Chapter 26

26

Anna

As soon as we step foot off of our small ship, we're flooded by people.

"Anna! You're back just in time, and holy shit! Is that Caleb ?"

Megan skips right past me, her long brown hair flowing behind her as she runs straight into my brother. I'm surprised she even remembers his name, let alone feels friendly enough toward him to hug him. But then again, Megan's always been a better friend than I have. Of course, she'd want to make him feel welcome.

"It's me," Caleb confirms with a chuckle. He returns her friendly hug and smiles down at her. "You didn't think I died, did you?"

Megan scoffs, playfully hitting his chest. "I figured you found some rich man who owns a compound and made him fall in love with you. You have a child together, and the zombies are of no concern to you, my friend."

"If only," Caleb jokes in return.

She lowers her voice and tells him, "You see the orange one with half a head of black hair? That's Al'rik, and he's mine. Set your sights on a different one, please."

My brother snorts. "You got it."

She taps the side of his face adoringly. "I knew you'd understand."

"So, you went to find him, then?" Brooke asks, having quietly stepped to my side.

There isn't a hint of judgment in her voice—only caring and curiosity.

Still, I keep my guard up and reply simply. "I did."

I can feel her soft smile without even looking at her. "And Drak's chest, that's for you?"

"Yes," I answer more firmly.

She hums happily. "It's going well, yes?"

I'd threaten to drop her if I thought she was inquiring for any reason other than to wish us well. Brooke doesn't have a mean bone in her body, let alone one that would have her looking at someone else's mate. She's the sweetest one of us all.

"Yes."

Softly, she wraps her fingers around my wrist. "I'm so happy for you."

"Thanks," I murmur.

If I were better at this whole sharing thing, I'd ask her if Terum finally mucked up the courage to make a move on her. I don't know if anyone else has seen it, but the big alien daddy of the group has had moon eyes for her since day one. I know they're friendly and that he helps her with her daily tasks more than anyone else. At least when I was here, they were only friendly.

I have far too many thoughts jumbling around in my head to gossip, though. My brother is dead—never mind the obvious trauma I have surrounding our dad. Landon is gone, and I don't have a clue how to start mourning him. Caleb probably already has, so it's not like I'm going to ask him for advice. No reason to bring him down with me to stew in these awful emotions.

But maybe at a less overwhelming time, I'll try and chat with Brooke about Terum. Or about anything, really. I could benefit from letting these girls in eventually, and Brooke seems like a good place to start. Sarah and Stevie were always the closest friends out of the group, I think. Cayte, Megan, and Brooke have always been friends to all of us in different ways. I guess now that we don't have to worry about fighting to survive every day, I'll have time to work on my trust issues.

Something to look forward to, I think.

Cayte approaches less discreetly, joining the group of us while giving me a wary look. She almost looks angry, which, I guess, is fitting. Cayte hates anything that doesn't go according to plan, and me leaving them without much warning likely threw her off of her carefully curated schedule.

"You're back," she says tersely.

"Missed me?" I snark.

Her lips twitch. Seems she isn't that mad.

I try not to frown. Why are they all so much better at friendship than I am?

"I'm just glad we can leave now."

My heart beats in a strange way. "You guys could have left already."

"We couldn't leave without you and Drak," she grumbles.

She wouldn't, she means.

The Aprixians have more than enough tech to leave us here and come back or leave us a way to find our way to Aprix on our own. She just didn't want to separate the group, I imagine. It likely made her anxious just considering it. She has always been a big proprietor of all of us surviving this together. She would be devastated if after all this time, one or more of us didn't make it through.

"We're all packed, we want to leave as soon as possible. There's a lot we're missing out on on Aprix. Do you need anything else here, or are you good to go?"

My gut twists with nerves. "What's the rush?"

Cayte scoffs. "There's nothing here for us anymore, Anna."

"Earth is dying," Brooke adds softly. "The Aprixians say even if they killed all of the zombies here, the remaining population wouldn't be able to sustain itself. There's too much destruction. We're just eager to start our futures, you know?"

I chew on my bottom lip and nod. I understand what she's saying, I'm just not sure why it feels terrifying to hear. I love Drak, and Caleb is safe, so why the hell do I feel like I want to run up to my room, slam the door, and never come out?

"We're leaving Harold in the garden so he can eat the plants, but Terum doesn't think he'll live much longer," Brooke notes, a hint of sadness in her tone.

"Drak said the same," I mutter in return, unsure of what else to say.

I don't give a shit about the chicken, but I won't mock her for caring.

Cayte eyes me. "So, any last-minute secret missions you plan to dash off on?"

"No," I grind out. "Just give us some time to pack. Caleb needs to shower and to grab clothes from the spares in the basement. I haven't prepared at all. How much are we taking?"

"As much as you can pack," Brooke says reassuringly. "There's not a limit to how much the big ship can carry. And we can come back someday to get other things—if there's still a planet to come back to."

Her words sound like honey, but I don't feel very reassured at all, to be honest.

"Fine."

Without another word, I leave the two of them and grab Caleb.

I practically shove him into the bathroom and tell him not to come out until he's scrubbed the grime off of every bit of himself. While he gets clean, I start shoving all my things into the few duffle bags that I have. Clothes, personal care stuff, pictures, guns, ammunition, knives, basically all of my meager belongings.

When Drak offers to help, I give him a kiss to get him off my back and grab a significant pile of clothes from the basement. Mostly flannels, jeans, shorts, and t-shirts for Caleb. The food down there has already been packed and likely put on the ship because it's nowhere to be seen.

Eventually, the sun begins to go down. The house looks gutted with all of our things already loaded onto the spaceship, and Caleb is all smiles in his new clean clothes. Like me, he chooses to keep a gun on his belt, still feeling safer with it than without it, I imagine. Unlike me, he seems positively gleeful at the prospect of ditching this planet.

The place where our brother is roaming around aimlessly as an undead beast. Or where his corpse is rotting, since he could have been killed once turned into a zombie. It makes my stomach ache and my head throb to think about it. I didn't feel this wave of hurt when Caleb informed me of what happened to Landon, but now I can't seem to get rid of it.

I feel awful.

What if something happens to Caleb now? Aprix could be dangerous for him, and I never even tried to find out if it would be safe. How can I allow for uncertainty?

I can't lose both of my brothers.

So as Drak, Caleb, and I begin to approach the ship to leave, I freeze.

With my booted feet planted in the grass, I stare at the big hunk of metal and technology, utterly still. My heart feels like it's going to burst from my chest, and I grab Caleb's arm, halting him in place, too.

"An-nana?" Drak asks, tilting his head. "Did you forget something?"

I swallow hard and shake my head.

"We're staying."

Both my brother and Drak look stricken.

Why don't I feel relieved to say those words? Shouldn't I feel better now? Staying means we aren't leaving Landon behind. Staying would mean keeping Caleb safe from a potentially bad situation on the new planet.

Sure, there are zombies here, but we've survived this far. Oh god, it feels like my chest is caving in. I can't stop it, why can't I stop this feeling?

Drak comes closer, and his frown makes my head spin.

"What do you say, An-nana?" He can't believe the words, I assume. His chest light flickers, and I swear I hear my heart crack as it does.

"A?" Caleb asks. "What are you talking about? We can't stay here."

I breathe out shakily. He hasn't called me A in so long.

"I won't go. We don't know if it's safe for you."

My brother's features soften. "That's not your call to make for me, A. If I want to risk it, I will. I'd rather risk it than stay here to die."

"I do not understand," Drak croaks, the words hardly a whisper. "You will not come home with me? What risk are you speaking of? Aprix is safe. I am safe. An-nana and Cay-leb are safe with Drak. What risk ?"

"She's worried that you're planet won't accept me."

"Why would this worry her?" Drak demands. "There is no accept or unaccept . I take you there, and it is your home. This is how it is done. What is worrying your minds?"

I shoot Caleb a warning glance, but my brother doesn't care. He is done with being cautious. He wants a life outside of all of this death and destruction.

"Your planet needs more women, not men, for one thing," he drawls. "But she's mostly concerned that I'll be as outcasted there as I've been my entire life here. Because I'm gay."

Drak furrows his brows. "Why should this mean outcast?"

"Because it always has for me." Caleb snorts humorlessly. "You could say our family didn't exactly have room for me being me, man. Anna is worried your planet may be the same."

I can see the gears turning in Drak's head expressed on his face, but he remains confused.

"Do you even know what gay means, Drak?"

"He wishes to mate with males," he says simply.

Sometimes Drak is too pure. He's a fucking Alien Warrior, and he still doesn't have an evil bone in his body. He can't process the idea of being discriminated against because of who you love, and I can't even blame him for it. His planet isn't like ours, but that doesn't mean I'm going to just trust that Caleb will be accepted. I need assurances, and a lot of them.

Fuck, why didn't I prepare myself for this?

"Why is this something to worry about?"

Now it's my turn to be confused. "Do Aprix males mate with each other? Isn't your whole mating thing about making babies?"

"Some males mate," he says, like he doesn't understand why this is even a conversation. "I have been to planets where males only mate males. The same with females," he tacks on. "Cay-leb can mate whoever he wishes?—"

I sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose. "Drak?—"

" Anna ," Caleb cuts in, his voice firm. "We're going."

"Yes," Drak agrees with him, his voice harder than it's ever been before. "If you wish to push me away, you may do it from the safety of my planet."

He looks like he might cry.

I didn't mean to imply I was leaving him!

Oh, god, what have I done?

"Drak," I try again.

"Get on the ship, Anna," he commands, leaving no room for argument.

He used my name. He didn't… shit.

"Come on," Caleb encourages, taking me by my elbow. "Let's go."

My stomach feels like it's going to dissolve, burning with acid-like guilt.

Maybe Drak is better off without me because I can't seem to stop hurting him.