Chapter 5Hell

Chapter 5

Hell

San Francisco was about a ten-hour drive if nothing went wrong, which was wishful thinking at this point. That didn't account for bathroom stops, hordes, dead ends, fallen buildings, or blockades. We were looking at probably a two-day trip, realistically.

Niko and Scottie insisted on coming, as did Nina and Missy, and to be honest, I was relieved. We also needed the extra vehicle if there were seven people we needed to rescue... eight if that sick lady died before we made it there—which seemed like a good possibility.

I just hope Sam had what it took to do what was necessary before she came back and became a danger to all of them.

We piled into our vehicles at the crack of dawn the next morning. I was feeling great after last night's... workout. Actually, I was feeling restless and giddy. Ret and I kept sneaking glances at each other as we loaded up our supplies, and I think the guys were starting to pick up on it.

We had two vehicles, both of them armored Hummers, which I was personally against because of the sheer amount of fuel it would take to get us to California. Scottie and Wyatt had to convince me that it was the safest way to travel since we were going to be navigating a densely populated city...or, I guess, a once densely populated city. But that just meant that there were more zombies, and probably more hordes.

The Hummers were outfitted with barbed wire and steel bars, looking like something out of a Mad Max movie. The tires were massive, perfect for crushing the skulls of walking corpses.

I was just loading the last of our food rations into the trunk when someone stepped up behind me. I immediately knew it wasn't one of my guys. As a former Marine, I was usually pretty good at clocking my surroundings and knowing when danger was near. Not that the tall brunette posed any actual danger to me.

Jessa had a small duffel bag hefted over her shoulder and a gas mask on her face. She stood about a head taller than me and carried more meat on her bones, but I knew if it came to a physical fight, I could waste her in a second. She was soft, not just physically, but emotionally.

Over the last month I'd witnessed her pining eyes following the guys around like a lost puppy. It pissed me off, but it was still kind of pathetic too.

"What do you need?" I asked her, folding my arms over my chest. My pink crossbow was strapped over my shoulder, and I already stowed by arrows in the front passenger seat.

"I was just wondering where I'm supposed to go," she said timidly, yet there was an undercurrent of snark to her words, as if I was the last person she wanted to willingly speak to. She shifted from foot to foot. "The guys won't talk to me, and..."

I cut her off when I snorted a laugh, and her eyes narrowed. I couldn't see the lower half of her face through the respirator mask, but I imagined her lips thinning in irritation.

"You can ride over there with my brothers. I'm sure I don't have to explain why. Missy and Nina will be with you." Her frown deepened, and I wanted to roll my eyes but reigned it in. "I think it goes without saying that none of us trust you. Alex told us what you did to him in the beginning, and it's not happening again on my fucking watch."

Her eyes went wide briefly as she shook her head. "I... That was a mistake," she stammered.

I shrugged. "Ask me if I care. You're a pathetic waste of breath as far as I'm concerned, and you wouldn't be getting within ten feet of this mission if it wasn't for the fact that you can feed that baby."

"That's not fair," she said in aggravation, running her fingers through her wavy brown hair and tugging at the root. She looked and sounded like she'd love nothing more than to punch me right now, and I almost welcomed it.

She took a step closer to me, and I didn't back away. "You don't even know me. You don't know why I did what I did, so don't you dare fucking judge me, Helana. You only have half of the story."

Half of the story was enough. There wasn't any excuse that could justify what she'd done, not only to Alex, but Wyatt and Dante too.

"I don't have time to cater to your woe is me bullshit," I said, stepping up to her face. "You shot Alex point blank, and then you abandoned them. You got yourself knocked up, and now you want some kind of pass? You want sympathy from me? Honey you came to the wrong fucking farm."

Jessa's eyes flashed with anger as she stared me down. "You think you're so high and mighty, don't you? Little Miss Perfect who always does the right thing." She jabbed a finger at my chest. "Well, guess what? When the world goes to shit, there is no right or wrong anymore. It's about survival. And I did what I had to do to survive."

I slapped her hand away, my own temper rising. "Bullshit. You didn't have to betray people who trusted you, people who would've had your back. That was your choice. And now you have to live with it."

Her fist clenched but she didn't argue further, perhaps realizing it was pointless. She stepped back, adjusting the strap of her duffel bag. "Fine. I'll ride with your brothers then. But don't expect me to grovel or beg for forgiveness. I won't apologize for surviving."

"No one's asking you to," I retorted coldly. "Just stay out of my way and do your job with that baby. That's the only reason you're here."

She gave me one last glare before turning on her heel and stalking off toward the other Hummer where Missy and Nina were already climbing in. I watched her go, shaking my head in disgust. Having her along was going to be a real test of my patience.