13. Deborah

13

DEBORAH

D eborah woke to the sound of rain pattering softly against her bedroom window. The gray light of dawn filtered through the thin curtains, casting a somber hue over her room.

God! What a miserable start to the day.

She lay still for a moment, listening to the rain and the steady beat of her heart. She couldn’t summon the strength to get out of bed. Today was the day she would go visit Daniel. It had been too long since they had talked, really talked, about everything that had happened. She needed to see him, to find some clarity and perhaps some solace. She hadn’t told him she’d be showing up, but seeing as he never answered her calls, she couldn’t see what choice she had.

She packed a small suitcase, choosing comfortable clothes for her stay on Daniel’s farm. As she zipped it shut, she felt a mix of apprehension and determination. This visit was long overdue.

The drive to Daniel’s farm took a few hours, giving Deborah plenty of time to be alone with her thoughts. The countryside unfurled around her, lush and green with the vibrancy of summer.

Well, this is nice. The weather out here is so much better than in the city.

The air was fragrant with the scent of fresh rain on earth, a soothing balm to her anxious mind. It was one of her favorite smells. She rolled down the windows to let the cool breeze in, its freshness mingling with the subtle scent of wildflowers and freshly cut grass.

When she finally turned into the gravel driveway of the farm, she felt a deep sense of relief. The old farmhouse stood proud and welcoming, surrounded by fields of golden wheat swaying gently in the breeze.

God, it’s been so long.

The sight brought back memories of childhood visits, filled with laughter and the simple joys of rural life. This used to be their parents’ house, and Daniel bought it from them when he got married.

Daniel happened to be outside on the porch as she pulled up. He did a double take as she waved at him through the glass. As he smiled back and started to make his way to her car, she felt giddy with excitement. As she stepped out of the vehicle, he enveloped her in a warm hug. His plaid shirt smelled faintly of hay and sunshine. She thought it was so comforting and grounding.

“It’s so good to see you, Deb. I can’t believe you’re actually here,” he said, his voice thick with emotion.

“You too, Danny,” she replied, feeling a lump form in her throat. “It’s been too long. Why do we do these things to each other, huh?”

“Well, you’re here now and that’s what matters. You need some country life every now and then. It’s good for the mind.”

“You got that right,” Deborah smirked as she readied herself for the stay.

They spent the afternoon catching up, walking around the farm as they talked. Despite how she thought things would go, their reunion didn’t feel the least bit awkward. The sun was high in the sky, casting a warmth over Deborah’s skin. Daniel showed her the improvements he had made: a new barn painted a crisp red, a chicken coop bustling with life, and a vegetable garden bursting with color. The air was rich with the scent of fresh produce and the earthy aroma of tilled soil. Inside, the rooms he had set up for his kids were a testament to his devotion to them. Each room was lovingly decorated, filled with toys, books, and all the little things that made a house feel like a home. The walls were adorned with drawings and paintings, a gallery of their innocence and creativity. She was proud of what her brother had achieved.

After a dinner of pork and baked potatoes, they sat on the porch, sipping hot coffee. It was never too late for hot coffee, but Deborah knew it was time to broach the complex subject they had both been avoiding so far.

“Danny,” she began in a gentle voice, “we need to talk about what happened. About Jenny and Hailey.”

Daniel’s expression grew serious. “I know. It’s been hanging over us like a dark cloud all day, right?”

Deborah took a deep breath, the cool air filling her lungs and giving her the strength to continue what she knew would be a difficult conversation. “I’ve been carrying this guilt and shame for so long. When Jenny ran off with Hailey, it felt like my whole world collapsed. And seeing you in such turmoil—you and the kids—it totally broke me, Danny.”

Daniel grabbed for his sister’s hand, his grip firm and reassuring. “None of it was your fault, Debbie. What they did was cruel and selfish, and God only knows how they live with themselves. But we survived, didn’t we? We’re still here. We’re doing just fine. I know it’s awkward and weird, I know I’m not good at talking about my feelings, but I will try.”

Deborah felt tears welling up in her eyes, the salty liquid stinging her cheeks. “I’ve tried so hard to protect myself. But I still feel as if what happened is eating me alive.”

Daniel squeezed her hand. “It was a lot. I think if you hadn’t had such a high-profile job, we could have just got on with life. Weren’t you going to be a hairdresser at one point, Deb? Did you have to go off being the Queen of L.A.?”

She laughed. “I’m not exactly the Queen . Maybe a princess. But yeah, when your wife runs off with your little brother’s wife, it makes for a great story. Especially with kids involved. That hairdresser thing might not have been such a bad idea, come to think of it.”

They sat in silence for a while, the weight of their shared pain hanging in the air like a thick fog. The crickets began their evening symphony.

Finally, Daniel spoke again, his tone lighter. “I’ve met someone new,” he said, a hint of a smile playing at the corners of his mouth.

Deborah looked at him in surprise. “Really? Well now you’re going to have to tell me everything. And don’t miss out on any details!”

“Her name’s Emily,” Daniel said, his smile widening. “She’s a vet, and she moved to the area a few months ago. She’s kind, strong, and she’s really made me feel alive again. I forgot how to be happy until I met her.”

Deborah felt a surge of happiness for her brother. “I couldn’t be more excited about this, Danny. You deserve to be happy.”

“And you do too, Deb,” he replied, meeting his sister’s eye. “What about you? Have you met someone? You can’t let that fucked-up mess ruin your world forever, big sis.”

Deborah hesitated for a moment before speaking. “Yes, I have. Holly. She’s... She’s amazing, Danny. She’s really brought me out of myself and made me feel things I thought I’d never feel again.”

Daniel smiled. “She sounds wonderful. When do I get to meet her?”

Deborah’s smile faltered. “There’s a problem. Well, there are a few problems. The first is that she’s my best friend’s daughter, she is twenty-five?—”

“Jesus, Debbie!”

“And Jenny found out about her and has been threatening me. I was so scared of what she might do, I pushed Holly away. I broke up with her. Jenny ruining my life once more. History repeating itself.”

Daniel’s expression hardened, his jaw tightening. “We’ll come to the Esme bit in a minute. The bigger issue here is Jen. She has no right to control your life, Deb. You need to stand up to her. We can’t let her bully us both for the rest of our goddam lives. Life is too short.”

Deborah felt a surge of determination, a fire igniting in her chest. “You’re right. I’ve been letting my fear control me. But how can I just let it all be? She really fucked me up.”

“I know, but you need to work through it. I got a therapist and did a lot of work. You need to let go, Sis. So, what did Esme have to say about it all? I heard she married her girlfriend. That’s nice. Please pass on my congratulations. Or does she not talk to you anymore, seeing as you seduced her offspring like the dirty old wench you are.”

“Danny!” Deborah chastised. “You’re unbelievable!”

Daniel laughed with his sister, his eyes shiny and resolved. “We’ll face this together.”

“Abso-frickin-lutely. And I’ll help you get better access to your kids. You are right. It’s time to fight back. I do need to let go, and I do need your support too.”

“I’m right there for ya,” he smiled, reaching out to grab their empty cups.

“Thank you. You’ll never know how much this means to me, Daniel.”

“Trust me, I do.”

Deborah felt a weight lift from her shoulders. For the first time in a long time, she felt hopeful. She was not alone in this battle. She had her brother, her love for Holly, and the support of her friends. It didn’t seem possible, but now the sense of impending doom was starting to lighten, and she knew she had to find a way through.

The next day, Daniel introduced her to Emily. She was a warm, down-to-earth woman with a quick smile and a genuine interest in Deborah’s life. Emily’s presence was calming, and Deborah felt an instant connection with her. They spent the day together, talking and laughing, and by the end of it, Deborah felt like she had made a new friend.

Emily showed Deborah around the clinic where she worked. The clean, antiseptic smell mingled with the distinct scent of animals, creating an atmosphere of care and dedication. They walked through the kennels, where dogs wagged their tails and cats purred contentedly, and Deborah could see why Daniel had fallen for her. Emily was compassionate and strong, just the opposite of Hailey, whom Deborah had always found to be cold and aloof.

That evening, as they sat around the dinner table, Deborah opened up about her relationship with Holly. She described the way Holly made her feel, the joy and the love that had blossomed between them. She also shared her fears and the threats from Jenny, her voice trembling slightly as she spoke .

Emily listened intently throughout. “You deserve to be happy, Deborah. Don’t let anyone take that away from you. You’re a strong, capable woman. You have the power to fight for what you love. Dan talked to me about what happened, and I don’t know how you both got through it. I’ve been asking him to invite you and your friends up for months. They sound like a real hoot.”

“Emily’s right,” Daniel nodded in agreement. “You have amazing connections, Deb. Your friends at the Indigo are incredible women. I’m sure you can lean on them for support. And Holly sounds like she’s worth fighting for. And listen, sis, I’m so sorry for the radio silence. I don’t know what went down. I feel bad.”

Deborah felt a surge of gratitude for their support, her heart swelling with warmth. “Please, Danny,” Deborah replied, feeling a surge of appreciation for the support of Danny and his new girlfriend. “Thanks for reminding me that I know how to be brave.”

The next day, as she prepared to leave, Daniel pulled her close to him, his arms solid and comforting. “You’ve got this, Deb. Don’t let Jenny or anyone else dim your light.”

Deborah smiled, feeling stronger than she had in years. “Thank you, Danny. I’ll fight for Holly, for us, for the kids. I won’t let her win.”

Driving back to the city, Deborah felt a renewed sense of purpose. She was determined to win Holly back, to show her the depth of her love and commitment. She realized she wanted to plan a grand, romantic gesture, something that would demonstrate her unwavering devotion.

She thought about the places that meant the most to them, the moments they had shared. She envisioned a night filled with romance, a testament to her love and her determination to fight for their future together.

But will Holly even listen to me? Will she even care?

Back in her apartment, she sat down and started writing a letter to Holly. She poured her heart into it, expressing her love, her fears, and her hopes for their future. She told Holly about her visit to the farm, her conversations with Daniel and Emily, and her realization that she needed to fight for their love.

The following morning, she mailed the letter and headed over to the office, where she spent the best part of the morning on the phone with her friends from the Indigo despite a whole host of looming work deadlines.

Over the next few days, Deborah threw herself into her work. Her heart wasn’t in it, though. She hadn’t heard back from Holly, and it was all she could think about. She looked at her cell every five minutes, the feeling of panic and desperation rising in her chest with every passing hour.

Every time her phone vibrated, it sent a jolt of hope through her. She had poured her heart into that letter, and now all she could do was wait for a response, her nerves on edge.

I can’t handle this. Call me, Holly! Call me!

As if on cue, the phone began to ring, its familiar chime breaking the silence of the room. Breaking the spiraling thoughts in her mind. Deborah’s heart skipped a beat as she quickly crossed the room and grabbed the phone. She glanced at the screen and saw Holly’s name displayed. The sight made her catch her breath.

Deborah’s fingers were trembling as she answered the call, her voice weak as she said, “Hello?”

“Deborah?” Holly’s voice came through, clear and warm but tinged with a definite note of apprehension. “It’s me. ”

Deborah’s pulse quickened, and she clutched the phone tighter. “I know it’s you, Holly. I’m so glad you called.”

Holly’s voice held a mixture of hesitation and resolve. “I got your letter. I’ve read it several times. Listen, I wanted to reach out to you. Do you know? I called several times last week, but I couldn’t get through.”

“You did? Well… I was at my brother’s. And the signal out there isn’t great. I can’t believe I missed your calls.”

“But you got to see your brother. That’s great. Mom told me about you and Jenny. And the letter filled in all the details, so I wanted to thank you for that.”

Deborah nodded, even though Holly couldn’t see her. “I just wanted to be honest about my feelings and what happened. I’m a fucking idiot. I should have done it a hell of a lot sooner. Will you forgive me?”

Holly’s voice softened. “I appreciate your honesty, Deborah. I’ve had time to reflect, and I’ve come to realize how much I still care about you. I want us to work on this, to talk things through and see if we can find a way forward. I should have supported you better. ”

“Really? Do you want to meet up? Really? Wow… that’s great, Holly!” Deborah could feel the tension in her chest beginning to ease.

“Yes,” Holly said firmly. “I think it’s important for us to have a conversation in person. I want to discuss everything and understand each other better. It’s going to be okay.”

Deborah’s eyes filled with tears of relief and hope. “Thank you, Holly. I’ve missed you so much. When would be a good time for you to meet?”

Holly’s voice was thoughtful. “How about this weekend? Maybe Saturday evening?”

Deborah’s heart leaped at the suggestion. “Saturday sounds perfect. Where would you like to meet?”

Deborah could hear a thoughtful pause on Holly’s end. “How about the Indigo? There are plenty of quiet, cozy corners in there where we can talk.”

Deborah smiled at the thought of them finding each other in the Indigo Lounge again. It had been the backdrop to their relationship. “That sounds wonderful. I’ll be there. What time works for you?”

“Let’s say eight,” Holly suggested. “Does that work for you? ”

“It sure does,” Deborah replied, her belly doing somersaults.

The silence that followed was filled with a mixture of hope and nervous anticipation. “I’m looking forward to it,” Holly said softly. “I think this is the right step for us.”

And then Holly hung up the phone.

Deborah took a moment to compose herself, feeling the gentle hum of the room around her—the soft rustling of the curtains in the breeze, the distant chirping of birds outside, and the comforting aroma of coffee that lingered from earlier. She glanced around her living room, the familiar surroundings feeling both comforting and charged with the promise of change.

Her thoughts turned to the upcoming meeting, and she began to prepare mentally. She knew that this conversation was crucial, and she wanted to approach it with clarity and openness. Deborah took out her journal and started to write out everything she needed to say.