Chapter 21

Rose

M y feet were frozen to the spot. I couldn't make myself go any further, not when faced with going back into Milo's house. Not because I was scared. No, it was because I felt incredibly stupid for freaking out.

Adrian, Vi, and I had continued talking for at least an hour more before I left, and by the time I slipped into the water, I felt so much better about everything. I was still not one hundred percent sure about having two men, but Aunty Vi was right: Milo and Will loved me. All their actions, everything they'd done, was proof of that.

Still, there was something about having two of them that gave me pause. The logistics of such a relationship sounded exhausting to figure out, and since neither Vi nor Adrian had any experience with polyamory, they had no answers for me. The best they could say was to talk it out with my mates… but how was I supposed to face them after how I left?

I didn't have the answer. Which was why I stood rooted in the middle of the lane that led up to Milo's house. Like a dingbat.

"Hiya, sweet cheeks," a feminine voice greeted me cheerily. I turned just as Ava walked out her front door, making her way over to me with concern written across her face. "Why are you just standing out here? Did my brother do something to piss you off? Do I need to put on my beatin' hands?"

"They told me we were mates, all three of us, and I ran away," I replied, my cheeks burning.

"Ah." She glanced at Milo's house for a second before looking back at me, her expression going from concerned to determined. "Why don't you come in and tell Aira and I all about it?"

"But I should probably talk to them…" My voice trailed off as I looked back up the lane.

"They'll still be there in a few hours while you get your head screwed back on the right way. Come, come."

Looping her arm in mine, she didn't give me a chance to waffle as she guided me into her house and settled me on the couch. Aira was sitting on the floor using the coffee table to paint her fingernails. The TV was on, playing a historical drama. It was one of Aira's favorites, one she'd seen almost a hundred times already, so she didn't seem to mind when Ava turned the volume way down.

"What's up?" asked Aira, her brow furrowed.

"Will and Milo are both my mates," I replied.

"Oh. Oh shit." She pointed toward the kitchen. "Darling, why don't you grab that cherry pomegranate wine and some glasses?"

Ava nodded. "Good idea."

"Wine? But it's only"—I looked up at the clock on the wall—"one o'clock?"

"Yes, well, we don't have to work today, and I'm fairly certain this is a big fucking deal, to which you're accordingly freaking out. Besides, now that you're one of us, hangovers aren't nearly as bad!" Ava grinned cheekily at me. "I'll message my brother and tell him I've commandeered you for the evening like I've been threatening to. Especially since someone "—she gave me a pointed look—"hasn't been answering our messages."

I grimaced. "Sorry. All the missed messaged and phone calls have been giving me anxiety, so I haven't really touched my phone."

"Well, there you go. You're going to get sauced with us and tell us everything about what happened," she said with a finality that brooked no argument.

All I could do was nod. Once Ava had decided a thing was going to happen, she was a force of nature that could not be stopped. Her decisiveness was one of the things that I appreciated about her, though. Within minutes, the bottle of wine was uncorked and three glasses were poured, the TV shut off completely now.

"Now," said Ava, settling in on the loveseat, "spill your heart out, babes."

I took a deep gulp of wine then set it down on the coffee table so I wouldn't drink all of it in one go. Then I told them everything about what had happened since I'd gotten back—leaving out the intimate parts. It was freeing to tell them about the secrecy and my subsequent confusion.

"Vi and I cleared everything up," I said, "but things feel really at loose ends with Will and Milo. And I feel so stupid for freaking out like I did."

"I can't blame you for having a moment," said Ava. "You were human the equivalent of, like, five minutes ago. It's a lot to take in, learning that not only you have an actual soulmate but that you have two."

"I honestly had a similar freak out, if you can believe it," Aira admitted. "Ava has the subtlety of a jackhammer to the face, and the moment she found out we were mates, she came on strong. But I hadn't really realized that I like women at that point. Hell, I'd thought I was asexual since I felt nothing for men, and I'd accepted that… until Ava came crashing into my life."

"It took a lot of coaxing and patience to get to a place where she could accept that she had a woman as a mate," Ava added, and I was surprised to see an uncharacteristic bit of seriousness to her.

"It's why our mating took so long. I wasn't ready to admit I wasn't straight, and my family—well, my father, specifically—didn't really understand. They're coming around, which is why we're waiting to have a wedding, but it's been hard. Thankfully, the Kings are understanding, patient people. I don't know if I'd have been able to handle all this if they were jerks." She gave Ava a soft look before turning back at me. "Which is how I know that it's going to be okay for you and your two boys."

I scrunched up my nose. "But… two of them?"

"I mean, you could be like those girls in the reverse harem books I've heard about: double stuffed and bow-legged for eternity." Ava grinned as I rolled my eyes with a snort.

"Well, do you like both of them?" Aira asked as she twisted the cap of the nail polish back on. "Are you attracted to them?"

"Yes, but that shouldn't be possible. It's not right." I sagged, my guilt running roughshod over me all over again.

Ava's face twisted in confusion. "Uh, why not?"

"Because that's cheating?" Even as I said it, the statement didn't feel correct. Milo had explained this to me before, but my old way of thinking refused to let me go so easily.

She snorted. "Polyamory is a thing, you know. Many Otherkind species practice non-monogamy. Hell, I have two siblings who have more than one partner, including Gavin."

"Gavin? Really?" Last time I'd checked up on the family, it'd just been him and his girlfriend.

"It's kinda a new thing, but it seems that Tamsin has caught the eye of an elf as well. Aerin's lovely. I think the two of you would get along really well. Poor Tam, though. Little human with two Otherkind partners." Ava's expression shifted from weary to happy in a blink. "You don't have to worry about that anymore, though. Your boys aren't squishy, and neither are you. The three of you can live together for a very, very long time."

Aira was studying my face as I worried my bottom lip between my teeth. "If it's not hurting you and it makes you happy," she said, "then why not let this happen? Why not let them love you and you love them in return?"

It sounded so easy when she said it like that. And part of me wanted to let go, but my upbringing and the demands of society kept buzzing in my head like gnats, telling me it was wrong and immoral. Gods, though, did I want to be okay with all this.

"I suppose it doesn't hurt, but there are voices in my head telling me it's wrong," I said, taking another long drink from my wine.

"Those will take time to tune out," said Aira. "But in the meantime, why don't you just try it out? And if it doesn't work, then you can make the choice if you want to part ways with one or both of them."

"I can't do that," I cried out before I could think about it. "It would hurt too much. And besides, the two of them are mates, too. If things work out between them, they'd be a package set, and I could never hurt all of us that way."

The two of them shared a knowing smile before they looked back at me. Ava said, "Then you have your answer."

I stared at her for a moment before realizing she was right. I did have my answer. I did want both of them. The very idea of being parted from either of them made me want to rip my own heart out.

"Oh," was all I could manage to say.

Aira reached over to pat my foot. "Give yourself some grace. You have plenty of time to waffle now that you're a siren."

"Oh, fuck, that's so true," I replied, downing the rest of my wine only to have Aira refill it with what was left in the bottle.

I sat with these revelations for a moment in silence. Maybe this was going to be a great thing. Maybe this was what I deserved. Perhaps this is compensation for a lifetime of garbage? I thought, laughing internally.

"You know," said Ava after another sip of her wine, bringing me out of my thoughts, "I never would've thought Will would be bi… or attracted to my brother."

"He did come across as really straight, yeah," I conceded. "But maybe that's Joseph's influence. He seems like the kind of man who would want a legacy, so he'd want Will to be with a woman."

My friends sobered at the mention of Joseph, and I instantly regrated saying anything at all. Dude, you should put "mood killer" on your resume. You're so good at it. After all, hadn't I also ruined what was supposed to be a sweet moment when Will told me that I was his mate and that he loved me by panicking and running away?

A blush burned my face and down my neck, and I took the opportunity to down the rest of my wine. Silence blanketed the space between us as my friends seemed to struggle with the reminder of my present circumstances. Thankfully, though, Ava was never one to let things drag on too long.

Slapping her hands on her thighs, she stood up and looked down at Aira and I. "You know what? We need to have some peen-free time. Let's go take a swim!"

"Honestly, I haven't gotten the chance to shift in ages," said Aira. "I'd love to."

The two of them looked at me expectantly, and I smiled, grateful for the change in subject and reprieve from my mental self-castigation. "Yeah… but I'm not sure this is a good idea," I replied, trying my best to keep my fear from my voice. "I can't risk Joseph getting his hands on me, not while he still seeks the talisman." The very thought of him breaking my mind and using my body, my power, to do anything he wanted sent chills up my spine.

Aira smiled at me and nodded in understanding. "We've been keeping an eye out for their scouting patterns and where his lackeys patrol. He and his typically stay in the shallows, but about fifty miles north of here, where the drop off into the deep is, they don't go. If we hang out there, we can play around as we like."

"Besides," added Ava, "I don't think anyone will fuck with Aira."

Before I could even ask what she meant, Aira added, "And I'm dying to see your siren form, and I bet you're dying to know what I am."

"Oh!" I exclaimed, my eyes going wide. I'd been waiting over a year to learn what the Shiojis were, since Mr. Shioji wanted to keep it a secret. I still had no idea why. "You can tell me now?"

"I can indeed. You're Otherkind now, and whether my father likes it or not, you're one of us." She beamed and held out her hand. "So, you wanna come?"

I turned the options over in my mind, but despite the warning bells sounding in my head, my curiosity won out. I placed my hand in hers and let her hoist me up before we were tugged out the door by her mate.

As soon our feet touched the sand, my friends were shucking off their clothes and tossing them into a pile as far away from the surf as possible, heading toward the water. I moved to join them, but Ava stopped me, pointing at my dress. "Are you sure you want to wear that? I'm not asking in a joking way. I can't imagine it's very easy to swim in."

In truth, it wasn't easy to swim in my dresses. It felt unnatural and impeded my movements quite a bit with how the fabric caught in the current. Apprehension filled me. Was I truly ready to go tits out and full Otherkind?

"How about this," I started, trying to negotiate for a little more time to deliberate without my best friends looking at me expectantly. "I'll take off my dress and go full nudist if you give me a full gallon of your favorite chocolate milk."

Ava was absolutely obsessed with this one particular brand of chocolate milk—some weird local company from Iowa—and she practically hoarded the stuff when she could get it. So, I honestly thought she would say no right away, given how protective she was of it, but then she got that classic Ava glint in her eye. She smirked.

"You're in luck. I just got an order earlier this week. Let me go grab my pelt and I'll hand one of the gallons directly to Milo right now."

Without another word, she ran off toward her house, and Aira and I walked back up the beach to keep an eye on her. Sure enough, she came out with her pelt and a gallon of her personal ambrosia, as well as a Sharpie in her hands, the latter of which she lifted over her head with a victorious grin. She wrote in huge letters across the side: ROSE ONLY. NO STINKY BOYS ALLOWED.

Aira patted me on the back, laughing as my shoulders sagged. "I'd say sorry, but I think you knew she was going to do anything to get you out of the habit of being modest like the humans."

I snorted. "Yeah, but you know she doesn't share her chocolate milk with anyone, not even you. I didn't think she'd give one up."

"Apparently not," she replied as Ava ran back to us, cackling like a madwoman with her pelt around her shoulders like a superhero cape.

The selkie woman smirked. "Alright, missy! Time to get naked!"

"The first time is the hardest, I've heard," added Aira.

With a beleaguered sigh, I trudged back out of the water and pulled my dress off over my head before laying it down far from the surf. Ava wolf whistled behind me. My hands wanted to cover myself, to hide my body from them, and I almost put my dress back on, but an idea popped into my head. Hiding my smile, I looked over my shoulder to check where they were behind me.

Then, taking a deep breath, I turned around and ran toward the water with my new supernatural speed, streaking past them.

Ava cried out, "Oi! That's not fair!"

I laughed as they ran to join me, diving beneath the waves.