CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR

SEBASTIAN

Both Stella and Lucy stand in the doorway for the longest time, completely silent and, in one word, shattered.

Gage calls each of their names three times with no response.

"Ladies!" He barks, finally getting their attention, as their gazes snap to his, but still they say nothing.

"Come here," he says softly.

They both walk to the bed and get in beside us. Lucy on the outer side with Gage and Stella beside me. We hold them both as the tears start. I know them both, and there's no doubt they will blame themselves for this. I have no clue what the fuck set Mav off, but I'm sure it wasn't something they said or did.

Gage holds Lucy to his chest as she cries, "How could he just leave like that?"

I glance at him and I'm positive he knows exactly what happened, but he just shakes his head, letting me know he isn't going to tell me.

Stella buries her face in my neck, sobbing against my skin, and it fucking tears me apart. I hate seeing them like this, especially when one of us is responsible for it. We just put fucking rings on their fingers, and now he chooses to do this shit? The panic seizes in my chest as I ask myself a dozen questions. Will he come back? Will they even want anything to do with him if he does? If he doesn't, can they be happy? Or will we truly have to force them to stay?

Both of our women cry themselves to sleep, first Stella, and then Lucy. Gage grabs my hand and brings it to his lips, kissing my skin as he promises, "Everything will be okay."

Stella shifts in her sleep, moving her thigh over mine and moans lightly against my chest. This is perfection and he just walked away like an idiot. These are women you don't ever walk away from.

Gage has been on his phone for the last ten minutes. I assume he's trying to convince Mav to see reason, but I have my doubts because he seemed pretty resigned when he left. Leaning over, he kisses me on the head. "Go to sleep, baby. Keep our women safe."

Careful to not wake them, he slides out of bed and Lucy immediately snuggles up close to me. My mind is racing a mile a minute, but with two warm bodies pressed against me eventually the voices quiet, and sleep wins.

GAGE

I stare at my phone in disbelief. The asshole didn't even leave the property. We have locators on every one of our phones to make sure everyone is safe. This time it's not saving people I love from someone who plans to hurt them. I have to somehow save Mav from himself and stop him from self-destructing and taking us all out with him. We are like a house of cards; if you remove one of us, it'll all come tumbling down. Every person has demons that haunt them. Mav is no different. I get it, but I'll be damned if I allow his past to take our fucking future. I don't know how, but the asshole is going to fix what he broke.

Our women's hearts.

He will be in one of two places. Either at the koi pond we put in for the girls last year, or in the RV. The pond is Stella's sanctuary, the place she goes to read, or sometimes even write, but we all like it there. It's quiet and peaceful. And there's something about watching those damn fish swim around that makes every little thing that pisses you off feel insignificant.

I find him with his hands on the cement wall surrounding the pond, head hanging down, and looking absolutely fucking lost.

"The dickheads called. They are looking for their King. I assume that's you."

He chuckles humorlessly. "Yeah, that would be me."

His eyes stay trained on the fish as he admits, "I thought I could do this, man. But I can't give them what they're asking for. It still hurts. Fucking feels like it was yesterday. If I open up that part of me, I'm afraid of what will happen next."

He drags his finger mindlessly across the water as I shake my head at him. "Well, I can tell you what's going to happen if you don't give yourself to our women completely, Mav. We lose them. Or have to actually force them to be with us. Do you really want it that way? Them hating us? Simply waiting for the perfect opportunity to take our kids and fucking run?"

"No," he says, with his voice cracking and drenched in emotion.

Mav doesn't say another word for over ten minutes, he just stands there watching the damn fish as if they might do something exciting. He finally speaks and confirms that he's a fucking idiot. "How are they?"

"How do you think they are? They both cried themselves to sleep."

"Fuck," is his only response, so I add, "They think you're gone. You said you were taking a vehicle, so they believe you're gone and never coming back."

He turns to me, his eyes red and swollen. "Maybe I shouldn't."

I ignore what he said, because it's not a fucking option.

"You've never talked about this shit with Hannah, maybe that's what you need."

He chuckles softly. "I don't know what to do with supportive Gage. You're fucking with my head."

I shrug my shoulders. "Oh yeah. I'm Mr Fucking Sensitivity now."

Avoiding my gaze, he stares at the ground while kicking an imaginary rock. "How could they do that to me?"

Shaking my head, I admit, "I really have no fucking idea, man. ‘Blood is thicker than water' is bullshit. Your blood family has done nothing but fuck you over at every turn. But this family? Every single person in that house would fucking die for you. Even our women would lay down their lives for you, Mav. That has to be worth fighting for. Worth baring your fucking soul, while it rips you to shreds."

His eyes fill with unshed tears as his gaze meets mine. "I don't know how."

I chuckle lightly, "You just open your fucking mouth and speak."

Walking over to him, I pat his shoulder affectionately because I love this fucker. And I do understand how hard it is to talk about shit that breaks you, but it has to be done.

"Stay out here tonight, but in the morning do the right thing."

He groans. "Yeah."

I turn to walk away but stop midstep. "Hey, Mav?"

"Yeah?"

"If you take off, I'll find you, and if you ever break our girls' hearts again, I'll punch you in your ugly fucking face."

MAV

I had every intention of getting in the Range Rover and driving somewhere far away. Maybe the mountains in Colorado, or someplace even further away like fucking Egypt. Hide out in a goddamn pyramid like the pathetic pussy I am. Yet, I couldn't leave. Every step away from the women left the gaping fucking chasm in my chest aching more and more. I didn't need Gage to tell me they cried themselves to sleep. I could've predicted it. I hate myself for causing them pain, and not being able to confront my demons head on. Gage was right, and that fucking burns. The day Gage has more emotional maturity than anyone, is a rough fucking day. How did that even happen?

I stare at the stupid fish that Stella begged for. The way her eyes pleaded with us because she wanted these koi so badly. And of course, Lucy joined in, to double Stella's efforts. With both women batting their eyelashes at us, we never stood a chance. We act like we're three dominating men and have all the control, but deep down, I think we know we're not. These women have us by the balls. That's how I know I have to do what's right and dredge up my past in the process. Fuck. I much prefer Gage Rage to Insightful Gage. It's like the world has been turned on its head. Everything I thought I knew is non-existent. Gage is some jackass whisperer and I'm, well, King of the Dickheads apparently.