Chapter 24

Rose

H ot water cascaded down my skin as I stepped under the spray of the showerhead to rinse out my second round of conditioner. Was I taking my time showering because I needed to process our conversation? Yes. But thankfully, Will and Milo were more than happy to give me that time. Was I also doing whatever I could to put off going into the unknown with the two men I loved more than life itself?

Also yes.

When I had nothing left to clean and guilt over wasting water caught up with me, I finally got out of the shower. I didn't want to, but I also didn't want to have the two of them coming in to ask me if I was okay. We had a date soon, after all.

I wrapped myself in a towel—more out of habit than anything else, but I couldn't deny that there was a bit of hesitancy in just strutting around nude, even though the only people in the house had seen me naked plenty of times before. Still, toweling down was normal and routine, which was something I desperately needed.

I walked out of the bathroom, my mind filled with the conversation we'd had earlier… only to nearly jump out of my skin when I saw Will sitting on the bed waiting for me. A gasp slipped out of me, and I had to struggle to ensure that my towel didn't go flying off.

"Oh, Jesus," I said, gathering myself. I swear, one of these days I'm going to boing away like a cat frightened by a cucumber.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you," he replied with a gentle smile that tugged on my heartstrings.

Damn, he was a vision. He was wearing only a pair of jeans, leaving his muscly chest bare for my perusal. It was impossible to not think about exactly how those muscles felt beneath my fingertips… or the feel of his hips between my thighs. My gaze snagged on his lips, still turned up at the corners, but it was his eyes that had my breath catching.

They traced over my body, lingering on my barely covered legs and where my hand held my towel closed on my chest. Tension simmered between us, alive and electric, ready to catch fire at any moment. It was as if my confession had broken the wall between us, unleashed a dam of emotions we'd both been holding back. And now, he let me see how much heat he had in his eyes—how he, too, remembered my body beneath him, how I shuddered and writhed when he was inside me.

I blinked rapidly, trying my hardest to push away those thoughts, but when he got to his feet, my brain decided it liked the sexy thoughts better, instead of, you know, anything else. He walked over to me, stopping a mere foot from where I stood. "You should wear pants and a jacket today. It's supposed to be cold."

That… wasn't what I thought he was going to say to me.

"Pardon?" I asked, blinking at him.

He chuckled. "It's supposed to be cold today, so you should dress accordingly."

"Is it cold?" I certainly didn't feel it. In fact, when I thought about it, I didn't really feel the temperature at all.

"It may not be to you, my cold-blooded queen, but to humans it is, so you'll have to pretend to feel it. It's part of blending in," he replied with a gentle smile.

"Oh, right. That makes a lot of sense."

"All new Otherkind have to relearn how to be human after their change. A lot of people think that because they were human not that long ago, these things will come naturally to them, but it doesn't work like that. Your brain's been rewired to survive as a siren. So now, you have to learn how to navigate the world so as not to be noticed." Will paused for a second, thinking about something before saying, "Milo and I have been failing you by keeping you sequestered in the house and not taking you out to practice hiding what you are."

"I've been out. I went to Alexander and Charlotte," I reminded him with only a shade of a pout. "And it's probably not safe to go galivanting around like I used to."

"Well, yes, but you were among Otherkind then, and safe. We should be taking you out for dinner or going grocery shopping or any other places where there are a lot of humans around. My father is smart enough not to attack you with humans around… or so I hope." He sighed. "In any case, we're going to start practicing today. We're going to have fun today."

He sounded so resolute that I had no choice but to believe him. So, I nodded, trying to feel as confident in this as he seemed to. "I want to have fun."

"Then we will." There was that tender smile again. "I was also sent in here to tell you that Ava and Aira sent over some seasonally appropriate clothes for you to borrow, since most of your things were lost in the fire. Milo is insisting on letting you steal his credit card to go on a shopping spree to make up for it. The bitch is loaded." He leaned in closer to whisper, "Did you know he was worth millions? Like, legit millions. He told me last night when you were gone, and I about shit bricks."

"I… did not." But it made sense. I mean, the man had remodeled his room in the three months I'd been gone. That couldn't have been cheap. And all the magical wards and the state-of-the-art vault and full apartment in the basement? Subtle displays of money, they were.

"Listen, I'm not saying we have to make nice with him, but like, we'll never have to work again unless we want to. We can figure out who we are and what we like before we pursue something." There was a glint of mischief in his eyes as he waggled his eyebrows. "We'll just have to make it worthwhile for him to support us, if you know what I mean."

Heat blazed in my cheeks as I processed exactly what he meant. I gasped, then whacked him on the chest. "You've been hanging out with Milo too long. You're almost as bad as him now!"

"Maybe. But if it gets you to blush like that, I can see the appeal." He grinned, a ghost of his former self shining through, and I melted a little on the inside. "Anyway, you need to get ready, and I have to as well. I hope you're excited!"

Will was gone again as suddenly as he'd appeared, walking out of the room and closing the door behind him to give me some privacy. After a sigh, I padded over to the closet, dropping my towel in the laundry basket to see what I had left of my wardrobe and what my best friends had lent me. I worried they were going to troll the ever-loving hell out of me with what they'd sent.

To my infinite surprise, however, the bag of clothes sitting on the closet floor was filled with warm, practical things I recognized from Aira's closet. She and I were of a similar build, even if I wasn't quite as tall as she was, so her clothes would fit me nicely. Thankfully, most, if not all, of my underthings had been packed away on my boat, so I didn't need to worry about having to borrow or buy those just yet.

A few minutes and one check of the weather later, I assembled a cute outfit of black skinny jeans, a flowy forest green top, black flats, and a jacket. It wasn't my usual style by any means, but when I looked in the mirror, I couldn't deny I looked quite cute, especially after putting on just a little makeup and braiding my hair into a bun.

I grabbed my phone and purse, and when I got to the living room, Milo and Will were waiting for me. I shoved down my nervousness and did a little spin for them. "Weather appropriate?"

"Very weather appropriate," Will replied, his gaze fastened to me.

"You look beautiful, sweetheart," said Milo. He closed the distance between us to plant a kiss on my forehead. "Are you ready to go?"

Was I? Probably not, but I nodded anyway. "I am."

"Then let's go."

While Mariana had its Fish Festival and Nora the Founder's Day Festival, Casper was known for the Autumn Market. The road by the port was lined with trees with leaves of rich reds, oranges, yellows, and browns, and beneath those canopies, the roads were blocked off to make space for stalls, goods, and games. There was even a stage for performances in the very center of the market where the road branched off to the left and right.

As we stepped off Milo's boat, I could already smell the scents of delicious treats wafting from the food stalls and hear the strains of a children's choir singing in the distance. Though it was not yet noon, throngs of people were already filling the narrow streets.

Milo and Will flanked me as we walked past the port. I was brimming with excitement. On the ride over, I couldn't help but think about all the things I wanted to do with them, all the food I wanted to sample. Mr. Mawadaira, the Japanese Otherkind who owned Mawadaira's Sweet Treats, always had a booth where he sold fall-themed sweets of all varieties. Apple, pumpkin, sweet potato, chestnut-flavored… I'd had one of each of his goodies for the first time the prior year, and I'd immediately been hooked . My heart was set on getting a pumpkin pie flavored lollipop and perhaps begging Mr. Mawadaira to stock it all year round.

The little kid in me wanted to skip forward to go straight to Mr. Mawadaira's booth, but I refrained… barely. Smiling at Will and Milo, I asked, "So, where would you like to go first? Do you have a strategy?"

"‘Strategy?'" repeated Will, a smile on his lips.

"Oh, yes. A strategy." I grinned. "Vi and I planned out our entire route last year so we could see everything… and eat everything."

I staved off the dark side of the memory: she and I had been in such bad places, both of us struggling under the weight of the loss of Eli, and we'd planned everything down to the last detail in case we needed to bail at any point. It ended up taking us three days to go to every booth, but we did it, even though we exhausted ourselves. It helped, though, that we could lean on each other the whole time… and that we rewarded ourselves with a hell of a lot of sweets. I turned my thoughts away from that, hoping to keep my expression neutral.

"What was your strategy last year?" asked Will, amused.

"Well"—I pointed to the left-hand side of the street—"we started over there and went up one side of the street, then looped back to the other side before going to the opposite side the next day. But we were also going very slowly and talking to a lot of people, so that held us up a bit."

People were endlessly curious about my "accident" and about how Vi and I were holding up, the news having spread to the other islands after a newspaper article from the Nora Gazette made it one of their headlines. It was hard to go from booth to booth, being asked the same questions over and over again, and in the end, it contributed to me having to increase therapy sessions each week.

"Would you like to do a similar circuit this year?" Will asked, looking at Milo again. "It seems like a good plan, to be honest."

"Sounds good to me. So long as the two of you are good and keep your wallets to yourselves," said Milo, quirking an eyebrow at me, knowing I was going to be stubborn about this.

"Milo," I began, "you've already done so much. I can't ask you to pay for this, too. Especially since I know this can get expensive."

"Darling, I'm an old, rich man. Let me spoil you like you've never been spoiled before," he insisted.

I sighed deeply, knowing he wasn't going to let this go. "Fine, but you can't do this every time."

There was no mischief in his eyes, not even a hint of humor in his voice, when he said, "Watch me."

The jerk then moved close, kissing me so soundly on the mouth that all thought flew from my head. When he pulled away, I stared up at him in a daze, listing a little on my feet.

I pouted. "That's not very fair."

"All is fair in love, sweetheart." He smirked, the mischief only now glinting in his eyes. "Lead the way."

"You're lucky we're in public," I replied, turning from him to head toward the junction at the center of the market.

"Or what?" he goaded.

"Yes, I'd love to hear what you'd do if we weren't in public," added Will, a hint of laughter in his voice.

Oh, so this was how it was going to be: two against one forever. I held back a shiver. "I'd hang you by your thumbs in the basement then flog you both," I called over my shoulder, recalling I'd read something similar in high school.

"Oooh, did you hear that?" asked Will, elbowing Milo and waggling his eyebrows. "She's into sadism."

"Good thing, then, that I'm into whatever she wants to do to me," Milo replied, as serious as ever.

I groaned. "I can't take either of you anywhere."

As we closed in on the stage, the first few notes of a song filtered into my ears. A group of thirty dancers were on the stage, all dressed in multicolored outfits that looked vaguely familiar in my anxiety-fogged brain. It took me a moment to place where I'd heard the song before, seen those colors and costumes, but when it did, the song hooked into my brain.

They were dancing the traditional dances from each of the islands, the very same ones that were performed during the Founder's Day Festival in Nora. Five of the dancers stood and danced while the other twenty-five crouched, waiting for their island's turn. My steps slowed and stopped as I realized it was Nora's song that was playing on the speakers.

The world around me faded away. All I could see and hear was what was happening on that stage. My eyes followed each of the dancers as they went through their routine, their movements as familiar to me as my own heartbeat. The aching loss in my chest, the grief, crept up within me, unshed tears burning.

Never again would Nora's citizens get to stand among those dancers and celebrate its long history.

Never again would we be able to celebrate the amazing community we once had.

As Nora's dance finished, the dancers for Mariana, in their brown and green costumes, stood and began their routine. But I didn't look at them, not as I watched Nora's dancers remove the purple accents from their costumes, tossing them aside so they wore only black. My heart leapt up into my mouth as a minute passed, the dance going from one island to the next until it came time for the finale, where all of them would dance together.

Except… they didn't.

There was a brief pause in the music, jarring everything to a halt. All the dancers stood, poised to start moving, but the dancers for Nora in mourning black turned to the gathered crowd and gave a bow before exiting the stage altogether, the other islands shuffling to fill the space once occupied by my people's dancers. Then, with only four islands left standing, the familiar strains of the Golden Isles' song filled the air once more.

My stomach twisted, the sharp talons of rage and grief hollowing me out strike by strike. The helplessness I felt when I'd discovered what Joseph had done surged within me, bringing with it the ghost of my Call, which twisted along my spine and squeezed. By the time the performance ended, I shook with the force of my warring emotions.

I stood frozen in place, facing the stage as the performers filed off it. I could feel people's eyes on me as I grieved the island I'd made my home… that now lay in ruins. Nothing would ever be the same again. The life I'd built and nurtured would never be mine.

Slowly, the sights, the sounds began stacking atop one another. The constant hum of the electricity, the flow of the water in the sewage pipes below our feet, the music, the talking of the people, the shuffle of feet. The scents, once delicious and nostalgic, clogged my nose. The near-noon sun flashing through the leaves burned my eyes. And soon, even my clothes felt too tight, like they were constricting around my body.

There, at the back of it all, was the ever-present feeling of being watched. But the feeling multiplied, like everyone was looking at me, not just those passing by. Like they knew what I was and how badly I was hiding how I didn't fit in anymore.

Squeezing my eyes closed, I fisted my hands at my side, my stomach pitching and clenching, nausea sweeping over me as my emotions started to get the best of me. I visualized the liminal space, the calm quiet of the waves lapping against the beach, but every time I felt like I'd calmed myself, something else would knock me right back into reality, back into the mire of rage and grief and helplessness overflowing within me.

A crying child…

The blare of the ferry's horn…

The screech of feedback amplified by speakers…

It was one thing after another, after another, and I wanted to scream to make it all stop…

Just as I was about to lose it, a firm hand gripped my elbow, and a wash of calm flooded my system. Then there was a voice —Will's—whispering in my mind. You're okay, pretty girl. Let's take you somewhere quiet.

Please? I hated how weak I sounded even in my own head. Hated how my unshed tears thickened my voice.

Of course. Come on, sweetheart, he replied.

Slowly but surely, they guided me away from the cacophony and din of the Autumn Market. Milo's hand in mine kept the panic and irritation at bay, and when I had to close my eyes to keep the sun from them, Will used his mind magic to show me what was in front of me so I wouldn't trip. It felt like eternity passed until we stepped into somewhere quiet, the silence falling around us as soon as the door shut.

I finally opened my eyes, confused as to how the sounds were completely gone, and looked around. The shop we'd stepped into was as familiar to me as my own boat: Mawadaira's Sweet Treats.

On the left side of the building was a shop with aisles of candy and other sweets. Along the left-hand wall were freezers for the ice cream and cold treats, as well as a whole shelf for wines and spirits from all over the world. Through an arched doorway on the right side of the shop was an ice cream parlor with a handful of tables and a sundae bar along the back wall. It was a homey place, one where I'd spent a lot of my hard-earned money.

I strained to hear the electricity pulsing or the water running through the pipes, but there was nothing. Even the overhead LED lights weren't hurting my eyes. I turned to Milo and Will, asking them with a glance for an explanation.

"Most, if not all, Otherkind-owned or run establishments have sound and light dampeners built into the walls to help with sensory overload," Milo answered, reaching over to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. "Otherwise, even those born as Otherkind can get overstimulated."

My bottom lip quivered. What he said was meant to be reassuring, but all I felt was guilt and frustration. "I'm sorry I ruined our date."

Milo wiped my tears away before I could push them back. "There's nothing to be sorry about. I asked Mr. Mawadaira in advance if we could come here and use his shop as a safe place if you got overwhelmed."

"And you did much better than I expected," Will added. When he came into my field of view, he was only a few feet from me, but he didn't touch me. Instead, he smiled conspiratorially. "The first time my parents took me to a theme park when I was four, we were there all of five minutes before I threw up from the sensory overload. So, at least you didn't vomit."

"I felt like I was going to, though," I admitted.

"Well, let's go sit down and rest, and when you're feeling better, we can have some ice cream," said Milo. "Our date isn't over yet."

I nodded, letting him lead me into the dining room portion of the shop. Will bounded forward, pulling out my chair for me then pushing me in once I was sitting. Meanwhile, Milo walked up to the drink machine to get the three of us some much-needed waters.

I sat there in my shame, my humiliation. I didn't want people to see me lose it like that. I hated not being in control of myself. But I didn't voice this as they took their seats on either side of me. Instead, I sipped on my water and focused on trying to get my emotions in check.

As I nursed my drink, Mr. Mawadaira himself emerged from the back of the shop. He smiled at me in greeting, his form flickering from the mild-mannered Japanese man in a button-up and slacks to the ghostly visage of a creature that reminded me of Francisco Goya's "Saturn Devouring His Son." The large round eyes, the ghastly and unnaturally large black mouth, and stringy black hair… Even his clothes shifted to a white hakama with a dark obi belt. The image had me freezing in place, just like I'd the first time I'd seen him, and forgetting all about my near meltdown moments before.

He swiftly clocked my expression. "Oh, forgive me. I'll fix that." Swiping a hand over himself, his image settled into the one I was most familiar with, and much to my shame, my whole body relaxed. "I apologize for that. I forgot that you could see my true form now."

"Oh, please don't apologize. It was rude for me to stare like that. This time… and the last time I saw you. I'm sorry, Mr. Mawadaira," I replied, my cheeks heating.

The first time I saw his true form, as he called it, was at the fish festival in the midst of my change. I'd accidentally started using magic on the humans around us… in full view of the hunters who eventually ended my life. I'd ended up having a panic attack, and as Milo was guiding me away from the beach, we'd crossed paths with the Mawadairas. I hadn't truly been able to process what I'd seen, only staring at the three of them like a rude-ass fool.

Mr. Mawadaira, for his part, waved his hand. "Please, call me Toki. You're one of us now, and that affords you some familiarity, don't you think?" he asked, a sparkle in his eye. "And besides, there's nothing to apologize for. Declan explained to me what was going on after you left."

Mr. Mawadaira was notorious for being a stickler with who could call him what, a holdover from his time in Japan from what I'd heard. Even my aunt, who'd known him her whole life, was only allowed to call him Sadatoki . I took it as the welcome gesture it was meant to be, even as my eyes pricked with tears.

"Thank you, Toki. I appreciate your patience while I navigate all this," I replied, pouring as much sincerity into my words as I could.

"I imagine this was as much of a shock to you as it was for me." I tilted my head in confusion at his comment, which he noticed right away. "Oh! That's right! I haven't gotten a chance to explain it. Here, why don't the three of you decide on what you'd like, and while you're eating, I can tell you everything. If you'd like, of course." There was a mischievous twinkle in his eyes when he looked at Milo and Will. "I understand if you don't want an old man like me on your hot date."

Heat burst in my cheeks as the three of them laughed.

"You're welcome to join us. Rose is a curious creature by nature. I think she'd enjoy learning about your family and your kind." Milo wrapped his arm around me and squeezed a little, but his expression told me he was calling me a nerd.

I whacked him on the chest, then said to Toki, "I admit I am curious, yeah, but if you're not comfortable, I won't press."

"Oh, I'm quite happy to explain! But first, ice cream." Toki handed us menus. It didn't take us long to choose what we wanted, and he smiled as he took them back from us. "Great! I will be right back with those."

He hurried off, leaving me with my incorrigible selkie and stoic merman. But I couldn't bring myself to snark at them when Milo held my hand again, bringing it up to his lips for a kiss. Charming man.

Will, however, looked at me with an expression so soft that I had to look away. I itched to reach over with my free hand and grab his, to touch him, but… I held back. It still didn't feel like I should be able to, especially not when Milo was already holding one of my hands. As much as I'd crowed about wanting to be with both of them… I didn't know how. I didn't know what was okay. Yes, they'd said it was alright that we could be as touchy and lovey as we wanted regardless of who was with us, but did they mean it? What about when we were already otherwise affectionately engaged?

I had no freaking clue.

It wasn't long before Toki was back with a tray in his hand with three deliciously over-made sundaes, freeing me from my mental conundrum. It was impossible not to dig in right away when so much deliciousness was in front of us.

"So, let me tell you about what I am," said Toki with a smile. Shifting in his seat across from Milo, Will, and I, he leaned forward, an excited light in his eyes. "Males of my kind are called aohanshi, and females are aonyoubo. We were once living, but our spirits were reborn after death due to fierce loyalty to our family and our people, so we can continue protecting them. Typically, we are spirits native to Japan that haunt old ruins and abandoned houses in clans, and if someone living is unfortunate enough to share an abode with a clan, we will eat all your luck. Some clans are violent and will hurt or even kill to defend what they view as their territory. My family, however, are a little different than the others."

I sat forward, enraptured, only belatedly remembering to eat my ice cream when Milo chuckled beside me. My first instinct was to whack him on the leg, but I held back in favor of a brief pout in his direction.

"The Mawadairas have served the Shiojis for as long as there has been a Shioji to serve; we served as humans in a long line, one after the other, keeping their secret from the world. The history of my home country is tumultuous, just as any country's is, I suppose. The Otherkind who live there have always been on the brink of war, as there is not a lot of land for everyone to share, especially as the human population began to explode. Skirmishes are inevitable and usually short-lived, but about two hundred years ago, when I was still human, that changed."

Toki paused, choosing his words carefully. "Another species of the Shioji's kind, the Miyaharas, learned how to master the minds of others and were trying to bewitch as many as they could to gain more power and land. We'd heard whispers of the Miyaharas, but Mr. Shioji never thought they would come to our home, as they were far north on Hokkaido while we lived on islands several hours off the coast of the mainland. We prepared as best we could with what little notice we had. Our families were never very big, and we lived among human exiles, so there wasn't much in the way of defense. None of it prepared us for what was to happen."

His eyes went vacant with a thousand-yard stare as he continued, his smile fading. "They came in the night. Hundreds swarmed the islands, going through our meager defenses as if they didn't exist. The other humans were spared, but my family and the Shiojis were targeted directly as the leaders of our islands. Those of us they could not subjugate were outright killed. They razed our homes to the ground and devoured the dead right before our eyes. Mr. Shioji tried to call on our allies on the mainland, but none came. We were left to fall to the Miyaharas.

"Mr. Shioji had to make a choice that night, and though it wasn't considered honorable, he chose to flee. Four of his family, and four of mine. We tried to settle in the Ryukyu Kingdom in what is now Okinawa with another sea dragon family. That family vowed to protect the eight of us, but when the Miyaharas found us there, too, they left us all to die, hiding in bunkers they never spoke to us about. So, we chose to flee across the sea, and we settled here after negotiating with Thomas Golden for land on Casper. We've been in the Golden Isles ever since."

The pain in his eyes echoed in my own soul. The desolation of seeing one's whole life burned to the ground as if it didn't matter, as if it meant nothing, plucked a tender chord in my chest. It was that look alone that told me I might never recover from the loss of my home and livelihood, not really.

Toki stopped to take a bite of his ice cream, and after he put his spoon down, I reached over and put my hand atop of his where it rested on the table. "I'm so sorry to hear that. That must have been devastating."

He patted my hand in return. "It was a long time ago. Now, we're as happy as we can be. We have a good system in place to keep humans from noticing that we don't die. My son-in-law and daughter are thinking about having children, and my son is courting someone. It's what we always wanted." That twinkle returned to his eyes when he pulled his hand away from mine to take another bite. "Enough about me, though. I take the three of you are an item?"

My cheeks heated once again, and I shoveled another spoonful of ice cream into my mouth to force one of the guys to answer. Thankfully, they caught the not-so-subtle hint. Though Milo did chuckle at me, the jerk .

"We're working on it," said Milo, taking the lead as he'd done throughout all this throuple stuff. "We decided to take it slow for now. This is our first date."

"That's wonderful!" Toki clapped his hands delightedly. "When it comes time for the wedding, please let me gift your cake. It'd be my honor."

I nearly choked on the bite of brownie in my mouth as he said this, my whole face burning. Will, for his part, was quiet, his body tense even as a little smirk tugged up the corners of his lips. So, he won't be helping me here. Got it.

"We wouldn't dream of asking anyone else," Milo replied. "Is next week alright?"

Milo and Toki laughed again, and Will chuckled a little as well this time. As I turned to give my selkie a terrified stare, he grinned, the incorrigible beast, and leaned over to kiss my forehead.

Oh, Gods. I'm not going to survive this mating stuff. Nope. Not at all.