Chapter 29

29

Drak

Sitting outside of An-nana's room throughout the night was not very comfortable, but I would not have left even if I wished to. I believed I could stay at Terum's home as he is my neighbor, but I could not even stay in my own room. Being away from An-nana hurts more than anything. Even more than the lingering sting of her rejection before leaving Urth.

Though, I am not sure if being away from her hurts more than the sound of her silent cries throughout the night. I felt as if I were being stabbed in the soul seed as she softly wept herself to sleep. She does not wish to be here, so much so that it makes her sob. Am I so terrible to be mated to?

I had thought she was finally falling for me—recognizing how perfect we are together. But now, I am unsure. I have doubts I never wished to feel. I wonder if she sees me as other females have in the past, like I am something to fear rather than love.

It is morning now, and even as I hear her wake, listening to her footsteps, I do not move. I wish to see her, even if I find fear in her eyes. I must know. When the door creaks open and I take in her form, I feel as though I am able to breathe freely again.

An-nana freezes as her door closes behind her. Her hair is a tangled mess, and she appears to be more pale than usual. The sight makes my chest clench.

Her sleepy blue eyes blink as she notices me.

"You didn't go to Terum's," she says, voice catching on the words.

She is pleased I am here, it almost makes me smile.

"I could not leave," I confess, remaining on the floor.

"I know you're mad at me," An-nana whispers. "But I could really use a hug right now, Drak." Her trembling words touch my heart.

So could I.

I hold my arms open. "Come here, my mate."

Her eyes widen in disbelief, but she rushes to my side anyway.

Does she believe I would deny her this? When she comes to me with her voice resigned and her eyes puffy with the evidence of past tears?

I embrace her as soon as she leans down, scooping her up and planting her in my lap. She shudders and presses the side of her face into my chest, my chin tucking her head into place. She feels so small and vulnerable this way.

"I'm so sorry," she tells me tearfully. "I never meant to hurt you."

Even though I am hugging her tightly and feeling stronger with every moment of it, I am still in pain. I wish that I were not and that I could forget our fight ever happened.

I long to press a kiss to her hair but refrain. I must share words with her so that she understands why I am not myself. "You publicly rejected me, An-nana. It would have hurt less if you put a blade through my chest."

An-nana looks up at me, sadness swimming behind her eyes.

She bites her lip before she confesses, "I never meant to. I wasn't trying to reject you. I wanted to stay for Caleb, but I didn't mean for you to go. It happened so fast, and I didn't know if I could ask you to stay or even how to ask you to stay. You love your planet, but I thought you wouldn't leave me. I was scared, so I acted selfishly and rashly. I don't know how to say sorry enough, but I'm telling you the truth now.

"When we walked up to the ship, everything hit me all at once. My family—apart from Caleb—was gone. I couldn't let anything bad happen to him, and with Aprix being so unfamiliar… I feared the worst. I was never trying to reject you or get you to leave us there alone. I didn't think you getting on the spaceship without me was even an option."

"It was not," I agree with a rasp. I would not have left alone. "And still, it felt as if you were pushing me onto the ship, asking to be left behind."

"I'm so sorry," my mate pleads, snuggling into my chest. "I don't want to lose you, Drak. Tell me I'm not losing you."

Of course, she is not.

"I am yours," I murmur, allowing myself to kiss the top of her head. "I have told you that I do not fear your mean nature, and I meant those words. You can not lose me, An-nana, because I will not allow you to."

"It won't happen again," she whispers. Though the proclamation is quiet, it is firm.

"An-nana, I know that you can not always control?—"

"No," she interrupts firmly. "It won't happen again, Drak. That wasn't me being snappy or mean or grouchy. That was me being scared as hell and too much of a stubborn idiot to tell you how I was feeling."

I do not like that she speaks of herself poorly, but I do not have time to scold her for it as she continues to speak.

"I'm telling you, I'm never doing that to you again. I'll talk to you and be honest about my emotions, even the scary stuff. You don't deserve to feel this level of heartache so I can hide. I don't ever want to feel this way again. I especially don't want you to ever feel this hurt again."

Her eyes begin to leak, and my fingers catch her tears. Despite her clearly overwhelmed state, my chest begins to deflate with tension. Nearly all of my hurt seems to lessen with her promise, and I cup her face.

"I forgive you, An-nana. I would have forgiven you even if you did not ask for it. There is no other way I wish to live than by living at your side for eternity."

She absorbs my words and lets out a shaky breath. "That's good," my mate breathes. "Since I should probably tell you, as a part of my new feelings communication, I love you so fucking much."

All the air in my lungs dispels, and I freeze. "You speak truly, my mate?"

"I've been trying to figure out how to say it for a little while," she admits. "Drak, I… I think I loved you way before I was ready to love you. Before your soul seed, before we kissed, before all of it. No one has ever looked at me the way you do, and I think if anyone else tried to, I'd want you to remove their goddamned eyes."

My chest rumbles with a laugh, and suddenly, all of the pain from before seems definitively unimportant. An-nana loves me. She did not mean to hurt me. She never wished to be without me.

And AN-NANA LOVES ME!

"I don't expect you to say it back," she adds. "You can still be upset with me, and I'll understand if you need more time."

"I do not," I inform her immediately. "I love you, my An-nana. I love you more than anything and anyone. You are my mate and my soul shines for you. I live for you."

She sniffles, and her lips curve into a smile.

"Does that mean I don't have to have my own room now?"

I chuckle and nod. "We shall share one if that is what you wish, my Mean One."

"It's what I wish," she whispers, still smiling.

Her happiness fuels me.

"Are you going to kiss her or what?"

An-nana startles at the sound of her brother's voice, and we look up, finding him watching us from his bedroom door.

"I'm going to do more than kiss him," she sneers at him. It is both aggressive and lighthearted when she snaps at him. "So, why don't you make yourself scarce unless you want to hear it."

My cock stirs.

I like the sound of this.

Gagging, Cay-leb rolls his eyes.

"I saw Terum and the girls are outside, I'll go tag along with them. Try to keep your pants on until I'm actually out of the house."

"No promises," my mate quips.

Her small hands grasp my face, and she pulls my lips down to meet hers. The kiss is bruising, and she tastes just as lovely as I remember. I hear footsteps fading away from us as she moans into my mouth.

"Don't think I won't get you back for this," Cay-leb calls out, but An-nana just keeps kissing me, thrusting her tongue past my lips. I hear the front door slam shut, and then his voice rings out again. "Wait up, I'm coming with you guys."

"Hi, Caleb," I hear B'rook greet cheerfully. "Where's Anna and Drak?"

"Violating my eyes and ears," Cay-leb grumbles.

"What?" Terum asks, sounding almost concerned.

"Mating!" Meg-ham cheers, explaining Cay-leb's meaning. She must be joining the group for today. Louder, she calls out, "Get it guurrrl!"

An-nana stiffens in my arms. "Was that Megan?"

"Mhm," I hum, picking her up as I stand. "She is wishing for me to mate you thoroughly."

Her eyes darken, and I scent her arousal in the air. "Maybe you should do that then."

"Do not worry, my mate. I will."

I take her to our bed to do just that.