23. Isabella

Chapter 23

Isabella

I can’t tell if I’m awake or not.

My head aches.

But I can hear a baby crying. Somewhere deep inside my mind I feel like I am the one who is supposed to hold him - to comfort him.

I groan, trying to force my eyes open, but they won’t move. My entire body does not seem to belong to me.

I try to move my hands, my fingers, my toes - nothing is responding to me.

Then a heavy weight settles over me and I feel my mind slipping away again. I fight it. With all my heart I fight because I can hear that baby - and I just want to get to him.

But I lose the battle and I’m dragged back into the nightmares and dreamscapes of memories, monsters, and things I can’t explain.

There is a man looming over me. He is larger than life, holding a branding iron. He grins and his teeth drip with venom as he waves the iron rod in front of my face. It’s so hot its glowing red. It won’t just brand me it will burns straight through my skin and melt it away.

I try to scream as he lowers it towards my face, but no sound comes out.

I try to move but my body is locked in place.

Just before the branding iron touches my face I turn my head away and then I’m in a field. It stretches far in every direction. There is nothing but tall, dead grass. I reach out and it’s so brittle it crumbles when my fingers touch it.

“Hello?” I call out in the gray sky, but no one answers me.

I turn around to look back, trying to figure out how I got here.

In the far distance is a man.

His silhouette is black against the white-gray sky.

“Hello?” I shout again. My voice drifts on the breeze, but it seems to go nowhere.

I hear the man laugh and recognize the evil in his tone.

“Marcus?” I whisper in fear.

He runs towards me, and I turn to escape, but in the last second I see he has my son, gripped in one hand, dangling at his side.

I scream and instead of running away I run towards him.

I run and run but I get no closer - until I fall into a dark hole and the ground swallows me up.

“Bella.” I hear a familiar voice. A gentle voice. Someone I recognise, but I don’t.

His voice is soothing, calm and warm.

Then the shreds of fabric that make up my mind rip that away from me and I’m sitting in a hotel room, Marcus is laughing as he hits me, again and again.

The wedding dress I’m wearing is covered in blood.

I scream, but still no sound comes out. Why can’t I scream? Why won’t someone help me?

I lift my arm to block his blows, but my arm won’t move. He hits me and I fly backwards -

The car I’m in is driving too fast. Taking corners as though they’re trying to roll us. My body jolts left and right, but someone is holding me.

I can’t open my eyes and my head wants to explode. The pain is unbearable.

I want to cry but I can’t do that either.

Where am I?

What is going on?

The baby is crying again, and the sound is pulling me like a source of light - burning in the darkness.

I hover between conscious and unconscious. Awake but not.

I’m here in a room but I can’t move. I feel the soft bed beneath my body. I hear voices.

Lina .

Lina, I’m right here.

She’s shouting at someone.

Her brother.

I know his voice too.

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me, Nico. How could you? And when you told me to come see you in New York - I didn’t expect this. I would never have come here.”

“Lina, please, don’t do this now. Bella is resting.”

“When the fuck am I supposed to do this? You just told me about the kid and what you two have been doing. She was my best friend, and you both betrayed me, Nico.” Lina screams. There is so much pain in her voice. Why is she so angry? Who is she talking about?

Is she talking about me?

I didn’t betray you, Lina. I would never do that.

What is going on?

I want to move. I try again and again but it’s not working.

“We didn’t betray you, Lina. I didn’t even know about the baby until recently. Bella was just trying to keep him safe.”

“It doesn’t matter if you knew - it happened - that night you helped her. The first night. I asked you for a favor and you stabbed me in the back. I can’t believe you did this to me.” She is crying, but the anger shines though the most.

“Lina please.”

“I hate Bella and I hate you. I will never speak to her again.” Lina screams.

Tears fall from my eyes as I blink them open. My heart shatters. My best friend hates me. I don’t even know what I’ve done. I can’t remember what has happened. I don’t know where I am. My chest aches with heartbreak and I want to call her name. I want to tell her she’s wrong.

But I’m too scared to say anything. What can I say to defend myself when I don’t understand what’s happening?

“Lina, you don’t mean that.” Her brother says, trying to calm her down.

“I hate her. And I hate you. Stay away from me.” She says again, pronouncing each word, so that there is no mistaking it.

“Bella never meant to hurt you, Lina. She was trying to keep Dante safe. I love her . Can’t you see that. Can’t you be happy for us?”

He loves me? What? What does that mean?

“Bullshit. You two played me. You both lied. Just fucking leave me alone.” She hisses.

“Lina!” He calls out.

I hear her storm out of the room and a door slams.

I stare up at the ceiling as tears roll down the sides of my face.

I recognize nothing around me.

Lina’s brother glances at me and our eyes meet.

He freezes in shock, then runs to my side. “Bella.” He whispers, stroking my face. “You’re awake. Are you ok? What do you feel?”

“Please, make Lina come back.” I say with a dry, aching voice. I feel like I haven’t spoken in a year. My throat is so tight and sensitive.

“Make her come back.” I beg him.

I hardly know him. I don’t know what is going on. I want my friend . I want someone familiar that I can trust.

“Bella - it’s me - Nico. I’m here for you.” He says, looking worried. He reaches out and rests his hand on my arm.

I shake my head, trying to put together a puzzle in my memory but I don’t have all the pieces.

“Where is my husband?” I ask, suddenly filled with fear because if Marcus comes in here and sees another man touching me, in any way, there will be hell to pay.

“Husband? Bella - you never married Marcus.” Nico says, his brows knotting.

“Why - why is Lina so angry - why did you say you love me?” I stammer, tears flowing again. I’m so confused and scared.

“Do you remember what happened?” He asks, taking my hand in his and stroking his thumb over my skin.

“I remember - Marcus - um - Lina was helping me get ready for our wedding.”

“Lina was helping - oh my word. Do you remember your son?” his voice is filled with concern.

“Son? I don’t - I don’t have a child.”

He turns towards the door and yells. “Nurse, get in here now.” Then he runs to the door and yanks it open, shouting again, demanding that a nurse comes to the room.

I shift, trying to sit up. My body is filled with pain. I feel as though a truck rain over me, then backed up and drove over me again just to be sure.

Looking around, I try to figure out where I am.

I’m in a bed, in someone’s home. It’s not a hospital. But there is hospital equipment around me as though someone has been taking care of me.

I have a drip in my arms and bandages all over my bruised body. My face aches. My head aches. Everything aches.

I try to force my mind to remember something - anything.

It’s all blank.

Nico runs back to my side, leaning over to help me sit up and rest my back against the headrest.

“Be careful, move slowly.” He whispers.

His touch is soothing. His presence is also soothing, but it’s so strange because I’ve only met him once or twice - in passing - when I was with Lina.

Why is he acting this way towards me?

Not one, but two nurses and a doctor run into the room.

Suddenly, the place is filled with activity. Nico steps away from me as they rush around me, taking my blood pressure, poking me, prodding me, asking me a string of questions, pressing a cold stethoscope beneath my top - it feels like ice on my skin.

What the fuck is going on?

I can’t answer any of their questions.

Are they lying to me? Is this some sick game?

Was I kidnapped?

Am I a prisoner here?

Panic surges inside me and I scream. “Leave me alone, get away from me.” They all freeze and glance at each other, unsure what to do.

Nico rushes forward again. “Leave her. Stop. Give her a moment.”

Every one steps back, and the doctor takes Nico’s arm, pulling him aside. I can’t hear what they’re saying, but Nico looks miserable.

Then they all leave, and I am alone with Nico again.

He walks to my bedside, sitting on the edge of the bed, he takes my hand.

“Bella, you are in my home. You are safe .”

“But - but why?” I whisper.

Nico tells me what happened - from the last night that I can remember. The night that was meant to be my wedding. Which was apparently over a year ago. A year that I have no memory of.

I never wanted to marry Marcus - but what Nico is saying sounds insane. I ran away? I started a new life in New York City? I worked at a gallery and had my own apartment in the city - and - I have a son with Nico. A little baby boy called Dante.

“I helped you escape him, Bella.” Nico says with desperation. “We are in love, and we have a son.”

“But - what happened to me? Why can’t I remember any of this?”

“Marcus came back and kidnapped you.” He says. “We fought to get you away from him, but when I reached you had an injury to your head. The doctor says it has effected your memory.”

I reach up and touch the side of my head, wincing as my fingers brush across a bandage covering fresh stitches. “Will I remember?” I ask, nervously.

“They don’t know. We just have to give it time. There is a chance it will never come back.”

The overwhelming emotions that flood me cause me to break down. Nothing that he told me sounds familiar. Nothing sounds real. I can’t believe I did all of that and that I have a son. How would a mother forget her own son? How would my body not know that I gave birth to a baby?

I don’t know if this is real.

What if they’re lying to me, trying to trick me?

I crumble into myself as heavy sobs of fear take over.

Nico holds me close against his chest and rocks me while I fall apart.