’t see how much pain you were in. I can be a bit spoiled sometimes. It’s something I need to work on.”

Deborah paused, her back to Holly as she prepared the coffee. “It’s not easy for me, Holly. I’ve been hurt so badly before. I don’t know if I can go through that again.”

Holly’s heart ached to hear the pain in Deborah’s voice. “I know. I can’t pretend to understand fully, but I want to. I want to be there for you, to help you overcome this.”

Deborah turned with two cups of coffee in her hands. She set one in front of Holly and sat down across from her. “It’s just... I’m terrified. The public scrutiny, the judgment—it’s overwhelming.”

Holly reached across the table, taking Deborah’s hand. “You don’t have to face it alone. Listen, my mom’s upset, too. She had a huge fight with Nora about us. It’s a mess.”

Deborah looked down at their joined hands, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “Holly, I don’t want to lose you, but I’m so scared. Our relationship already seems to be causing ripples all over the place. I want you so badly. I think about you day and night. All I want to do is spend time with you and learn everything there is to know about you. But look at what’s happening already!”

Holly squeezed her hand gently. “You won’t lose me. I’m not going anywhere. You’re strong, Deborah. You’ve been through so much, and you’ve come out the other side. What’s a little gossip, right?”

Deborah’s lips trembled as she spoke. “I don’t want to lose my friends, my support system. The people at work—they’re just colleagues. That Mel has never been on my side. She’s got such a bug up her ass. I don’t know what’s wrong with her. But Esme, the Indigo gang—they all mean so much to me.”

“I so get that,” Holly said softly. “I’ve got an amazing group of friends from Australia I’m still in touch with. And I would never want to come between you and your friends. But I believe in us. I believe we can make it work without losing the people we care about.”

Deborah took a deep breath, her eyes searching Holly’s. “The fear of being judged, of being talked about... it’s crippling.”

Holly nodded. “I know. But we can’t let fear control our lives. We have to fight for what we want, for who we want to love.”