Chapter 35

Rose

I lay in the circle of Will's arms, halfway between sleep and wakefulness. I didn't want to move. I didn't want this moment to end. My merman and me, finally together.

"I love you," he said for the millionth time. Yet it still sounded like every bit the revelation it was.

"I love you, too, Will." I squeezed him a little harder. "I'm just sorry it took so long for me to realize it."

"You know how you feel now, and that's enough for me." He kissed the top of my head and sighed contentedly. "You know, I should've known what you were to me even before the day I got your phone call."

"What do you mean?" I asked, petting the mark on his chest.

"I could scent you. At the time, I explained it away as the air around you being fragrant, but now that I look back, it was stronger than it should have been. It was centered around you. I'll never forget how awestruck I was seeing you sit there by the cliff, how sweet your wildflower and ocean scent was." He looked down at me. "How did you feel about me?"

There was a little bit of vulnerability there, but I couldn't help myself from not only being honest but joking a little. "Will, it felt like you were going to back me off the cliff," I explained, unable to hold back my amusement.

"I—I suppose it would have come off that way on your end, yes," he replied sheepishly. "I'm sorry."

"I mean, considering I survived jumping off that cliff once, I think I can forgive you… maybe."

His eyes went wide, and he opened his mouth as if to ask me why. Then he saw me smiling and scrunched his face into a pout. " Now who's been spending too much time with the selkie?"

I laughed. "That's not my fault. He's a bad influence."

"That's too fucking true." Will settled back down, but not before kissing me on the forehead.

Bless this man. I loved him so fucking much.

Gods, he was a beautiful creature. From his tousled copper hair to the tan of his skin and the broad planes of his muscles, I couldn't have designed a better specimen for myself if I'd tried. If I could feel my legs, I'd have jumped on top of him to have him a second time, just to prove to him—and to myself—that this was real. That he was perfect.

"So, how are you feeling about this whole bisexual thing?" I asked, changing the topic as I feasted upon the sight of him.

"It's—" he started, then pursed his lips before he continued. "Different, but I'm not actually very surprised. After Milo and I had our discussion about matehood, I did a lot of thinking about whether I was really bi or if it was just him. I realized I'd always really enjoyed looking at men, but with everything going on with my father, I never put much thought to it. I guess I thought everyone appreciated their own gender as much as I did."

I nodded. In a way, I kinda understood. Perhaps if I hadn't been so blind to my own desires, I'd have realized sooner that I was alright with having multiple partners. I mean, how else could one explain having feelings for more than one man at the same time?

Of course, this made me think back to my conversation with Milo, when he'd first brought up the whole polyamorous thing. I kinda wanted to laugh at myself for my reaction, for feeling an insecurity that needn't have been there. But then I remembered why he and I had started that conversation in the first place…

"Can I confess something to you?" I asked, shy all of a sudden.

"Of course. What's on your mind?" he asked, shifting to lay on his side with a hand holding up his head.

"I know we discussed being polyam and all that, and Milo and I talked about boundaries for other people being involved, but I wanted you to know that I kissed someone who wasn't you or Milo," I forced out.

His brows furrowed as he stiffened. "What were the circumstances?"

"It was the night of my change," I replied, averting my eyes. "When Tisa transferred the sliver of her divinity to me to complete my remaking, she kissed me to do it."

He was quiet for a long time, his expression stony. Fear skittered up my spine, that ever-present pain of rejection readying to inflict itself upon me. But when he spoke, my anxiety was allayed.

"You know, I thought I'd feel jealous at the thought of you kissing someone who wasn't me or Milo, but I'm really not." His voice lowered when he added, "That's so hot, though."

It took me a long moment to realize he was in my head, replaying the memory. I swatted at him with my power, batting him away from that bank of memories. The last thing he needed to know was how I'd died that night—nor was I ready to ruin the evening with the inevitable fallout of his guilt over something so far out of his grasp.

"You shouldn't be rummaging around in my memories, fish face!" I poked him in the ribs, finding his ticklish spot to distract him.

His laughter warmed my heart. "You're right, you're right. I'll stop." He withdrew slowly from my head, his power caressing every part of me as he did so. The mischievous tease.

Even though he'd done as I'd asked, I wasn't done with him yet. "Now you have to make it up to me by letting me watch you and Milo kiss. It's only fair."

Will's gaze caught mine and heated. "You want to watch your mates kiss?"

My blush returned with a vengeance. "Yes! It's… payback for watching me and Tisa kiss, especially because I know you're going to share the memory with him."

"Oh, sweetheart. I am more than happy to show you how your mates kiss and f—"

Before he could finish this thought, before I could respond, a ripple of power blasted against my senses. It wiped away all my thoughts, dizzying in its intensity. I pitched forward into Will's chest, the feel of his skin bringing me back to myself enough to recognize the way the magic crawled over me. It made me feel dirty, exposed.

Joseph.

This was his power.

Immediately, I sat up, my heart pounding in my chest. I searched the dark for any sign of him, equal parts terrified and pissed that he was interrupting my evening.

Will moved to a crouch beside me, his arm extended in front of me like a shield. "I have the beach warded so that no one can see or sense us here unless we go past the waterfall," he said, his claws extending from his nail beds.

Joseph's words carried in the air, just like they had when he'd nearly lured me out of bed. They coaxed and cajoled, offering a place to rest, but the hooks of his power didn't sink into me. They didn't mention me by name, and my brows furrowed. I was grateful, but given Joseph's MO, I couldn't understand the reason he was using so much power to search for something that wasn't me.

Then I saw it.

My blood ran cold.

A merman streaked through the water, silhouetted by the bioluminescent plankton. My vision sharpened, twisted, until I could see his aura and the magic of the world. I watched helplessly as Joseph's blood red power speared the merman, sinking deep into his mind until all his thoughts ceased.

I surged forward, but Will's arm stopped me. "We can't, Rose."

"No! We have to help him!" I cried out, pushing forward and shifting back into my half-siren form.

"No, Rose. Look. His mind is already gone."

I looked again and watched in horror as the stranger's mind was overtaken by Joseph's power, barely tethered to his body. Though he fought with what little power he had, he was no match for the aggression of the red blight already in his mind. I'd been subject to that same treatment. The memory of it echoed in my head, but never before had it been so… angry. Almost unhinged. Joseph was pissed about something, and it left me shaking, tears welling up in my eyes.

Not tears of sadness. Tears of fury.

All I could do was watch as the merman swam mindlessly toward Nora to be used to whatever end Joseph wanted, and there was nothing the Kings or Will or anyone on the Golden Isles could do about it. There was nothing I could do.

I choked down my bitterness, held back by my mate, and cursed Joseph for ruining everything.

"Come on," prompted Will, forcing my eyes back to him. "Let's gather up our stuff and get back to Milo. I'm sure he's worried about us. I don't want to risk us getting caught, even with the magic barrier in place."

All I could do was nod. It took little time to grab our things, shove everything into the picnic basket, and flash back home. When we popped in, Milo was pacing around the living room. His parents—as well as Ava and Aira—were also there. The tension was palpable, a heady mix of anxiety and artificial calm permeating every square inch of the place, but the moment their eyes fell upon Will and I, it was as if a bubble burst. Relief poured in.

The moment he saw us, Milo pulled us both into his arms, Beastie growling his disquiet. "Goddess take me, I was so fucking worried for you guys."

We squeezed him back, and when Will tried to pull away, our selkie held him tight. It took several long moments for Milo's heart rate to slow to normal. I couldn't blame him.

When we finally pulled away, though not far enough that he couldn't touch us, Will asked, "What happened?"

Declan was the one who answered, dark circles from many sleepless nights under his eyes as he pushed a hand through his hair. Looking at him, though, he somehow felt older to me, as if the weight of his long years were weighing upon him more heavily. "Joseph, of course. He's sent his men searching the waters for you. As soon as we felt him sending out his power, we had to call in the clan to keep watch around the island. We've caught several of his people prowling around Mariana."

"We pulled your clothes off the beach, just in case they put their collective two brain cells together," added Ava.

Aira nodded. "We didn't want them to realize you were out in the water."

"I think it best that you wait to leave the island for a while," said Iris. "At least not without that crystal you have on. With him as angry as he is, I doubt Joseph will care if humans see him mete out his punishment." Even though we were safe and here, she wrung her hands on her lap until her knuckles were white.

"I agree." Declan sighed and stood up. "We'll leave the three of you here. The four of us are going to take a spot on the perimeter to make sure none of his people try to get to you."

Looking about the room, taking in the anxiety of the people around me, I had to hold back tears. "Thank you," I managed to say around the lump in my throat. "Please be safe."

"Of course, dear," said Iris, mustering a smile as she made her way over to us. "Why don't we have dinner together tomorrow, the seven of us, and we can talk more about this then, hmm?"

"Just as long as you keep us updated in the meantime," Milo nearly demanded, though neither of his parents chafed at this.

"We promise we will."

After a round of hugs, the four of them filed out in uncharacteristic silence, leaving my mates and I alone.

Joseph knew where we were. And he knew Will and I had just begun our mating.

It was long after midnight when Joseph's men abandoned their search for me and Will, and we'd stayed awake to ensure none of our people had been hurt. Thankfully, the selkies were unscathed, but the adrenaline and anxiety of the night kept the three of us up a while after that.

Milo and Will fell asleep almost as soon as their heads hit their pillows. I envied them their easy dip into unconsciousness. Bitter rage churned in my belly, having had hours to simmer and sour as we waited, completely helpless. The siren in me chafed at being caged in the house, even if it was for our safety, and the woman in me—the terrified, pissed-off side of me—screamed.

What use was all my power if I didn't know how to use it?

What use was I if I couldn't protect the people and things I loved?

I'd lost so much already, and it had never been more obvious than in that moment that I had so much more to lose. All because of one asshole tyrant of a man who would gleefully destroy even his own son to ensure I had nothing left before decimating me, too. Just because he fucking could.

The futility of needing to do something while being powerless to do anything was almost too much for me to bear. Not even the high of connecting to Mariana's heart or thinking about my mating with Will was enough to soothe the fury roiling in my belly. From the moment I'd gotten home from Oki, apprehension had crept into my every thought. It was almost enough to make me sick again.

I wanted to lie down and rest, but I couldn't. My nervous energy had nowhere to go. I couldn't stay still. Despite the exhaustion nagging at my heels, I was wired, and the restlessness had me slipping out of bed so I wouldn't wake my sleeping mates while I worried over every possibility, every action. Dread, anxiety, suspicion converged into one big knot of ice lodged under my lungs.

Needing something to do with my hands, I went to shower the salt from my skin and let the water warm me. Then I tried to watch TV, to sit on the couch, hoping a show would relax me even for a little bit, but after an hour of not even being able to focus on it, I knew that wasn't going to happen.

This was the exact reason I used to work myself to the bone. With schoolwork, with my internship, at the shop; if I was busy, I could keep my mind off what was eating at me. Working myself to the bone meant I could exhaust myself during the day so that, at night, I'd fall into bed and be asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. It wasn't healthy by any means, and it wasn't sustainable, but it was a good band-aid in the interim.

I need to do something that will exhaust me. I need a break from my mind and my problems. When it came to me, I flopped onto my back, pulled one of the pillows under my head, and closed my eyes. I did promise the souls I would send them on.

I'd never gone into the liminal space on my own before without falling asleep, but I figured it was like anything in my new body: it just took practice. I focused on my breathing until my head emptied, just like I'd learned from Aeden. Once I was there, in the quiet of my own mind, I imagined the beach with its calm waves and midnight sky. I visualized the white sand and the rock formations that boxed the beach in, the feel of the sand beneath my toes.

Something in me gave way, and when I opened my eyes, I was exactly where I wanted to be. The stars seemed to shine all the brighter, twinkling and glinting above me. A tiny measure of tension left my body as I looked up the beach.

"I'm back," I called out to the souls. "I'd like to send more of you to the other side."

The remaining ten souls blinked into my field of view, lined up horizontally before me, their auras like a rainbow. I moved forward, my hand outstretched, and the soul on my left met me halfway. The moment their hand touched me, I was pulled into the vision of their death.

I did one after the other, ripping my soul open time and time again. The pain knocked me down, but I got back up, against Tisa's advice, and reached my hand out for another soul. A flurry of names and scenarios, parting words and reapers. Lives cut short by the incomprehensible cruelty of Molly Young.

Maryam Ahmadi.

Cort Becker.

Mizuki Hishiura.

Aya Hishiura.

Molly had traveled all over the world, had ended so many lives before their time, and it only made my anger, my indignant rage, burn in the pit of my stomach. There was a reason she chose them, but I could not discern what that might be, not from the many memories I waded through. So, I witnessed them, said their names and wrote them on my heart, vowing that I would make sense of why they were killed and their very souls imprisoned.

By the time I got to Aya and Mizuki, I was flagging. My energy levels had dropped with each soul even as my power burgeoned, but I pushed through. What I didn't expect was that these two would come at me together, both taking my hand at the same time. Then I learned why: they were soul bonded, stitched together by an ancient rite deeper than marriage. When Molly had ended the life of Mizuki, Aya had gone with her mate into death. It was an absolute fucking tragedy.

When I was released from their memories, I could barely get the words out to send them on before I fell into the sand, writhing in pain. Two times the power ripped my soul open; my body convulsed and contorted, everything in me raw and overwrought. I begged for the blessing of unconsciousness, begged to be released from the pain, but my prayers were unanswered. Such was the price of power.

"I'm sorry," I said to the others when I could speak. My throat was raw from screaming, my words scratchy as they formed. "I can't do anymore today. I-I'll come back soon."

I curled into a fetal position. Blessed sleep called to me. It whispered my name, finally beckoning me into its arms, and I happily went to it, wanting its warmth, its peace. Yet the moment my eyes slipped shut, I was being shaken awake. The seductive whisper of sleep turned into panicked repeats of my name, and I had no choice but to open my eyes despite how desperately tired I was.

A pair of worried faces looked down at me, one with ocean blue eyes and the other with cinnamon. My pretty boys, together. I smiled at them sleepily, genuinely happy to see them, but then Milo swore.

"Thank the fucking Gods," he said, hauling me into his arms.

"What's wrong?" I asked, hugging him back but confused. My voice here was normal, if not a little groggy-sounding.

"I couldn't wake you," Milo replied when he pulled back to look me in the eyes. "Normally, I wouldn't be worried about that. You're still in a rough transition period, but your magic levels were dropping and rising erratically. I was worried that Joseph was attacking you or something, especially after what just happened."

Oh.

Oh.

"He wasn't attacking me, I promise," I said quickly. I looked at the clock on the wall to find it was three in the afternoon. I'd been soul sending for hours, even though it had only felt like minutes.

"Christ, Rose. What were you doing that exhausted you to the point of being comatose?" asked Will, scrubbing a hand over his face and crossing his arms. "I thought I told you about using your magic responsibly. Infinite magic or not, using it to the point of knocking yourself out could make you burn your power out completely."

I sighed. This wasn't a conversation I particularly wanted to have, not when all I wanted was to go back to sleep, but by the look on his face, he wasn't going to accept anything less than the truth. So, I gave it to him—hesitantly, unsure what his reaction would be. "I was sending souls to the afterlife."

"What? What are you talking about? What souls?" he demanded. The more awake I became, the more I noticed how his hands shook.

I chewed my bottom lip, considering how to explain this. "The reason the talisman's power is so strong is because it has the souls of thirteen sirens. Molly Young, Eli's deceased wife, found a way to trap their souls… she was going to bind their divine spark to herself to achieve immortality. What I don't think she knew was that, in order to gain that power, she would need to separate the souls from the spark, which is what I've been doing, little by little. I made a promise to send them to the afterlife, and the more I send, the deeper my well of power gets."

I tried to keep an even tone, but my voice hitched. "I needed something to do. I feel so fucking helpless and angry and weak, so I thought that if I could make myself more powerful, I'd feel better."

"Oh, Rose," was all Will said, his expression crumbling. He knew as well as I did why my attempts were futile. Even if I had the power, without knowing how to use it to help the people who needed it most right now, it meant nothing.

"How many souls do you have left?" asked Milo, his gaze calculating.

"Like, six or so? But it doesn't matter how many I've sent or how limitless my power is. If I don't know how to use it, then it's for nothing." When I realized how hurtful that might be to Will, who'd been teaching me, I reached out to grab his hand. "I'm not saying this as a way to disparage what you've taught me. I really appreciate you taking the time to teach me what you know."

He squeezed my hand. "No, you're right. I'm still learning how to be a proper merman, and with the magic you need to learn, I'm not the best teacher. I don't even really know how to approach your needs, regardless."

Silence fell between us, heavy with the tension as we thought about our predicament. Will kissed my hand then let it go, sitting on the coffee table across from me while Milo stayed standing.

Something in my bones, as deep as instinct, whispered to me. It spoke of a truth I'd been avoiding since my first defeat at Joseph's hands. It was a bitter burn that sat heavily at the back of my throat, in my belly—but like a fever burning an infection out, this was necessary. Unlike before, however, it was going to be my choice.

I let out a breath, and in a rush, I said what I'd been dreading most, what sat so heavily on my shoulders.

"We're going to have to leave." I lifted my eyes to look at my mates, clasping my shaking hands a little tighter on my lap. "Maybe not today, but definitely sometime very soon. I need to learn how to take down Joseph, and I need to do it fast. We can't let the merfolk languish under his rule any longer, and I've done everything I can here. And more than that, we don't know how he's using his influence. It's not safe for me to be here any longer."

Because more than just being a danger to my own mind and body, the power I held within me was a danger to everyone and everything I loved. Even if Joseph could not take the power for himself, what he could wield through me would bring about devastation never before seen. If the limit was my well of power and his imagination, what he'd do to the islands and their people would be catastrophic.

"Are you sure?" asked Milo, his eyes dropping to my wringing hands.

"We don't really have a choice." I tucked my hands under my thighs. "Joseph needs to be stopped, and I need someone who can teach me. Especially how to protect my mind if my necklace isn't powerful enough."

I looked down at my lap, hating that I'd had to voice the reality. It was what I was told would happen from the very beginning… but Gods, it still hurts. What if I come back and everything is worse? What if something happens to Vi or the kids?

The gentle brush against my mind told me Will was in my head with me, listening to my thoughts. He scooted closer to me and pulled my hands out from under me to hold.

"I'll give you the flash crystal that brought me here. We'll attach it to your necklace so it will be close at hand whenever you need it, should you need it," he said, his gaze catching mine. There was something more there, something I almost couldn't read, but those ocean eyes spoke of a fundamental truth: he trusted me, and he'd do whatever it took to make me happy, to make me feel safe. The corner of his mouth tipped up. "This doesn't have to be forever, and neither of us will stop you if you need to come back for any reason. The islands are your home. You are as much a part of them as they are of you."

Milo made his way around the coffee table to sit next to me, putting a hand on my thigh. "If you're sure about this, we can start making the necessary arrangements. I'm sure our plans from before can be easily implemented."

I nodded, my lip quivering a little bit at the overwhelming support they were giving me. "There's one last thing I want to try, if possible. I don't know how well it will turn out, but I have to try."

"And what's that?" asked Milo, his brow knit in concern.

I held my breath, my thought just on the tip of my tongue until I forced the air out of my lungs and my words with it. "I want to try to talk to Mr. Shioji."

At first, they looked at me as if I'd grown a second head, but slowly, they seemed to grasp my reasoning.

"You want to make sure you've exhausted all your options before we leave," said Milo.

I nodded. "I know he's not going to say yes, but I want to try anyway. If he can teach me, maybe we won't have to leave."

My men went silent a moment, mulling over my plan. Thankfully, they didn't leave me hanging for too long.

"Alright," said Milo finally. "We can ask Aira after dinner tonight if she'd be willing to set up a meeting with her father. In the meantime, we need to prepare to leave as soon as possible. There's no telling what Joseph is going to do now that he knows Will is here."

"I want to tell Vi that I'm leaving in person," I said, my tone brooking no argument. "She deserves to know I'm leaving."

"Of course. We can go to her tomorrow. That way, we'll have time to make the arrangements with the Malutagans."

Relief and anxiety spread through me in equal measures. This was finally happening. I was finally going to figure out how to defeat Joseph. I just hoped my departure didn't make him bold enough to take the Isles for his own while we were gone.