43. Knight

43

KNIGHT

The door to Isabelle’s room closed and I turned away, fighting the nausea swirling in my stomach. After forcing myself to listen to the reality she lived day in and day out, all I wanted was a shower to wash away the disgust I felt. She actually believed Ebarardo rescued her. I already knew it, but to hear her tell me so blatantly that he was her everything was more than difficult to listen to. But someone had to do it.

“Please don’t keep feeding her delusions,” Claire said, walking out of the kitchen with a towel in her hands. She was wringing it like she was about to strangle someone.

“I’m not.”

“You are. You think you’re helping by taking her out and letting her talk to you, but you’re confirming what she feels.”

I gritted my teeth in anger, staring at the woman who fought so hard to get her daughter back, yet was so delusional about what was really going on here.

“You’re right. I am confirming her feelings.”

Her eyes lit with fire as she rushed me. “That monster took her away from me for thirteen years. I won’t allow you to?—”

“Allow me?” I hissed. “Do you have any fucking clue what’s going on in her head?”

“Yes!” she snapped. “And the idea that Zavala saved her needs to be eliminated.”

“With time?—”

“Do I have to remind you what that monster did to me? He not only destroyed my family, he tried to destroy me!”

“Michael did a pretty fucking good job of that all on his own,” I shot back. “Do you really think I would tell her Zavala was the good guy? I haven’t done a single fucking thing like that. I’m validating her feelings. I’m telling her it’s okay to feel lost after everything she’s been through. I haven’t once told her Zavala was a hero.”

“You’re making her feel like it’s okay!”

“Because it is!” I shouted. “You can’t just replace this man who was a huge part of her life for thirteen years. It doesn’t matter if he was an asshole or a savior. He was the single person she relied on, and now he’s gone. Her whole world has been turned upside down. She needs to be able to say that, whether or not you agree. I have felt that loss, so I showed her some fucking understanding. Because that’s the only way you’re going to reach her. If you keep telling her Zavala’s an asshole, all she’s going to do is pull away. Is that really what you want?”

“I want her to realize what he did was manipulate and torture her!”

“And she will eventually,” I said, lowering my voice. “Claire, you can’t convince her you’re right when she lived a completely different experience than you. She relied on Zavala for everything. He fucking trained her to be terrified of him. In her mind, that was his form of protecting her. It’s so fucking clear when she tells me about her time with him.”

She flinched back. “She tells you?”

“Because I choose to listen. If you want her to get better, she has to be able to talk to someone, and there can’t be any judgment. She’s not ready for that yet.”

She shoved her hair out of her face, pacing in front of me. “So, we take her to a therapist.”

“So she can be told by a professional that she’s fucked up?”

“And you think your walks with her are helping?”

“Is she still in her fucking room all day?” I sneered. “I got her to walk a mile from the property today. A fucking mile outside of the gates of this property. Yeah, I’d say that’s fucking progress.”

“You don’t understand what it’s like for me. She’s my child and I didn’t protect her!”

“You think I don’t get that?” I shouted. “My wife was taken because of me, shot in the head on camera. I didn’t know it was fake. I thought my actions got her killed. So don’t you stand there and tell me I don’t understand what any of this is like! I’ve been where you are, and I know what Isabelle struggles with. The demons in her head aren’t going away just because you want them to?—”

“Son!”

I turned and glared at the man who called himself my father. “Aren’t you supposed to be with Cash?”

“I just stopped by,” he said, his eyes flicking to Claire, who had tears rolling down her face. “Don’t speak to her like that.”

“I only said what she needed to hear.”

“That you’re fucked up?” Michael sneered. “That doesn’t mean she is or that Isabelle is.”

That you’re fucked up. Yeah, my old man was a real winner. Abandoning his family for his second and third family. Maybe somewhere in the man before me was a good heart, but if it was there, it wasn’t directed at me. And while he was worrying about his wife, I was watching over his daughter who neither of them had a fucking clue how to help.

“Maybe I am fucked up,” I agreed. “But I don’t see anyone else making progress with her. If it was up to you, she’d be back in another cage, under your protection.” His eyes flared. “Tell me I’m wrong.”

He sighed, scrubbing his hand down his face. “She hasn’t lived in the real world for over a decade?—”

“The real world was living on that island with Zavala, being beaten when she didn’t comply with his orders. It was being locked in a cell when she arrived on the island. If that’s not the real world, I’m not sure what the fuck you think she’s been doing.”

“You know what I mean. She’s not normal. She can’t go out and get a job or have a real relationship.”

“No, you’re right about that. But keeping her trapped here isn’t helping either.”

By my tone, he knew I had plans for her. “You won’t do anything without my permission.”

“Fucking watch me,” I growled. “She’s a grown woman, and I will afford her every freedom she feels comfortable with, whether or not you agree. She will not be fucking caged for one more minute of her life.”

“That’s not what I’m doing!”

“Michael,” Claire said softly, her face pinched in thought. “He might be right.”

“Are you serious?”

Claire raised her eyes to meet mine. I saw the uncertainty swirling in them, the need to hold on to what little protections she could for her daughter. But she knew if she held on too tight, she’d lose her completely.

“He’s making more progress with her than we are,” she choked out. “As much as I want to yell at her for thinking that man is good for her, Hudson seems to be reaching her on some level.”

“You can’t be serious.”

She turned to him with a seething glare. “I am serious. I don’t like it any more than you, but he’s right.”

“And what are you going to do when she breaks down? I can’t be here?—”

“Exactly,” she huffed. “You won’t be here. You’re off avenging your son. But your daughter is still alive and she needs what’s best for her. Maybe…” She gritted her teeth, not wanting to admit that I might be right. “Maybe what she needs isn’t us.”

“Claire—”

“She barely speaks to me,” she whispered. “Everything I do is to break her from what he ground into her. It’s not working. If I’m willing to let him try, then you should too.”

I knew my old man well enough to know he didn’t like being pushed aside. Then again, nobody did. But he was used to being the one man everyone turned to for help. Maybe that was true for his job, but when it came to his family, he had no fucking clue how to handle them.

And now he knew it.

“Fine.”

He turned on his heel and walked out, leaving me alone with Claire.

“I hope you know what you’re doing.”

“So do I,” I murmured as she walked away.