2. Love is the End of Me

2

LOVE IS THE END OF ME

F or all those who fell from Heaven, I alone regret my choice.

My new home is nothing like my father's. I find myself in a place where the sun refuses to shine. The darkness reaches out to swallow me as the shadows try to pull me into their embrace.

Samael has banished me here, in his Hell, while he roams the Earth. He also took advantage of my utter devotion to him and deceived me by bringing three of my winged sisters here as well. It was never love for him; it was control, and now I am trapped in a land of darkness and despair.

I love my sisters. And though all of us are gifted and have the ability to influence angels, humans and demons in different ways, I was Samael's first. His beloved. The token of the love he covered me in. I thought his heart was my prize. But when he had brought in the others, not only to keep my lonely heart company but to share his bed, I knew he, himself, was my punishment for my sin of going against my father.

Lilith is the only one of us that has never set her eyes on the beauty of Heaven. She was created as an equal to Adam in the Garden of Eden. It was our father's first attempt at forging hearts that would beat in time with his. Soul's as pure as Heaven's light. But in creating Lilith, just as he did Adam, from the dust and soil of the Earth that thorns also grew, he made a creature who wouldn't bend to man. She was banished from the garden for going against God.

After Samael and his supporters fell, Lilith returned as a serpent to tempt the weaker Eve into going against their creator. With that decision the first darkened heart was created and Lilith went into hiding to escape God's wrath. She is a rare beauty. Fair skin, long hair weighed down by red ringlets, rose-colored lips and sky-blue eyes. Her beauty is not what entranced Samael. It was her strength and stubbornness that drew him in and he had to possess her.

Agrat, known throughout the darkest corners of the world as the deliverer of deception. She is where we have gotten our stories of Medusa. She is a real life Gorgon. Like Lilith, she is beautiful. Her hair, golden and tipped with shades of green shimmering snakes. Eyes that swirl with images that can only be witnessed in the depths of the sea. And her lips hold only words spilled from a sweet tongue. Agrat is the youngest of Samael's chosen. She is a sweet thing, but if you upset her, she does not beat around the bush. She will inform you of your wrongdoings, and if you do not correct them, you will wish you had.

Naamah is a dark beauty. Her peach skin is smooth and is complemented by her soft rose petal lips. Even without light, her crimson hair still shimmers. I found myself staring at the movement of the waves that cascaded down, reaching to her lower back. Naamah's alluring nature can be a blessing for the creature she has in her sights, but it can also mean she has plans to teach you a lesson. One you may not survive.

All of us represent different facets of sin and seduction. Each one is different and complex. We were all created by a male's mistreatment, even though the universe has since added to the injustice. Even Samael and God have created us to be the creatures we are now. And though my three unwanted companions already had other forms by the time Samael added them to our family, my soft heart had saved me from a demon form. But he forced me out of every aspect of our relationship.

He not only shattered this heart, he filled it with lies and empty promises. And now I can no longer go home. Back to where peace fills the heaviest of hearts, and suffering is only a human affliction. My soft heart fell for his pretty words and his false affection, so when he promised we would live in a world where we could love one another in the open and without judgment, I promised him all of me. I made the conscious choice to deny my father in Heaven and follow Samael blindly and with full faith. And, because in the kingdom of love and light we are not confronted or burdened by the chance of falsehoods, I stepped off the edge, hand-in-hand, with the finest deceiver this world has ever seen.

And what haunts the rest of me is the knowledge that when we fell from grace, our father made it perfectly clear that we would never again set foot in his kingdom. Apparently, we don't sit as high as his creation that he calls Man. Bitterness coils its cold fingers around my heart now. All I can think of is causing pain. Not on my fellow sisters, but those of the opposite sex. For they twist their words into games and see how big of a prize they can win. We are not the trophies for those men who hold their heads high while, with their power, they parade us around like shiny objects they can pass around without our consent.