11. Deborah

11

DEBORAH

D eborah’s office was a shrine to her success: sleek, modern, and meticulously organized. She’d recently upgraded to minimalist décor and had L.A.’s very best interior designers come in and do a makeover. Part of her felt it was a bit self-indulgent and that the money could be better used elsewhere, but she also knew that she had to feel comfortable in the space, and the less clutter there was around her, the easier it was to think. The view of the Los Angeles skyline was breathtaking, but today, Deborah’s focus was on Holly.

She watched her girlfriend from across the room. Holly was discussing her latest project with a colleague. Deborah was so proud of the way she had taken on the challenge of the internship. Attraction aside, Holly’s enthusiasm was infectious. She was bright, driven, and had an innate talent for connecting with people. Deborah marveled at how effortlessly Holly had integrated herself into the firm. Watching her now, animated and confident, Deborah felt a rush of affection.

She’s amazing. Absolutely amazing. How did I get so lucky?

However, the moment was marred by the presence of Mel, Deborah’s assistant. Mel’s attitude towards Holly had been increasingly hostile. Deborah could see it in the way Mel’s eyes narrowed whenever Holly spoke, the subtle but unmistakable disdain in her tone.

“What do you think, Mel?” Holly asked, turning to her with a hopeful smile.

Mel glanced up from her laptop, her expression icy. “It’s fine, I guess. But we have more important things to focus on, don’t we?”

Deborah felt a surge of anger. She knew Mel was loyal, but this rudeness towards Holly was unacceptable. “Mel, can I see you in my office for a moment?” she said in a calm but firm tone of voice. The kind of tone that nobody fucked with.

Mel looked taken aback but nodded, following Deborah into her office. Deborah closed the door behind them and took a deep breath to steady herself.

“I don’t get what’s going on with you,” Deborah asked, trying to keep her voice level. “I’ve noticed you being rude to Holly recently. In fact, I’ve noticed you being a bit off with her ever since she started working here. Is it because you don’t like her work—which has nothing to do with you, by the way—or is it because she’s my girlfriend?”

Mel crossed her arms defensively. “I’m just doing my best to look out for you, Deborah. It’s part of my job. You pay me to make sure things run smoothly around here. And sometimes, I don’t think she’s very... It’s just not professional. It’s going to cause problems.”

Deborah clenched her fists, struggling to keep her composure. “That’s not your call to make, Mel. Holly is a valuable member of this team, and I expect you to treat her with respect. The only problem around here is you. That’s my issue at the moment. I was in a meeting last week, and I’m pretty sure you called me something… derogatory as you walked by. But I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt on that one. Just know that I’m not happy, and I expect to see you change your attitude. Is that understood?”

Mel’s eyes narrowed. “I’m just saying what everyone else is thinking. She’s too young for you, Deborah. And people are talking. She’s immature too. I’m just being honest because I care about you and the reputation you’ve built.”

Deborah’s heart pounded in her chest. “I don’t care what people are saying. I don’t want your opinion. And if I do, I’ll ask for it.”

Mel snorted. “Fine.”

Deborah’s phone rang, interrupting the tense standoff. She glanced at the caller ID and felt her stomach drop. It was her ex-wife, Jenny.

“Mel, we’re done here,” she said, her voice cold. “Get back to work.”

Mel left the office, shooting one last disdainful look over her shoulder.

I think I’m going to have to fire that girl. The goddam insolence!

Deborah took a deep breath and answered the phone.

“Jenny. I’m more than a little surprised that you’re calling me. What can I do for you?”

“Deborah, we need to talk,” Jenny’s voice was sharp and laced with the anger and bitterness that Deborah knew so well.

Deborah braced herself. “What is it? I have a lot on my plate.”

“You certainly do. I heard about your new relationship, of course. Everyone has. With that girl .” She spat the word like it was venom in her mouth. “Do you have any idea what this is doing to my kids? To my reputation?”

Deborah’s chest tightened, and she struggled to get her words out. “J-Jenny, your kids are in elementary school, right? I’m sure they’re handling this just fine. And they’re not your kids. They’re my nieces, remember? And your reputation is your own business.”

“You’re being so utterly fucking selfish,” Jenny snapped. “You’re ruining everything I’ve built. You think this... fling is worth that?”

“It’s not a fling,” Deborah said, her voice shaking. “I love her. And let’s make things absolutely clear here. You left me. You fucked off with my sister-in-law. We were married, ‘for better and for worse’ and all that crap, and you ran off with my brother’s wife. I mean, that’s got to be the for worse part. So, I think you caused enough damage to your reputation. You certainly didn’t need my help with that.”

Jenny laughed bitterly. “Love? You’re deluding yourself. This is just coming off as so incestuous. You’re best friend’s kid? She’s using you, Deborah. Everyone can see it but you. Mel said you’ve got her working for you. The girl’s landed on her feet, hasn’t she? As if by magic! Some fucked-up, jobless child who’s been living off her mommy’s money is now living off yours. You’re so na?ve!”

Tears pricked at the corners of Deborah’s eyes. “You don’t know anything about us. And it’s so ironic that you’re calling this incestuous! My brother’s fucking wife, Jenny! You took his kids! Just get out of my fucking life!”

“You’ve no idea what a mess you’re getting yourself into, Deborah. And if you don’t end it, I’ll make sure everyone knows just how unstable you are. Think about what that will do to your career. To your life. I don’t like the sound of this Holly kid, but to be honest, I think she’d be better off without you. You’re a fucking mess, and I’m going to tell anyone who’ll listen.”

The threat hung in the air like a guillotine. Deborah felt like she was being suffocated, the air trapped in her lungs. “You wouldn’t dare. All it would do would bring out the story of you and Hailey. The kids really would be upset, then! And Danny. Have you no thoughts for him? You know he hasn’t spoken to me in months! It’s just too fucking awkward for both of us.”

“Try me,” Jenny said, her voice cold. “End it, Deborah. Before it’s too late.”

The line went dead, and Deborah sat there, staring at the phone in her hand. Her mind was spinning with fear, anger, and confusion. She felt the walls of her office closing in on her, the weight of Jenny’s words pressing down on her heart. Jenny was a cold-hearted, cruel bitch.

That fucking Mel… And fucking Jenny! Fuck you!

She needed to get out of the office. She needed space to think. Without a word to anyone, she grabbed her coat and left, heading straight for the Indigo Lounge. The familiar darkness and velvety furnishings felt like a small comfort as she walked in. Esme had done a lot of work remodeling the place, but the Indigo Lounge would always be the Indigo Lounge. She was praying that she’d find her old friend there as her eyes scanned the room.

Esme was sitting at a corner table, and as she spotted Deborah, her expression turned to one of concern. She stood up as Deborah approached, pulling her into a tight hug .

“Debs, what is it? What’s going on?” Esme asked, guiding her to one of the chairs.

Deborah collapsed into the seat, her composure crumbling. “It’s Jenny. She’s threatening to ruin everything if I don’t break up with Holly. I’m going to have to tell Holly it’s over. I can’t do this.”

Esme’s eyes widened in shock. “God, she’s such a bitch. She was always such a bitch, Debs. What did you ever see in her? She treated you so bad. She ruined you. Anyway, that’s not the point. What did she say?”

Deborah recounted the conversation as her voice shook with despair. Esme listened attentively, as she always did, but her expression grew darker with each word.

“She can’t do this to you,” Esme said fiercely. “She has absolutely no right. After what she did?”

“But what if she does interview with the press or something? You know what she’s like. She’ll spin it so she’s the victim. Look what she did in the divorce. She said I’d abandoned her because of Webflix when all the time she was screwing Hailey. Do you know Danny doesn’t reply to my calls? I haven’t seen my nieces in over a year?” Deborah’s voice broke. “What if she destroys everything? What if I lose it all? I’m spiraling here. ”

Esme reached across the table, taking Deborah’s hands in hers. “Just take a breath. You got this. We can fight her. We’ll figure it out. But breaking up with Holly isn’t the answer. You and Hols splitting up would have been music to my ears a few weeks ago, Debs. You know that. I wasn’t happy about it. But I was wrong. I’m on your side now. I can see it’s real. I’ve never seen Holly this happy, or you.”

Deborah’s tears streamed down her face. “I’m so scared, Esme. What if she’s right? What if Holly is better off without me?”

Esme’s grip tightened. “Holly loves you. And you love her. Don’t let her take that away from you.”

Deborah sobbed, the fear and pain pouring out of her. “I don’t know what to do.”

Esme pulled her into another hug, holding her tightly. “You’re not alone, Debs. I just don’t get why she’s doing this. What’s in it for her?”

“That’s what I’ve been wondering, but I can’t think straight. Maybe it’s because Danny still has access to the kids? Maybe she’s still angry that she didn’t get what she wanted in the divorce settlement? I can’t think. Maybe she just wants to fuck things up for me? ”

The rest of the evening passed in a blur. Esme’s comforting presence was a lifeline, but Deborah’s mind was a storm of doubt and anxiety. By the time she returned to her apartment, she had made a decision.

She had to break up with Holly. For both their sakes. This was getting out of hand. Her life was spinning out of control. It was a deep reminder of her avoidance of love and relationships. They just caused problems, and the only thing she could truly count on was her work.

The next evening, Holly arrived at Deborah’s apartment, a bottle of wine in hand and a smile on her face. “I’m starving! I don’t know what you’ve cooked, honey, and I don’t care! I’m here for it! I’m kinda hoping it’s half a cow with fried potatoes,” she said, leaning in to kiss Deborah.

Deborah forced a smile, her anxiety moving up a notch at the sight of Holly’s happiness. “I’m afraid not. I made black truffle tagliolini.”

“Oh, Debs! Why so fancy ? Sometimes a girl needs meat for energy, you know? Especially considering what I’m planning to do to you later. I don’t think black truffle tagliwhatever is going to cut it!”

“Got it, Holly. Let’s just eat before it gets cold.”

They sat down at the dining room table. Deborah could barely taste the food, her mind consumed by what she had to do. She needed to cut out her emotions and go back to the ice queen soul she had tried to bury within her.

Finally, as they finished their meal, Deborah took a deep breath. “Holly, we need to talk.”

Holly looked up, her smile fading. “What is it? I noticed you’re kinda miserable tonight. I was so hoping you’d be in the mood for some serious action. I’ve got all this energy I need to burn off… and there’s no better way to do that than with you! I swear to God, Debs… all I could think of when I was at the gym earlier was you. I’m obsessed. Do you remember a couple of nights ago in the shower when you put your?—”

Deborah’s hands trembled as she reached across the table, taking Holly’s in hers. “Please just stop and listen to me. I love you, Holly. More than I’ve ever loved anyone. Really. And I just need to say this. And it’s the worst thing ever. But... I don’t think we can be together anymore.”

Holly coughed nervously as confusion and hurt flashed across her face. “What the fuck are you talking about? Why? Are you having a breakdown?”

Deborah’s voice came out as a whisper. “Jenny threatened to ruin my career if I don’t end this. And... I’m scared. I’m scared of what she could do, and I’m scared of what this could do to you. I’ve been here before and dealing with her is pure hell. My world is crumbling down around me. You’ll be fine, Holly, nobody is going to ruin your life’s work. You will find a million other women who make you happy. You are perfect.”

Holly yanked her hands away. “Stop shitting me. This isn’t happening. She’s old news. You’re divorced. What’s her problem?”

The room felt too big, too empty. The silence was deafening, pressing in on Deborah from all sides. Holly didn’t want to hear her words, understandably. She hugged her arms around her middle, trying to hold herself together as she rocked slightly back and forth. The pressure in her head was mounting, a dull ache spreading from her temples down to her neck, making everything feel heavy and sluggish. “I don’t know what else to do. I’m so sorry, Holly. I don’t want to lose you, but I can’t risk everything. ”

Holly stood up, her chair scraping loudly against the floor. “So you’re just giving up? Just like that? Who the hell is this woman? Why are you allowing her to have such an impact on you? Stop closing off and talk to me, please.”

Deborah stood, too, reaching for Holly. “Please, try to understand. It’s so much more complicated than you think. I’m doing this to protect you. To protect us both. And to protect my brother and his kids.”

Holly stepped back, her eyes filled with confusion. “You’re not protecting me. You’re breaking my heart. And what the fuck this has to do with your brother, who you’ve never once mentioned, is absolutely beyond me. You’ve lost the plot, Debs. You’re out of your mind. You need to get a fucking hold on yourself.”

Deborah’s sobs racked her body. The flood of emotions blurred her vision, and Deborah’s eyes settled on something insignificant in the room: a small, cracked ceramic vase on the windowsill. The vase had always been there, a forgotten relic from a long-past trip to Italy. She fixated on the delicate, spiderweb-like fracture that ran along its surface, noting how it had remained intact despite its imperfections. “I’m so sorry. I love you so much.”

Holly turned away, her voice choked with emotion. “If you loved me, you’d fight for us. But you’re letting her win. And I can’t be with someone who won’t fight for me. I can’t be with someone who refuses to explain herself. Someone who spouts total nonsense about some brother… some random kids… I mean, what the hell?”

Deborah watched, helpless and heartbroken, as Holly walked to the door. “Holly, please.”

Holly paused her hand on the doorknob. “Goodbye, Deborah. Please don’t contact me again. I don’t want to hear your ridiculous justifications. I don’t want to ever hear from you again.”

The door closed behind her, and Deborah fell to the floor, her sobs echoing through the empty apartment. The love of her life was gone, and all that remained was the devastating silence. Her mind was a whirlwind of regret and sorrow. She replayed the conversation over and over in her head, each moment a knife to her heart. She knew she had to do this, but she didn’t know which pain would hurt more.

What have I done? Why didn’t I explain things better ?

She picked up her phone, wanting to call her back to explain more to her, but she couldn’t get the words out if she tried.

Jenny’s threats loomed over her, a dark cloud that tainted everything. She had decided to protect her career, to protect Holly, but it felt like the biggest mistake of her life.

Please, let this be a nightmare. Let me wake up tomorrow and find her beside me.